Job hunting: Did this just happen?!

[Fox12]

That's when I learned that a job interview is about saying what they want to hear and not the truth.

I was lucky enough to know someone who hires often for her job, and she told me this early. I basically described the opposite of my personality.

"I consider myself a people person. I'm very outgoing, and love to keep busy. I have a strong work ethic, and believe in doing quality work for the sake of it."

Bullshit! *****, I'm broke!

OT: I did have one really shady interview offer. I was at a friends house, and I got a call telling me that they wanted to interview me for sales representative position. I used to be a tutor, and one of my coworkers had apparently brought my name up to be interviewed. They started asking me for my work history.

"Well, I was president of BCM, Student Council, and worked as-"

*Immediately cut me off*

Wow, good work experience. Can you be here tomorrow?"

"Uh, okay."

At first I was touched that a coworker remembered me, but then I saw that it was a scam, and that everyone was getting shady calls. Needless to say, I didn't show up for the interview. I posted on facebook to avoid the company, and the coworker got mad at me. Apparently she made commission by dragging people into the company, so messed up her plans.

 

[cathou]

How about D) Look and ask around to see if someone ordered a candy bar before you. If no one speaks up or no one comes around before you leave this area. Take home and enjoy or give to someone you know. I mean by that point he or she has probably given up on the candy bar. The other possibility is that the vending machine loader improperly put the candy bar in the machine and you've just won an unintended lottery.

B) Just pays for the next person who's equally undeserving as you to receive an extra candy bar.

C) Can be seen as bad in two ways. If you leave it on top of the machine, just like B), someone who's just as equally undeserving as you will take it. Or people will just will wander past the machine thinking what possessed someone to place a candy bar on top of the machine. They'll think something's wrong with that candy bar and no one will take it. Then over the course of days and weeks, that chocolate has melted into some horribly melty and nearly inedible mess. Finally, someone will just throw the candy bar to spare the machine from getting any more dirty and in the end

d would have been good, except it was them that provide the coice, and since it was an online forme, you could just click a,b or c. you cannot add d...

i clicked A and i had a message that i wasnt the kind of person that they were looking for for a job as a tech, but that they would offer me a sale job.

not honest enough to be a tech, but not too much a crook to be a sale rep...

 

[Kmadden2004]

Not really a job interview type situation, but a family member once put me in contact with a guy who ran a graphic design/animation company who had seen my portfolio, was impressed with my website, was interested in getting me involved in a project at some point in the future, and floated the idea of commissioning a kind of "audition piece" from me, and said I should send him an e-mail.

I was in the middle of working on a crap-tonne of animations for an iOS game (crunch time too, so all my attention was on that), but fired off a polite and enthusiastic e-mail to the guy that basically said "I'd love to work with you, but just so you know, I have this other job going on at the moment that's going to be eating up all my time for the next couple of weeks, so i'm going to be unavailable to work on any commissions until that's all locked down, but I'd be more than happy to talk about any projects or commissions you had in mind in the meantime." Like I said, polite and enthusiastic, but still maintaining at least some degree of professional decorum.

Silence from the guy. Couple of weeks later I get a phone call from the family member saying she'd bumped into the guy, who claimed I'd basically fobbed him off, and that I didn't sound at all interested in what he had to offer. She gave me his number and told me he was expecting my call, so I did that very day and left a message on his machine saying, once again, that I'd love to work on any project he had in mind, and left my contact details.

Still silence from the guy.

Family member's since been in touch and said he decided against working with me because I hadn't sound "enthusiastic enough."

My response to the that? Bull. F--king. Sh-t. If I wasn't enthusiastic, i wouldn't have sent the bloody e-mail in the first place, let alone called him on the f--king phone. Frankly, I'm thinking I might have dodged a bullet on that one.

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

"I equip my jacket of +2 Charisma and roll for persuasion"

I wonder what response that would have got?

oh god, thanks for that, first lol of the morning.


OT:

that sounds shady as fuck OP, glad nothing came of it (not for you not getting a job, just that you didn't get lured to some perverts place of doom or something)

I've been checking around craigslist jobs just for the lulz (and to see what is on there) and most of them seem...a bit "off", like you're getting hired under the table or it's not a reputable place to work at, so I'm probably never going to take one on there if I can help it.

I do remember interviewing for my job at a call center (fucking blew ass, every day someone worked there it looked like they were getting closer and closer to coming in one day and shooting everyone as a mercy killing) about 3 years ago, and they were extremely aggressive with their questioning, and when we got to the end of the interview, I mentioned I was in college so if it was at all possible I'd have to work around my classes, to which case, that was end of the interview, apparently he didn't like that at all...2 days later I got another interview with a different interview person, didn't mention college, and boom got the job in an instant, then after I got hired and met my trainer, he said he got college kids all the time and didn't have a problem working around my schedule (so why the fuck did that interviewer have such a problem?) so that worked for 2 semesters in college.


captcha:

they are watching


...that is fucking creepy as hell that came up on this thread specifically lol

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

snip
Still silence from the guy.

Family member's since been in touch and said he decided against working with me because I hadn't sound "enthusiastic enough."

My response to the that? Bull. F--king. Sh-t. If I wasn't enthusiastic, i wouldn't have sent the bloody e-mail in the first place, let alone called him on the f--king phone. Frankly, I'm thinking I might have dodged a bullet on that one.

yeah this guy sounds like a sociopathic arrogant asshole, if you wouldn't work by his exact schedule and demands, then you weren't worthy in his master plan.

 

[Zombie_Fish]

I've thankfully never had any bad work experiences like that.

My little sister on the other hand once had a part-time job while she was doing her A Levels. It was for a photography company, and basically consisted of her standing in the street handing out leaflets and getting people to sign up for photography sessions. Not a great job but she was doing well at it.

She was then fired without being given any reason for doing so (at least I think that was the case). By the looks of other people who were also fired, the main reason seemed to be to kick people out before they could receive their first paycheque.

This pissed her off, so she did the sensible thing and told our dad. In response, he crafted the perfect angry Irish father email and sent it to the company, who then very quickly paid my sister for her work.

My sisters don't always see eye to eye with our dad, but that was just beautiful.

that can happen.

I prefer SMBC's answers to that question:
http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=2150
http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=3407

 

[The_Waspman]

That does sound suspicious as heckers.

I once replied to an online application that was way too cheerful and upbeat, but I was kind of desperate for work at that point. It was all:
"ARE YOU LOOKING FOR AN EXCITING NEW WORK DYNAMIC? DO YOU HAVE A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOUR? CAN YOU KEEP UP IN A FAST PACED ENVIRONMENT? WE HAVE EXACTLY THE KIND OF JOB FOR YOU!"

Yes, it was actually in all caps too.

The application said it was for an Admin/IT role. So I got a reply telling me to turn up to an interview at 9am. When I got there it seemed okay, if kind of small for a company. They were renting out an office inside a bigger building. I think there were about 5 other people sat down waiting for an interview.

I went in, and the only questions they asked me were if I could start right away, and how much experience I had in sales. I told them that I thought it was for an admin/IT role, since that's definitely what the advert said. He said the actual job was door to door sales, and that if I agreed to an on-the-job interview then I could possibly be hired by the end of the day.

I was young and naive so I said yes, because I mean what's the worst that can happen? (Kids, don't do this, the worst that can happen is probably murder or sex trafficking. Seriously don't ever do this)

The guys I went around with doing sales were friendly, thank god. They did all the talking and all I had to do was hold the leaflets and stuff. We were trying to sign people up for regular charity donations. It lasted all freakin' day, and I was still out at around 5pm. Eventually my mum got worried sick and kept phoning, and it's probably good that she did. She ordered me home and they got me on the train back safely. Didn't get home til 9pm. :/

I was very, very lucky it was just a lightweight scam to get door to door sales people. It could've ended so much worse. -_-


Still unemployed, btw. I've become a lot more careful going to interviews now. It's probably made me too paranoid....

I had a similar experience with a job once, with a "marketing" company (who advertise across a wide range of experience backgrounds - I was coming out of retail at the time). I had a bit of a hassle confirming the interview, because they were being vague about the times.

Anyway, I show up - not really knowing what to expect, because of that inherent vagueness, and find I'm not the only person being "interviewed". There are about 16 other candidates. I was asked if I was free until eight pm, and I told them yes, because it was going to be - as it seems yours was - a full day "observation".

Well, the offices were in a different city, so there was the commute issue, only for me to discover that today we're canvassing back in my hometown. Ok... I'm out with one of the companies leading salesmen, and he's giving me all this friendly advice and banter about how the job works, and all of this marketing bullshit and then we're out all day going round low income neighborhoods essentially trying to con people into mobile phone contracts. All day he's being all friendly and chatty with me, before throwing me oblique curveball questions about when and how I could work for them. Well, 8pm rolls around, and we're on the final "sale" of the day, which is taking a while because its the end of the day, and once we're done, I'm thinking "great, I can go home now". Nope, gotta go all the way back to the office for a "debrief", then drag myself all the way back home again afterwards.

I was stupid enough to accept the job offer, but did at least give myself a few days before I told them I could start. Of course, when I did, they told me - for the first time - it was Own Terms Employment, which meant that it was all commission based, and yet the only "training" we got was for all the newbies to be shepherded into a room together where we had to pitch to each other over and over again, repeatedly been told to do our scripts with more confidence! More enthusiasm! before being taken to another low income neighborhood where we once again had to go door to door all day and try to con people.

I did that for two days. Two days I put up with this absolute torrent of capitalist marketing bullshit, where we were actively encouraged to lie to people to achieve our targets, and yet where it was impossible for me to "close" any sales, and therefore to make any money. I was expected to work 12 hours a day, six days a week, and after our first day out, when we didn't hit a single target, one of the bosses asked me, in an accusing tone, why we hadn't done so. Like it was my fault. Because I'd never done this before. And hadn't received any training.

The second day when I went in, exhausted, grossly unhappy, and depressed, I was instructed to head straight into "atmosphere" (the pitching room) where we had to go through the same rigmarole, before one of the area manages came in, probably all coked up, and gave us all this inspiring marketing figures talk. I looked around the room to see all these compliant faces and realised I was in a hellish cross of the episode of Futurama where the 80s guy takes over and when Louis Theroux met the Ku Klux Klan. Like at any moment, someone was going to turn around and see me, realise that I wasn't meant to be there, and they'd all go pod people on me.

So yeah, don't work in sales. And don't accept anything from people who do.

 

[Mid Boss]

I remember going in for a security job interview. I had worked security at another company for years so I figured this would be a piece of cake. Well the company didn't have security before. This was their first time implementing it. Most of the interview was asking me about policies and practices of my former security job. Which I went into great length about because I was eager to please. Then they didn't hire me.

That's when I realized they just wanted tips on how to run their security. I was a consultant without evening knowing it and I didn't get a dime for it. I felt so used.

 

[DanielBrown]

All my interviews and jobs have been quite weird.
My first job was at a delivery company. Came in for an interview and got told I was to do a "test run" to see if I was up for it. Right before that they said I wouldn't get any pay for it(which I really disapproved of, but I needed the job)... Then nothing. A few days later they called me in for work again and I had no clue what was going on.
Asked the boss if I was hired or not and he just laughed and walked away.

Worked there for a few months before getting another job(where I went from interview to being hired within five minutes). These guys seemed more serious, but as time went on I realised how much we were taken advantage of. I still work for them when there are job offerings, but they dropped me down since I declined a "promotion".

My third job I got without any interview. Sent in my CV. The next day I got a call where they asked me to come in the following morning. Made some good friends there and I really like the job since I get to be indoors for once, but the work manager drives me insane. He keeps telling me I'm "guaranteed" for at least month of full time work, then I get ~three days before he says he has to let me go for now. Three times he's done that and I've only been there for about 12 work days so far(started in November).

 

[Mid Boss]

snip

snip

Oh God I hear you. I applied for this transcriptionist job at this company only to find out it was a bait and switch. They hired forty people but there were only one open transcriptionist position. Only the person who scored the highest during training got it while the rest of us got put on "waiting". Of course, "waiting" meant you got put into the telemarketing section of the company. None of us found this out until our training week was over. I kinda knew already since most of the training had to do with selling stuff and not transcribing. Half the people they hired didn't show up for the first day of work.

So, here I am suddenly working telemarketing. A kind of job I swore I'd never take unless I was homeless. But it wasn't the type of telemarketing where you called people. No no this is the NEW telemarketing where you wait for people to call you! Here's how it works!

You're up late, you see an ad for Shirley Temple's DVD collection or the new Turbo-tastic Super Blender something along those lines. So you call to buy it. You got me. My job was to take your order and then, while you were are the line, try to sell you as much extra crap as possible. Now, extra crap comes in two categories "up sales" and "additionals". Up Sales were what we tried to sell you first and they had something to do with the product you called for. So, you call for Shirley Temple DVDs and I try to sell you her music cds, decorative box set, glass figurine. This can go on for a while! By the time the up sale part was over most people were pretty annoyed and just wanted to get off the phone.

Then this is where it gets fun! This is when I tried to sell you Additionals which were products that had NOTHING to do with what you called in for. Magazine subscriptions, coupon packets, you've won a free cruise call this number to talk to a representative! ALL the stuff in the Additionals category were scams. If you gave me to OK to any of this crap they will NEVER stop charging your credit card. No matter how often you called and told them to stop. You will need to close your bank account and open a new one to escape them and that's when they start calling you demanding that you pay your bill.

The sad thing was, the initial sale and the Up Sales never factored into our performance. No, we were judged by how many Additionals we pushed in a week. You didn't sell enough Additionals and you got fired.

I lasted three weeks before I got up and walked out in the middle of my shift. It was the only time I've ever quit a job.

 

[Weaver]

I'm starting a job on Monday that seems sketchy as hell. I'm hoping it works out okay.

Basically, the company seems incredibly desperate for workers I'm just super concerned that they can't seem to find any. I got the job, yet I'm really not at all qualified.

Oh well, I worked a shit job in the past and learned my lesson. I won't be stuck in a place I hate if it comes to that.

 

[Fijiman]

I've yet to have a job interview myself, but I have applied to, or at least attempted to apply to, several places. One of the places I attempted to apply to was the TJ Maxx that had recently opened up in the mall. They will only take online applications. They also do the application process through a third party site. After signing up with the third party site I was then completely unable to locate jobs for the store I was trying to apply for and then proceeded to receive calls for about a month or two asking if I was interested in their college education plan despite saying no every time. They didn't get the message until I started hanging up on them every time they called, usually after shouting that I wasn't interested before they could say a word.

 

[Dr.Awkward]

Can we all agree that, as a generation, interviews should die with us? Despite being called "formal", they are by far the most unnatural way to directly analyze and gather information about a person's methods and their personality. After all, if it's HR's job to keep a emotionally comfortable work environment, why not do the same with applicants?

Now I've had my own experiences myself - One was with a manufacturing company looking for production work. Now I've done production before, and it was third shift which is the worst time-wise. (Falling asleep in the morning, waking up in the afternoon. Ugh.) I only showed up just to satisfy someone's concerns about my unemployment, and so I thought "sure, I'll fill out the forms, might as well get some of this paperwork out of the way." They wanted me in next Monday; I didn't realize they were going to do the whole process in a single day. I had no intention to take the job. So I sent off both an email and phone message declining the job the next day, worried I had to show up regardless. Fortunately they got the message before that day.

Yeah, I want my hiring process to take more than one step. Walking in and getting a job feels scummy enough.

All I can say is this - I'm unemployed again, and personally I'm done with most job board offers. I'm also done with where I am - It's practically nothing but low-pay high-physical jobs here, and looking to move out west despite what little money I have. I'd rather prefer to work with a small, young business where the connections feel more personal and the respect and inexperience is shared. Compare that to a big business where you don't really know your boss (or their boss, or their boss) and there's little room for error and you're under a probationary period, so a single screw-up would cost you your job. (And the US gov't really needs to divert funds into business incubators, but that's a different topic...)

 

[sky14kemea]

snip

Yes!! That's almost exactly what happened to me! I was taken on a train too so we could go door to door in a new area because they'd done around my city already.

Thanks to my mum I was able to go straight home before the debrief thing they wanted me to do, which meant I couldn't get the job.

Those places are shady as fuck.

 

[The_Waspman]

Yes!! That's almost exactly what happened to me! I was taken on a train too so we could go door to door in a new area because they'd done around my city already.

Thanks to my mum I was able to go straight home before the debrief thing they wanted me to do, which meant I couldn't get the job.

Those places are shady as fuck.

What really sucked for me was on my first actual day, we were going out with a few potential recruits, and they were only with us for an hour or two before they were told to return to the office. And yet for some reason I has to be there a whole day?

The worst thing is, that as shady as this company was/is, its a major marketing company, who had a bunch of major, national clients. None of whom I would ever do business with now.

 

[The_Waspman]

Yeah, I want my hiring process to take more than one step. Walking in and getting a job feels scummy enough.

Thats pretty much how I got my current job, which I loathe, but I have no way out of. Its a major red flag when you go through an interview, saying you have no product knowledge, and show very little enthusiasm, and get offered the job anyway.

 

[Blow_Pop]

The best/worst I've gotten was when I was 19 and applying to work for Target (company name not omitted because fuck Target for this). I got an interview (mind you this Target was 15-30 min walking distance from my house but only like 5 mins driving distance but I didn't have a driver's license so I had rollerblades and a bicycle and walking for transportation unless I caught a ride with someone) and I was doing great...until we got to the question of "What would you do if you caught one of your friends stealing?" Well...my answer has always been the same since before then. I have a basic philosophy in life that ALL my friends know. If you steal from my work and I catch you or find out, we are NO LONGER friends and I will turn your ass in. My answer to the interviewer was simply "friends don't steal from other friend's places of employment and I'd turn them in for it." Which for a 19 year old is a fairly good answer. Or at least I thought so (and still do). Well the interviewer gave me this incredulous look of disbelief and questioned me. First she asked me the same question again. I gave the same answer. Then she went "really? are you sure you would" and kept at asking me repeatedly for about 5 minutes. Ever since then I haven't been able to get an interview there or ever be hired. And I wasn't hired then. Pretty sure the lady thought I was lying. That's the worst I've ever had.

 

[pearcinator]

I hate interviews!

I just had one about an hour ago (they called out of the blue, no preparation, just winging it). I always fumble and miss questions. No wonder I am unemployed if this is what is required to actually get a job. Show a random you've never met that you're the kind of guy that they want in the space of a 30 minutes? (and what kind of guy is that exactly? who knows!)

Just last week I had an interview and this was one of the questions;

"If I were to interview 10 'Luke's today, what would make you stand out from the other 9?"

What kind of question is that? Here's another;

"I wan't you to forget all about teaching and answer the next question without any reference to teaching or education...why did you contact this teaching agency?"

ummm ok.

It's really frustrating because you can't prepare for these obscure questions. It's like taking an exam where all the questions are missing the key words or having to do an impromptu speech. So flawed. It advantages people who can ramble on about shit and disadvantages others who need time to think and prepare an effective and appropriate response. I may not (and probably won't) get this job based on 15 minutes of speaking over the phone to a complete stranger who wanted to interview me without letting me prepare...I was in the middle of cooking lunch for fuck's sake!

 

[Chessrook44]

I've only been to a few interviews (One I got the job then and there, two or three were interviews in a group (As in they interviewed a dozen of us AT ONCE), and the last one is the job I have now.), but the thing I hate more than interviews? Online applications.

Oh don't get me wrong. The part where you fill out things like name, education, job history, all that crap is fine. But the QUESTIONAIRE... so many of these online applications have ridiculous questions that can make the stupid interview questions seem reasonable... especially because you are stuck rating on a scale of how strongly you agree or disagree or left choosing from specific options. And if you don't PRECISELY match the answers they're looking for there, well... bugger off, we'll not even tell you.

It's like taking a multiple choice quiz when there was no material to study and you only hear back if you got a 95%.