Just a little opinion here please

[Nickolai77]

Right, about four months ago i made a post on a website which my old 6th form college friends use (more or less exclusivly). This post was baisically an outpouring of emotions i experienced following looking through my ex girlfriends facebook profile. The reason why i posted it on this website was because i was worried that, after two years after i dumped her, i was still feeling severe emotional kickback from it, and wanted to, well a) express myself to my friends, and b)to get some advise from my friends about it.

Anyway, yesterday my ex posts something on my wall, asking "why the hell did you make a post about me online?". Now, at first i had no idea what she was talking about, i had completly forgotten about that post i made 4 months ago, so i emailed her back asking her to provide a link. She later replied with the link to the post i made, and told me she wanted it deleted, or she will tell her parents.

I've just replied back saying that if she wants i'll edit the post so to remove her name from it, or ask the adminstrator to move my post to the more private "elite" forum, which only website members can view. I've said nothing harsh against her, in fact i even paint her in a positive light. Just to give you a general idea of how the post is written.-

" I browse through the photos of her, and i see her her posing, smiling, wearing them same old clothes she always used to wear... Is it me or has she grown more beautiful? I go through every single photo, feeling an increasing tension in my gut and mixed emotions in my head: Nostalgia, sadness, anger, guilt, and maybe even fear.

So, my question to you, members of the Escapist, is should i remove that post or not?

 

[Good morning blues]

Yes, you should remove it, and frankly she shouldn't have needed to tell you to.

Look at it from her point of view: her ex-boyfriend creeped her facebook profile and then wrote a (probably lengthy) "outpouring of emotions" before posting it in a public place. I don't want to be harsh, but that's creep behaviour. Wanting to talk about it with your friends is one thing, but writing things like "I go through every single photo, feeling an increasing tension in my gut and mixed emotions in my head: Nostalgia, sadness, anger, guilt, and maybe even fear" and posting it in a public place is another thing entirely.

 

[Rockatansky]

Yes, you should remove it, and frankly she shouldn't have needed to tell you to.

Look at it from her point of view: her ex-boyfriend creeped her facebook profile and then wrote a (probably lengthy) "outpouring of emotions" before posting it in a public place. I don't want to be harsh, but that's creep behaviour. Wanting to talk about it with your friends is one thing, but writing things like "I go through every single photo, feeling an increasing tension in my gut and mixed emotions in my head: Nostalgia, sadness, anger, guilt, and maybe even fear" and posting it in a public place is another thing entirely.

Bingo. This, seconded.

 

[Nickolai77]

Yes, you should remove it, and frankly she shouldn't have needed to tell you to.

Look at it from her point of view: her ex-boyfriend creeped her facebook profile and then wrote a (probably lengthy) "outpouring of emotions" before posting it in a public place. I don't want to be harsh, but that's creep behaviour. Wanting to talk about it with your friends is one thing, but writing things like "I go through every single photo, feeling an increasing tension in my gut and mixed emotions in my head: Nostalgia, sadness, anger, guilt, and maybe even fear" and posting it in a public place is another thing entirely.

Alright, your opinion is noted. Although, in my opinion there was nothing wrong with me going through her facebook profile- after all, that is public, and i know she had gone through mine and posted a few offensive things on there...so as you can imagine there is a lot of hate between us, and that's probably led me to lose a bit of touch with reality. Thanks for your honest opinion, i'll wait a few more hours for more replies to come through before doing anything.

 

[The_Graff]

Yes, you should remove it, and frankly she shouldn't have needed to tell you to.

Look at it from her point of view: her ex-boyfriend creeped her facebook profile and then wrote a (probably lengthy) "outpouring of emotions" before posting it in a public place. I don't want to be harsh, but that's creep behaviour. Wanting to talk about it with your friends is one thing, but writing things like "I go through every single photo, feeling an increasing tension in my gut and mixed emotions in my head: Nostalgia, sadness, anger, guilt, and maybe even fear" and posting it in a public place is another thing entirely.

thirded. she can only see you as a stalker. if you want to get back together with her then deleting the post might not be a bad move.

 

[Mekado]

Well, regardless of the tone of what you posted is and regardless of what it is exactly there's no upside to leaving it up and there's a major downside ; starting a war with your ex.

I'm not sure telling her parents will do much but if she's really pissed at this for whatever reason, it'd just start a war you (hopefully?) don't want any part in.

 

[HotFezz8]

ok mate before we start? you can't post anything onto the internet to "talk to your friends about it", because to (this isn't nice, its true though) we are not your friends. to "talk to your friends" about it, you need to find a friend, take him down to thte nearest pub, then talk his ear off for hours.

no one on the web really cares. and if you do start yelling at them, they just turn the pc off.

secondly it was posted a while ago, so it won't hurt anyone to remove it, although it could potentially hurt you to keep it there. that said, you broke up! you probably shouldn't give a f*ck what she wants or thinks..?

 

[HotFezz8]

Yes, you should remove it, and frankly she shouldn't have needed to tell you to.

Look at it from her point of view: her ex-boyfriend creeped her facebook profile and then wrote a (probably lengthy) "outpouring of emotions" before posting it in a public place. I don't want to be harsh, but that's creep behaviour. Wanting to talk about it with your friends is one thing, but writing things like "I go through every single photo, feeling an increasing tension in my gut and mixed emotions in my head: Nostalgia, sadness, anger, guilt, and maybe even fear" and posting it in a public place is another thing entirely.

Alright, your opinion is noted. Although, in my opinion there was nothing wrong with me going through her facebook profile- after all, that is public, and i know she had gone through mine and posted a few offensive things on there...so as you can imagine there is a lot of hate between us, and that's probably led me to lose a bit of touch with reality. Thanks for your honest opinion, i'll wait a few more hours for more replies to come through before doing anything.

wouldn't a logical first step after breaking up with her to have been to un-friend her on facebook? then take all her stuff out your room and bin it?

 

[Nickolai77]

ok mate before we start? you can't post anything onto the internet to "talk to your friends about it", because to (this isn't nice, its true though) we are not your friends. to "talk to your friends" about it, you need to find a friend, take him down to thte nearest pub, then talk his ear off for hours.

no one on the web really cares. and if you do start yelling at them, they just turn the pc off.

secondly it was posted a while ago, so it won't hurt anyone to remove it, although it could potentially hurt you to keep it there. that said, you broke up! you probably shouldn't give a f*ck what she wants or thinks..?

heh, the people on that site are actually my friends IRL, i have known most of them for about 5 years, having been through high school and 6th form college together, the website was set up and is moderated by my friends, there are only a couple of regular users on the site who are outside my friendship circle.

wouldn't a logical first step after breaking up with her to have been to un-friend her on facebook? then take all her stuff out your room and bin it?

She got facebook about 6 months after i dumped her, and later to my surprise she sent me a friend request. I suppose i should have denied it.


For the record, i've emailed the admin of the site to remove the thread. However what's really infurating (and worrying) me is the fact that i have found it that it was not my ex who found that thread,(she knows i go on that website) but rather her "online boyfriend". This has...well disturbed me slightly. He must know what websites i go on, and be...checking up on me based on what my ex is telling him. I could laugh it off and joke that i thought only famous people had stalkers, or perhaps it was just innocent curosity which prompted him to visit hollowshrine. But then again, he found a topic which was about 3 months old...suggesting he must have been doing a bit of "digging" as it were. Or perhaps i'm just over-reacting, perhaps were all been turned into mad hatters from this nonsense.

Hell, i don't want any more of this lunacy, im considering deleting her from my facebook account to severe contact with her for good, do people here think i should do that? I was almost ashamed of myself at the time for still getting worked up over an event which happend over a year ago and having the need to make a post about it- but if i have someone has the need for "checking up" on me, a good year and a half after i dumped her...i really should not be dragged into it.

 

[Mekado]

Hell, i don't want any more of this lunacy, im considering deleting her from my facebook account to severe contact with her for good, do people here think i should do that? I was almost ashamed of myself at the time for still getting worked up over an event which happend over a year ago and having the need to make a post about it- but if i have someone has the need for "checking up" on me, a good year and a half after i dumped her...i really should not be dragged into it.

Yeah you should delete her imo.Also her online boyfriend might have found it via Google ? i learned recently that alot of people google other people just to see what it comes up with... (i'm lucky enough to have a common name, nobody would ever find anything they can, with 100% accuracy, pin on me )

 

[TylerC]

I agree with Good morning blues. The fact you even included her name, and just the portion of the post you provided is very creepy.

"I go through every single photo" I think you have a problem there, buddy.

 

[MattRooney06]

:S its a touchy subject as she did ask you to remove it

but at the end of the day you have done nothing wrong, and if you had a meanignfull relationship with her then its normal to miss her for aaaaaaaaages

 

[cuddly_tomato]

I would. Unless she was being really bitchy about asking for it to be removed, in which case I would post a picture of her to teach her some manners.

Your call though dude, from the way you described it you haven't actually done anything wrong.

 

[Tiny116]

Well i expect that it freaked her out a bit. And makes you sound like a facebook stalker...so yeah get rid of it

EDIT:

Yeah you should delete her imo.Also her online boyfriend might have found it via Google ? i learned recently that alot of people google other people just to see what it comes up with... (i'm lucky enough to have a common name, nobody would ever find anything they can, with 100% accuracy, pin on me )

Plus if he googled the name you use on this forum, then it's likely that the actual topic came up, a lot of forum websites do that. Particuarly(SP) Invisionfree.

 

[DeadlyYellow]

I agree with Good morning blues. The fact you even included her name, and just the portion of the post you provided is very creepy.

"I go through every single photo" I think you have a problem there, buddy.

Let's add to the fact that this is TWO YEARS after the breakup. Suck it up and move on.

 

[DemonicVixen]

For the record, i've emailed the admin of the site to remove the thread. However what's really infurating (and worrying) me is the fact that i have found it that it was not my ex who found that thread,(she knows i go on that website) but rather her "online boyfriend". This has...well disturbed me slightly. He must know what websites i go on, and be...checking up on me based on what my ex is telling him. I could laugh it off and joke that i thought only famous people had stalkers, or perhaps it was just innocent curosity which prompted him to visit hollowshrine. But then again, he found a topic which was about 3 months old...suggesting he must have been doing a bit of "digging" as it were. Or perhaps i'm just over-reacting, perhaps were all been turned into mad hatters from this nonsense.

Is there any way the thread could have been re-activated and he just happened to come across it? I've done that before with an old thread/post of mine... Might just be pure chance.

 

[BonsaiK]

Right, about four months ago i made a post on a website which my old 6th form college friends use (more or less exclusivly). This post was baisically an outpouring of emotions i experienced following looking through my ex girlfriends facebook profile. The reason why i posted it on this website was because i was worried that, after two years after i dumped her, i was still feeling severe emotional kickback from it, and wanted to, well a) express myself to my friends, and b)to get some advise from my friends about it.

Anyway, yesterday my ex posts something on my wall, asking "why the hell did you make a post about me online?". Now, at first i had no idea what she was talking about, i had completly forgotten about that post i made 4 months ago, so i emailed her back asking her to provide a link. She later replied with the link to the post i made, and told me she wanted it deleted, or she will tell her parents.

I've just replied back saying that if she wants i'll edit the post so to remove her name from it, or ask the adminstrator to move my post to the more private "elite" forum, which only website members can view. I've said nothing harsh against her, in fact i even paint her in a positive light. Just to give you a general idea of how the post is written.-

" I browse through the photos of her, and i see her her posing, smiling, wearing them same old clothes she always used to wear... Is it me or has she grown more beautiful? I go through every single photo, feeling an increasing tension in my gut and mixed emotions in my head: Nostalgia, sadness, anger, guilt, and maybe even fear.

So, my question to you, members of the Escapist, is should i remove that post or not?

This question has been answered in the Relationship Problem thread, which is at the following link: ----> http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.117161-Relationship-problem-thread?page=23#4811427

 

[Outright Villainy]

Including her name is a bad idea I think. You can have a good rant about it if you want, but giving specific details online is unnesecary and out of line. It's your choice if you want to pour out your emotions online, and you can say anything about yourself, but it's not fair on someone if they're name is mentioned, things are said about them, and they have no choice in the matter.

Edit: I know you said it was mainly your friends on the site; if that were the reason, why not talk them privately, or at least not on a forum or such? If it's public anyone can read it.

 

[Rednog]

Personally, I wouldn't.
If someone told me do X or I'll tell my parents on you, I'd laugh in their face for hours, especially a college+ person.