Is it that hard to find a virgin?

[Blaster395]

Why do some people treat virginity like its currency?

 

[Firebert]

Because it can't be replaced?

It'd be hard to find someone who's never had a few drinks, though, especially in college.

 

[CrimsonBlaze]

So I have this thing about dating where I won't date anyone who has had sex with another man or who smokes and/or does drugs. Call me old school or call me weird, but it is just part of my moral system. And today, during my sociology class, we got on the topic of sex and dating. I told the class my stand on such and they all chuckled. When I ask what was funny, someone told me that the chance of finding a girl like that now-a-days is almost impossible and that I should just give up on it. And it hit me, every person in my class, which ranged from 9th grade to 12th grade, that everyone had drank beer illegally, smoked pot and chewed, or has had sex multiple times... except me. I could not believe it and even my teacher was not shocked in the least to hear that. He was actually agreeing with it. So basically, what I am as is, are there people who didn't illegally drink, smoke or who hadn't had sex during their high school years?

Edit: Since some one asked, I am from the west coast of the U.S. in Washington.

Edit II: As Azure-Supernova stated:

You're not after a virgin you're after someone responsible and faithful. You could meet a virgin and full well have glorious sex, only for her to turn around and cheat or not be a virgin at all. Surely virginity would fall behind the two afforementioned traits?

I suppose he's definition is a little more what I am looking for. I guess I could drop the virginity issue down a little if I could find faithful and responsible girl. I am still standing strong on not doing illegal drugs and drinking but I could give more leeway on virginity.

Well it's not like there AREN'T any pure virgins out there in the world, but in a more urban setting, where the media has an effect on its audience, more people are willing to be open to activities like sex, drinking, and smoking with less concern than a few decades ago. Morals are often compromised for pleasure or peer-pressure, and as a society, we have just been more tolerable of such actions.

I would just advise you to not compromise your morals if they are important to you. Still, being a little open with other's preferences wouldn't hurt either. As people, we rarely end up with our "ideal" partner, and just worry about being happy together with those that we care about.

 

[Geeky Anomaly]

Although I admire and respect your personal code; I think that waiting until you find a virgin is a big stretch that might leave you unhappy. Because as you get older, let's be honest, the virgins that exist are going to get progressively stranger and stranger. To the point where the woman is either a complete social reject(because of looks or personality), or she's going to be a monsterous prude. And I'm not talking delightfully quirky like Amy Farefowler on Big Bang Theory...I mean frickin' weird and socially awkward...weird to the point that no one wants to be around her. And the trust me man...prudes are no fun, prudish women are the WORST.

I took a different approach though, and it worked. I finished with my life, school, college, job etc. Now I'm 26. Dating a 18 or 19 is awesome when you're my age; and the odds of finding a virgin in the 18~19 bracket are way better than in the 23~27 bracket.

 

[6SteW6]

While I understand the drugs and smoking as a moral/health thing, I don't understand where the virginity thing falls on your moral compass? Are you the jealous type? Can you not bear to be with someone who has a history of lovers? Is it a cleanliness thing? Because sure there might be a few risks but that's nothing a couple of tests or the necessary precautions won't take care of.

Does it take them off the table completely? What if you love everything else about them? I say that's taking it a bit far. When I got married I was surprised to find my wife was a virgin, I never asked, or really thought about it at all, I just happened to love her very much. I think your standards are set a bit high.

Just remember having sex young doesn't make a person irresponsible/ignorant. It's when irresponsible/ignorant people have sex young that's the problem.

 

[James Oden]

Honestly I think this almost comes down to a case of instinct merged with society. Males want to be alpha, so they desire a mate that hasn't been with another male. Due to society, they also tend to apply this rule to themselves, meaning not being with a female partner. All in all, honestly, the stress cause by trying to adhere to something that is against our own nature are a complex animal is dangerous. And I'm not talking just sex here, I'm talking overall. Sure, some instinctual responses are best left untouched, but seeking a mate is not one of them, and judging a potential mate by whether or not they have had a mate in the past is not the way to go either. If she is fit, mentally and physically, in terms of what you desire in a woman, then by all means, try to be happy and ignore her faults.

Wow... not is flowing as i would have liked... this is what I get for trying to post while tired.

Just remember that a good personality and self control should in all cases trump whether or not she is a virgin or has drank a little in the past or tried drugs in the past. And if you care about her and she is using, try to get her some help. Obviously, the "she" in this situation is hypothetical, but I hope I have properly conveyed what I mean.

 

[DracoSuave]

Also, if one person really desires sex that much to be willing to bang someone else, then clearly as I have stated, they desire sex more than being committed to their partner.

Logical fallacy.

If Person A is oversexed, and seeks to fulfill his sexual needs with someone other than Person B, and Person B has established themselves as not interested in sexual needs, is it not hypocritical to say that only Person A has broken the commitment?

If Person B wants to hold Person B to a sexual commitment, then does it not work both ways? Is not Person B's lack of 'putting out' as much a breaking of the sexual commitment as Person A's seeking 'dinner elsewhere?'

Are not both parties equally at fault? And if that's the case, does the sexual commitment exist in the first place?

The reality is, this causes a LOT of friction in couples that otherwise love each other, and while some people (such as yourself: "desire sex more than commitment" but not "desire chastity more than commitment") are quick to lay the blame on the oversexed member, the fact is it is simply because two people are out of wavelength on the sex.

And what you overlook is that the sex IS the point behind the evolution of the male/female dynamic. Which is why it's so central and important, and why it must be addressed before making such commitments. Is sex a part of the commitment or not? How is it in there? What happens if one strays?

This is why, ideally, you want someone whose in your same ballpark libido-wise. If you're a randy andy, seek out a greedy gretchen. If you're a prudy sue, seek out a no-sexed ned. Or whatever. Sexual compatibility is an important part of any long-term sexual relationship.

 

[someonehairy-ish]

I think sex is dirty.

Can I just ask why? Because you touch another person? Or... what?

Never really understood this idea. Its not like people somehow become contaminated- except in the very literal sense of STIs, but those shouldn't really be a problem if this hypothetical mate is sensible.

 

[Harlief]

The whole finding a virgin thing is weird and a little naive. All my lady-friends tell me that losing their hymen was a physically painful experience; personally, I don't like the thought of inflicting pain during sex.

 

[quantumsoul]

There's plenty. You're more likely to find them among religious, shy or unattractive women but even those aren't guarantees.

Just look for a good person that you're compatible with. That's much harder to find than any virgin.

 

[Techno Squidgy]

Op, I thin you need to be a little more open minded. You're going to have a hard time finding someone that matches your criteria, as most people will have experimented with sex, drugs and alcohol. In my opinion, it's a waste to not at least try the safer stuff. Even if you only try it once you could have a fantastic experience. However, it's your life to live and your choices. I wish you the best of luck.

 

[CosmicCommander]

Firstly:

HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA

Sociology.

OT: It's hard to find women who have any sort of moral backbone these days, I'll give you that. Although men tend to be more likely to be "late bloomers" than women, an overwhelming majority of guys by the time they reach eighteen have done the deed. I'd say it's pretty abhorrent, but it's their problem, not mine.

But no, I'd say there is SOMEONE on the planet who meets your criteria. The big ***** is trying to find them and persuade them. Hypnol usually works well, but apparently some high and mighty legislators have decided it's illegal. Fools.

 

[smurf_you]

I lost my virginity at 16, I didn't drink, but mostly cause I hated it at the time, I enjoy it now though since I feel like I don't need to mother everyone I'm around anymore. I smoke weed occasionally, but I never wanted to in school, and I can't smoke cigarets cause it gives me like bronchitis or something. So there ya go, I was pretty straight edge except for the sex thing.

 

[Torrasque]

So I have this thing about dating where I won't date anyone who has had sex with another man or who smokes and/or does drugs. Call me old school or call me weird, but it is just part of my moral system. And today, during my sociology class, we got on the topic of sex and dating. I told the class my stand on such and they all chuckled. When I ask what was funny, someone told me that the chance of finding a girl like that now-a-days is almost impossible and that I should just give up on it. And it hit me, every person in my class, which ranged from 9th grade to 12th grade, that everyone had drank beer illegally, smoked pot and chewed, or has had sex multiple times... except me. I could not believe it and even my teacher was not shocked in the least to hear that. He was actually agreeing with it. So basically, what I am as is, are there people who didn't illegally drink, smoke or who hadn't had sex during their high school years?

Edit: Since some one asked, I am from the west coast of the U.S. in Washington.

Edit II: As Azure-Supernova stated:

You're not after a virgin you're after someone responsible and faithful. You could meet a virgin and full well have glorious sex, only for her to turn around and cheat or not be a virgin at all. Surely virginity would fall behind the two afforementioned traits?

I suppose he's definition is a little more what I am looking for. I guess I could drop the virginity issue down a little if I could find faithful and responsible girl. I am still standing strong on not doing illegal drugs and drinking but I could give more leeway on virginity.

This happened in a psych class of mine, where me and one other guy were the only virgins.
I don't understand the societal stigma about being a virgin, it just means I don't have reckless sex with strangers, and have not dated someone I trust with that. I'd rather be a virgin than run out of fingers to count my sexual partners like some people I know.
I like what Azure-Supernova said, thats pretty much what I'm looking for. I thought I was looking for a virgin, but realized I wasn't. For example, there have been several girls I have liked, that I thought were virgins. When I found out they weren't, they got this negative thing added on to them, and I didn't understand why. But I finally realized that it was the fact that they had had sex and it didn't phase them, that bothered me. I don't want to just have sex for the sake of sex, just like I don't say "love" unless I actually mean it.

 

[Veldt Falsetto]

I can't say much about having sex underage but the rest I just didn't do. I had sex at the age of 14 without really wanting to and it's affected all of my relationships since but I never drank or smoked and I've never done drugs, I even rarely drink caffene.

I now drink and I've tried smoking but only because a girl I liked started and I said I would put my body through everything she did once for a reason I can't remember. I didn't enjoy smoking, it was just meh, I don't really enjoy drinking, I hate the taste of alcohol and I don't have sex or relationships anymore so...yeah

 

[Zorak the Mantis]

23 here and not a virgin myself. I tend to take sex fairly seriously, but I certainly don't consider myself prude. Much to my surprise I have found a great girl who is a virgin, and to be honest, there aren't many people who wait to have sex now a days. So I was intrigued when she told me at first, assuming it was social anxiety or nerves. But she has expressed to me that she is waiting for a special moment before going all the way, hoping to create a memory that she will cherish and not regret. To be honest I quite admire her fidelity to that idea. I just hope that if I am the "chosen one" for her first time that I can deliver an experience worth her wait.

 

[Byzantinium]

I need a virgin girl because I'm terrified I won't live up to her previous partners when I inevitably embarrass myself during sex.

Of course I'm joking.

Aha aha ha...ha...


*puts gun to head*