Is it really better to have loved and lost?

[Revnak_v1legacy]

Is it better to have lived in fear your entire life of what could happen than to experience it? Doing nothing with your existence is one of the worst things that any human being can do. Living, at its finest, will inevitably involve taking the time to love someone, and discovering that individual was incapable of loving you back, or worse yet, "unworthy" of being trusted with it. To continue to love such individuals, in a purely platonic way, is what can and will set one apart, and in the end, is what makes life worth living. To lose an individual is better than having never known them. To forget better than to have lived in ignorance. To live and die better than to have never lived at all.

 

[Guitar Gamer]

well were one to look at love as a quantiative thing. Then the only logical answer would be "It is is better to have loved and loss than not to have loved at all"
Think about it, if love makes you happy, and losing that love makes you no longer happy, but cannot remove the happiness you once had, then having loved at all means you have been happier for it. This leads to me to believe you are better off for it.

 

[Bravo 21]

dont regret that which you have done, but that which you haven't, sure we all make dumb decisions, but they were our choices, and they define us, might as well do as much as we can, so we can regret having a good time.

 

[Tselis]

As someone who has recently lost I can tell you that saying that it's better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all is BULL-FUCKING-SHIT. That's like saying it's better to do heroine and get clean then to never get addicted at all. Seriously, fuck that!

 

[Squilookle]

Yes.

No ifs, no buts, no weighing up options. Falling in love is worth every bit of heartache, anxiety, missed opportunity and embarrassment it takes to get there. Even if it doesn't last.

You may as well ask if it's better to have learned to swim or never have gotten wet at all. Or if it's better to avoid learning to ride a bike just so you don't run the risk of skinning your knees.

When you get there, no matter how long it took, it will be worth it

 

[Klagermeister]

Yes, it is definitely better.
Despite being manipulated, pushed to the brink of insanity, and lied to causing me to now have a daughter that I may never get to meet in my life, I loved the girl who did it all, and I'm glad we had a relationship.

To love someone intensely and never get a chance to share it? Now THAT is a shitstorm.

 

[chaosyoshimage]

They both suck equally! Yay for misery! It always wins.

 

[Chase Yojimbo]

There are two teachers in our great universe that spiral us forward to our deaths. Time, and Pain. In this case, having loved and lost is a teaching of pain. In order to learn answers of the universe we must overcome the natural pains of life. Never knowing those pains only ever makes us a hollow shell to reality.

I believe it was already mentioned in this thread that not knowing love can lead to anxiety, depression, and many other negative symptoms. I personally can account for all of this, and it is not worth the absence of such knowledge. In fact, I still do not know this thing called love, even lust, but when I do I am bound too live a life that I see fit too the fullest. If not? I seek to find more answers to fill that hole like the scholar I am, but never filling that hole to begin with is an action most unwise for any man or woman.

 

[duchaked]

eh ehh ehhhh...

sure, it is

well at any rate it's great for helping become a cynic after such an experience

 

[Notorious_BMC]

As someone who has recently lost...

You'll get over it, and you'll answer the question differently years from now.

OP:
Love is irrational. You can fall in love with anyone--whether they deserve it or not, or whether you're ready for it or not. I've done both, and I'd rather have done neither. I'd rather have spent my lifetime searching for love (and making an earnest attempt at love with each partner) and never found it than to have found it and not have it last my lifetime. An experience in the past does not make your reality today. The present is what matters and if your choices have not led to a love persisting then you should have made different choices.

tl;dr - don't fall in love just to have fallen in love, do it right the first time.

 

[Cedric Wilson]

To quote YES, "Owner of a lonely heart Much better than - a
Owner of a broken heart"

 

[Chase Yojimbo]

eh ehh ehhhh...

sure, it is

well at any rate it's great for helping become a cynic after such an experience

Every man on planet earth has dealt with breaking up... except the deviations such as myself... Are you stating that there is a 100% (if not 75%) chance that a man will become a Cynic? Or rather is it a 100% (or 75%) chance that 'you' will become a Cynic?

Individuality is a ***** ain't it?

 

[SonicKoala]

Yes, it is. If you disagree, then you're probably one of those people who is content to lock themselves away from the world and never try anything new. We only get one life, so you had best take advantage of it. And of all the amazing things to do and see and experience, I would contend that love is arguably one of the greatest things a person can experience.

If your excuse for not finding love is "I'm afraid of getting hurt", then you're a coward.

 

[idarkphoenixi]

Never knowing at all would just make you ignorant to life.

As a social animal, human beings are designed by nature to feel compassion. We're not meant to be alone in life, it's in our genetics. After enough social interaction then it's only natural to feel a deep compassion (I wouldn't really call it "love", I never really use that word but to each his own).

If you deny wanting to be with someone then you're denying who you are.

 

[crudus]

Not in my experience. I am an extremely bitter person because of having loved and lost. I would much rather never love again than go through any of it again.

To quote Marilyn Monroe: It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone - so far.


then again, I am young, so we'll see

 

[similar.squirrel]

Starting to wonder that myself, since the dissolution of my last relationship seems to have buggered my psyche to a considerable degree.

I'd do it all again, though. Really is like a bloody drug.

 

[Pyromaster Muaddib]

Better to have loved and lost than spent the rest of my life with a ***** like you.

Although I do suppose it all depends on the nature of said "lost"...

 

[InsomniJack]

Is it better to have loved and lost than never loved at all? I think so, yeah.

Is it better to have loved and lost repeatedly than never loved at all? Probably not.

 

[A Free Man]

Hello Escapist! I have been thinking about this for a while and wanted to know what you guys thought. Is it really better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all? I personally believe if you`ve never experienced love then you dont know what your missing as apposed to having had love and then knowing what you`ve lost. What are your thoughts on the matter?

Well I am not an expert on the subject but wouldn't you assume that the only reason losing someone hurts so much is because of how much you loved them. Sure it hurts really bad when you do lose them but at least you will always have the memories that you made with them forever. If you never had those memories then what would be the point of living. You would just be a tool or an idiot or both never really experiencing anything exciting and just drifting through life unexpectingly. Maybe it would be easier but I sure as hell don't think it would be better.

 

[Llamagina]

It honestly comes down to personal philosophy. Those who would rather go without knowing are spared the soul-crushing pain a break up but without ever knowing what love feels like can could be just as bad. Being a man who knows the pain of heartbreak, I wouldn't change a thing but thats because I believe that true happiness if found through destruction. There is nothing wrong with never knowing love but personally the question of "what if" would've driven me to the edge of madness.