Jimquisition: Two Rules For Square Enix

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Something Amyss

Aswyng and Amyss
Dec 3, 2008
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There aren't many things a boot in the arse can't fix.

But for the love of GOD, and Jim, please record better audio. Half of the video sounds like I put a pillow over the speakers.
 

Mister Linton

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Mar 11, 2011
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Better solution for SEs problem: Liquidate that pos company and stop making games all together. The game designers can get jobs at Burger King where they will be successful and not painful failures.
 

mjc0961

YOU'RE a pie chart.
Nov 30, 2009
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But how do you get Square Enix to make a game that's worth playing instead of a bunch of cutscenes tied together with random battles that you hardly get to participate in that doesn't even begin to be even close to entertaining until you're 20 hours into it? I mean that last thing right there is enough for me to tell them to take their games (as in the ones they develop, not the ones they publish that are made by competent developers) and shove them up their ass. I don't care if the game is the best game ever and even gives me blowjobs once you hit 20 hours of playtime: I am not slogging through 20 hours of shit to get to the good part when I could just be playing something else that's good from start to finish.

As for the block game, the only Apple device I have is an iPod Classic. Oh well.
 

penguindude42

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Ha, I didn't hear a word he said over how awesome Dragon Quest is.

Why do so few people like it? 0_o

~Tom<3
 

Atmos Duality

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Announcements and restraint aren't the problem; it's the fact that Squeenix doesn't understand how to make good games anymore.
For every decent Squeenix title I've seen/played, there are at least six games that are either total shit, or ports of old Squaresoft games.
 

Strife2GFAQs

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Apr 13, 2009
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"I love FF games, but if it helps them release them, make the games shorter. FFX was a perfect length, but if that's just not possible nowadays, make the game shorter and it's fine. Most RPGs can tell a story in 20 hours, most other games can make a game in 10, most films 1 1/2. 60 hours isn't necessary and probably even suits some people better to have a shorter game"

FFX was the same length of XIII WITH Blitzball and Arena battles. The problem with 30+ hours is battles that drag on or are in ridiculous quantity. XIII was terrible because it stretched a 6-hour movie into a miniseries blocked off by 50 million battles and nothing else. Compare that to Ys, which can get done telling just as much story and have as many battles in about 20. They get away being so short because they stick to real-time battles or the bump system. I can bet you at least an hour is spent in FF games loading the battle screens throughout the game. About 20-30 hours is spent waiting for your stupid AI characters and their ATB bars to load.

With KH in existence, FF games have no excuse to continue with the traditional ATB and "alternate reality battlefields." You could easily condense an arduous 60-70 hour game into 30-40 hours that way.
 

Redd the Sock

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Apr 14, 2010
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I think you kind of hit the problem, but kind of missed it as well. It's more premature announcement syndrome, where a game is announced only slightly after some concept art and ideas can be crammed into a trailer, then potential development time is ignored. It's not like these guys are fanfic writers bouncing from idea to idea but never finishing everything. These are "ahr-teets" (artits) that won't let a development schedule get in the way of their ideal work. Some of the trailer excess and pointlessness is our own fault. Fans just expect something at both E3 and TGS, even if there's nothing new to see, but I don't think anyone's sitting on their laurels here.

Admittedly, SE does need some focus, and the best way to do that is to remove the millstone of FFXIV from their neck. I mean, I could start at the folley of continuing to try and leech the WoW crowd, or the general stupidity at creating a game that would ultimatly compete with one of your other games (XI), but there's an extra credits video about MMOs around here that makes the point better. Rather, even if you could ignore the bad idea it was in the first place, they still botched it, and botched it bad. Now they're spending time and resources trying to make the unplayable playble that could better be served on other projects like versus XIII. I admit, I like the influx of PSN and DS releases of older games to keep cash flow going and want it to continue, but lloking forward, the tallent could be spent a lot better.
 

Jennacide

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PixelKing said:
The way he said right was funny for some reason, if you watched the vid you know which part.
OT: Does anyone really care about SE at this point?
Very sadly, yes, loads. The same people that will ignore all the glaring issues in FF13 and 14, including all the content that was outright pulled from the game. Either because of time constraints in the case of 13(which is funny considering it's dev time), or kneejerk reactions to speculation like in 14.(Removing mail/auction systems to 'stop' goldsellers.)

Even despite the past two FF's being major clusterfucks, there is still a very vocal legion of people waiting for Versus 13 to make everything all better, despite it being headed by Nomura, who took the Kingdom Hearts series down the toilet when given full control over it.

Personally I started to lose hope in SE years ago, but only until FF14 did I give up all hope and just say fuck it. I was one of the people that really enjoyed FF11, even with it's horrible grind. I hoped 14 would fix that aspect and make things better, and once I got into the beta I learned I was very, very, horribly wrong.
 

Smokescreen

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Dec 6, 2007
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There are some good points but again, the delivery is more grating than funny.

I know Jim has some interesting things to say about gaming but frequently it gets lost amongst the noise he produces as 'JIM' instead of the writing/sharp/interesting person involved in the industry.
 

Atmos Duality

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AgentBJ09 said:
Antwerp Caveman said:
Yes, it's the first 3 rules. His show breaks all of them.
So does Yahtzee, on a regular basis no less, so your argument is invalid.
How is it invalid?
Because there's two shows on this site that prove a double-standard exists, it's suddenly not a double-standard?

I'll have to become an attorney and try that one out in court:
"Well you see your honor, my client is innocent because another person was guilty of the same crime."
 

Canid117

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VGStrife said:
Am i the only one who thought it was pronounced eeeeenix rather than (en)ix?

Also what game are they currently working on that is in the way of FFVXIII/KH3 so i can destroy it.
No I'm right with you on the pronunciation.

Killing Jim over and over again? Thats going to make the game very popular among detractors with no sense of the value of a dollar.
 

AgentBJ09

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May 24, 2010
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Atmos Duality said:
How is it invalid?
Because there's two shows on this site that prove a double-standard exists, it's suddenly not a double-standard?
It boils down to opinion, but the basis for saying he should go has to work both ways. You don't like Jim because he "breaks the rules"? So does Yahtzee, yet both are contracted by this site.

Also, those rules he brought up are for the forums and User Groups, not the video producers. If you want to start applying those rules to Jim, they have to apply to everyone else who makes videos here, including Yahtzee, meaning the sexual imagery and flaming talk in many of his videos and columns would get him booted as well.
 

MatsVS

Tea & Grief
Nov 9, 2009
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Jennacide said:
PixelKing said:
The way he said right was funny for some reason, if you watched the vid you know which part.
OT: Does anyone really care about SE at this point?
Very sadly, yes, loads. The same people that will ignore all the glaring issues in FF13 and 14, including all the content that was outright pulled from the game.
Well, if you, like me, are perfectly content pretending FF XI & XIV never happened, the only FF left whose errors you need to skirt around is FF XIII (and granted, there is lots of skirting needed). Now, given that FF XII was marvellous, it's not really that much of a stretch to still hold out hope that either Versus-XIII, XIII-2 or eventually XV will be good.
 

DigitalAtlas

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PixelKing said:
The way he said right was funny for some reason, if you watched the vid you know which part.
OT: Does anyone really care about SE at this point?
You'd think that would be the case, and yet I'm STILL getting quoted for a troll post I did a week ago because the JRPG fanboys rolled in and couldn't take a joke.

OT: I completely agree. With the popularity of threads about SE last week and the news of FFvsXIII, it's good to know others are tired of them as well.
 

Infernai

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Apr 14, 2009
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orangeapples said:
VGStrife said:
Am i the only one who thought it was pronounced eeeeenix rather than (en)ix?

Also what game are they currently working on that is in the way of FFVXIII/KH3 so i can destroy it.
Final Fantasy XIII-2
No offense to fans of 13, but i really REALLY think they should just stop making the sequel and just divert the resources to Versus 13. Cause hey, atleast Versus is trying SOMETHING new with it's lead protagonists personality. The game, while certainly better then 12, was just...boring. The fact that they have Rosh Penin as one of the main characters (Seriously, listen to the voice in that one gameplay footage thing and TELL me it doesn't sound like Rosh)...if you don't know who Rosh is, I truly envy you. As a result, the sequel to 13 isn't really making itself look too good in my eyes.

So yeah, less 13-2 and more Versus 13...then you can make Kingdom Hearts 3!
 

PixelKing

Moderately confused.
Sep 4, 2009
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DigitalAtlas said:
PixelKing said:
The way he said right was funny for some reason, if you watched the vid you know which part.
OT: Does anyone really care about SE at this point?
You'd think that would be the case, and yet I'm STILL getting quoted for a troll post I did a week ago because the JRPG fanboys rolled in and couldn't take a joke.

OT: I completely agree. With the popularity of threads about SE last week and the news of FFvsXIII, it's good to know others are tired of them as well.
You don't troll JRPG's unless you want a legion at your house, I got the same reaction to my response to Osama Bin Ladens death which is much grander on the scale. Although in latest posts there was a thread named 'JRGPS SUCK' so some people agree that JRPGS are wastes of time and effort.