Is it wrong to not care?

[Yopaz]

We all deal with these things differently, it's not like you can help it so there's no reason you should feel bad about not feeling bad. It is kinda odd though, but it's who you are. If you pretended to feel sad then that would be a lot worse.

 

[Westaway]

Same thing with me, after my parents got devirced and I moved across country. I asked myself the same question, but decided I just have grit

 

[Robert Ewing]

I think it's really selfish for people to expect you to care. A person shouldn't have a constant burden to respect something that they have little to do with. It's like a constant itch that will never, ever go away.

Because even if you do genuinely care, it's never another. It's the hole 'give the man a penny, and he'll still steal your wallet' argument.

 

[rabidmidget]

There is no right way to grieve, you can't control how you feel.

 

[Trippy Turtle]

I was sad at my grandfathers funeral but other then that I was fine. I'm not sure how I will be with my grandma though because I really really don't like her.

 

[Semudara]

Well, I guess you ought to be a little sad, at least in empathy for your parents. But there's nothing wrong with having accepted this natural turn of events, and grief is only temporary anyway. It helps if you felt you spent enough time with them, and thus, have no regrets.

 

[JemothSkarii]

I'm generally more sad about people that aren't family rather than those who are. For example, when my Grandma on my father's side died, I didn't really feel anything. But when one of our family's friend's father's died, I was deeply affected, probably ebcause I felt mroe of a kinship with him than my grandma.

that said, the two most crushing deaths I've experienced was my mother's father (partially because I hadn't seen him at the last chance I had because I wanted to stay home and have fun...I was 12 at the time...thought I'd see him again) and a family friend's dog (my very first friend EVER)

EDIT: and thus my reaction to this has made me the devil, according to my post count

 

[Zeckt]

When both my grandparents died of old age I felt happy they had such long and good lives. What is there to be upset about? accusing the OP for someone dying naturally of being a psychopath is ridiculous and you should be ashamed for even saying that.

Going to edit this : I guess theres a difference celebrating a good long life and not caring at all now that I think about it.

 

[5t3v0]

One theory here is that if you had a good relationship with them maybe its that you had nothing that you regret, whereas the guy who had a bad relationship had some possible regrets.

All wild mass guessing here, just a theory.

 

[Ytomyth]

I'd say you're growing up. Sure death can be nasty....you wont be able to speak to/see/touch that person again. But it's not the drama-fest that humanity (in general) has made it to be.

Same here, 3 of my family members had past away in 1 month time (they weren't -that- old or sick) and it didn't really hit me as much as I thought it would. It's only good imo, life is for the living.

 

[Schlen]

My grandfather (dads side), whom I was quite close with died about 9 months ago and I continued along as nothing had happened. Worth to mention in this is, I did cry at his funeral but he had struggled with cancer for about 3,5- 4 years.

Other than that rabidmiget sums it up quite well

 

[Conn1496]

There's always a strong one when it comes to death.
Just because you didn't care about someone's death, doesn't mean you didn't care about their life...
...Some people are just used to this stuff.

 

[TheRundownRabbit]

You can't control that so your not at fault. Plus, a death like that (death of a grandparent or Aunt/Uncle) doesn't really take an immediate toll on some people, you start feeling it over a long period of time.

Or maybe, as children we all feared and upset ourselves a lot at the thought of a family member dying that we got it out of our system early and had already accepted it as an inevitability.

 

[AwkwardTurtle]

You sound perfectly fine to me. Whether you feel something or not is just how you react. It's a simple fact of life that, people die. I know some people find this sad. I don't find it particularly sad myself. To each her own.

Also, just because I'm learning it in school. The world seems to be indifferent to our existence, so I think it's perfectly fine to have the same attitude of indifference. I don't really get why human society dictates that an emotional response to such events as death as "normal" while an indifference to a family member dying is looked at as "weird" or "uncaring". Humans seem to be the only ones who can perceive an absence of something and then label it. Fun stuff.

 

[Vicarious Reality]

I only cried for like 10 seconds when we buried grandpa
And that was probably because everyone else was crying
Grandpa had been practically dead as far as i know for years, laying in his bed or couch all day staring at the ceiling but still able to walk around.

He was rather fun when i was little though.

 

[manic_depressive13]

It's perfectly normal. You cared about them while they lived, and it's not as though you wanted them to die. You're just able to accept that people die and, for want of a better term, there's no use crying over spilt milk. I was the same as you when my grandfather died. He used to live with us. He basically raised me, and I definitely loved him the most out of everyone I've met to this day. When he died I didn't react in the conventional way. I just continued as normal. However, if you don't find yourself carrying on and occasionally bursting into uncontrollable tears, suddenly you're an asshole, or a psychopath, or autistic, or angsty, or you're still in shock and the tears will come later. It's all nonsense. It's possible to have loved someone in life and also be able to accept their death without a massive fuss.