Is it wrong in wanting to be alone?

[Free Thinker]

Okay, right now, I have just come back from a 5 day vacation with relatives. Normally, I would be fine and happy to just be home. Sadly, we brought my cousin and my brother's girlfriend. My normal time of relaxing has just turned into an extension on the whole relatives thing. I'm just the kind of person who can't constantly socialize or spend time with family. I need my breaks. My parents have a difficult time understanding this. So thus far, I'm suffering from migraines and I'm a little irritable at the moment. It wouldn't be so bad if my cousin wasn't so annoying. He breathes through his mouth and is generally annoying. I'll take any excuse to get out of the house right now.

Now my mother has decided to play the guilt trip routine in order to force me to be part of this, even though I'm clearly agitated and in pain from migraines. There just doesn't seem to be a good way out of this, or any compromise.

 

[Grospoliner]

It's perfectly understandable. What your family needs to do is respect your personal space. Getting them to do this without alienating them is very hard though.

 

[Lord Mountbatten Reborn]

Ew, family.

I see nothing wrong with wanting to get away from relatives. They know just how to irritate you without even trying.

 

[Tuesday Night Fever]

You're not alone, friend.

My dad's side of the family is pretty much the complete stereotype of big Italian families. He's the second oldest of sixteen children from the same marriage. On his side of the family alone I have 48 immediate cousins, with a few more on the way.

I can't stand more than a few hours with the extended family per year. They're nice enough people, don't get me wrong. And trust me, they know how to do a party (one thing about Italian families, you can at the very least count on the food being awesome!). But I just don't do crowds. Big social events wear me down pretty quickly.

While I don't think I really want to be alone, I do place a high degree of value on my personal time. Generally speaking I think I would just like to keep my social interactions limited to just a few people at a time.

 

[Jacco]

When my mom guilt trips me, I just ignore it. I do enough for the family in general that the times i want to do something for me, I feel justified enough.

Don't let them bully you into doing stuff. If you mom guilt trips you, just remember that you spent 5 days with them and that laying down or just chilling for an hour or two is not going to end the world.

 

[shadyh8er]

I totally understand wanting to be alone. And so does Dr. Manhattan!


Seriously though, it's healthy to have some alone time so that you're not overstimulated.

 

[neonsword13-ops]

You and me, we should be brothers, for I understand your pain.

My father is constantly having people over, wether it's for a beer or to chat. He has someone over every second day. So I hate it with a flaming passion. I can't go one day without being bothered? Blasphemy. My mother on the other hand, loves to be alone. So do I. So her house is usually quite most of the time. She rarely has friends over.

So to answer your question, it's perfectly acceptable to want to ignore family and friends for alone time.

 

[manic_depressive13]

I can't stand my family. I've gotten so used to being completely neglected by my mother, that my father, who wants to be more involved in my life, comes across as smothering and annoying. It doesn't help that he's a sexist, right-wing prick. I feel absolutely no obligation towards anyone in my family, so I don't feel guilty avoiding them anymore. I like to think I'm a reasonable person, but they just make me lose my shit. I wouldn't hang around them for more than 15 minutes a day if they payed me.

 

[Last Hugh Alive]

Everyone has moments like these I'm pretty sure. I've had times where I've gotten agitated just by being around certain friends or family at a certain time. You've got migranes so that's perfectly understandable, but yes sometimes it is nice just to be alone.

 

[barbzilla]

Okay, right now, I have just come back from a 5 day vacation with relatives. Normally, I would be fine and happy to just be home. Sadly, we brought my cousin and my brother's girlfriend. My normal time of relaxing has just turned into an extension on the whole relatives thing. I'm just the kind of person who can't constantly socialize or spend time with family. I need my breaks. My parents have a difficult time understanding this. So thus far, I'm suffering from migraines and I'm a little irritable at the moment. It wouldn't be so bad if my cousin wasn't so annoying. He breathes through his mouth and is generally annoying. I'll take any excuse to get out of the house right now.

Now my mother has decided to play the guilt trip routine in order to force me to be part of this, even though I'm clearly agitated and in pain from migraines. There just doesn't seem to be a good way out of this, or any compromise.

I think I would just tell them that I don't feel well and go for a drive down to the local drug store to get some migraine medicine. Drive around for a bit and cool off, then go back and make your appearance. Family is important, but you don't have to be around them the whole time they are there.

 

[ruben6f]

I love being alone, peace and silence are great companions, they don't annoy you, judge you and they are always there for you.
I know I sound creepy but I hate people and peace and silence are not people so I love them.

And it's normal, being alone is good, it gives you some time to think and just relax.

 

[Viral_Lola]

No, that's perfectly normal. My mother is the typical Asian tiger mom, and I swear, I like her better when I see her less. (Maybe that's why I'm planning to move to another country.)

 

[Dyme]

I live 500km away from my family since 4 months, and now they want me to visit them, but it is SO expensive and I don't actually want it. I never really disliked my family, I would love to see my brother again but somehow it is not worth the money in my opinion.
It would be one months worth of income to see them a few days.
Those will be days without computer, which means, I won't know what to do, which means I'll probably be bored or party, and both of those options make me sad most of the time.
I am just soo happy alone, it can only get worse. I wish I had gone to a University farther away, so I'd be unable to visit them, but sadly Germany isn't big enough.


Reading this thread, you can easily tell it is normal to some degree to want to be alone.

 

[thiosk]

There is a fine line between being conveniently absent and antisocial.

As long as you don't cross that line, its a-ok.

I don't want to hang out with an idiot mouth breather either.

 

[NinjaDeathSlap]

There's nothing wrong with needing some space every now and then, nothing wrong with that at all. However, be careful you don't shut them out completely. Like it or not your family are important and sometimes to make them happy you have to just realise that it's not always about what you want, suck it up and join in.

 

[spartan231490]

Okay, right now, I have just come back from a 5 day vacation with relatives. Normally, I would be fine and happy to just be home. Sadly, we brought my cousin and my brother's girlfriend. My normal time of relaxing has just turned into an extension on the whole relatives thing. I'm just the kind of person who can't constantly socialize or spend time with family. I need my breaks. My parents have a difficult time understanding this. So thus far, I'm suffering from migraines and I'm a little irritable at the moment. It wouldn't be so bad if my cousin wasn't so annoying. He breathes through his mouth and is generally annoying. I'll take any excuse to get out of the house right now.

Now my mother has decided to play the guilt trip routine in order to force me to be part of this, even though I'm clearly agitated and in pain from migraines. There just doesn't seem to be a good way out of this, or any compromise.

I can't handle constant companionship either. Go for a walk or something dude. It doesn't matter if ur mom guilts you into anything, you have to take care of yourself first.

 

[game-lover]

Hell no! I love being alone. I need my me time.

We're not a close family. I don't get along with my sibs that well that I can enjoy talking to people and such and such. My mom appears to sorta understand but she doesn't seem to be all that accepting.

I don't get the guilt trip so much as the dictatorship at times.

 

[Brusveen]

I get you mate I have a similar situation with my roomate. Although I enjoy her company alot I still need some personal space now and again. What I tend to do is just to go out for a day and be by myself for the whole day, do things like reading, working out, listening to music or just relaxing. And the key is doing it outside the house, go to a park or some other place where you can be undisturbed and you'll see how rejuvenating it is. Good luck!