Is this really so unreasonable?...relationship question.

[afaceforradio]

Goes to show how people are different. College takes up alot of time though... I mean nowadays with the studying people are expected to put in. And bear in mind it's only been four months, it's a new relationship it needs time to get to that "I can't bear to spend one second without you" phase.

Are you still in the Navy now then?

 

[vampirekid.13]

Goes to show how people are different. College takes up alot of time though... I mean nowadays with the studying people are expected to put in. And bear in mind it's only been four months, it's a new relationship it needs time to get to that "I can't bear to spend one second without you" phase.

Are you still in the Navy now then?

yes...sadly...i miss her

and i know the work load in college, ive been to 2 of them...i dont know, i guess i was madly in love and always found a way to hang out w/ her until i moved.


it takes losing someone to realize how much you fucked up tho.

even saying that we hung out so much after the breakup all i remember are times when we didnt hang out and how i could of tried harder and be w/ her instead of doing what i was doing. e.g. sleeping, eating, watching tv etc, etc.

 

[JemJar]

I was under the impression that relationships require communication. How can a relationship thrive if you only speak to someone 2 days a week? Am I being unreasonable? Any advice?

Just to controversy-it-up I'm going to point out that quite a lot of the advice on doing the long distance thing says it's not worth trying to talk to each other *every* day.

Yeah, a few phonecalls would be good but try to vary the time of day to help shake things up - when it becomes a late night routine "oh, gotta call the other half before bed" things get to being a chore. Try ringing him when you're hanging out with some mates, chat for a minute then put someone else on and pass the phone round a bit, introduce him to some people by phone - it sounds weird but it keeps things interesting.

 

[afaceforradio]

I was under the impression that relationships require communication. How can a relationship thrive if you only speak to someone 2 days a week? Am I being unreasonable? Any advice?

Just to controversy-it-up I'm going to point out that quite a lot of the advice on doing the long distance thing says it's not worth trying to talk to each other *every* day.

Yeah, a few phonecalls would be good but try to vary the time of day to help shake things up - when it becomes a late night routine "oh, gotta call the other half before bed" things get to being a chore. Try ringing him when you're hanging out with some mates, chat for a minute then put someone else on and pass the phone round a bit, introduce him to some people by phone - it sounds weird but it keeps things interesting.

Couldn't agree more!!

 

[Akai Shizuku]

I am currently with a guy who I have know for 4 years now. We have been dating for 4 months. When I am around him he is everything a girl could want...attentive, charming, and a lot of fun. The problem is when we are not together is is a bit of a dick. I have made what I believe to be a simple and reasonable request (call me and chat for 5-10 minutes on the the days we don't see each other) We are both busy people I work 40-50 hours a week as an assistant manager and he is a full time student at ECPI. He claims that his school work and project are very important and take up wost of his weekday time, along with his friends. I only get to see him on the weekends.

I was under the impression that relationships require communication. How can a relationship thrive if you only speak to someone 2 days a week? Am I being unreasonable? Any advice?

You're not being unreasonable. Just keep in mind that school work can be extremely time consuming and monotonous, as well as stressful...so don't blame him too much for being a dick. Just try to be as comforting and there for him as you can. When you're not busy and he is, try to fill your time with hobbies as much as possible, such as video games (of course).

 

[Shycte]

Well, I don't think that you are being unreasonable. I try to talk to my Girlfriend atleast once a day.

Maybe he is having problems with leting you come in to his daily routine. He works, he eats and he sleeps and maybe been doing so for quite a while. Just a thought.

 

[ilessthanthreetea]

Ignore him on those two days and see how he likes it.

I think it is a bit weird, even a 5-10 minute phonecall would satisfy me. I work 2 jobs, have uni, have a relationship, do voulenteer work and hang out with my friends and still have time to see my guy pretty much everyday. The guy needs to sort out his time management.

 

[Queen Michael]

I haven't read He's just not that into you yet, but I'll bet you anything this is covered there.

 

[Booze Zombie]

Depends how clingy you want to seem.

I joke, but yeah... having a quick talk once a day is hardly going to impact his life.

 

[afaceforradio]

Depends what you study. If you're an Art student yeah I'd imagine it is, but if you're studying physics or something? Not so much. You do have a point though. He would see you somehow if he really wanted to. He evidently doesn't want the commitment.

 

[Golden Gryphon]

Obviously you need to talk to him about it. What you're asking for doesn't sound unreasonable but you might want to offer some sort of compromise like instead of calling you can email each other or talk on msn and it can be only every other day if he's really that busy. Did you talk during the week before you were going out?

 

[metalmmaniac]

This is coming from my experience in a yr long long distance relationship. I completely understand that you want to talk to him everyday, that's not unreasonable. But personally i despise talking on the phone and I did it everyday for a yr with my gf, and it got INCREDIBLY annoying and felt more like a job than something i enjoyed. Also, are the conversations ever different? If the conversation is the same everyday, it's gonna get old really quick. Maybe don't expect a call everyday, and then when you do get the time to talkto each other, you will have more to say and the convo will last longer anyways.

 

[Cowabungaa]

Well I would be the first to say: quality > quantity. You shouldn't forcibly spend a lot of time together, then you'll start annoying eachother over little things.

But that said, your request is far from unreasonable, and I'd feel incredibly shit if I couldn't talk to my girl on an almost daily basis. Maybe 5-10 minutes a day is, as I said, a bit forced. What if you don't have anything to talk about? But I totally understand your request, communication is indeed pretty important.

 

[cleverlymadeup]

i'm giong to say no it's not that unreasonable for you to ask for 5-10 mins a day of his time

my mom and her bf live apart most of the time, due to working long hours. however they call one another every day that they aren't seeing one another

 

[RollForInitiative]

Some people just don't want to be on the phone every day, even if it's only for a supposed "10-15 minutes." Don't force it. Not everybody wants to talk to somebody every single day. Different people require varying degrees of space and if that sometimes means going a day or two without talking to somebody, then so be it.

 

[Biek]

He doesnt even want to call you?!

Dump the zero. Get a hero.

 

[Seventeen]

Honestly, this is the reason that killed my last relationship. Falling into a routine is a bad thing. The whole phone call a day thing is a bad idea in my mind and the space and time inbetween makes the time you do have together better because you have things to talk about. He might even see it as you checking up on him or being invasive into his time everyday. Just ask him honestly if he feels that even a 5-10min phone call a day is too much for him and if he says yes dont worry about it you can go a day or two without any communication.