Is it really better to have loved and lost?

[Betancore]

I see it as all being part of the human experience - if I'm going to be stuck here to be miserable for another seventy, eighty odd years, I may as well go all the way with empirical experience. I'm only 16 and I can't say right now if I'm in love. However, if in retrospect, I am in love with the person who I think I'm in love with right now, then I think it's well worth it to inevitably lose this person. Life is a bit of a downer for me anyway, and while I don't mind being single, I do recall being very lonely and wistful before I entered into my first relationship. So I guess while never having loved would mean that you'd never know what you were missing, people forget that even if you've never loved, it doesn't mean that you never want to.

 

[theseworlds]

Based off my own experiences and those of my friends, you have to be hurt by 'love' before you can take an adult, realistic approach to a relationship. It's part of growing up, part of a maturation process that everyone has to go through. In a first relationship, there's always going to be a certain amount of naivety and unrealistic expectations going in, which will continue until the individual has his heart ripped out. It's rough, but that's the way it is. As cliche'd as it sounds, there are others out there.

So, yes, it is better to have 'loved and lost'.

 

[trollnystan]

Yes it is, though I'm saying this as someone who's never really been in love so I have no actual experience beyond puppy-love heartbreak. (Which lasts about a week.)

 

[tobyornottoby]

It's called life. As others have said, coping with losses is part of the maturity process.

 

[Dr.Panties]

It is far better to dispense with emotions altogether. Just repress everything, bottle it all into an airtight compartment deep within one's soul, and then set fire to that soul. The sense of dissipation, of a weight forever lifted, is palpable.

To prevent the soul- and thus emotions- manifesting yet again, one need only focus intently upon external control. Once focus is completely externalised, introspection has no place in the world. It becomes redundant. Control becomes paramount, embodied in perfectly arranged cutlery on a dining table, perfectly arranged shoes and wardrobe, perfectly aligned pens and stationery upon one's desk. A watch perfectly wound, and forever keeping perfect time. A clockwork life.

Obsession is but the extremity of focus. It is purpose without distraction, without the destructive highs and lows of emotion. Of love. For the consummate automaton, the smile is a conditioned response to specific stimuli. It facilitates efficient social interaction, and prevents non-productive outcomes, such as confrontation. And loss.

And if one finds that, despite it all, the soul reforms like a blind pimple, growing ever larger and throbbing painfully with the promise of an emotional maelstrom unleashed, an orgiastic eruption of violence...

...well, there's always therapy, right? Right?

 

[TheDarkestDerp]

I don't believe it's better to be ignorant of something because it saves you the hardship of dealing with it's difficult points..

However, I do acknowledge I'd be much less traumatized and less a sociopath if I'd just stayed single.

 

[MorphingDragon]

Yes, it is. If you disagree, then you're probably one of those people who is content to lock themselves away from the world and never try anything new. We only get one life, so you had best take advantage of it. And of all the amazing things to do and see and experience, I would contend that love is arguably one of the greatest things a person can experience.

If your excuse for not finding love is "I'm afraid of getting hurt", then you're a coward.

But what if having a relationship stops you from trying something new.

*TIME PARADOX*

I've seen this plenty of times, from people who won't further their life because they're too "in love" or because they can't stand having a long term relationship.

 

[ilikepie59]

A poll would make it easier to see how many people think whichever way, but I guess it's too late now.

Personally, I have always been pretty awkward and shy, so no surprise that it hasn't happened by itself. I have asked 3 girls, I have been rejected 3 times. I see a lot of problems that arise from relationships like that, and I feel like weighing up the pros and cons, I have decided to avoid the whole girlfriend thing.

I have plenty of close male and female friends who I really care about and we have great times together. I don't see how kissing, sharing jeans pockets, sex, and whatever else happens with couples could be so great.

 

[IrisEver]

Is it really better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all?

No. It's not better.

 

[Red Bomb]

I have loved and lost and all it did was make me into a hurt, bitter, cynical person. So I would much prefer to not love again. Caring and closeness I can deal with. But I dare not go near that big scary L word again thanks.

 

[Zack Alklazaris]

Its hurts and its filled with regret, but eventually it goes away if you find someone whose better for you. If you don't... well I don't ever want to know how that feels.

 

[FunKing]

dont really know how it works here...loved a woman..still do...i moved, she was supposed to come w/, last minute decided not to...months go by, pregnant w/ my child, we lose touch beforehand...woman gets in touch w/ me, and the daughter is 12years old and was adopted by a great family...we both loved each other and never told one another....i was gonna ask her to marry me....just recently? she wants to meet me to give me photos of our daughter, and says she has always tried to find a clone of me w/ every guy shes been w/since then...now i have to meet her alone...meanwhile shes engaged and has a son w/ said man, and has told me she isnt going to be able to keep her hands off me...(hes seems like a cool guy and as much as i love her still, i couldnt do it)..i'm just there for pics of our daughter....so really...let me ask a question...does it really matter...love...not loved....what fucking difference does it make?

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Better to have loved and kept, but loved and lost is still better than never loved at all.

Anyone who says it isn't hasn't a frame of reference.

 

[Dr. Crawver]

it really comes down to just how attached to you. When my ex cheated on me, it asolutely shattered my soul, and took about 2 years to recover. Not sure I could say that was worth it tbh

 

[Holy_Hotdog]

never loving at all is a sad thing but the heart is a hard thing to deal with untill it can be made unbrakeable.

thats somthing that no person should have to do (let alone think about). but love is somthing that can make you smile,make you happy,that can lift your spirt in the hardest of times but when it is broken even the strongest heart will be broken and never loving at all can keep you from the pain but stops the happyness.

and it's somthing even I find hard to think about.

 

[Scarim Coral]

In my opinion I would rather felt love even if it leads to me losing it then to never experience it at all.
Yeah I'm lonely and single so the idea of being in love and in a relationship has always been a "what if" scenario that I sometime wonder.
Two of my friends however say otherwise (they had fall in love but broke up which resulted to the two becoming temporary bitter). Those two had always told me to never seek out love but I had always disagreed with them.
I always view to have never been in loved to be a bleak and lonely existence (we all need love in our lives).
Sure the same will happen to me but I would like to think during my saddest time, I would look back at the fond memories and cherish it.

 

[shadow_Fox81]

well a school of pains and troubles is to school an inteligence and make it a soul.

loss is one of these pains, our loved ones cannot be gripped too tightly they will inevitably leave via their own volition, nature or chance.
But the truth of this inevitably enriches the love i have and have lost and the love i will never have.

but love is my religion- i would die for it

 

[spartan231490]

I think so. but I'm in the never have loved category. I just think it must be better because at least you have the memories to look back on and to feel good about. When you've never loved, you've got nothing.