Keep It Private or Expose It All?

[MythicMatt]

Sharing? Private details? Internet?
*Laughter echoing through space*

If everything you read about me is true, I'm a left-not-really-left handed, sorcerer-knight-gunslinger-mechpilot, demon-dragon-thing living on a spaceship and in the middle of trying to make a videogame with the assistance of my friend, having given up on writing a novel due to lack of interest in the sample chapters.

At best, you can get little bits of my life to piece together, but no concrete standing on whether or not I'm a specific person.

I also have an infrequently broken policy of adding people I don't know as friends on Steam or Xbox. You need to meet a really specific criteria before you can be considered, and even more specific to actually get the add.

 

[happyninja42]

I don't have to prove anything at all except one thing. That "declaration of difference from at least one person in the entire universe is met with scorn and exile". Why, did I say that everyone will go against you the moment you come out? No, and its not true most of the time. Meditate upon what you have just said... "nothing happened".

Actually you did say that, because you set up this false premise that any time someone comes out as whatever, they are met with scorn, and then said "that's why we don't do it". Which is flawed since they couldn't meet with scorn unless they already came out, yet you say they don't come out because they will be met with scorn. The logical fragmentation of that is enough to shatter continents. Sure, people are met with negativity and hostility when they come out, but we still come out. Because we'd rather be who we are, than hide it. You seem to think, at least based on the words you actually posted, that we all live in the shadows, afraid of being ousted by those around us. But there is actually a very large community of whatever you are when you come out, that you can get in touch with.

Is it really nothing when (at least) one person in the universe may feel disdain from meeting you?

Why should I care what one person thinks? You can't please everyone, even in the closet. We all upset people for one reason or another.

Especially considering that you probably were better off with others if you didn't come out?

Who are these "others" you speak of? People inside my sphere of family/friends/coworkers? They all know, hence me saying "I came out." And surprise, they didn't care. If you mean people outside my sphere, then fuck them. I don't live my life worrying about what people I don't know/care about think of me, and I'm sorry that you seem to.

Something to think about, when the best case scenario you can come up is "nothing changed", heh.

I didn't say "nothing changed" I said "nothing happened." But fine, you want to be pedantic about it, let me clarify for you. "Nothing negative happened". Better? Many things actually happened. For one, having open discussions about religion with my devoutly religious family members, and making them question the stuff they just take on faith.

Moreover, It DEFINES you to the people who you have never met.

1. I don't give a shit what people I have never met think about me. I've never met them, and I might never meet them. So why should I care? And if they are so narrow minded as to make a judgement about me based on a likely false understanding of whatever label they give me (in this case Atheist), the fuck do I care? If they can't put their mindset aside and actually get to know me first, then fuck them. And I'm sure as hell not going to tailor my entire existence around a possible fear about a maybe person that I may/may not ever meet, and what they possibly think about it. Fuck that neurotic shit. I have a life, and I'm going to live it. What I can do, is live my life as a decent person, openly, so they actually SEE what "someone like me[/b] actually is. If they still want to prejudge me without taking the time to know me, the flaw is with them, and I'm not going to cater to them for their shortcomings.

(as I have stated before, it changed how people thinks.)
Convicted felon, or dropout, Titles with pre-conceptions. You really think that all the people you may meet look past that first impressions?

I never said people don't make judgement. YOU said that because we live in a world where people make pre-judgements, people don't come out. Which is just fundamentally wrong, on so many levels that I can't begin to explain it.

P.S: I guess I do have to concede to the point "Because people come out all the fucking time, and they still exist." I do forget that many people do not make best choices in life.

...what? Are you seriously trying to imply that everyone who has ever declared themselves to be different from the norm has made a bad choice in life? That we're all somehow living a poorer existence because of daring to face the possible scorn of potential strangers? ....I just....I....*headdesk* I can't even begin to fathom your mindspace to think that that is the world we live in, or that it is somehow the best course of action to live in that closet you think exists for the entirety of humanity that are different.

 

[Pirate Of PC Master race]

snip

Ugggh. I hate replies that comes in bits like this.
1st paragraph:
And I said, people sometimes don't make best choices in life. Let it go, I already conceded to your point.

2nd, 3rd, 5th paragraph.
Even a mostly-shut in like me recognizes that we meet new people as we move on with our lives. New people that you NEED to work with. Now, I don't want to piss off those people. Perhaps you never had any NECESSITY to work with certain people or meet new people at all, some other people like me does. You can't always go on with your life fucking over people you disagree with, although you seem to disagree.

4th paragraph
Well lucky you. You can base your opinion on experience that caused nothing negative to happen. However it still does not change whether it outweighs negative impact for everyone.

6th paragraph
"I never said people don't make judgement. YOU said that because we live in a world where people make pre-judgements"
So you agree with me. Thank you. It isn't wasn't that hard.
As for the next sentence, if you cannot provide logical argument, I'm afraid I will remain unconvinced.

7th, and last paragraph
Yep. That is pretty much it. Whether you like it or not, you live with people. In many cases, You HAVE to live with some people. People who may find your beliefs to be offensive for... whatever reason. It is my opinion that those people cause "living a poorer existence".

 

[Laughing Man]

The issue is the ability for people to filter what it is they put on social media. Their are three types of people

People like me who have no interest in social media at all

People who use it as it should be used, to keep long distant friends and family informed of the important updates in their lives

and
The people who believe that every thought, action, every single thing they do in their life has to be logged and shared with everyone and anyone in a desperate bid to gain as many followers as they possibly can.

I am not going to say keep it all private or tell only the important stuff nothing to that extent but what I will say is people need to get a fucking filter on exactly what it is they put on the internet, again not stuff like credit card details or home address or bank details but stuff like 'what I had for breakfast' really who in the fuck gives a toss about that?

 

[The Madman]

Depends.

I don't mind getting to know people in person. I'm more than happy to grab a drink and sit down to chat with someone I barely know as long as they seem friendly.

On the internet though? No thank you. Social media is something I neither use nor have any urge to start using.

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

I'm a pretty private person, and I tend to be very careful with whom I share things with.

I do have some close friends and I'm pretty open with them about things. But with coworkers, casual friends/acquaintances, or even some family members I tend to be very careful with what I share. Not that I'm hiding anything, it's just if it doesn't pop up then I won't mention it.

I also have a habit of not talking about myself since I feel like I'm either bragging or I think the other might not care.

In that regard, I'm a pretty hard person to get to know by default.

But hey, what can you do?

 

[Addendum_Forthcoming]

I think less in terms of private and public, and more in terms of 'faces' and 'masks'. If you think in terms of private and public ... then you inevitably start spilling into both as you make work colleagues into workmates, and workmates then meet SOs on occasion. It's best to think in terms of faces and masks.

Try to cultivate at least 7 of them. 7 is the suitable safety limit. Otherwise you advertise your weaknesses too much. The best way to deal with a personal weakness, is to turn it into a strength. Make it one of your faces or your masks. Too many truths in a row, and too few masks inbetween faces, and the system falls apart.

Personally I think it's healthy to maintain a suitable distance. I think it helps us maintain a suitable air of invulnerability. Plus it helps to maintain this idea of compartmentalized relationships. Helps to keep things sane and understandable. But I'm kind of scared of opening up to people. I don't like feeling as if a book. The trick isn't to lie, but to hide truths. Much easier to maintain healthy distance.

 

[Sleepy Sol]

I'm personally in something of a middle ground between prioritizing absolute privacy and exposing my information to others in the internet. But I'd absolutely encourage others to prioritize privacy first and foremost. Or at least be extremely cautious with their information.

If we're speaking in terms of real life, I am much more reluctant to open up or share information about myself; however, I feel that that's easily attributed to the fact that I am generally a socially anxious person. Kind of the opposite of how you probably should act in regards to your personal info.

 

[happyninja42]

snip

I am baffled by your belief that you equate "being who I am, and not hiding that from others" with "fucking people over". I truly fear the world as you see, and and grateful that it's not actually how the world is.

 

[Souther Thorn]

i tend to let it all hang out, just easier. I grew up in a very liberal/radical area and family, so never felt any compunctions to hide myself away, though learning to not try and punch my way out of a challenge to my sense of self took a few years.

 

[Eclipse Dragon]

I share only the things that I believe (through my admittedly faulty filter) someone in my social circle would find interesting. Major life events, interesting things I did in my life (skydiving ext), artwork I made, random, significant things that happened to me (aka car accidents) and every now and then, something funny I saw.

Nobody needs to know what I ate for breakfast, who I'm voting for, what I think about Donald Trump/ Hillary Clinton/ Bernie Sanders, If I have kids, I will not excessively tell the world every little cute thing they did. I do not reblog or respond to chain letters. Check in everywhere that I go.

 

[Pirate Of PC Master race]

snip

I am baffled by your belief that you equate "being who I am, and not hiding that from others" with "fucking people over". I truly fear the world as you see, and and grateful that it's not actually how the world is.

And I hope you don't see the world as what you want it to be.
But even so, that is like, your opinion.

Besides, you are testament to my belief! Those people who have chosen to show you "themselves", and you have chosen to not associate yourself with them based upon more information you have obtained from them!
Therefore, they have lost one more potential friend... How tragic, and their only fault is that only expressed themselves as who they are. Only if they didn't show their "true selves", am I right?

Spoiler

if they are so narrow minded as to make a judgement about me based on a likely false understanding of whatever label they give me (in this case Atheist), the fuck do I care? If they can't put their mindset aside and actually get to know me first, then fuck them.

The system works because of people like you, whether you deny it or not. You are my brightest example, and I hope you continue to live so despite your.. "opinion". I value action over mere words, and hopefully your actions will inspire others on how not to make mistakes in life.

 

[lacktheknack]

I've got basically nothing to hide and don't treasure privacy very much. That said, I dislike being intrusive, so if I can help it, I don't share much unless asked.

I'm like an unlabeled book. If you open it to read it, everything's freely there. If you don't, it's not very remarkable.

 

[MHR]

The problem with "oversharing" is assuming that you had anything worthwhile to share. People are boring. There's >7 billion on earth, you think your shit's that special? I've never looked at any social media anywhere and thought "Man, this shit's interesting! Glad I checked this out." The only things that were even mildly interesting were collections of re-blogs from other sources.

Share less. Not because it will screw your life over; that benefits law enforcement all the time when idiots post about their crimes and pose with evidence. Post less because you're boring, your stories are pointless, and it's annoying that you refuse to see that.

 

[Parasondox]

The problem with "oversharing" is assuming that you had anything worthwhile to share. People are boring. There's >7 billion on earth, you think your shit's that special? I've never looked at any social media anywhere and thought "Man, this shit's interesting! Glad I checked this out." The only things that were even mildly interesting were collections of re-blogs from other sources.

Share less. Not because it will screw your life over; that benefits law enforcement all the time when idiots post about their crimes and pose with evidence. Post less because you're boring, your stories are pointless, and it's annoying that you refuse to see that.

"Look at the 55 inch TV I just stole last night in Croydon, long with my brand new, never paid for PS4 and Xbox One lol. Man run shit and own these streets. Police are fucking mugs."

Yep, those jackasses. Or even that case where two people were let off by the judge, then went on Facebook to boast about it and even say what they really did but then later got called back into court and was given prison time.

Fucking... IDIOTS!!

 

[Callate]

I forget whether my motto used to be "A wise man speaks because he has something to say, a fool, because he has to say something" or "It is better to be quiet and be thought foolish than to speak and remove all doubt".

In either case, both Facebook and Twitter manage to reinforce the point Every Single Day.

Three quarters of the mail I get is from charities because I was foolish enough to give a handful of groups a little money and they promptly rewarded my loyalty by selling my information to other tangentially related causes. Ninety percent of the phone calls I get are from machines waiting for a human response before they connect me to workers for other charities or survey takers. Every purchase I make at a grocery store is recorded; every link I click on Facebook is stored in a database. Amazon sends me five e-mails every time I make a purchase, querying about my satisfaction, asking if I want to write a review, asking if I might be aware of the following eight products people who bought the thing I bought also bought.

Real privacy has been dead for a while, now. And it sucks, and let us not forget that it sucks; let us not pretend that it was a given that we be marketed to constantly for the benefit of getting shoes for a few dollars cheaper, or for the privilege of getting to hear about the child of a third grade acquaintance struggling with being ostracized by their classmates because of their sad obsession with throwing their own poop.

But at least we can try not to contribute excessive noise to the noise-to-signal ratio.