It's getting worse.

[TryingToUnderstand]

What is a person to do when they just cannot function in society, *professional* help is pretty much out of the question, I've already been in institutions several times and it's basically just prison. They don't actually do anything to help they just want you off the streets.

I don't have a place in this world that society will deep acceptable so what shall I do? Kill myself? I don't want to die; yet it's certainly not good for me to be around people. Run off and live in the woods? Whats the point then I'd rather be dead than just *surviving*. I suppose the question is, what is one to do when one isn't really human and cannot live by even the mildest of *societal standards*. Just throwing it out on every forum I even glance over, maybe I will stumble upon the holy grail of an answer.

 

[TechNoFear]

Travel the world.

The 'traveller' is an accepted role in most cultures and societies.

By experiencing different cultures and societies you may gain some insight into how you can interact with your own, or find a place in a different one.

If not, at least the change in scenery should be interesting...

 

[Jux]

Hmm, in what way do you find yourself unable to function? Are we talking about violent tendencies, social phobia, or something else? A bit hard to give advice without more information.

 

[thebakedpotato]

Stop thinking of yourself as the victim so much. If you keep narrating and framing your life your life in the victim role, that will be the role you will keep playing.

Easier said than done, but even a villain has agency. A victim has none.

 

[TryingToUnderstand]

Hmm, in what way do you find yourself unable to function? Are we talking about violent tendencies, social phobia, or something else? A bit hard to give advice without more information.

Apologies, I was unclear and obtuse in that post was I not? I do not have any phobias or anxieties, I cannot reconcile with the way people act and behave. I have been to prison and *medical* facilities both unwillingly and willingly, I have found them to be rather pointless in the way they try and *help* I also find them uncomfortable to be in. If I have no place outside of such places then again; should I bother existing? I do not have *feelings*, I do not understand how people think, I cannot even remotely conceive a perspective different to my own.

Stop thinking of yourself as the victim so much. If you keep narrating and framing your life your life in the victim role, that will be the role you will keep playing.

Easier said than done, but even a villain has agency. A victim has none.

Are you suggesting I become a *villain*? I have done villainous things before and I find that it makes it even harder to fit into society as such, and while I feel no remorse for such things I also find no joy in them.

I am having a hard time describing this, I know the words; I simply do not believe them to do adequately explain myself.

 

[rawfy]

If you can find the means to, picking up the backpacker/nomad lifestyle might be a good plan. It would probably allow you to pick up new experiences (surviving off of little, meeting strangers, becoming somewhat accustomed to different cultures and environments).

I wouldn't pull the plug yet though...hehe... I find that most experiences in life are there to learn from. Whether it's a financial situation, a social mishap, being put in danger, stress, loneliness, etc. It all seems to be a series of lessons that lets me grow when I overcome it.

But given what you typed I'd actually cosign TechNoFear, If you could find a way to save up enough money to just put your months notice in at your place, dump all of your shit and take off some were with a few bags to try a new place out that could prove rather interesting.

otherwise you might find stuff like this make things easier to deal with:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHtz7f-nmwM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5f3k3hB5Mw

 

[Jux]

Hmm, in what way do you find yourself unable to function? Are we talking about violent tendencies, social phobia, or something else? A bit hard to give advice without more information.

Apologies, I was unclear and obtuse in that post was I not? I do not have any phobias or anxieties, I cannot reconcile with the way people act and behave. I have been to prison and *medical* facilities both unwillingly and willingly, I have found them to be rather pointless in the way they try and *help* I also find them uncomfortable to be in. If I have no place outside of such places then again; should I bother existing? I do not have *feelings*, I do not understand how people think, I cannot even remotely conceive a perspective different to my own.

First off, I would ignore the advice to act like a villain. So, correct me if I'm wrong, as I'm not a medical expert, but you're describing yourself as a sociopath yes? When you say you don't have feelings, can you elaborate there? You previously stated you found being in facilities to be uncomfortable. A state of discomfort could be described as a feeling.

What exactly were you treated for when you were in these facilities?

 

[TheCallawayKid]

I too find myself wondering how other people think, I know that my thought process and that of joe average are not the same.
I have a hard time seeing perspectives that conflict with my own, it hinders my ability to engage in meaningful relationships with people.
That's not to say that I do not have friends or family that care about me, I just don't care, I can think of two people who's feelings mean anything at all to me.
I listen to people's opinions, usually forming my own negative judgments as I do, give my opinion and wipe the conversation from mind.
It means nothing to me, only extreme emotions good or bad elicit any form of a psychological response...
I am speaking to a professional and it seems to kind of be working, I am honestly not sure what other options there are.
I just read your post and it was cool to see that I'm not the only person that has difficulty relating to people on a sociological level.
In my experience the best thing for me was realizing that I'm not alone with my mental quirks, people may not be able to explain it or fix it but lots of other people are suffering from it.
So you're not alone, the fact that you've reached out for advice is great and as cliche as it sounds it's a huge step! Took me years.
Good luck.

 

[TryingToUnderstand]

First off, I would ignore the advice to act like a villain. So, correct me if I'm wrong, as I'm not a medical expert, but you're describing yourself as a sociopath yes? When you say you don't have feelings, can you elaborate there? You previously stated you found being in facilities to be uncomfortable. A state of discomfort could be described as a feeling.

What exactly were you treated for when you were in these facilities?

It would not be 100% factual to say that I have no feelings. I do feel boredom, frustration, and *joy* I classify that as excitement; or *thrill* as apposed to what others describe as joy. I can not recall any other emotions that I have felt. When I said uncomfortable I meant physically, I was under no emotional duress; other than perhaps boredom.

As to what I was treated for, I do not know. I have seen dozens of psychologists whom have all had differing diagnosis. Sociopath was among many of the lists; but there were so many, and often conflicting opinions; that I find the whole process to be wholly inadequate. I was given medication for depression, Dissociative identity disorder, Schizophrenia, Autism, ADHD, the list goes on. None of witch had any effect on me in any measurable way.

The travelers approach is both not feasible; and highly unlikely to work. I do no have a substantial amount of money, nor have I found a way to make it; as I am almost unhireable. I have no *friends* or family; and the majority of my funding comes from the state.

I have not given up on average peoples ability to help me, but after years of failure; I find it much more likely that what will eventually give me a workable *solution* will come from someone who is as I am, and has found a way to cope.

I apologize for slow; or inconsistent posting. I have many forums in witch I am conversing with people on this very subject.

 

[TheCallawayKid]

Deleted

 

[TheCallawayKid]

Oops, my bad

 

[Reeve]

You're probably not as different from everyone else as you like to believe. Most people aren't honest about what they are actually like.