Jim & Yahtzee's Rhymedown Spectacular: Cabin Fever

[Evonisia]

I regret nothing, Jim.

Yahtzee's was pretty good, just a shame that that girl still had such high standards even as she plummeted to her death.

 

[Bodster]

Thoroughly entertaining as usual. Can't wait for the next one.

 

[Irridium]

Escapist, I think Jimmy is trying to say something. Maybe Bobby have a poet in him, because Jimmy seems like he want out.

This is too much fun to surrender so soon. I have way more sights to show you.

You heard it here first! Next poem will be about Pinhead!

 

[tangoprime]

Age Gate, Age Gate, AGE GATE! Lol, Jim's right though, we do have ourselves to blame, but it's been a great ride watching his descent into madness.

 

[NerAnima]

So Jim, if I may ask, what do you have next? You've done Donkey Kong, Mario, Zelda, Pokemon...
Planning on moving on to Metroid, Star Fox (although you have already done furry porn in your latest Jimquisition), or F-Zero? I am genuinely curious, as you seem to have had a thing for Nintendo in some of your poems.

Regardless, both parts were great, cannot (and will not) decide who won, though

 

[Sheo_Dagana]

I tune in for both gentleman every week, as they're always able to make me laugh. Neither disappointed this week.

 

[JenSeven]

but it's been a great ride watching his descent into madness.

Oh, I think he's still reasonably sane. He still hasn't gotten to squirting manlove over Gordon Freeman's beard and licking it off, or french kissing a Left 4 Dead boomer or getting it on with TF2's pyro.

 

[NerAnima]

but it's been a great ride watching his descent into madness.

Oh, I think he's still reasonably sane. He still hasn't gotten to squirting manlove over Gordon Freeman's beard and licking it off, or french kissing a Left 4 dead boomer.

Is that the point when he has GONE insane, or the point where he STARTS to go insane? Either way, I'm not entirely certain if I want to see that or not.

 

[Ohlookit'sMatty]

Ok, so maybe next week put Jim first and see what happens

-M

 

[Maszynow]

Well Jim, it seems you made the day for many yiffing enthusiasts with this one.

 

[iamscottevil]

Aww, I always enjoy both. You guys should add moviebob once and see how it goes.
Chin up Jim.

 

[Cid Silverwing]

Not much I can say that hasn't already been said about Yahtzee's bit. It's Jim's bit that put me off - I'm surprised this one doesn't come with an age warning. Let's have a little less eroticism in your poetry, Jimmy, because you're not very good at it (that goes double for when you discuss gender issues).

 

[jinroom]

C´mon! Jim, do not let some people make you sad, your part in this Rhymedowns is good, and funny to hear.

I honestly think you should swap turns every once in a while, you know? You start one week, and Ben the other, and so on.

 

[Psychobabble]

C´mon! Jim, do not let some people make you sad, your part in this Rhymedowns is good, and funny to hear.

I honestly think you should swap turns every once in a while, you know? You start one week, and Ben the other, and so on.

Yeah I agree. Next time Jim, you take on a serious allegory rhyme and let Yahtzee wank off the big monkey.

Sometimes a banana is just a banana, BUT NOT THIS TIME.

 

[Rafe]

I'm only here for you, Jim. Can't stop laughing, your poems get more and more glorious all the time.

 

[geier]

Oookayyy......
I see the gay furry porn takes his toll.

 

[Formica Archonis]

Jim has an... interesting... way of rewarding viewer loyalty.

 

[hazydawn]

Both poems were really clever and the homoeroticism in Jim's made it all the more enjoyable >.<
Now excuse me while I search for rule 34 on donkey kong &#9472;=&#8801;&#931;(((&#12388;^&#969;^)&#12388;

 

[Thunderous Cacophony]

Terminal velocity of a human: ~192 km/h. (Figures are unavailable for man-sized turtles and mushrooms are not available at this time.)
Falling for ~6 days, or 144 hours.
Total distance fallen: ~ 27,648 km.
Diameter of the Earth: 12,762 km.

I don't know where the Mushroom Kingdom is, but the planet must be significantly lacking in density if people aren't being crushed by gravity.

You're assuming
a) that a koopa is infact falling as fast as a human (they probably fall less)
b) that the koopa was falling for six full days - while he obviously didn't have the full first and last. So cutting it down to around 120 to 130 hours instead of 144 makes more sense.

Also, may I remind you that in the Mushroom Kingdom, overweight plumbers are able to jump several meters in the air?

I've got some time to kill, let's address this. (Tools used: Terminal velocity calculator, [http://www.calctool.org/CALC/eng/aerospace/terminal] Surface Area Calculator, [http://www.csgnetwork.com/surfareacalc.html] Drag Coefficient chart [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drag_coefficient].
a) The largest turtle I can find [http://www.seaturtles911.org/turtle/green.htm] was 152 cm long and weighed 395 kg. This seems about right for a Koopa; a bit shorter than the average man, but much heavier due to shell weight. With a drag coefficient of 0.42 (approximately semi-spherical shell) and a surface area of approximately 72,583 cm squared, we have a terminal velocity of 15.7617 m/s, or 56.74212 km/h using Moon gravity (see C). Much slower now.

b) Let's assume the Koopa was on the morning shift, and he fell in at 10:00 AM on the dot, and hit the ground at 12:00 PM the next day (they needed light to shine down to illuminate the bottom to see the pile of dead Marios.) That gives us 122 hours of fall time.

c) Physics is wonky when everything appears normal but men can leap high into the air, so I'm assuming Moon gravity (~16% of Earth). This is wrong, given his ability to run normally instead of bounding along, but I can't be arsed to work out how he manages that.

So our final math is...

Terminal velocity of a Koopa: 56.74212 km/h.
Time Fallen: 122 hours.
Total distance fallen: 6922.53864 km.

The Koopa has fallen past the radius of the Earth, which means someone else has to calculate the size and density of the Mushroom Kingdom to work out how such a thing is possible.

 

[Crazy Zaul]

At this point I just assume all Jim's poems are about Holmes. A donkey they dispenses sugar or whatever I already forgot sure sounds like Holmes.