Is friendship possible through me?

[RaikuFA]

So today at the job I just transferred to, I noticed that some of my coworkers were talking about game sessions they were having. I hoped "maybe I'll finally make some friends". But there was something about it that bugged me. It wasn't them talking about about game genre's I suck at, it was the fact that I felt excluded when I told them I don't play those games. I started to get this vibe that I wasn't welcome to talk to them anymore.

I dunno, I just think maybe I'm not supposed to have friends. Or if i have to discard my likes and force myself to like what they liked. Should I just stay friendless or force myself to be something I'm not?

 

[SlaveNumber23]

You're making way too big a deal about this one small example, there are plenty of people out there and a lot of them are going to have different interests to you. It might take a bit of work to find them but there are definitely countless people out there who would love to be your friend, I guarantee it. Don't give up, keep trying and building your confidence and social skills.

Also, friendship works both ways, try to look at it from the other persons perspective, if you really want to be friends with someone, such as a coworker, then you might have to act interested in their interests, even if you have to push yourself to. Instead of just saying you don't play those genres, ask them questions about them. Maybe even make a joke about how you suck at them. You don't have to change your interests to appear interested.

 

[Smooth Operator]

It's really far less what you like and far more how you interact. If you just shoot down their attempt at a conversation when it's something you haven't been into then they feel you don't want to talk. I might not ever buy a WiiU because I'm not that into family friendly/children's games, but that doesn't mean I won't sit down for a round of Mario Kart 15 or whatever it is now.

You can always find common ground if you want to, and you never will when you don't want to.

 

[Foolery]

Ran into the same issue at my local tabletop/gaming den, when I mentioned I wasn't that into Warhammer, even though I did say I was interested in learning the game. Don't take it too personally, maybe give them another chance, if you get the same reaction, well move on, I guess.

 

[Barbas]

Maybe you just feel that you "suck" at those games because you haven't had much experience with them. Showing a little interest and willingness to try them anyway never hurts. Like Smooth said, it's not that hard to find common ground if you put sufficient effort into it, which is what building relationships is really about. And if you do feel that they'r excluding you for not showing the same level of interest as them, then as Dead said, you can amicably accept that and move on to other things. No biggie.

 

[RaikuFA]

Maybe you just feel that you "suck" at those games because you haven't had much experience with them. Showing a little interest and willingness to try them anyway never hurts. Like Smooth said, it's not that hard to find common ground if you put sufficient effort into it, which is what building relationships is really about. And if you do feel that they'r excluding you for not showing the same level of interest as them, then as Dead said, you can amicably accept that and move on to other things. No biggie.

I actually have tried them. I really didn't like them. I told them the attacks I got over not being as good as the people I had to play with in matchmaking. Just get told "then play with friends". I kinda facepalmed in my head.

 

[Barbas]

Maybe you just feel that you "suck" at those games because you haven't had much experience with them. Showing a little interest and willingness to try them anyway never hurts. Like Smooth said, it's not that hard to find common ground if you put sufficient effort into it, which is what building relationships is really about. And if you do feel that they'r excluding you for not showing the same level of interest as them, then as Dead said, you can amicably accept that and move on to other things. No biggie.

I actually have tried them. I really didn't like them. I told them the attacks I got over not being as good as the people I had to play with in matchmaking. Just get told "then play with friends". I kinda facepalmed in my head.

Ah. Sounds like a lot of the sort of trouble I get with online FPS games. Not having friendly people to play those games with can really suck the fun out of them, but the best way to get those people is to put feelers out. You'll reach a happy and workable situation if you do that.

 

[RaikuFA]

Maybe you just feel that you "suck" at those games because you haven't had much experience with them. Showing a little interest and willingness to try them anyway never hurts. Like Smooth said, it's not that hard to find common ground if you put sufficient effort into it, which is what building relationships is really about. And if you do feel that they'r excluding you for not showing the same level of interest as them, then as Dead said, you can amicably accept that and move on to other things. No biggie.

I actually have tried them. I really didn't like them. I told them the attacks I got over not being as good as the people I had to play with in matchmaking. Just get told "then play with friends". I kinda facepalmed in my head.

Ah. Sounds like a lot of the sort of trouble I get with online FPS games. Not having friendly people to play those games with can really suck the fun out of them, but the best way to get those people is to put feelers out. You'll reach a happy and workable situation if you do that.

What are feelers? Never heard of them.

 

[Barbas]

Maybe you just feel that you "suck" at those games because you haven't had much experience with them. Showing a little interest and willingness to try them anyway never hurts. Like Smooth said, it's not that hard to find common ground if you put sufficient effort into it, which is what building relationships is really about. And if you do feel that they'r excluding you for not showing the same level of interest as them, then as Dead said, you can amicably accept that and move on to other things. No biggie.

I actually have tried them. I really didn't like them. I told them the attacks I got over not being as good as the people I had to play with in matchmaking. Just get told "then play with friends". I kinda facepalmed in my head.

Ah. Sounds like a lot of the sort of trouble I get with online FPS games. Not having friendly people to play those games with can really suck the fun out of them, but the best way to get those people is to put feelers out. You'll reach a happy and workable situation if you do that.

What are feelers? Never heard of them.

Those are antennae used to examine and explore, to get a feel for the situation or figure out attitudes and opinions. These dudes just use 'em for testing things by touch and locating food, though:

 

[RaikuFA]

Maybe you just feel that you "suck" at those games because you haven't had much experience with them. Showing a little interest and willingness to try them anyway never hurts. Like Smooth said, it's not that hard to find common ground if you put sufficient effort into it, which is what building relationships is really about. And if you do feel that they'r excluding you for not showing the same level of interest as them, then as Dead said, you can amicably accept that and move on to other things. No biggie.

I actually have tried them. I really didn't like them. I told them the attacks I got over not being as good as the people I had to play with in matchmaking. Just get told "then play with friends". I kinda facepalmed in my head.

Ah. Sounds like a lot of the sort of trouble I get with online FPS games. Not having friendly people to play those games with can really suck the fun out of them, but the best way to get those people is to put feelers out. You'll reach a happy and workable situation if you do that.

What are feelers? Never heard of them.

Those are antennae used to examine and explore, to get a feel for the situation or figure out attitudes and opinions. These dudes just use 'em for testing things by touch and locating food, though:

I kinda figured. Didn't know abnyone used it in this context. It's still really hard to just interact with people online in those games. Nothing but people throwing tantrums and sending death threats over me not playing how they want me to play.

 

[Barbas]

(Snip).

Wo-ho-hoah! I think I may need to stop using that particular bit of embedding code; it doesn't seem to play well with the site! O_O

Well, that sounds considerably more harsh. I'm guessing you mean FPS games? If people take them seriously enough to lose their temper at other players more or less constantly, then you're probably better off moving on to other games. Fun should be fun, after all. It ain't fun at all if your teammates are abusing you and each other.

 

[RaikuFA]

(Snip).

Wo-ho-hoah! I think I may need to stop using that particular bit of embedding code; it doesn't seem to play well with the site! O_O

Well, that sounds considerably more harsh. I'm guessing you mean FPS games? If people take them seriously enough to lose their temper at other players more or less constantly, then you're probably better off moving on to other games. Fun should be fun, after all. It ain't fun at all if your teammates are abusing you and each other.

It's not just FPS, it's also MMO's and MOBA'S.

 

[Barbas]

(Snip).

Wo-ho-hoah! I think I may need to stop using that particular bit of embedding code; it doesn't seem to play well with the site! O_O

Well, that sounds considerably more harsh. I'm guessing you mean FPS games? If people take them seriously enough to lose their temper at other players more or less constantly, then you're probably better off moving on to other games. Fun should be fun, after all. It ain't fun at all if your teammates are abusing you and each other.

It's not just FPS, it's also MMO's and MOBA'S.

Yeah, those ones are usually the worst offenders in that area. I stopped playing Battlefield 3 because the only communication between teammates most of the time was in the form of insults. Like I said, aggravation just isn't going to be fun. It's probably time to test the waters a bit and take a look at other online games. There are a few groups with fairly regular gamers in like the EUNOPF [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/groups/view/Escapist-United-Nations-of-Pure-Fun]. Civilization V is a fairly slow-paced and relaxed game to play with friends. It helps you strike up conversations and get to know people a lot better.

 

[RaikuFA]

I don't have civ 5. Plus my comps busted at the moment.