Jimquisition: Mass Effect 3: A Gay Erotic Love Story

[OniaPL]

Now what exactly is the name of this "song from FFIX" so I can go download it?

"Loss of Me".

Definitely one of the best tracks in that game.

Thank you, kind sir. Have a polar bear as a small gesture of my gratitude.

 

[drisky]

I'm impressed by Jim's ability to paint a picture with his words more then anything else. That took some writing talent.

 

[Doug]

I can't believe I am saying this, but Jim Sterling just wasted 8 minutes of my life.

That's what she said.

Have to agree with you both on that.

I'm not exactly an expert on erotica but don't give up your day job Jim...this didn't get me excited at all.

or is it a parable on how all the ME fans are getting fucked by EA?

Its actually abit of satire on a bunch of homophobes from who declared that allowing gay romance options in Mass Effect 3 would 'ruin the game for them' and they declared Shepard couldn't possibly be gay, no matter what.

The fact that very few people seem to know that this is what its about shows that Jim messed this one up and should have just done a normal video.

 

[MPerce]

There was not a more brilliant way to respond to the ridiculous fan rage about the gay maleShep options. Well done, Jim.

 

[Nenad]

I said "no homo" before starting the game and that cancels all they gayness in it! XD

Grammar nazi reporting in for duty sirs! Am I the only one who noticed that he/the description said/says "magnus opus" when it's "magnum opus [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magnum_opus]", right?

 

[Ukomba]

Listened to about a minute of it before skipping to the end to see if he ever made a f***ing point. Nope.

If I want to watch some guy read bad fan fiction I'd watch some Bennett the Sage.

 

[Novania]

Two things;

1) I want some Scooby Doo pajamas.
2) I'm glad I felt no stirring in my pants

 

[Doom972]

What the fuck did I just watch?

So, ME3 will have gay romance options and some people are in an uproar? I don't remember people complaining about it in the Dragon Age games.

On an unrelated note, any chance Jim could make a similar story only with Femshep and Lesbianism while he wears a wig and talks in a girly voice?

 

[Xanthious]

Hilarious video. I actually thought it was one of the better Jimquisitions.

That being said I can understand people not being keen on there being man on man lovin' in ME3. I just can't imagine anyone sitting around playing the first two and thinking to themselves "Ya know this is a pretty good game but dammit all if it wouldn't just be about perfect if I could just bugger the Hell out of Garrus".

But I guess while we are giving people options I think it's only fitting that we let our Commander Shepards lay the wood to one of the many corpses that cross his path so that the necrophiliac Mass Effect fans don't feel left out. Of course we'd be leaving out all the Mass Effect Fans that are into beastiality so we better let Shepard bring some livestock on board his vessel for a little late night slap and tickle.

Now understandably a good many people that read that and think it's horrible and doesn't have any place in a game like Mass Effect. Well that's pretty much the same way a lot of the people that are upset over the changes allowing the gay relationships in ME3 feel. It's all just a matter of degrees. Some people are more easily offended than others. What might be totally fine with you may offend others quite a bit.

Personally though I think that all the romance options in Bioware's games are total shit as they feel terribly shoe horned in and add nothing to the game as a whole. None of them are terribly in depth. It's nothing more than a mini game of picking the right gifts and choosing the right options in conversations all coming to a head in a badly animated "love scene". You could replicate a more realistic relationship with a fucking blow up doll.

 

[KiloFox]

the funniest damn thing i've watched in a good while. i tip my hat to you Jim, thank the gods for you!

it won't take ME3 or that video to turn me gay, i was gay already (though i do have a thing for Tali. no idea why)

 

[praus]

I get it, but surely there was a less horrifying and shorter way of doing it?

Actually I think that was the point. As much as the extended description of gay sex was a turn off to straight guys, it also proves that straight guys are not going be turned gay by a gay story line in Mass Effect; they're just not interested.

 

[GonzoGamer]

I'm not exactly an expert on erotica but don't give up your day job Jim...this didn't get me excited at all.

or is it a parable on how all the ME fans are getting fucked by EA?

Its actually abit of satire on a bunch of homophobes from who declared that allowing gay romance options in Mass Effect 3 would 'ruin the game for them' and they declared Shepard couldn't possibly be gay, no matter what.

The fact that very few people seem to know that this is what its about shows that Jim messed this one up and should have just done a normal video.

Probably the same bozos who think gay marriage will ruin regular marriage. I actually live in NYC and we've had the gay marriage thing for a little while now but nobody has tried to get me divorced from my wife and married to a guy, so it doesn't bother me.
There are a lot of (supposedly) straight people who think about gay people more than actual gay people do...most of them are republicans. I'm not saying that they all are closet cases (probably only a good 80% of the really obsessed ones) but they definitely got issues.

Yea. I think there are enough ripoffs being aggressively perpetrated on gamers lately that Jim doesn't need to do something like this.

 

[Yopaz]

Though I like the irony in this it dragged on a little too long. I like his usual videos better even though this was probably the best video when considering the pure satire.

 

[Fearzone]

It does seem a little strange that all of the sudden we have to verify our age just because there is homosexual content in this one, and other than that the usual amount of obscenities.

It's not porn because it is not intending to titillate but rather make a point, probably around the recent events with the Mass Effect writer. Actually I'm not sure what the point was, but there was some point in this trying to make itself.

If the point was, like, being exposed to violence in games does not a violent person make, he is already preaching to the converted.

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

Jim, you are one beautiful bastard. I'm so glad I didn't go into work today because of me feeling like crap otherwise I would be watching this there.

Your straight face while reading that made it even more hilarious. So glad I wasn't drinking anything while watching this.

 

[SonOfVoorhees]

I think Jim put more effort in that video than everything he has ever made to date. lol. An as much as people concentrate on the Gay aspect....what about the Lesbian aspect? Im a straight guy that plays Mass Effect, and my characters are either straight or lesbian.

 

[CleverCover]

It's funny, because I'm preparing a rainbow MShep as I watch this video?

There's another controversy about gayness in games?

Can we take all of the homophobes and their conservatism and drop them back in a simpler era, with Pong and Jumpman?

My captcha blames it all on the untaught and youth.