Is it wrong to not want children?
- Thread starter ThatPurpleGuy
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When I'm in public, it's all I can do to restrain myself from smaking other people's children. Even if I wanted any in the future, it's best I not bother.
Kids are an argument for the use of prophylactics and for federally mandated vasectomies for men whom we as a society really do not want reproducing. Yes yes, kids are cute little buttons for the first few years, but then they start getting snippy and arrogant (hmm, sounds like me when I was younger) and into their teen years you try to teach them right from wrong as it starts to apply to them only to be told 'go fuck yourself mom/dad.' My main problem is, unless you can use some kind of physical punishment on them from time to time, children grow up to be disrespectful, untrustworthy brats. Of course, I wasn't spanked hardly at all as a child, but my father could be a very scary man when he wanted to be, so the threat alone was enough. That, and when I started gaining more freedoms, my parents made me realize that I'd have to take responsibility for my stupidity. So, I spent a lot of time making online friends and playing games instead of wreaking havoc.
I'm probably defeating my own argument against having children, but I try to see things from every perspective. Yes, kids can be a blessing in a household. Yes, married couples who do have children do feel a greater sense of fulfillment out of their lives than those without. Yes, children are a horrid drain on finances in terms of electricity, food, clothes, electronics, toys, music, hygiene, education, etc. I guess my main point is, you really need to think before you knock up your girlfriend/wife.. really need to think if you want that kind of headache/blessing. Also, you need to decide if your current situation is really conducive to the rampant growth a child requires to be successful.
Personally, I'm a military man, and will be for the next 20 or so years. So that kind of lifestyle wouldn't be good for child, so I will hold off until I am settled. Of course, I'm also concerned about overpopulation on this planet, so I may not ever have kids even though I may end up with more money than I know what to do with. Who knows?
I'm probably defeating my own argument against having children, but I try to see things from every perspective. Yes, kids can be a blessing in a household. Yes, married couples who do have children do feel a greater sense of fulfillment out of their lives than those without. Yes, children are a horrid drain on finances in terms of electricity, food, clothes, electronics, toys, music, hygiene, education, etc. I guess my main point is, you really need to think before you knock up your girlfriend/wife.. really need to think if you want that kind of headache/blessing. Also, you need to decide if your current situation is really conducive to the rampant growth a child requires to be successful.
Personally, I'm a military man, and will be for the next 20 or so years. So that kind of lifestyle wouldn't be good for child, so I will hold off until I am settled. Of course, I'm also concerned about overpopulation on this planet, so I may not ever have kids even though I may end up with more money than I know what to do with. Who knows?
If you don't want kids, then don't have them. Just do whatever you feel like, and make sure you won't have any regrets about it. Maybe you could just babysit your nephew alot.
I don't think it's wrong to not want children. Besides the psychological barrage of having to raise the child(ren) during the same lifetimes that you did, there's also the worry about what they'll be like. Whether they'll be nothing like you and endlessly rebel, or they become just like you and make the same mistakes that you did so long ago.
Personally, I am scared to death of reproduction in general. The idea of being able to create another human life just frightens me, considering all the possibilities that this person can become. Thinking about whether he will be a she, if they'll be extremely successful, if they'll kill another person, if they'll be nothing special... there are so many choices it would be mind-boggling just to imagine the possibilities of what your children could accomplish.
Though, all of this paranoia could just stem from the fact that all my friends are getting married right and left and leaving me behind. So I might be making a big deal about nothing in particular.
Personally, I am scared to death of reproduction in general. The idea of being able to create another human life just frightens me, considering all the possibilities that this person can become. Thinking about whether he will be a she, if they'll be extremely successful, if they'll kill another person, if they'll be nothing special... there are so many choices it would be mind-boggling just to imagine the possibilities of what your children could accomplish.
Though, all of this paranoia could just stem from the fact that all my friends are getting married right and left and leaving me behind. So I might be making a big deal about nothing in particular.
It's okay, I don't want children either.
Well, no, I want children, it's just the whole "having sex to get them" part that I'm not down with. I'd like to pass on my genes, though.
Well, no, I want children, it's just the whole "having sex to get them" part that I'm not down with. I'd like to pass on my genes, though.
Brilliant post!! Like you say its all the "what ifs". I know I am not old by any means but the world has changed quickly..I just can't imagine how school would be now with kids having mobile phones and access to the internet..I know if these things were available when I was at school it would have been a recipe for disaster. The pressures on kids are so much more which in turn equals more pressure and stress to the parents.InsomniJack said:
Speaking of pressure on kids makes me recall something a friend of mine told me which disturbed me..Her 4 year old came home from pre-school and told her she didn't want dinner because she "wanted to stay skinny"..This is at 4 years old!!
Absolutely not. If you don't want kids, don't have 'em.
I've met plenty of kids whose parents didn't really want them or were simply not ready/able/competent to care for them. It's not pleasant.
Plus, if you're a male, you should still have the option for quite some time.
I've met plenty of kids whose parents didn't really want them or were simply not ready/able/competent to care for them. It's not pleasant.
Plus, if you're a male, you should still have the option for quite some time.
There's nothing wrong with not wanting children. That is a personal choice that every person needs to make.
Now, if you were with someone under the understanding that you would eventually have children with them with no intention of doing so, that would be bad. Just not wanting kids is fine. I sure don't want any (of course, I'm 15).
Now, if you were with someone under the understanding that you would eventually have children with them with no intention of doing so, that would be bad. Just not wanting kids is fine. I sure don't want any (of course, I'm 15).
I wouldn't let it bother you. Think of all the potential dangers that could come with having children, if it makes you feel any better. It is like one big lottery, all the various conditions or genetic disorders a child can come out with. Terrifies the life out of me - what do I do if I end up with a child with some horrible, disfiguring condition? The child will suffer, perhaps the for the rest of its life, and I'll feel like it is partly my fault for taking the risk in the first place.
I'd worry about whether or not I would resent my child for not being perfect. My friend was born very premature - her twin sister died during childbirth whilst she was born near blind and with only one kidney. Her father would sometimes get very frustrated as to why "she has to be the way she is" and it strained their relationship. I'd hate the idea that I might end up in a situation like that.
I'd worry about whether or not I would resent my child for not being perfect. My friend was born very premature - her twin sister died during childbirth whilst she was born near blind and with only one kidney. Her father would sometimes get very frustrated as to why "she has to be the way she is" and it strained their relationship. I'd hate the idea that I might end up in a situation like that.
It's certainly not wrong. We have enough people in this world as it is. Understand that you are going against your biological imperative to mate and carry on your genes to the next generation. All I know is that I want a kid. I've known since I was 12 that I want to have a family. It's probably not going to happen any time soon. I'm still living with my parents...
If a person doesn't want a kid, then they probably aren't parent material. But then again, people who aren't proper parent figures usually crank out kids just like them.
In summary, no, it's not wrong. Wait until you feel ready that you can give your kid what he needs to grow up. Which could be never, but it's just a tip in case you do want one.
In summary, no, it's not wrong. Wait until you feel ready that you can give your kid what he needs to grow up. Which could be never, but it's just a tip in case you do want one.
I agree with that and would never deliberately mislead. In my Op I mentioned the one girl where it came to point of discussion but that ended because she didn't like my cats. She loved them at first (or pretended too) but after she moved in she wanted me to not let the cats in the bed, which is impossible as they have always had free reign of where they sleep and sleep where they want. Well the cats really didn't like her and she gave me the ultimatum. I figured anyone who would ask me to give up something I clearly love is not worth my time and showed her the door..Knowing what I know about her now my cats saved me from making a HUGE!!! mistake.2012 Wont Happen said: