It's kinda [messed] up the way we ask "How are you?"

[DudeistBelieve]

I've recently discovered Reddit, and I notice an exchange about different cultures and they talked about how in Norway, if you ask someone how they are, they actually will tell you how they are.

But in America, we kinda just use is as "Hey, is this a good time for me to talk to you or are you going through shit" or "Tell me in as few of words possible if you're having a shit day."

Like you'll go to the doctor, he'll ask how your doing, you'll say Good, and then proceed to talk about the inner ear infection you have.

Conversly, asking someone in America "Are you all right?" is like a serious thing, cause it's really saying "You look troubled, and I am concerned and want to help you."

So fucking weird, lived in this country all my life and never really noticed it. I mean... it's weird right?

 

[IceForce]

It comes from the old English phrase "How do you do?" ( <-- to only be said in an British accent, while wearing a top hat). It's just another way of saying "Hello."

And yes, it's usually meant as a rhetorical question, (which is something that's likely to be lost in translation to other languages).

 

[Scarim Coral]

Honestly when someone asked me that, I never really say the real thing just the usual "I'm, ok" or "I'm good". Every now and then I may say the real thing but I keep it short than to drag it on. I can assume when I asked other the same phrase, they are doing the same thing.

 

[Nemmerle]

The person I know who's best at talking to people rarely if ever asks how folks are. He'll ask how a specific thing went, how people's kids are. Things like that.

"How are you?" Is mostly what you ask of strangers I feel. By which metric there are a lot of strangers who see each other every day.

 

[Palpatin93]

If it really is an American thing, then it's already leaking into other cultures. As a German, I encounter the rethorical "How are you" very frequently. It puts me in a weird spot, because I never exactly know what they want to hear as an answer...
And because I really don't like that awkwardness, I usually try to subvert this kind of thing by honestly telling them how I'm doing and giving a brief summary of the general problems I'm facing/ successes I've had. When people learn to expect that, they hopefully learn to not ask this question with the expectation of a ritualized "I'm fine".

 

[JoJo]

Yeah, over here in the UK we have also have "You alright?" or "You okay?" which serve the same purpose. It's small talk, the point isn't to exchange any useful information, just to acknowledge the other person.

 

[KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime]

I prefer the much more awkward, "who are you?" followed by backing away in confusion.

When I was a cashier, I once had a customer ask me "How are you?" I replied honestly, got a few words in before he cut me off saying "I don't really care, was just being polite."
Its almost a form of symbolic interaction. Ever replied to "what is new with you?" with a "fine thanks."?

That gave me a giggle.

Personally I go with "Good morning/day/evening/night." Which seems to confuse people in the Day and Night variants, the former people go "are you British/Australian/Canadian/etc?", the latter gets responses of "are you going to bed?" When someone asks me "how are you" I respond with: "Not bad for surviving another day/night cycle on an a fleck of dust flying around a bigger hotter fleck of dust." Which breeds massive confusion amongst people who don't understand I just basically said was: "Alright for surviving another day on Earth." If I've been drinking though the response to "how are you" is "drunk, how about you", if the person answers "sober", I call then no fun and walk away grumbling dejectedly.

 

[Ambitiousmould]

In the UK, "How are you?" is always returned with, "Not bad, you?". Or words to that effect. Always. It's not really a question, more a different way of saying hello. There are different ways of asking, "How do?", "How's it going?" and, "Alright?" are all ways of doing it, but the answer is always the same. And if someone genuinely tells you how they are, things get awkward.

It's something that was almost certainly invented here, no doubt a product of our repressed nature and desire to appear polite and considerate but not wanting to pry or hear about peoples feelings.

 

[KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime]

In the UK, "How are you?" is always returned with, "Not bad, you?". Or words to that effect. Always. It's not really a question, more a different way of saying hello. There are different ways of asking, "How do?", "How's it going?" and, "Alright?" are all ways of doing it, but the answer is always the same. And if someone genuinely tells you how they are, things get awkward.

It's something that was almost certainly invented here, no doubt a product of our repressed nature and desire to appear polite and considerate but not wanting to pry or hear about peoples feelings.

In America our short hand versions are "what's up?", followed with "not much, you?", or the really curt "'sup?" which is followed with "'sup?" and nothing more.

 

[Creator002]

Yeah, over here in the UK we have also have "You alright?" or "You okay?" which serve the same purpose.

I noticed that when I used to play Habbo and talked to people from the UK. In Australia, it's common to say "how are you" like the OP stated, where "you ok" or "you alright" is asked out of concern. Confused me for a bit until I caught on.

 

[Ambitiousmould]

In America our short hand versions are "what's up?", followed with "not much, you?", or the really curt "'sup?" which is followed with "'sup?" and nothing more.

Yeah, in my town we can be very short with the "alright?" greeting. Because of pronunciation it becomes "alreyt?" (pronounced like "al-raight" as in "straight", not as in "great") but our tendency to half-drop syllables and practically mutter others means that saying "'reyt?" is just as acceptable, often without even fully opening the mouth. It also not uncommon for the 't' to be sort of half-dropped. It's still there though, usually as a glottal stop, so it can become "'rey'?" to people who aren't used to the accent, but locals can still hear when the 't' is there.

 

[happyninja42]

Yeah, over here in the UK we have also have "You alright?" or "You okay?" which serve the same purpose. It's small talk, the point isn't to exchange any useful information, just to acknowledge the other person.

Pretty much yeah. It's a form of "hello", even if you already said hello. It's just a customary inquiry, and people usually expect the customary response of "I'm allright."

 

[Lightspeaker]

Yeah, over here in the UK we have also have "You alright?" or "You okay?" which serve the same purpose. It's small talk, the point isn't to exchange any useful information, just to acknowledge the other person.

Pretty much yeah. It's a form of "hello", even if you already said hello. It's just a customary inquiry, and people usually expect the customary response of "I'm allright."

A few years ago I was at a research post with an international research team; but mostly from the US and the UK.

Us Brits would frequently use the usual greeting of "Alright" to which any Brit knows the correct response is "Alright". When we said it to the Americans, however, they'd usually suddenly look really concerned and respond with something along the lines of "yes, I'm fine. Why? Do I look like something is wrong?". Took them about a week and a half to get the hang of the fact that no, we don't think something is wrong, we're just saying hello.

 

[Eclipse Dragon]

Depends on who I'm asking.

If they're a stranger and they ask me "How are you" the expected response is typically "Good and yourself", which gets "Good" or maybe "Fine" or "Okay", but usually "Good". It's small talk and serves no purpose other than to prevent awkward silence. It comes in handy in situations where people may already be uncomfortable, such as the doctor's office.

If I'm asking this question of a family member, friend or my SO, I am actually checking to make sure everything is indeed okay and I would like to know if it's not, but then I tend to forgo this question in favor of "How was your day?" or "How are things going?"

 

[Something Amyss]

I prefer the much more awkward, "who are you?" followed by backing away in confusion.

Whereas I prefer "What do you want?"

...sorry, couldn't resist.

It's a social ritual. It's not even really intended to mean anything. It's the same reason we say "good morning" even though we don't want someone to have one, a southerner might say "bless your heart" when they mean "go screw yourself," or an atheist might say "god dammit."

 

[happyninja42]

Yeah, over here in the UK we have also have "You alright?" or "You okay?" which serve the same purpose. It's small talk, the point isn't to exchange any useful information, just to acknowledge the other person.

Pretty much yeah. It's a form of "hello", even if you already said hello. It's just a customary inquiry, and people usually expect the customary response of "I'm allright."

A few years ago I was at a research post with an international research team; but mostly from the US and the UK.

Us Brits would frequently use the usual greeting of "Alright" to which any Brit knows the correct response is "Alright". When we said it to the Americans, however, they'd usually suddenly look really concerned and respond with something along the lines of "yes, I'm fine. Why? Do I look like something is wrong?". Took them about a week and a half to get the hang of the fact that no, we don't think something is wrong, we're just saying hello.

If I had to guess, they probably were inserting a question mark at the end of that word. "Alright?" Like you were just using a very abbreviated "You doing alright?" Which is a common "how are you?" equivalent over here. If they were unfamiliar with your accents, that probably added some extra confusion to the mix.

I prefer the much more awkward, "who are you?" followed by backing away in confusion.

Whereas I prefer "What do you want?"

...sorry, couldn't resist.

It's a social ritual. It's not even really intended to mean anything. It's the same reason we say "good morning" even though we don't want someone to have one, a southerner might say "bless your heart" when they mean "go screw yourself," or an atheist might say "god dammit."

Why are you here?!

The Babylon 5 circle is now complete!

 

[DeliveryGodNoah_v1legacy]

I prefer the much more awkward, "who are you?" followed by backing away in confusion.

When I was a cashier, I once had a customer ask me "How are you?" I replied honestly, got a few words in before he cut me off saying "I don't really care, was just being polite."
Its almost a form of symbolic interaction. Ever replied to "what is new with you?" with a "fine thanks."?

Pfft, most of my customers barely let me reply with "Fi-" before cutting me off to tell me about their outdated coupon.

 

[Charli]

I tend to ask 'How are you doing today?' So I can receive a general vibe about the persons mood and well being in a few words then inquire deeper later. Otherwise I just say hello.

The more I think on It I rarely use the 'how are you' variation unless speaking to family and I know I'm asking genuinely. I always did find it an intrusive and annoying ask at work too. Thinking more than once 'you don't care, so why even ask jackass.' even though social me is going 'they just think it means a polite greeting, shut up brain and say you're fine like a trained parrot'.

 

[Something Amyss]

If I had to guess, they probably were inserting a question mark at the end of that word. "Alright?" Like you were just using a very abbreviated "You doing alright?" Which is a common "how are you?" equivalent over here. If they were unfamiliar with your accents, that probably added some extra confusion to the mix.

Or, being raised on TV, they assume everyone talks like a Mary Poppins character. Cheerio, pip pip, something Guvnah. 'Ow's the missus?

Why are you here?!

The Babylon 5 circle is now complete!

Eeeeeeeexcellent.

Mr Burns was a Shadow, right?