Is this relationship common/fine?

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BoboPatch

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Jan 3, 2017
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So when I was an HS senior and I started a relationship with who was a sophomore. I am a college freshman at 19 and she's a junior at 17 now. The college is close to her. We are quite happy together but I wonder if this relationship has any kind of stigma. Seeing as I'll be in college, I'm not sure whether or not it would be strange or creepy seeing as she is in HS still. I am disturbed by the idea of much older guy going after HS girls and I don't want to be in that category. Is this uncommon/strange due to me being in Uni?
 

Eclipse Dragon

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BoboPatch said:
So when I was an HS senior and I started a relationship with who was a sophomore. I am a college freshman at 19 and she's a junior at 17 now. The college is close to her. We are quite happy together but I wonder if this relationship has any kind of stigma. Seeing as I'll be in college, I'm not sure whether or not it would be strange or creepy seeing as she is in HS still. I am disturbed by the idea of much older guy going after HS girls and I don't want to be in that category. Is this uncommon/strange due to me being in Uni?
The only issue arises with age of consent in whatever area you live in. Where I live it's 18 (considered high for the majority of most other places), even then there's still a legal exception for ages 16-23.

After that, you only have a two year age difference, so I don't think people are going to find it weird.

Also, the older you get, the less weird society tends to look at it. My boyfriend and I are seven years apart (27 and 34) and that's perfectly socially acceptable. That means when he was 19, I was 12, but if we'd started dating at that time the answer would be a loud NO.
 

Elvis Starburst

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There was a thread veeeeeeeeeeerrrrrryyyy similar to this not that long ago. Gonna echo what most people said on that one... yes, it's fine. Just make sure it's legal
 

BoboPatch

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Thing is, I am pretty turned off/spooked by the idea of a much older guy going after girls in HS and I don' t wan to be in that category?
 

Saelune

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BoboPatch said:
Thing is, I am pretty turned off/spooked by the idea of a much older guy going after girls in HS and I don' t wan to be in that category?
She wont be in High School forever ya know.
 

Eclipse Dragon

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BoboPatch said:
At our ages and considering what I said, is it socially acceptable?
Yes you're fine. Half of me wonders if you're the same person who made the thread in OT, same age difference and everything.

Regardless, you seem to be fighting the responses here even though the overwhelming consensus is "you're good, don't worry about it." so I have to ask, do you just not really want to date this girl and find yourself looking for a justified reason to break up with her despite the fact you get along so well?

If you don't want to date her, no matter the reason, break up already. Stop beating around the bush, it's not good in the long run for either of you.
 

BoboPatch

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It's not that, I just tend to overthink things a lot. See the thing is, even though you say its ok, it makes me wonder if I can take moral ground with things that may seem weird if that makes sense.
 

Trivun

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As long as you're not doing anything that would be considered illegal, I don't see a problem with it. I'm in the UK so our age of consent is 16, but I normally put a limit on myself of 18 since I'm in my mid-twenties and really anything younger would be borderline weird. However, my last girlfriend was younger than me by one and a half years, and the girl I'm interested in now is 21 (so five and a half years younger than me). My parents have an age gap of four years.

End of the day, a two-year age gap is perfectly reasonable at this point, so it's down to you. As I say, just don't do anything illegal (i.e. regarding age of consent and so on), morally if she's into you and there's no manipulation going on I don't see that there's any kind of problem here. :)
 

sanquin

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As said above, two years is nothing! You're not a 'much older guy' at all. And anyone saying so, I feel, is just jealous of you having a girlfriend like her.
 

disused1234554321

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Jul 21, 2017
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Where I live we actually have laws for this very situation. The age of consent is 16 but people aged 14-15 can date someone less than 5 years older. I don't know the case where you live but I don't know anyone who actually cares about that where I live, short of some really protective parents and old Christian dudes.
 

emilybreckejn

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Hey man, I think its completely normal to have 2 years difference between 2 of you, completely normal. One thing I would recommend is to keep in mind the legality, you know what I mean. When you like her, there is nothing that should stop you from seeing her.
 

Catnip1024

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2 years is nothing. A good general rule of thumb is 10%. If the age difference is around 10%, it's not creepy. When you get to 20 or 30%, it's more tenuous.