Is there any reason to get married nowadays?

[Revnak_v1legacy]

In fact, single parents are often better than parents who are just living together

there are a bunch of single parent children in ghetto's that could could preach the opposite my friend, or people who live in those areas

Actually there is some research behind this. If the relationship lacks commitment the boyfriend can actually act as a drain on resources rather than as a source of money and attention, which can lead to negative consequences for the child, though if I remember correctly this is an anomaly of the lower class and I think might not be a dominant trend. And I'm generalizing. There are also many children who's mothers have abusive boyfriends.

 

[Dimitriov]

Pretty much the same reason that there has always been for marriage. Seriously.

No not love, and not even finances.


It's the way that a union between two people is made official by society. Seriously, that's the real reason. Marriage is about your friends and family and not really the about the people getting married. Somehow that's been largely forgotten over the last 60 or so years, but it really is the most important part even now.

It's a socializing thing that brings two groups of people together and cements the relationship of two people. It's not always successful obviously but the core rationale still remains valid.

 

[Xdeser2]

If two people love each other enough, why not?

Im not getting in the way of them.

 

[manic_depressive13]

One that I haven't seen mentioned is that it makes adoption a shitload easier. If you can't have kids for whatever reason (such as if you're gay) it's practically impossible to adopt one unless you're married.

 

[afroebob]

First off, you seem to be talking about marriage in a legal sense more than a personal one and to call them the same is absolutely ludicrous. To marry someone in the eyes of the law is to join a legal union that grants a certain amount of rights. To get married on a personal level is to make a lifetime commitment to each other to love one another through good times and bad, to stand together through everything you do and to share your body, mind and soul with another. It is the ultimate testament of love and signifies two halves becoming a whole. I think that is enough reason in itself to get married.

 

[afroebob]

I'm fairly sure most people, when they get married, expect it to last for a long time (if not forever), because otherwise they wouldn't have bothered in the first place. The number of people who divorce afterwards (40% of first marriages in 2006) [http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/story/2010/10/04/vanier-study004.html], though, seems to indicate that quite a few of these people grow apart, despite the intial certainty that they'll remain in love for a long time. If this many people were wrong, how can I ever be certain that I'm right?

You know, you raise a good point. You can never be sure, but that doesn't mean people who get married are being rational about it. In 2006 if marriage failure rates were at 40% that means that 40% of people were married when they shouldn't haev and if they had taken a step back and looked at it they would have figured that out themselves. Heres a nice little quote from Dr. Cox from Scrubs, probably one of the best lines in the series.

"Relationships don't work the way they do on television and in the movies: Will they, won't they, and then they finally do and they're happy forever -- gimme a break. Nine out of ten of them end because they weren't right for each other to begin with, and half the ones that get married get divorced, anyway. And I'm telling you right now, through all this stuff, I have not become a cynic, I haven't. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate-covered candies and, you know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker, I don't care, 'cause I do...believe in it. Bottom line...is the couples that are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but, the big difference is, they don't let it take 'em down."

So no, the problem isn't marriage. The problem is people getting married who aren't ready to give everything to protect what they have because they chose to be with a person they weren't meant to be with.

 

[Smallells]

What? Why? I don't.....AHA!

I got married because I love my wife and because we wanted to.

Problem?

Edit. I'll elaborate.

I see it a lot on this forum .... Quite a lot of people are clueless in a relationship or just can't, won't or don't want to be in one.

That's fine.

Some of us actually have a healthy relationship and quite like it. So we get married if we want to.


The real question is, what the fuck has it got to do with anyone else why some people want to get married?

Thank god. I thought the escapist was populated by robots for a moment there. Tax breaks? Religious reasons?!
How about honest to goodness love? People marry to show their commitment to their other half. If you love someone, you'll usually want to marry them and not even realise how or when it happened. Or why.
Anyway, yes, love. Love is the answer to this question.

 

[The Almighty Aardvark]

What? Why? I don't.....AHA!

I got married because I love my wife and because we wanted to.

Problem?

Edit. I'll elaborate.

I see it a lot on this forum .... Quite a lot of people are clueless in a relationship or just can't, won't or don't want to be in one.

That's fine.

Some of us actually have a healthy relationship and quite like it. So we get married if we want to.


The real question is, what the fuck has it got to do with anyone else why some people want to get married?

Thank god. I thought the escapist was populated by robots for a moment there. Tax breaks? Religious reasons?!
How about honest to goodness love? People marry to show their commitment to their other half. If you love someone, you'll usually want to marry them and not even realise how or when it happened. Or why.
Anyway, yes, love. Love is the answer to this question.

I don't think that's what the OP is talking about. It's entirely possible to love someone as you would a spouse (and them love you back) and not be married to them. One of my friend's parents is in a similar situation. The reasons for putting the stamp of marriage on it is what the OP is asking

 

[Bat Vader]

I think two people can be in love with each other and not get married. I don't understand why two people that love each other need to get married. If somethings happens like a husband/wife cheat, they realize they are not right, or don't love each other; it just causes a messy divorce to happen.

I understand marriage if both people want children and they want to stay together for their child. I don't really see a reason for marriage besides wanting to have children.

Two people that love each other aren't going to love each other more because they get married. Plus, if something happens like a partner cheats or they fall out of love; they can just break up then. No divorces. Both people take what is their and split.

I admit I have never been in a relationship or a date for that matter so this is just me talking from what I have read/observed.

 

[Zoe Castillo]

--

 

[Verlander]

No necessity, but there is a desire, which is why it exists.

 

[WaReloaded]

Oh, I don't know, perhaps love? 'Ya know, the main reason why sane, moral couples choose to marry. I'm not saying it's required, on the contrary, I just feel as though it just isn't right to marry for other reasons (excluding cultural/religious reasons). Maybe I'm too steeped in the "romance" of old, I don't know.

 

[VanTesla]

tax breaks, financial reasons. I know there are some insurance agencies which does the who common-law thing (travelers for example) couldnt tell you if the US has them.

Some people fantasize a perfect wedding for most of their life.

It me nice if you find your "soul mate" that you can trust and get married to enjoy all the benefits that come with it. Of course if it does not work, then the down side of losing half your shit even if you paid for it all is a real blow to the crotch....

 

[VladG]

If you're not religious and don't consider the act of marriage a necessary statement of commitment, there are still quite a few legal reasons to get married instead of just co-habituation in essentially the exact same state.


Ownership, medical insurance, job perks, child custody, inheritance, taxes and a load of other things. It depends on the laws of your country.


Generally speaking it's more advantageous to be legally married instead of just living together.


As for the "horror stories", that's why we have the Prenuptial Agreement.

 

[Angie7F]

In Japan everyone has a koseki, which assigns you to a family. It is pretty much permanent, and is a big deal if you do not have both a mothe and a father side documented. You can be not married, but have the father recognize the child as their son so that the father's name is documented properly.
If you dont, that person can be cut out of inheritance, and many laws and stuff get complicated.

So as much as I am totally not interested in marriage and feel it is an outdated system, I do think that it is necessary if you want to have kids.

I dont want kids, and dont want to get married. Marriage does not prove commitment at all...though most people are deceived otherwise.

 

[chadachada123]

Not getting married isn't necassarily a sign of lack of commitment, though. As I mentioned, my personal wariness about marriage has more to do with the possibly extreme consequences if it ends poorly.

I'm fairly sure most people, when they get married, expect it to last for a long time (if not forever), because otherwise they wouldn't have bothered in the first place. The number of people who divorce afterwards (40% of first marriages in 2006) [http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/story/2010/10/04/vanier-study004.html], though, seems to indicate that quite a few of these people grow apart, despite the intial certainty that they'll remain in love for a long time. If this many people were wrong, how can I ever be certain that I'm right?

Just get a prenup, OP. I know I will get a prenuptial agreement when I get married, since 40% of marriages have a cheater to begin with, I want to make sure that if I end up needing a divorce because my wife is a cheater or a liar or neglectful towards my kids, that she won't additionally steal my stuff.

In my opinion, prenuptial agreements should be mandatory, so that both parties will actually think about the consequences of jumping into marriage and putting half of your stuff up on trust alone. I'm also of the opinion that the state shouldn't even be recognizing marriage to begin with, but whatever.

 

[Supertegwyn]

Love?

That thing that people experience?

Money?

Many reasons. I sure know I want to get married.

 

[blackrave]

Nope, it isn't worth it.
It is better to sign contracts for specific things (children, shearing living space and finances, etc.)