Is it that hard to find a virgin?

[DeleteThisAcc]

Very good example. Yet most of non-virgins lost their virginity in sex "for fun". And they did not do that once or twice. What that means? Such wife will most likely have sex with other men when you are not around, just for fun.

Consider the person AND the history. Because history says a lot about person.

What misogynistic nonsense.

Has it occured to you that maybe, because she enjoys sex... she might enjoy having lots of sex with you!?!

See... here's the thing with good, enjoyable sex... it's creates endorphins, and dopamine. Bother of which cause you to get a rush of contented happiness... an evolved reaction designed to make you want to be with a person more.

If you're married, and having great sex with your partner, that's AWESOME. That's why virginity is overrated. Great sex is great sex, and you kinda need that in a monogamous marriage.

Yes she "will enjoy sex with me" and my neighbor while I am at work.

and "If you're married, and having great sex with your partner, that's AWESOME. That's why virginity is overrated. " WHAT?! OBVIOUSLY EVERYONE HAS SEX AFTER MARRIAGE. But I don't need wife that had sex with half of the damn city I live in.

 

[DeleteThisAcc]

Very good example. Yet most of non-virgins lost their virginity in sex "for fun". And they did not do that once or twice. What that means? Such wife will most likely have sex with other men when you are not around, just for fun.

Consider the person AND the history. Because history says a lot about person.

I'd have to wonder where you get this information about how "most" non-virgins lose their virginity. It's just that it assumes a lot about the character of a person you've never met. You're hanging a lot on what may have simply been one bad decision.

Someone could similarly say, "Any guy that has ever intentionally looked at pictures of scantily-clad women is going to cheat on his wife with the first underwear model to get within arms' reach." It's ridiculous to assume that, and it's not a logical conclusion.

1. You assume she must have had sex lightly, flippantly, "just for fun." Perhaps she had very real feelings, or feelings that she truly believed were real. Perhaps she was raped, heaven forbid. Perhaps she used to be someone who "had sex for fun," but has since decided that's an awful way to live and is living differently now.

2. You assume that, if #1 is true, it also means she must be promiscuous. There's just no chance that she could ever be monogamous? Why not allow for the possibility that she could really, really enjoy sex with her husband and not with others?

3. You assume that, if #1 and #2 are true, it also means she'll be unfaithful to her husband, and that this will always be true. That's a lot to assume all on its own, even if it wasn't based on two other giant assumptions.

Basically, you're asking for a person who has lived a flawless life (or at least has only ever made the mistakes that you approve of). You're assuming anyone who chose to make different mistakes from you must fundamentally be a bad person. And this is, of course, your right -- you can demand what you want from your eventual partner/spouse.

I just think you're cheating yourself out of a whole lot of happiness. And I think it also demonstrates some expectations that may be unfair to your future spouse, even if she does meet your requirements.

I should have stopped reading at "1. You assume she must have had sex lightly, flippantly, "just for fun." Perhaps she had very real feelings" because you did not read what I quoted and agreed with. Also I DID write that I assume she had sex for fun. BECAUSE i agreed with (and quoted) example that dealt with "had serious relation that broke" I obviously continued with "sex for fun" assumption.

"And I think it also demonstrates some expectations that may be unfair to your future spouse, even if she does meet your requirements." no sex with other than me, don't ruin yourself with drugs/alcohol... Yes that IS "unfair" "expectations ".
Why do I even reply to someone that can't read.

 

[Sean Steele]

We gave all the virgins to the Rain God, to you know... get rain. Sorry bro.

 

[SkellgrimOrDave]

You put an almost medieval value on something mostly lost on a drunken night with someone in the friend zone.

There are important things to look for in relationships, but i've always thought looking for an intact hymen wasn't one of them.

 

[DracoSuave]

Yes she "will enjoy sex with me" and my neighbor while I am at work.

No, they sleep with your neighbor because you treat women like whores. For some reason, they get resentful when you do that.

and "If you're married, and having great sex with your partner, that's AWESOME. That's why virginity is overrated. " WHAT?! OBVIOUSLY EVERYONE HAS SEX AFTER MARRIAGE. But I don't need wife that had sex with half of the damn city I live in.

Your words are more telling of your own personal insecurities than anything about what sexually active women actually do.

So, here's the problem with your terrible logic: If a woman having sex makes then into cock-craving whores, then won't your wedding night turn your wife into a cock craving whore? Won't she be out and about looking for dick everywhere she can because you've gone and awoken her hungers?

Don't forget, that first night is going to hurt her. And you did it. Yeah... she's going to resent you, and she's going to want to hurt you back... and so you're going to spend your entire marriage remembering the first time you had sex with your wife... the look on her face... the blood...

And you... this is going to be your first time too, right? (I mean, you're not a hypocritical whore yourself, are you?) You're going to be nervous... impatient, fumbling. Maybe you'll cum early... on her leg. Maybe you won't get it up... but your first time is going to be awkward, and with your insecurity... you'll NEVER live it down. Your first time is going to be terrible... and your attitude will not improve things.

And you're always going to be looking over your shoulder, every man who walks by... is that the one? Is he the one fucking your woman when you're not around?

See, the real problem here is your insecurity and feelings of inadequacy. So, instead of dealing with your own self-hatred, you're projecting it onto other people (namely women). You're not inadequate! So therefore they must all be whores! So of course, you look for a woman who can't POSSIBLY have a basis of comparison, who can't possibly know what men are like...

...but the truth is... she'll eventually see through your bullshit, and your hate. Eventually every little jealous tick you give, every word hissing your lack of trust and companionship... it will ooze out, and eventually that sweet girl you married is going to walk away...

Because you don't rate a girl as 'pure' as you seek.

 

[oktalist]

everyone had drank beer illegally, smoked pot and chewed, or has had sex

Does chew mean something different where you're from? I'm genuinely confused. Surely you're not talking about gum.

Are you sure you've not confused masturbation with mastication?

And how has this thread got to seventeen pages?

 

[Jonluw]

Yes she "will enjoy sex with me" and my neighbor while I am at work.

No, they sleep with your neighbor because you treat women like whores. For some reason, they get resentful when you do that.

and "If you're married, and having great sex with your partner, that's AWESOME. That's why virginity is overrated. " WHAT?! OBVIOUSLY EVERYONE HAS SEX AFTER MARRIAGE. But I don't need wife that had sex with half of the damn city I live in.

Your words are more telling of your own personal insecurities than anything about what sexually active women actually do.

So, here's the problem with your terrible logic: If a woman having sex makes then into cock-craving whores, then won't your wedding night turn your wife into a cock craving whore? Won't she be out and about looking for dick everywhere she can because you've gone and awoken her hungers?

Don't forget, that first night is going to hurt her. And you did it. Yeah... she's going to resent you, and she's going to want to hurt you back... and so you're going to spend your entire marriage remembering the first time you had sex with your wife... the look on her face... the blood...

And you... this is going to be your first time too, right? (I mean, you're not a hypocritical whore yourself, are you?) You're going to be nervous... impatient, fumbling. Maybe you'll cum early... on her leg. Maybe you won't get it up... but your first time is going to be awkward, and with your insecurity... you'll NEVER live it down. Your first time is going to be terrible... and your attitude will not improve things.

And you're always going to be looking over your shoulder, every man who walks by... is that the one? Is he the one fucking your woman when you're not around?

See, the real problem here is your insecurity and feelings of inadequacy. So, instead of dealing with your own self-hatred, you're projecting it onto other people (namely women). You're not inadequate! So therefore they must all be whores! So of course, you look for a woman who can't POSSIBLY have a basis of comparison, who can't possibly know what men are like...

...but the truth is... she'll eventually see through your bullshit, and your hate. Eventually every little jealous tick you give, every word hissing your lack of trust and companionship... it will ooze out, and eventually that sweet girl you married is going to walk away...

Because you don't rate a girl as 'pure' as you seek.

This.
Very much this.

OT: Personally, I think virginity is a profoundly silly criteria to demand in your partners, but whatever floats your boat I guess.

 

[Doc Theta Sigma]

To be honest... As you get older chances are you'll begin to care less and less. Frankly people that don't drink or don't smoke or don't eat unhealthy foods or don't have sex or a combination of all are the most boring people I have ever met. People that don't drink especially. They are dull. Really dull. I'm not a massive drinker... Mostly social occasions. But people that don't drink for moral reasons. I mean really?

 

[Phasmal]

All this virgin stuff is basically just headfuckery.
I lost my virginity to a guy I was in a long term relationship with, had every intention of marrying.
However,it becomes clear we are not meant to be, and our relationship is disintegrating (we were together for two years).
I stayed with him for longer than I should because I was worried about not marrying the first guy I slept with. Well sometimes that first guy turns out to be an arse.
I am so so glad I dont have to worry about that headfuckery any more.
Now I am in a relationship of nearly 3 years (these are the only 2 partners I have ever had so the whole `sex turns women into cock-craving whores` thing is kind of out of the window), and we are perfectly happy. I wasn't a virgin when we met and neither was he- and thats okay. Because people have a past, and if you can't handle that then you honestly dont deserve them.

 

[CODE-D]

All this virgin stuff is basically just headfuckery.
I lost my virginity to a guy I was in a long term relationship with, had every intention of marrying.
However,it becomes clear we are not meant to be, and our relationship is disintegrating (we were together for two years).
I stayed with him for longer than I should because I was worried about not marrying the first guy I slept with. Well sometimes that first guy turns out to be an arse.
I am so so glad I dont have to worry about that headfuckery any more.
Now I am in a relationship of nearly 3 years (these are the only 2 partners I have ever had so the whole `sex turns women into cock-craving whores` thing is kind of out of the window), and we are perfectly happy. I wasn't a virgin when we met and neither was he- and thats okay. Because people have a past, and if you can't handle that then you honestly dont deserve them.

He turned into ass because he got what he wanted. My q is, was he also a virgin and you lost it together?
Second guy worked out because you were both on the same level, both experienced no? and it was more about relationship?
My problem is Im not experienced and want someone like that to share the experience.
Someone with more, I just wouldnt feel comfortable.

 

[aidutcher]

snip

Thanks for the advice. Maybe I'll come across that article in my studies some day.

 

[Phasmal]

He turned into ass because he got what he wanted. My q is, was he also a virgin and you lost it together?
Second guy worked out because you were both on the same level, both experienced no? and it was more about relationship?

Haha, how did I know someone was going to make that argument?
No, he was as obsessed with virgininty back then as I was, we were determined to make it work and marry and all that. And yes, he was a virgin when we met, too. We were always on the same level.
Our break up had nothing to do with sex, everything to do with the fact we were primarily uncompatible- and also WAY too young.
EDIT: I mean too young emotionally, not like minors or anything.

 

[Vankraken]

I didn't do any of those things because I am a gamer. The whole drug/drinking thing to me is pointless because im doing fine without expensive, harmful, and illegal acts so why bother starting? The sex thing wasn't so much by choice but I didn't find a girl I could relate to until college. Then again I'm not the type of person to play the whole dating game to buy / bullshit my way into someones pants. Its been a good 8 years since I was in high school and I wouldn't have done much differently.

Protip: High School kids think they are living the most important time of there life until they hit college/work force and realize that all there petty problems are bullshit and hollow. (not being cynical, just honest)

Edit: Who cares if somebody is a virgin as long as they aren't a slut. Someone who isn't a virgin because they were in a 1+ year relationship is different than somebody who has sex after 3 dates or after getting some jewelry. The quality of a person's character is far more important than if they are a virgin or not. (avoid labeling people it only causes problems. Yes i labeled myself as a gamer in the beginning of this but i can label myself whatever the fuck i want cause its me )

you do realize that you just labelled someone who has sex after 3 dates a slut 2 lines before saying that labeling was a bad thing...

I didn't label them a slut, you did. I'm talking about the weight of somebodies values and what that means to you. If 3 dates before sex is fine with you then go for it but to the OP they value meaningful sex highly so 3 dates is not something they are going to be ok with.

 

[Char-Nobyl]

I truly question your reading comprehension. I'm not talking about MYSELF having sex with freshmen here. Besides, the law has nothing to do with this, since some states have exemptions in the law making sex among minors legal if they're within several years of each other.

Right, look at it this way: you were ~16, and unsettled by the idea of an 18 year old guy with a 14 year old girl. That's fine. But that opinion is only supposed to change in the sense that among older people, a four year difference doesn't matter much. It's not supposed to make a highschool senior dating a girl a couple months out of the eighth grade retroactively non-creepy.

Regarding fat chicks, again, maybe you should learn to read before posting an attack on it.

Funny, that: the more you clarify, the more I'm convinced that I simply didn't fathom how disturbing the previous posts were.

I contend that, as long as I make it clear that I'm not in it for a relationship, there is nothing wrong with casual sex, and I would like to experience said casual sex with a wide variety of people.

Jesus Christ. You've managed to make casual sex sound like it requires a checklist.

And at any rate, do you see anything at all potentially wrong with telling a girl, "I want to fuck you because you're fat, and then I'm leaving"? Especially with this case, you're looking to screw someone with something that's likely a source of insecurity solely because of that thing. That's only a few steps above adding to the list: "Note to self: sleep with a girl who says I remind her of her deceased father."

Look, man, even with casual sex, you should only be there if you actually have interest in what's happening. And I don't mean romantic interest, just an interest that's stronger than "I've never done this before." I've never had sex with an amputee, but I'm not going to do it simply because I've never done it before.

This includes fat chicks, skinny chicks, tall chicks, black chicks, what-have-you. There is nothing wrong about wanting casual sex, nor is there anything wrong with wanting to explore and experiment with people of a diverse background.

I don't consider myself prudish. But this...it isn't anything like promiscuity. This is the most cold and clinical approach to sex I've ever heard. This is "sexual experimentation" in the most horrifying and literal sense of the term.

Now, apparently I have to reiterate this since you didn't read it the first several times, but I IN NO WAY SAID THAT I WAS LOOKING TO HAVE SEX WITH A 14 YEAR OLD.

But you somehow now approve of sex with 14 year olds by 18 year olds, despite disapproving of it when you were younger. As far as getting lessons completely wrong, it's like reading "Little Red Riding Hood" and learning that even if you're almost suicidally immune to obvious visual clues, a burly woodsman will rescue you from your own stupidity.

I would like to, if possible, have sex with a virgin, like with the fat chick, etc.

*sigh* Alright, let me try and make my point clear: you're targeting an unrealistic demographic. Maybe you had a shot at it in highschool, but you're halfway through college, and by now, it's practically out of the question.

I won't deny that there aren't still virgins, quite the contrary. It's just that by college, the overwhelming majority of them will either be A) saving themselves for marriage, so sex is out of the question or B) not necessarily saving it for marriage, but have held off this long and probably won't have sex with a guy who outright says he only wants to deflower them.

Think about it: how many girls are there willing to have casual, one-night sex with a guy who only wants her because she a virgin? I'll tell you where most of them are: freshman and sophomore year of highschool.

Additionally, I AM NOT SEEKING OUT THESE PARTNERS. There is a massive difference, and if you understood the English language or at least read my other posts you would see this, between "I prefer virgins" or "I seek out virgins" and "I'd like to have sex with, among other groups, a virgin someday."

...what? How does that match with your previous statements? Ones made in this same post, no less? The ones about telling people beforehand that you have no intention of starting any sort of relationship besides a one-night stand? Do you make this proposition as soon as you meet them, or do you bring it up at a later date? "Hey, I can't help but notice that you're black/fat/a virgin...I've always wanted to fuck one of those. Want to help me out?"

Are you ready to stop throwing ad hominems and other fallacies around?

Maybe you're looking at a different definition of ad hominem, but I don't think it means what you think it does.

An ad hominem argument is one that calls your claims into question using an assertion unrelated to the issue at hand. For instance, if I called your opinions on this matter into question on the basis that you had massive credit card debt, that would be an ad hominem argument. Whether or not you're financially responsible is completely irrelevant to this issue.

Though you mention that I'm guilty of using other fallacies, in addition to your (completely incorrect) assertion that I was resorting to ad hominem. Any chance you could list a few of them?

 

[WOPR]

Edit: Since some one asked, I am from the west coast of the U.S. in Washington.

Yes there are still people like that, they're just hard to find because no one sees them because they're kinda hide'y
I'm 19 and just got my first girlfriend (she just turned 21) and neither of us has done any of that stuff (or at least I'm pretty sure she hasn't). She's sweet and kind, I'm unstable and psychotic, perfect balance!

Plus I know loads of girls who fit the description too... course I know a lot that did pot and/or drank too...

I'd personally say it's about 75%/25% if you know where to look
now finding a girl that's never even been kissed and has never done any of that illegal stuff you listed, that's pretty impossible to find after middle school

So as much as it seems like there's no one left like that, there is, just in todays society no one wants to admit such a thing...

 

[Assassinscreed548]

This thread is creepy man, what you described yourself to be is kinda unreal. I really wanna tolerate and all that, but I fucking can't take you seriously. Being a human being is about making mistakes, learning from them, evolving and progressing. If you shut off any fucking person that doesn't match your completely irrational statistics, good luck finding a girl. As many have stated, how does her being a virgin matter? Do you think that by having fucked another guy her innocence is completely gone? That she is not worthy of your presence? Join a damn bible group or something, maybe then you'll find someone to your liking. Sometimes I feel like I don't fit in with this group of all tolerating people like the rest of you

Edit: As for the alcohol or drugs part, people need that too! It's part of being social at younger ages, getting your youthful energy ( which you clearly lack) out, and not giving a shit about the consequences. With that come the decisions to explore your sexuality, also in order to achieve the personal evolution each person is striving for. OP, I really hope this thread changes your thinking, cause... good luck to you if it doesn't, you're gonna end up going insane, my man.

 

[iRevanchist]

you are most definitely not alone. i'm a chick with a similar moral standing, and I have plenty of girl-friends who share the same values. And before you ask, no, most of them are not fundamentalist christians. in fact, it's a lot harder for a girl to find a guy of the same moral standing. considering you're looking for a girl, this should be easier for you.
good luck!

 

[Mad World]

again I want to ask the same question I did before

why is the act of sex imoral? am I somehow more "moral" because ive never had sex? if I do have sex will I lose some kind of "purity" that Ill never get back?

anyway Im surprised at the mount of "moral" people here

I dont drink much or do drugs...mainly because I dotn care for that kind of crap and never had the chance anyway

BUT Im not about to pretend Im any more morally rightious than others, I self indulge just as bad if nto worse (on videogames and caffine)

I doubt I'd be able to sway anyone's opinion, so I won't bother trying to.

Personally, I believe that it's immoral because it goes against Christianity. I understand why it is, though... when I marry someone, I would MUCH prefer them to have never had sex before. Can you honestly say that you're not the same?

Sex is something that is supposed to be special. Well, that's what I think, anyway.