Is it wrong to not want children?

[Latinidiot]

people tell me I don't want em because of my age.

of course, I don't know if it's true, perhaps my disgust of snotty little monsters will go away as my brains rot away.

 

[Funkysandwich]

We really need more people to not want to have children, as overpopulation will kill this planet one day.

 

[DaedalusIcarus]

OP:
Just be sure it's for the right reasons. I'm certainly not equipped or educated to deal with these things, but it seems to me that your conviction isn't really as strong as you'd like it to be.

You like kids in general and you already have what some would call a substitute (pets).

The majority if your original post dwells on the emotional stress associated with subsequently losing your children due to divorce or similar.

In summary, to me it seems like you're not really against having kids, you're mainly afraid of getting attached to them only to lose them to some other man after the wife has moved on.

To me this seems like insecurity in general, and attachment issues specifically.

While it's a valid point it just doesn't seem healthy to deny oneself something on the grounds of being afraid to lose it. Taking that to the extreme would result in you denying yourself to be together with a woman, forming friendships or being with your family, because at the end of it all, you will loose them all.

If you think about it, life is all about holding something *for a time*. Nothing is everlasting, nothing you have will ever stay. You can't buy a cat or dog without expecting to lose it at some point, nor can you have a child without expecting to lose him or her at some point, in one way or another.

I guess what it boils down to is how you view life. Rather than being afraid of what might, or will, come to pass maybe you should focus on the *now* of it all, and cherish the memories it will give you.

Of course, you can also just dismiss it all and try to rationalize your thoughts, maybe even ending up thinking like Socrates to whom having children was merely an attempt to stay immortal meant for those who were unable to foster immortal ideas.
(Socrates in the Symposium, speaking of Diotima's ladder of love -- Granted, it's not exactly what he says, but it's not far off)

I'm not arguing for or against having kids, I'm very much undecided myself, but as with every other substantial decision in life, you should be damned sure that the decision you make are for the right reasons.

 

[Eliam_Dar]

I am on the same situation than the OP, I am 29 and I don't want kids, and I have to take a long lecture from time to time from my father telling me how I am going to regret that and so on.

 

[Mushroomfreak111]

Well, I DONT love kids. I think they are annoying, whiny, loud and hyperactive snotblobs, and as it is I never want to have one of my own. I'm having a hard enough time dealing with all the kids the neighbour has...

Loads of people don't want kids, some get kids eventually anyway (cause they "forgot" something or got "unlucky" =) ). There is plenty of people that wants and has loads of kids every day, so if some of us decides its not for us, it's not gona make the human race extinct.

 

[ThatPurpleGuy]

I do want children, but I know I'm not in position to raise one. I have a lousy job and my earnings aren't good enough to raise a family; I'm almost 30, and I wondered what to do, and I decided to wait, if my girl and I can manage to settle down for once, we may consider the possibility, but having one now, would be a burden.
But if you're happy as you are, that should be enough, I ignore my mother whenever she brings the subject, I always told her "I was born when you were 17, and ruined your youth, you want me to ruin mine by having a kid the way you did? I'll pass."

 

[xDarc]

I try not to say "I don't want children." I try not to say it because I've seen plenty of people change their minds. The way I feel about it is, maybe I will meet someone who I can stand for more than a year or two... maybe I'll really be in love and feel happy. Then, maybe, I will be ok with having children.

I will say conclusively that I will never be the one to suggest children. I want to stay baby free as long as possible. I guess I put it better that way.

I've been a cold sunuvabitch too. I've impregnated more than a handful of women over the years. Sometimes they miscarried and I got lucky. Sometimes they agreed to get rid of it and I got lucky. The few times they told me they were having a baby, and I couldn't reason with them, here's what I did.

I told them fine. Have your baby, without me. I won't have anything to do with it. If you think that I will want any part of this child's life you are sorely mistaken. The next time I see you will either be in court or at the clinic. Good luck on your own.

So far that's worked every time. No sensible woman wants to have the baby of such a bastard. But sometimes you have to be the bad guy my friends.

 

[Sampler]

I'm 29 and really don't want kids either.

It's not really something I thought about, never really entered my head for many years - kids were just something other people had but I wasn't really bothered one way or the other to have a child of my own.

Recently my girlfriend (of the past six years) has been putting the pressure on having kids (she says she wants two before she's thirty (26 now)). All this has done though is made me feel more and more about not wanting kids.

I'm not a pet person so don't have surrogates like yourself but her brother's got a wee lad, now three, and he really puts me off having one of my own.

I think it boils down to that I'm just rather selfish. I like to do what I want when I want and with a child you don't have that, your focus and energy should rightly be on that child (or children if you have them) and I just can't make that commitment.

What makes it worse with the "nephew" is all he does is seems to annoy. When he was a baby all he did was sit there wrapped up poop and cry, all the cooing family are like "oh it's better when they can walk". Now he's a toddler and can walk all he does is run around getting into things he shouldn't and then throwing tantrums when he doesn't get his own way.

All just seems a helluva lot of effort to me for what? Unconditional love purely because it's your progeny? I know I have nothing to base this on but why should I love it simply because I made it? Not like we've done something unique, billions of folk the world over have managed it, it's not that hard.

Of course the cooing relatives have now moved onto "oh it's better when they go to school" - so wait, it's better when they up and fuck off?

And what kind of world are we bringing them into? Though I suppose that's another thread entirely.

So now it looks like my relationship will end due to our differing views but I hardly think it'll last if I give in either as it's simply something I really couldn't be bothered with.

So you're not alone in your views mate - though our reasons may differ.

 

[BringBackBuck]

but even in the future I can't see it happening.

Man I was pretty much in your shoes about 18 months ago. My girlfriend and I used to fight about it all the time. She always wanted kids - I was not interested at all. Then something changed. I've no idea what. It just did. I think maybe that biological clock that ticks in women is maybe more of a switch in men. You are pretty much dead set against the idea for so long (see all the posts on here from young males) then at some point with the right person (hopefully) you'll do a 180 and suddenly you'll be keen to create some offspring. or not. my point is don't rule it out you never know what might happen in the future.

 

[omega 616]

genetically speaking, yes, your wrong. Every animal should want to have kids so he can pass on his genes, it is truly the only way to be immortal.

If your speaking about your personal taste then it's up to you. I am a natural worrier aswell but if you let that stop you living your life you wont have much of a life and having kids is known as the most rewarding thing you can do.

On a separate note I am an animal lover, I have had over 400 individual pets (ranging from dogs to ants to birds) but I have always found people who call there pets family rather sad (and the people who let there animals eat there food or lick there face/mouth are disgusting).

Go out and make a real family, it will be alot more rewarding and alot more enjoyable, teaching your kids between right and wrong and watching your kids face light up on his/her birthday and xmas has got to be better than feeding, moving a fake mouse round and emptying out a litter tray.

Plus you have to bury pets ALOT, you should never have to bury a kid.

 

[Sgt Doom]

I don't really see how it's wrong, I can't stand the little bastards.

 

[Irridium]

I don't want kids.

There is no way in hell I would be able to handle it.

I have a 6 year old sister. And as much as I love her, she showed me that I really, really don't want to have kids, because I wouldn't be able to handle it.

I hate it when people think that they should have a child just because everyone else does, or because "thats just what you do". It pisses me off to no end.

And besides, if I had a kid, I would have to give up all the things that make me happy. Call me selfish, but throwing away all the things that make me happy to have a kid "just because thats what you do" is just stupid.

 

[oppp7]

I'm the same way. I fear responsibility too much to want kids and I doubt I will ever want them. There's nothing wrong with not wanting children. It's just what you prefer.

 

[ThreeWords]

Bwahahahahahaha!

Sorry, I laugh because of the silliness of the question (in a good way)

Of course it's not wrong. No one has to have children, and no one should say whether you should have children or not

 

[Prof.Wood]

Too many people are having too many kids that live longer than their ancestors causing overpopulation so a few people having no kids is better in my opinion.

 

[Abengoshis]

Just looking at the thread title and not bothering to read the first post, my short answer is: No, it's not wrong.

 

[CoronaryThrombosis]

Well, in the US, Roe vs Wade says no.

Slightly off topic, but the point is the same: You have the right to choose. Clearly, now is not the right time for you to have children. You may decide you want to in the future, but if you don't it's perfectly o.k. As a man, you have almost no biological limitation on when you can father children. So just live your life and don't worry about what everyone else thinks.

*Edit: You also may want to watch the movie Idiocracy. That movie makes the case that too many people who have kids shouldn't and those who should don't. Just something to think about.