John Dickfist: PI

[smearyllama]

So, while trying to get to sleep one night, and thinking about stuff, I came up with the idea for John Dickfist: PI, also known as the greatest show of all time.
It stars John Dickfist, a private detective with a third fist.
In his crotch.
The show follows his adventures fighting crime in the dark streets of the city, where dangerous things happen.
Of course, the third fist would never be shown, except for shots where it just comes from the bottom of the screen to punch someone in the jaw.

So, what crazy ideas for TV shows have you guys come up with?

 

[The Artificially Prolonged]

As long as that character doesn't have any sex scenes, I'd watch that show.

 

[smearyllama]

As long as that character doesn't have any sex scenes, I'd watch that show.

He might, but you wouldn't actually see anything. The complicated bits would be obscured by something, like how you never see anything but the forearm coming from the bottom of the screen.

 

[smearyllama]

As long as that character doesn't have any sex scenes, I'd watch that show.

He might, but you wouldn't actually see anything. The complicated bits would be obscured by something, like how you never see anything but the forearm coming from the bottom of the screen.

Wait, so his fists are not, indeed, dicks?

OT: Televised porn. Of my own, weird design. Incorporating every fetish on the internet. Every. One. All in the name of putting HBO, FOX, and every other network I hate out of work.

Nope, sorry.
That'd be hard (no pun intended) to put on TV, seeing as how censoring would be a nightmare.

 

[ZeroMachine]

A man so drunk that he believed his dick was "The Elder Dick", a dick with magical powers that can cast spells from Harry Potter. You should see him swish-and-flick.

 

[RicoGrey]

All I have read is the title, WHATEVER THIS IS I WILL WATCH IT!!!!

 

[Ulquiorra4sama]

Give me some of whatever you're smoking and we'll see if we can't get this idea train moving

 

[smearyllama]

Give me some of whatever you're smoking and we'll see if we can't get this idea train moving

I think I had a chicken salad sandwich that day...
Does that help?

 

[nolongerhere]

Your idea is fantastic. No doubt about that. But how about some other characters? Like Dick Whiskey, drunken cop [http://www.cracked.com/blog/dick-whiskey-drunk-cop-comic/]. Get some more stuff like this in there, and truly this idea will achieve godhood, and strike us all down for our arrogance.

 

[Ulquiorra4sama]

Give me some of whatever you're smoking and we'll see if we can't get this idea train moving

I think I had a chicken salad sandwich that day...
Does that help?

Maybe... but i can't get a hold of a chicken sandwich on a sunday so i'll have to get back to you on this.

If you want ridiculous ideas you could always watch this

 

[smearyllama]

Your idea is fantastic. No doubt about that. But how about some other characters? Like Dick Whiskey, drunken cop [http://www.cracked.com/blog/dick-whiskey-drunk-cop-comic/]. Get some more stuff like this in there, and truly this idea will achieve godhood, and strike us all down for our arrogance.

The problem is, I can't think of any more ideas to go with it.
My sister says I should just do TV pilots, and make an entire show out of one-off pilots.
Like my idea for the French A-Team.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

All I have read is the title, WHATEVER THIS IS I WILL WATCH IT!!!!

see that non-porn thing you're thinking?

its that.

OT: That Guy.
basically its this one guy and he sees people every day and then the show follows how he affects them.
The series opens with him bumping into someone and knocking a file down the drain, causing the person to have to re-print it and then get asked out while waiting for the broken printer to get fixed, which causes him to not commit suicide (he was going to hand in the file then jump).

 

[smearyllama]

All I have read is the title, WHATEVER THIS IS I WILL WATCH IT!!!!

see that non-porn thing you're thinking?

its that.

OT: That Guy.
basically its this one guy and he sees people every day and then the show follows how he affects them.
The series opens with him bumping into someone and knocking a file down the drain, causing the person to have to re-print it and then get asked out while waiting for the broken printer to get fixed, which causes him to not commit suicide (he was going to hand in the file then jump).

Kind of like in Run Lola Run, where we see all the different outcomes of Lola's interactions with the people she runs into while running?
Sounds great.

 

[nolongerhere]

Your idea is fantastic. No doubt about that. But how about some other characters? Like Dick Whiskey, drunken cop [http://www.cracked.com/blog/dick-whiskey-drunk-cop-comic/]. Get some more stuff like this in there, and truly this idea will achieve godhood, and strike us all down for our arrogance.

The problem is, I can't think of any more ideas to go with it.
My sister says I should just do TV pilots, and make an entire show out of one-off pilots.
Like my idea for the French A-Team.

I'm gonna work on this, and if I think of anything, I'm going to throw it at you. They'll probably be stupid, and if they're not dumb, they'll be crazy. However, as we're starting with a man who punches people with his dick, I'm going to have to work hard to take this further down the path of insanity.

 

[SonofaJohannes]

War Hippy. The tale of an unlikely superhero who took a bit too much of the wrong stuff. Radioactive stuff. Whenever he senses negative thoughts he goes into a rage, beating everything with a lead pipe. Now he must fight the man, the system and whoever is unlucky enough to cross hos path while in a bad mood.

 

[smearyllama]

Your idea is fantastic. No doubt about that. But how about some other characters? Like Dick Whiskey, drunken cop [http://www.cracked.com/blog/dick-whiskey-drunk-cop-comic/]. Get some more stuff like this in there, and truly this idea will achieve godhood, and strike us all down for our arrogance.

The problem is, I can't think of any more ideas to go with it.
My sister says I should just do TV pilots, and make an entire show out of one-off pilots.
Like my idea for the French A-Team.

I'm gonna work on this, and if I think of anything, I'm going to throw it at you. They'll probably be stupid, and if they're not dumb, they'll be crazy. However, as we're starting with a man who punches people with his dick, I'm going to have to work hard to take this further down the path of insanity.

Go ahead and do what you want, but remember me if this turns into an actual thing.
I'm just glad there's someone who can use the ideas.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

All I have read is the title, WHATEVER THIS IS I WILL WATCH IT!!!!

see that non-porn thing you're thinking?

its that.

OT: That Guy.
basically its this one guy and he sees people every day and then the show follows how he affects them.
The series opens with him bumping into someone and knocking a file down the drain, causing the person to have to re-print it and then get asked out while waiting for the broken printer to get fixed, which causes him to not commit suicide (he was going to hand in the file then jump).

Kind of like in Run Lola Run, where we see all the different outcomes of Lola's interactions with the people she runs into while running?
Sounds great.

no, only in the pilot does he directly interact with someone. in the other episodes he just sees them. its just some random person.
never even heard of Run Lola Run...

 

[ChuQue37]

First off, you sir, need to visit www.oglaf.com

Second, how 'bout Mari King Snatch, secret admirer of John Dickfist?

Pretty nasty if you get the subtle pun

"Dick Whiskey was sitting at the bar, double fisting it like there was no tomorow"

For the pilot, it could start out with a crime scene

A woman is crying

A cop says, "Look, I know this is devastatin'. But there's nothing we can do. If you really want this one cracked open, you need to see a P.I. I hear there's a good one. Heh, if you don't mind me sayin' so, they say he has a dick the length and girth of 'is arm. He's the best. In fact... He's been here all along!"

POW! Forearm from the crotch punches her in the face.

Cut to opening

Get a real Noir feeling, New York gangster style.

Raining all the time

The main villain could be Carl E. Puebies

I swear, if I don't see a copyright on this in three months, this idea is MINE.