Now, I genuinely hope you're right, but I think this is sort of a rebound thing. You could just be plan b if something goes wrong in her relationships. I am really trying not to offend.
It feels kinda weird asking this on a forum, but I need help with this.
- Thread starter Viking Moose
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Is anybody else bothered by the vague confusion of this girl?
Viking, I know you want to be with her but I would argue that you don't really know what traits of an individual are the ones best suited for you.
The reason why I say this is because you are having difficulty navigating this girl's situation when you shouldn't be having this tough of a time communicating with someone. I mean, lets say you guys did end up "dating", wait till she blows your mind evading a discussion about the "status" of the relationship... or wait until she has to explain in her round about confused way that she's pregnant.
In her defense, she's young and doesn't even know what she wants but at the same time you shouldn't be self manipulating your actions and your approach just to appease her mood as if she were some lightly sleeping bear that you were trying to hug. You seem like someone who prefers to verbally communicate and chat things out before acting... unfortunately this kind of direct behavior seems to scare her away.
If I were you, I would just do what I do and see if she stays or she goes.
Viking, I know you want to be with her but I would argue that you don't really know what traits of an individual are the ones best suited for you.
The reason why I say this is because you are having difficulty navigating this girl's situation when you shouldn't be having this tough of a time communicating with someone. I mean, lets say you guys did end up "dating", wait till she blows your mind evading a discussion about the "status" of the relationship... or wait until she has to explain in her round about confused way that she's pregnant.
In her defense, she's young and doesn't even know what she wants but at the same time you shouldn't be self manipulating your actions and your approach just to appease her mood as if she were some lightly sleeping bear that you were trying to hug. You seem like someone who prefers to verbally communicate and chat things out before acting... unfortunately this kind of direct behavior seems to scare her away.
If I were you, I would just do what I do and see if she stays or she goes.
Ok, so I joined this forum simply to add a comment to this. Why would you want to tie yourself down to a relationship when your 15? Relationships are alot of hard work and yes they are rewarding in their own right however you still have your entire life to live that is a long time to have crappy relationships and good ones, however 15 is not the age to start down this path. Relationships have a funny way of limiting how much fun you can have without that other person, think about it your friends are having a huge party and you really want to go have a good time but your girlfriend doesn't feel like it and she wants to sit at home and relax but your "free to go" NO YOU ARE NOT! you are expected to be sitting there at home with her while your buddies are out living it up and making the most of High School and you are stuck in a never ending mind game. My advise is get out there meet lots of girls have lots of fun dont get tied down until you have lived your own life and made memories that you will carry with you for the rest of your life, do you really want to look back on high school and think gee I wish I would have had more fun and made great memories rather that being down and out about some girl that you will not even hardly remember in 10 years. Because you know what these years are some of the best you will ever have you are young and carefree use that to your advantage.
Would you like to know why she all of a sudden is all cuddly and such with you? its because you showed that you weren't interested in her anymore. By not talking to her you excluded your self as a potential suitor, therefore giving you some mystery, you were also demonstrating control over her world by cutting your self out of it. Now that you are back in her life and are "friends" again I promise you that before long it becomes just like it was before, because now she is back in control of your "relationship" keeping things going at the pace that she is defining get back in the drivers seat and be in control dont be at her beckon call next time she calls and wants to chat set a time constraint by saying some to the effect of "I can only chat for a second I have too(insert something social here)" even if its not true, this puts you in control of the situation and also shows that you have a good social value at the same time. Also if you are intent on being with her you may try demonstrating a bit of higher value, why should she choose you over another potential mate? what do you have to offer that these other guys dont? Also be confident guys who ooze confidence are usually the ones that the girls are attracted to, and I will tell you what going on an internet forum and asking for advice for this is not showing confidence and is not demonstrating higher value, do you honestly think that other guys that she has dated have actually gone to an internet forum (one dedicated to video games no less) and asked for advise on how to get her to like you.
I to used be alot like you in my early years of High School, I wanted the girls to like me and I was always "in love" with one of the them until I realized that I had another 60 years to be miserable why not have fun now while I can.
A bit of recomended reading would be a book called "The Game" By Neil Strauss. While I am not telling you to go out and become a PUA (read the book if you want to know what that is) but use it as inspiration to get out there and be more confident in every aspect of your life. as a little bit of confidence will go along way in this world.
And finally I will leave you with this, Once you have entered the "friend zone" you are likely to never recover, the reason for this: they know to much about you, there is no mystery, they know you are this nice guy who is their FRIEND and nothing else so dont expect anything more because for the most part they never will.
Ok thats enough of my rant
-Teetdogs
PS if you didn't get it before DONT WASTE YOUR HIGH SCHOOL MEMORIES ON SOME GIRL THAT YOU WONT REMEMBER IN 10 YEARS!!!!!
Would you like to know why she all of a sudden is all cuddly and such with you? its because you showed that you weren't interested in her anymore. By not talking to her you excluded your self as a potential suitor, therefore giving you some mystery, you were also demonstrating control over her world by cutting your self out of it. Now that you are back in her life and are "friends" again I promise you that before long it becomes just like it was before, because now she is back in control of your "relationship" keeping things going at the pace that she is defining get back in the drivers seat and be in control dont be at her beckon call next time she calls and wants to chat set a time constraint by saying some to the effect of "I can only chat for a second I have too(insert something social here)" even if its not true, this puts you in control of the situation and also shows that you have a good social value at the same time. Also if you are intent on being with her you may try demonstrating a bit of higher value, why should she choose you over another potential mate? what do you have to offer that these other guys dont? Also be confident guys who ooze confidence are usually the ones that the girls are attracted to, and I will tell you what going on an internet forum and asking for advice for this is not showing confidence and is not demonstrating higher value, do you honestly think that other guys that she has dated have actually gone to an internet forum (one dedicated to video games no less) and asked for advise on how to get her to like you.
I to used be alot like you in my early years of High School, I wanted the girls to like me and I was always "in love" with one of the them until I realized that I had another 60 years to be miserable why not have fun now while I can.
A bit of recomended reading would be a book called "The Game" By Neil Strauss. While I am not telling you to go out and become a PUA (read the book if you want to know what that is) but use it as inspiration to get out there and be more confident in every aspect of your life. as a little bit of confidence will go along way in this world.
And finally I will leave you with this, Once you have entered the "friend zone" you are likely to never recover, the reason for this: they know to much about you, there is no mystery, they know you are this nice guy who is their FRIEND and nothing else so dont expect anything more because for the most part they never will.
Ok thats enough of my rant
-Teetdogs
PS if you didn't get it before DONT WASTE YOUR HIGH SCHOOL MEMORIES ON SOME GIRL THAT YOU WONT REMEMBER IN 10 YEARS!!!!!
Well I thank all of you for your reply's and wanted respond a bit.
I know a lot of you have been saying she's on the rebound. The paranoid side of myself has thought about that a lot and its not the type of person she is, she doesn't like to hurt people like that because she has had that experience with people that she thought liked her but ended up backstabbing her.
Some of you were saying that friend relationships don't work that well and I can understand that, but I just wouldn't feel comfortable asking someone that I barely knew if they would "go out" with me.
And finally I know some of you have said I should enjoy my high school years and have fun and not get tired down. I'm just not that type of person. I personally really don't enjoy partying that much. And with me being a Christian a believe very strongly that you should wait until your married to have sexual relations.
I know a lot of you have been saying she's on the rebound. The paranoid side of myself has thought about that a lot and its not the type of person she is, she doesn't like to hurt people like that because she has had that experience with people that she thought liked her but ended up backstabbing her.
Some of you were saying that friend relationships don't work that well and I can understand that, but I just wouldn't feel comfortable asking someone that I barely knew if they would "go out" with me.
And finally I know some of you have said I should enjoy my high school years and have fun and not get tired down. I'm just not that type of person. I personally really don't enjoy partying that much. And with me being a Christian a believe very strongly that you should wait until your married to have sexual relations.
Viking Moose said:
I am not sure why you posted if this was going to be your responce. You have made your mind up and to me it seems like you were looking for justification for what you knew your were already going to do.
As far as your last paragraph is concerned you dont have to go out and party, or having relations with lots of people but that doesn't mean that you dont need to experience life and all the fun stuff there is to do when your young, to me it sounds like you want to grow up way to fast and jump into serious relationships before you even know what is out there.