Jimquisition: The Ten Worst Games of 2011

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Assassin Xaero

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Jul 23, 2008
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Jumping on the band wagon to hate Duke Nukem forever with the same bullshit "the game isn't funny" "the game makes rape jokes" excuses for why it was bad. I'm almost surprised he didn't throw in the whole "you only get two guns" excuse, too. Obviously he didn't play half the games out there because there were a lot that were worse than DNF (Brink, Homefront, DA2, etc.), and just wanted to throw in his "DNF sucks" comments.
 

Snake Plissken

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Jul 30, 2010
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I have two corgis. I am seriously considering putting pants on them because that picture was fucking PRICELESS.
 

Ashley Blalock

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Sep 25, 2011
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Thank God for Jim Sterling, but I have to thank him even more that I don't own any of the games that made the list.

But darn Jim did you have to remind of the really bad movies this year as well for kind of a down year in entertainment? Then again it could always get worse because I'm sure it's only a matter of time before they decide to do something like have Micheal Bay direct a Duke Nukem live action movie.
 

Zhukov

The Laughing Arsehole
Dec 29, 2009
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So... what exactly was wrong with Knights Contract?

(Not defending the game, haven't played it, just curious.)
 

Telperion

Storyteller
Apr 17, 2008
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I seem to recall a Game of Thrones strategy game coming out this year. I vaguely remember it getting trashed in various reviews. I was waiting for it come up, but it didn't.
 

Strain42

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Mar 2, 2009
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My biggest disappointment was hearing that the BloodRayne game was so bad. Because like you, I've been waiting years for a new one, and I really was loving the way the new one here looked artistically.

Oh well, thanks for the heads up that it's crap. You've saved me some money.
 

Rabish Bini

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Jun 11, 2011
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I took my pants off and gave them to my wife, as per your instructions.

*It's a joke, don't hurt me*
 

Metalrocks

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Jan 15, 2009
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some of the games i havent played since i had no interest in them or dint come out for the pc, but i surely agree, that DNF sucked really hard. surly the biggest disappointing title of this year and for the franchise.
 

DarkhoIlow

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Dec 31, 2009
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I'm glad you decided to do this list Jim.

Keep up the great work and Merry Christmas! And of course Happy New Year and Birthday at the same time!
 

DeaDRabbiT

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Sep 25, 2010
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Srkkl said:
amaranth_dru said:
Hey, aside from the horribad-Batman he was, Val Kilmer is awesome.

Here's a list of great movies with Val Kilmer in no order in particular:

HEAT
Felon (hell you don't even know its Val Kilmer til you see him in the credits, which in that movie reminds me of Gary Oldman, an actor who you don't always recognize in a movie because he's just that awesome)

True Romance

Willow (Madmartigan anyone?)

Real Genius (best Val Kilmer Movie EVAR)

Top Gun (ok, I'm a Top Gun fan, fuck you all if you flame me for it)

Prince of Egypt (he was fucking MOSES)

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans (yes it was a Nick Cage movie, but despite people's hate for Nick Cage, I love him, and this movie was great as was Val Kilmer)

and finally....

Tombstone (BEST Doc Holliday EVER)

Now... Jim, I love your show, I love your ideas... but please don't use actors being voice actors in a videogame as a reason the game is shit unless you can honestly back that statement up with good reason).
You forgot Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Great movie, and Val really made it as good as it was.
It was a team effort. Val was just a piece of it.
 

ms_sunlight

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Jun 6, 2011
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Assassin Xaero said:
Jumping on the band wagon to hate Duke Nukem forever with the same bullshit "the game isn't funny" "the game makes rape jokes" excuses for why it was bad. I'm almost surprised he didn't throw in the whole "you only get two guns" excuse, too. Obviously he didn't play half the games out there because there were a lot that were worse than DNF (Brink, Homefront, DA2, etc.), and just wanted to throw in his "DNF sucks" comments.
No, given that the man makes his living as review editor I think it's fairly safe to say he's probably played all the above games. A quick Google search confirms that he in fact wrote reviews for Brink and Homefront.

Is it so hard to understand that a lot of people genuinely thought DNF was shite?
 

Soxafloppin

Coxa no longer floppin'
Jun 22, 2009
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Meh, I kinda liked the Cursed Crusade, well I was playing through with a friend over pizza and alcohol so we'd be having a laugh anyway.

Kopikatsu said:
I actually thought Cursed Crusade looked pretty cool...

Also, what was wrong with Knight's Contract? The gameplay video I saw of it looked good.
I haven't played it but I've seen reviews and the main problem seems to be controls and quick time events that give about 1/10 of a second to react, then when failed they give the boss back half its health.
 

Trikeen

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Feb 17, 2009
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The Cartel at 9, and Duke Forever at 1?

Fuck you, Jim Sterling.

I mean come ON. Duke Nukem Forever was not a good game, no. But to say it's THAT bad is so full of shit it absolutely astounds me.
 

JdaS

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Oct 16, 2009
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NinjaDeathSlap said:
Agree almost entirely, apart from your opinions of Assassin's Creed, because those are just wrong. WRONG DO YOU HEAR!!! :p
Yes I could've sworn there was a... *ahem* stab at Assassin's Creed with the whole Templars remark. You take that opinion right back mister, y'hear?

Other than that, the list was pretty spot on. Only one I'd heard good things about was Bloodrayne, but that might've been IGN.
 

SpaceBat

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Jul 9, 2011
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Assassin Xaero said:
Obviously he didn't play half the games out there because there were a lot that were worse than DNF (Brink, Homefront, DA2, etc.), and just wanted to throw in his "DNF sucks" comments.
Please tell me that you're joking. If you honestly believe that DA2 is as bad, if not worse than DNF, then I really don't know what to say to you.

LiquidGrape said:
Kudos to Sterling for tearing into DNF for being the trite, misogynist piece of regurgitated garbage utterly void of redeeming features that it is.
Pretty much this. I simply cannot think of a single aspect of DNF that I find worthy of praise.
 

Dukenstein

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Jul 14, 2010
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I view Duke Forever like a science project you tried on but did not succeed. You were assigned a month to do it and really brainstormed about it over the next three weeks. You had great ideas, wanted to really please your teacher and just make it perfect yet you never set into motion until the last week. Sadly that's the week you also got sick.

So you spend the next week just laying in bed trying to get over it and kinda forget about the whole project due in four days. Finally it is the final night and you start on it. You try and put everything together and just mash it all up, all your ideas over the last four weeks. You stay up all night trying to make this project the standard the teacher expects. Your life and soul goes into this thing and you curse yourself for not starting it sooner but you try your best. Sadly, it does not come out so well, parts of your project were A material, out of the box, others were just tacked on and lame. Your font was the wrong size and that offended everyone. It had heart, but tucked under the stitches.

But yeah, I liked Duke, it did leave a bit of a sour taste in my mouth thinking about the bad parts of the game, but the good parts really shined. Now for the DLC, that just kicked ass all around. I loved the hell out of it.
 

Tsaba

reconnoiter
Oct 6, 2009
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I'm surprised Homefront didn't make the list, other than that, good list.