Jimquisition: Ubisoft - A Sad History of PC Failures

[Silentpony_v1legacy]

Maybe i'm in the minority here(which I concede is likely) but Ubisoft games were never that good to begin with. Assassins Creed especially. Don't get me wrong, the running/jumping/sneaking/stabbing is great fun but the games take exaggerated, almost comical, steps to avoid the fun bits. The experience is like going to a paintball arena to do math homework. From Dust too! Every single time I was on the verge of having some fun the game would wrench me back to a tedious micro-managing of incredibly difficult and stupid worshipers.
So Ubisoft made crappy ports of already crappy games. I'm more upset about Ubisoft horrible excuses and cop outs and that bastard DRM service than I am making sure Watch_Dogs has better graphics. Trust me, whats wrong with Watch_Dogs can't be fixed by better car headlight shadows.

 

[SlightlyEvil]

I mentioned this in another thread, but the "Iconic" baseball cap was seriously the dealbreaker for me that stopped me from pre-ordering Watch_Dogs. I had an Amazon gift card, and was going to buy it, but when I saw the "Iconic" baseball cap as an advertised extra, I had to wonder why Ubi's marketers were so desperate to sell me this game. That was what stopped me from buying immediately and instead made me wait for the reviews, which luckily was the right call.

 

[psychostudent]

Back in early 2012, Ubisoft had to move their UPlay servers to a new location and annouced Uplay would be down 1 day for the move but it wouldn't affect Anno2070 and you would be able to play.

Guess what? For the whole day and the day after the move I wasn't able to play Anno (or any other Uplay game) at all. Worst of all they scheduled their move on a FRIDAY! Didn't it occure to them that choosing the start of the week-end to shut down their server is a very BAD idea?

 

[zerabp]

Sigh, you could have made a special super-long episode there.

This was the first thing I thought when he said we didn't have all day. Jim surely you know your fans would be more than willing to listen to you rant all day? I would.

 

[MonkeyPunch]

Yes, yes and furthermore yes.
Though these are all gripes I had with Ubi years and years ago and now I'm just bored of them. I stopped buying Ubi games after I bought a bunch of games on Steam and had to go through that shit-show called Uplay; which is if we're honest, probably even worse than Origin and that's saying a lot.

I always found their "stance" on piracy to be hilarious. No really. Jim pointed out one of their fallacies - but there were loads! It really is like watching a 5 year old trying to explain nuclear fission.

Iconic episode.

 

[Model_Omega]

I thought Jim said he'd be making farting noises at Ubisoft for this? Where are the farting noises?

 

[xPixelatedx]

I know you have made numerous cases for people being allowed to "like what they like" but I think this is one of those times that proves it isn't harmless at all. Why do you think Ubisoft is acting this way? Why do you think they think they're doing a good job by handling games and consumer complaints this way? Because people keep throwing their money at them... and as far as most companies are concerned, that's a validation for everything they do above all else.

I am always really sad to see a game like Watchdogs or BF4 do well, it just means we can expect the people behind those games to push the industry in the wrong direction further and further. And the money they're using to do it isn't falling from the sky, it's coming from us, so I don't see any reason why blame can't be put on us as well. People need to make things change if they want a change, and the only way to do that is to answer with their wallet.

 

[nevarran]

Ubisoft made it perfectly clear that they don't want my money years back. Haven't bought one of their products since, and never bloody will.

Same here. If Ubi don't give a shit about me, then I don't give a shit about them either.

 

[senkus]

Funfact: Both I Am Alive and Ghost Recon: Future Soldier did come out on PC in the end.

 

[Thanatos2k]

We can also say the same about Microsoft and their recent pathetic claims that they care about PC games.

 

[spoonybard.hahs]

I keep hearing that people have been/are needing to make separate Uplay accounts for each Ubisoft game. What.... am I doing differently? I've never had to do that. Not only in terms of different games, but different systems.

 

[Something Amyss]

Ubisoft has a point. It's a fact[footnote]DISCLAIMER: fact may be Factette, imitation fact-like susbtance[/footnote] that Ubisoft PC titles see a 207% rate of piracy. We haven't seen piracy this rampant since CD Projekt's claim that the Witcher was pirate 272 trillion times[footnote]I know I pulled that number out of my ass, but they pulled theirs out of their own asses, so I think it's fair[/footnote].

I am instantly reminded of that thread from a few months ago asking why people hated EA more than Ubisoft. Things a bit more clear on why that question was asked.

In fairness, almost every issue with EA hits every platform, while most of these are PC-oriented. It's very easy to see why EA gets more hate.

Another instance of Uplay shutting down: December 2012.

In fairness, they probably didn't bother because the world was ending. At least, until Assassin's Creed became too popular to end the human race for.

But if people stop buying PC Ubisoft games, then I can't keep laughing at the same people who get excited about a ubi game, preorder it, get disappointed, FORGET ALL OF THIS, and do it again.

Plus, they'll just blame hat 319%[footnote]The rate has actually managed to go up since I started writing[/footnote] piracy rate anyway.

The beauty of a presuppositional position in which everyone who wants your stuff is either a loyal customer or a filthy fucking pirate.

So yeah, if people keep buying, at least there will be entertainment.

 

[Something Amyss]

It reminds me of Dark Souls in the opposite fashion. From Software basically said "Hey guys we really dont have the talent or resources to make a PC version, but you asked for it so me made it. Sorry for the bugs" and they did a muuuuch better job on part 2, but the difference is they were honest and humble about it. I really don't get why Ubisoft has to be such dicks about everything. Why not simply be nice and garner fan support?

To follow the example, though, From being open about it and even supposedly improving didn't stop the fans from bitching ad nauseum.

At that point, I wonder what benefit there is to being nice. Ubisoft can be dicks and still sell their games, so what motive is there?

 

[Catasros]

this is all a bad joke, right? A bad, tasteless joke? Right? Ubisoft can't possibly be this much a bunch of moronic bastards, right? No?

. . . Is there ANY game publishers out there that we can still trust? At all?

 

[NuclearKangaroo]

i definitively recognize Jim's catchphrase more than whatshisname's cap

if ubi want to have its own distribution platform, fine, but atleast freaking try, at this point even origin is better, atleast you get some free games

 

[umbraticus]

i think this says it all.

Spoiler

 

[youji itami]

C'mon Jim enough is enough! you have rightfully criticized Ubisoft, EA, Square Enix, Capcom and Konami but you have to share the hatred!

Take Two, Activision and Bethesda need some of your dedicated love as well over a whole video (rather than just a line).

 

[Thanatos2k]

Ironically Child of Light is a good PC port. Of course the team that makes the niche game cares more about their users than the bloated AAA teams.

 

[Thanatos2k]

I'll just leave this here.

http://whatifgaming.com/the-division-developer-insider-we-already-downgraded-a-few-things

Wow, this is despicable.

"a lot of push coming from publishers to not make the experience so different on consoles as to alienate people into thinking that next generation is not as powerful as PC"

Average PC hardware is better than the "next gen" consoles? YOU DON'T SAY! Gotta keep the stupid people ignorant, or else they might notice something is amiss!