Its not yours, so don't use it, dammit!

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Erana

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Feb 28, 2008
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So, I was socializing the other night with two other girls, and one said that she had a dire need to study for a midterm. So, the remaining friend asked, "Final Fantasy 9?" and I concurred. Neither of us had ever actually gotten to play the thing, so we've been playing it through together for the sake of a damn fine game.
So, I go to the lounge in which I had left my PS2, (I had been playing it a few hours before) and I find three people, one of which had just left to go, "study," watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer on my PS2.
Personally, I find it rude that they would do this. I've been leaving post-its on the thing if I don't bring it back to my room, explicidly stating to not use it without my permission. Those keep disappearing. They tell me to close the door, because I'm interrupting them. So I ask, "You're not using my PS2 without having asked my permission, when there's a public DVD player right there, have you?" the three reply in annoyed tones with reasons such as, "We didn't know whose it was," "It was already set up," and, "It was there."

I ask, "Well, can I have my PS2 back now?" they tell me that the episode is almost done, and the DVD player was broken. I figured I'd wait for it to end, and twenty minutes later, the episode is still going on, and I've never experienced such a spoiler fest; they were watching an episode from two seasons ahead of when I stopped watching. And I have the nerve to interject, "I thought she was a lesbian." Then I get snapped at because one of them was watching the series for the first time. I point out that they had told me this when I was watching the second episode, and they told me that it didn't matter, because, "You were just there. she has an emotional investment in the show."
Sure, I'm not too emotionally invested in a show about highschool drama made even worse by demonic forces, and yes, I already guess most of the plot points, but spoilers are never fun.

Eventually, the episode ends, and I get my PS2, along with some nasty glares. Then, they put in three plugs, and press two buttons, and were watching the show on the DVD player they said was broken.

Point is, if its not yours, don't use it. Why do people have such a hard time understanding this? I see all the time, someone taking food from the dorm lounge and just start eating it. I ask em, "Is that yours," or "Isn't that (insert name here)'s?" and they reply that it wasn't specially marked for them not to use it. People also use my PS2 without my permission, often as a DVD player, and then snap at me if I have the audacity to want to use my own game system. I don't understand why someone would do this.
If someone took another person's car, regardless of if it were marked as theirs or not, that would be considered stealing... And it is stealing and damaging other people's things. Obviously, they've deprived the true owner of their food, or detergent or whatever, and they treat what they, "borrow" horribly. My controller makes a disconcerting rattle, and my R2 trigger doesn't work half the time now, which makes playing my newly acquired Jak 2 problematic.
On the occasions that I leave my PS2 out, I leave do-not-use post-its and have recently resolved to take away the controller. The problem is, the other gamers in the dorm will use their own controller and leave it there. That, and people merely toss the post-it.

Yes, I think most people are unreliable, self-fulfilling jerks. I'm already at the bitter ambivilence stage on this topic, so I don't need any, "You're too sensitive" or "you take things personally" posts.
I'd just like to see if anyone has a reasonable explaination or insight on why people think they have the right to use someone else's things and behave so disrespectfully.
 

bluerahjah

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Mar 5, 2008
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Quite simply : no human on this earth from now until eternity will ever understand the meaning of the term "direct ownership". You own something someone else wants to use? Fuck you, they're human, they want it now. It's all about the selfishness of the human psyche to get what it wants when it wants it.
 

Jimmyjames

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Jan 4, 2008
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If you live in a communal environment you should expect it. Don't live in the dorm if you don't want to share.(you never atually said it's a dorm, but it sounds like it)

I had a roommate like this. If I used his ketchup he'd tweak. If I even LOOKED at anything of his, he'd tweak. Mind you, he was fine with using anything of mine, and I told him he could. One-way street.

Can I ask you a question? Are you either an only child or the youngest child? This type of "its mine" behavior is typical of someone that never dealt with siblings.
 

ParkourMcGhee

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Jan 4, 2008
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I've never had people be so damn rude o0.

You could install a lock on your door like I did :p. All you need is to buy a lock, and get a hold of a chisel and hammer (for carving out a hole in the door if the current hole with knob in it isn't big enough - I wonder if anybody quotes this last part out of context).

You have the option of key only - or if you're feeling adventurous like me, a key on the outside and twisty thing on the inside... but then there's a problem if you forget to lock it and they get in.

On the whole if that doesn't work get new friends/family or just don't let them in your room. They can't just take your stuff and not give it to you - that's just redundant.
 

opiwankenobi

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Oct 10, 2008
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You were way too nice. If they acted that rude in the first place, i wouldn't have hesitated to take the ps2 with me, no matter if the episode is almost done. Not my problem.
 

fix-the-spade

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Feb 25, 2008
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You are far too nice about that. I'd have just walked over and yanked it, the DVD player works, they didn't ask, it's yours, you need it.
I probably have an advantage when doing that though, being a 6'4" dude and all...

They do it because it's there and you let them. The only effective way to stop it is to take the Playstation away.
 

Anton P. Nym

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Sep 18, 2007
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Erana said:
Point is, if its not yours, don't use it. Why do people have such a hard time understanding this? I see all the time, someone taking food from the dorm lounge and just start eating it. I ask em, "Is that yours," or "Isn't that (insert name here)'s?" and they reply that it wasn't specially marked for them not to use it.
To which, I'm afraid, the only workable response is to apply the Sharp Wedgie of Correction and tell them that since their underpants weren't specially marked that this was unwelcome that obviously this is okay.

-- Steve
 

somerandomguy76

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Sep 6, 2008
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Just take the console back to your room when you're done with it and leave the cords plugged in.

That's what I'd do if I was in a dorm. Apartments make this situation much easier to regulate although my cookies do tend to disappear at an alarming rate...
 

dragontiers

The Temporally Displaced
Feb 26, 2009
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I found that any time you live in any sort of communal situation (dorms, housemates, roomates, etc), people think that anything that is left in the communal area is free reign for anyone to use. Most people will actually stop just shy of going into your room/desk/closet and grabbing what they want, but usually just barely. There is the basic mentality that since you are sharing that particular area, anything found in that area is availabe to anyone who shares that area. This extends to lounges, living rooms, dining rooms, fridges, just about anything that is considered a common area. If something is marked "Do Not Touch" most people (at least if you personally know them) will respect that. Those that don't are assholes.
 

Erana

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Feb 28, 2008
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Jimmyjames said:
If you live in a communal environment you should expect it. Don't live in the dorm if you don't want to share.(you never atually said it's a dorm, but it sounds like it)

I had a roommate like this. If I used his ketchup he'd tweak. If I even LOOKED at anything of his, he'd tweak. Mind you, he was fine with using anything of mine, and I told him he could. One-way street.

Can I ask you a question? Are you either an only child or the youngest child? This type of "its mine" behavior is typical of someone that never dealt with siblings.
I have a big sister, and we're at the point that if there was only one piece of tasty chocolate, we'd try to forcefeed the other with it. The problem is, things are so harmonious at home that I can't fathom why people are so inconsiderate.
 

Ionami

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Aug 21, 2008
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Don't live in a dorm? Don't leave your shit around where other people are undoubtedly going to use it? Understand that people will always do stuff like this, and therefore the only real solution to solve it is to prevent it from happening through your own actions?

It's annoying, I agree... but you KNOW it's going to happen... so take a couple extra minutes to do things that are going to prevent it from ever occurring. That's life for you.
 

Legion

Were it so easy
Oct 2, 2008
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They were extremely rude I agree, but given the living situation, I do think that if you leave something out then you need to expect it to be used. It's not right, but it's to be expected nonetheless.
 

arcainia

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May 16, 2008
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fix-the-spade said:
You are far too nice about that. I'd have just walked over and yanked it, the DVD player works, they didn't ask, it's yours, you need it.
I probably have an advantage when doing that though, being a 6'4" dude and all...

They do it because it's there and you let them. The only effective way to stop it is to take the Playstation away.
Exactly. You're being way too nice. First of all I wouldn't even leave stuff like that around in the first place. You know that if someone uses it without permission, and then breaks it, they're definitely not going to pay for repairs or a new one.

So, don't leave it laying around. And if for some unknown reason you can't, then actually give some back talk to anyone who uses it. I would have fucking opened the PS2 and thrown the CD away if someone was doing that to me.
 

ThaBenMan

Mandalorian Buddha
Mar 6, 2008
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Well, if I were you, I just wouldn't leave your PS2 in the lounge. Do you not have your own tv in your room?

And yeah, like others have said, most people will just take advantage of any opportunity they come across. Sure, they probably saw your post-it notes and everything. But the PS2 is there to be used and the post-its easily removed. It's sad, but a lot of people won't be stopped from exploiting such things unless there's some tangible consequence to it.
 

Erana

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Feb 28, 2008
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arcainia said:
fix-the-spade said:
You are far too nice about that. I'd have just walked over and yanked it, the DVD player works, they didn't ask, it's yours, you need it.
I probably have an advantage when doing that though, being a 6'4" dude and all...

They do it because it's there and you let them. The only effective way to stop it is to take the Playstation away.
Exactly. You're being way too nice. First of all I wouldn't even leave stuff like that around in the first place. You know that if someone uses it without permission, and then breaks it, they're definitely not going to pay for repairs or a new one.

So, don't leave it laying around. And if for some unknown reason you can't, then actually give some back talk to anyone who uses it. I would have fucking opened the PS2 and thrown the CD away if someone was doing that to me.
I usually don't leave it laying around. I did for a while- I have a few gamer friends who couldn't bring their PS2s. When the controller got messed up, I took the controller away, so that they could play it with their own controllers. And I don't want to make them miserable because of a few jerks. And I'm out of the dorm a lot, between being a TA, classes, and just not liking the horrible yellow walls, and...
Yeah, I guess I am being too nice. But I don't wanna deprive 'em...
*proceeds to face an internal conflict between benevolence and self-intrest*

Oh, and did anyone actually click on the whole rant, or was Buffy a successful deterrent?
 

Sion_Barzahd

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Jul 2, 2008
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I tend to ask before using other peoples stuff. Occasionally you meet people who just don't mind. I mean a couple of my friends can come into my house and use my game systems without me really minding (unless i wanted on it.) But generally i don't like people touching my things without my say-so.

The reason why people do it? They don't think you (or anyone who i could belong to) would mind or they didn't care.