Japanese Erotic Game Keeps Self-Pleasure Statistics

[docbox1567]

I wonder what the trophies would be?

 

[laststandman]

I feel like this game works in the same way Bioshock 2's multiplayer works, but instead of total ADAM or average ADAM per game; well, you know...

 

[GloatingSwine]

Three pages and no-one has posted this yet?


Escapist, you disgust and sadden me.

 

[reciprocal]

Finally, a product that meets my everyday needs

 

[SomeBritishDude]

Canned Dogs mentioned that the official site sells the game bundled with a Tenga Egg. Of course, I had to look that up (I figured it was some sort of vibrator.) Alas, I was wrong there; the Tenga Egg would definitely be an appropriate add-on for "players" of this game. I'll not post the YouTube demonstration vid I just watched but it's there. Weird stuff, these Tenga Eggs.

That video is hilarious and in no way explicit (besides the context and the mention of PENIS, of course). I think other people deserve to lol over this one:

Oh god...I was thinking of the chocolate egg with the little toy inside...

 

[Aedrial]

I've gotta ask beause it's bugging me: How does it know?

Playstation eye?

I think/hope/pray to Dawkins that it´s tracking the ingame protagonists' (probably player controlled) digital masturbation though...

Why, Japan, why? Is it a severely limited edition gift game for Michael Atkinson and pals? Who would ever buy this???

Something tells me it may actually expects the player to TELL the game...

 

[chiggerwood]

Canned Dogs mentioned that the official site sells the game bundled with a Tenga Egg. Of course, I had to look that up (I figured it was some sort of vibrator.) Alas, I was wrong there; the Tenga Egg would definitely be an appropriate add-on for "players" of this game. I'll not post the YouTube demonstration vid I just watched but it's there. Weird stuff, these Tenga Eggs.

That video is hilarious and in no way explicit (besides the context and the mention of PENIS, of course). I think other people deserve to lol over this one:

Did that guy just say enjoy all SIX THOUSAND!?! How many different ways can you strangle the skin pony? You know what don't answer that. This has to be the weirdest sex toy I've ever seen, except for the vagina in a can; yes it's from Japan.

 

[DoW Lowen]

The real question is how will that progress the game?

"You need two more gallons of ejaculate to continue!"

Finally.... Grinding is FUN!

 

[Eggsnham]

Why waste good technology on good vieogames? Oh... Wait.. It's Japan.

 

[Captain Blackout]

I'm sorry but this just made me laugh a lot. (Yes I'm very immature)

Its definitely disturbing, but at the same time hilarious.

Lets hope they don't include a leaderboard...

Oh god that be funny if they did.

Maybe we could finally free wanking from it's hideous world of loneliness and low self-esteem and raise it to the art form it was meant to be.

 

[Amnestic]

I've gotta ask beause it's bugging me: How does it know?

Could you imagine they do crap like this for the eyetoy on playstation, the motion sensor could pick you up and take statistics as you play.

See that's one of the thoughts I had, the other would be some sort of power glove-esque device which has sensors in the glove to detect when you're choking a biatch the chicken.

Beyond that, I can't really see it finding an accurate way of collecting such statistics.

Either way is weird, and a bit hilarious.

/Tempted to import this game for shits and giggles.

 

[Scrythe]

But you're missing an important detail: How exactly does the game know? I mean, I'm sure it doesn't some with a DDR-like peripheral (How many calories did you burn on Max 300 on Expert?).

I'm kinda curious now. Do you put a webcam on your wang? Does it discreetly turn your mic on while you're milking the lizard? Or does it hire one of those restroom attendants to sit and watch and hand you towels and such?

"Mint for you, sir"

 

[PrimoThePro]

that gave me a good laugh. is that its claim to fame? that it counts how much you perform the four knuckle shuffle?

 

[gigastrike]

Why would anyone want to know? Any graph it creates would pretty much be a "how much time you've wasted" graph.

 

[Radelaide]

The real question is how will that progress the game?

"You need two more gallons of ejaculate to continue!"

Think about the achievements

"Achievement unlocked: God just killed a kitten in your honour."

 

[himemiya1650]

Perhaps you should be more terrified if your mom see's the graph, than seeing you do it in your room. After all, then she'll know what you like.

 

[Bloody Crimson]

If there was ever a game for silly gimmicks that make no sense, this would be the one.

It's like a boring business man just discovered porn and made a game on his experiences!

That might be it...that might be the game designer...

I've gotta ask beause it's bugging me: How does it know?

Maybe the time between pushing the button to progress the cutscene? That's about all I can think of.

 

[icyfresh]

i fucking wish someone would record a girl trying to
lol her reactions to everything wud be hillarious

 

[traceur_]

So people actually buy this crap?

Go spend a buck on a pen and ruler (shut up) and type in "creepy as fuck porno" into google and you can get the same result.

 

[Ultra_Caboose]

Yay, now I don't have to open up Excel every time I want to record data for jerkin' the gerkin, I can just add it to the data proveded by (presumably) underage anime girls. ALL RIGHT!!