Is it really better to have loved and lost?

[phylline]

My best friend died via suicide a few years back. Since then I'm not quite sure how to distinguish between love and infatuation.

So I'll say 50/50 as I'm not sure, I think it's different for each person, and people are irrational anyway. Interests invoke a more passionate and devoted 'love' for me than a person.

 

[AbstractStream]

I'd say yeah. But at the moment that you do "lose" love, you feel like an idiot for saying it's better to have lost and probably want to tear your place up.

 

[Insideout Ink Demon]

i think its important to live a life full of experiences, so yoes i agree, better to have loved and lost

 

[ZippyDSMlee]

Not knowing leaves you weak and naive. That which dose not kill you makes you stronger and kinder unless your stay a jerk.

 

[elbrandino]

I'd say it's better to have loved and lost. If someone makes you happy, even if it's for a short time, that's still better than just being miserable all the time. That's what my experience has been.

 

[Knight Captain Kerr]

Better a broken heart than no heart at all. If you once felt that good then you can feel that good again.

 

[SilentCom]

Would you rather have memories of loved ones despite the pain of loss, and prospect of finding new love or carry on with the rest of your life in loneliness?

 

[Simon Pettersson]

No not really ignorance is bliss.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

I really don't think it is. The pains of being alone aren't as bad as the pains of being alone and missing something you used to have. Especially if you're not angry with your ex-partner, missing a past relationship is pretty bloody terrible. I wouldn't say you should avoid relationships for fear of getting hurt, but looking back everything seems pretty bleak.

 

[HardkorSB]

Hello Escapist! I have been thinking about this for a while and wanted to know what you guys thought. Is it really better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all? I personally believe if you`ve never experienced love then you dont know what your missing as apposed to having had love and then knowing what you`ve lost. What are your thoughts on the matter?

That depends. If you're an emotional weakling that might commit suicide because nobody understands you in high school, it's better not to experience it.
However, if you're mentally healthy, it's actually better to experience love and its' loss. Like any new experience, it will only expand your worldview and builds your character.
All that talk about the "one true love" is bull shit. Nobody is perfect for you but many people are good, even great for you. One got away? Well, there's a few billion more to check out.

 

[SonicKoala]

Yes, it is. If you disagree, then you're probably one of those people who is content to lock themselves away from the world and never try anything new. We only get one life, so you had best take advantage of it. And of all the amazing things to do and see and experience, I would contend that love is arguably one of the greatest things a person can experience.

If your excuse for not finding love is "I'm afraid of getting hurt", then you're a coward.

But what if having a relationship stops you from trying something new.

*TIME PARADOX*

I've seen this plenty of times, from people who won't further their life because they're too "in love" or because they can't stand having a long term relationship.

Well, for want of more specific examples which may present an exception to what I'm about to say, I'm of the opinion that a healthy relationship should never hinder an individual in terms of limiting what they feel they can do with their life. Individuals in a loving relationship should always encourage and support their significant other in whatever endeavors they choose to pursue. That being said, relationships are always going to require a certain degree of sacrifice - when that time (or times) comes, it is up to the individual parties whether they are willing to make those sacrifices, and whether or not they consider their relationship something which is valuable enough to justify sacrifice.

I'm a little confused by the last part of your comment - you know people who won't further their life because they can't stand having a long term relationship? I'm afraid I don't quite understand what you mean by that - care to clarify?

Having said all that, I still don't see the possible limitations a relationship may or may not impose on an individual as being justification for never seeking out a relationship in the first place. Moreover, if one's relationship does become too limiting or constraining, then it would probably be best they end it. Although that relationship ended poorly, the huge array of positive, valuable,enlightening, and worthwhile experiences one (hopefully) had while in that relationship ultimately makes the entire experience worthwhile ('Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind' summed this idea up quite nicely). Hence, "it's better to have loved and lost".

 

[llew]

From my personal experience, never having loved comes with (for males at least) a significant amount of anxiety and shame as well as the depression.

well i have to say ive never had a girlfriend (17 by the way, call me sad all you want) and im doing just fine, could not give a toot about being loved as long as i have things to do and stuff to occupy myself (which i always do, very imaginative)

 

[Soviet Steve]

well i have to say ive never had a girlfriend (17 by the way, call me sad all you want) and im doing just fine, could not give a toot about being loved as long as i have things to do and stuff to occupy myself (which i always do, very imaginative)

It's fine dude and I'm not saying there's no exceptions. It was just my personal experience for a while.

 

[trouble_gum]

"It is better to have loved and to have lost, than to listen to an album by Olivia Newton-John."

Pearls of wisdom from a computer with an IQ of 6000.

 

[ilikepie59]

A poll would make it easier to see how many people think whichever way, but I guess it's too late now.

Personally, I have always been pretty awkward and shy, so no surprise that it hasn't happened by itself. I have asked 3 girls, I have been rejected 3 times. I see a lot of problems that arise from relationships like that, and I feel like weighing up the pros and cons, I have decided to avoid the whole girlfriend thing.

I have plenty of close male and female friends who I really care about and we have great times together. I don't see how kissing, sharing jeans pockets, sex, and whatever else happens with couples could be so great.

For your sake I hope your birthday in your profile is fake. It would be a shame to go through your entire life like that.

Trust me, you are missing out.

It is fake, I'm 20. I still don't see why it would be so bad if it was true though.

 

[Gloomsta]

Hello Escapist! I have been thinking about this for a while and wanted to know what you guys thought. Is it really better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all? I personally believe if you`ve never experienced love then you dont know what your missing as apposed to having had love and then knowing what you`ve lost. What are your thoughts on the matter?

If you seek to shield yourself away from pain, then you will not experience life fully, it is a weak attitude that sets you up for boredom.

Without pain, there is no happiness.