Lamest Joke You've Ever Heard?

[hazabaza1]

I went to buy a violin. They asked me if I wanted a bow with it. I said 'no thank you, it's not a gift.'
WAKA WAKA

 

[Creator002]

Why was six afraid of seven??? because seven ate nine.... *kills himself*

My cousin told me this with a different spin on it.

Why was six scared of seven?
Because seven was a rapist.

 

[The Night Angel]

My cousin told me this with a different spin on it.

Why was six scared of seven?
Because seven was a rapist.

Yes, I'd heard it that way too, but that is much less lame, if slightly silly.

 

[Mr_spamamam]

What do you call a German barber? Herr Cut

 

[Phasmal]

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!"

....the fuck?

No, seriously, how did this joke come about? I want to know.

I don't know, but my boyfriend made me laugh with a TF2 spin on this joke:
"Why did the spy cross the road?"
"Why?"
"He didn't, he never really was on your side"

I'm a nerd, but it made me laugh.

As for the lamest joke; the sandwhich one. Not even funny. You might as just well go `Misogyny! Lawl!`

 

[Qitz]

You misspelled desiccated.

If you're going to quote that entire fucking wall over a spelling mistake the least you could do is snip it out.

One my friend told me before that was hilarious.

What do you call a brown guy with a Turban flying a plane?

*Respond with A Terrorist*

A pilot you racist fuck!

 

[Zack Alklazaris]

Tom Swifty jokes... they take the emotional description someone says in a sentence and uses it as a pun.

For Example: "Pass me the shellfish," said Tom crabbily.

worst... jokes... ever.

 

[CoffeeBoy]

You misspelled desiccated.

If you're going to quote that entire fucking wall over a spelling mistake the least you could do is snip it out.

I think it was done intentionally to get us all to scroll through the whole thing wondering why someone would copy that entire long post only to have the reply be one short sentence that didn't even reflect on the post but on one word within. Basically, Olas "shaggy dogged" the original. Made me laugh, anyway.

 

[CoffeeBoy]

You misspelled desiccated.

If you're going to quote that entire fucking wall over a spelling mistake the least you could do is snip it out.

I think it was done intentionally to get us all to scroll through the whole thing wondering why someone would copy that entire long post only to have the reply be one short sentence that didn't even reflect on the post but on one word within. Basically, Olas "shaggy dogged" the original. Made me laugh, anyway.

 

[OneCatch]

Rene Descartes walks into a bar. When he gets to the bartender, the man turns to him and asks, "Would you like a drink?" Descartes replies with, "I think not," and disappears.

I think you confused 'lame' with 'EPIC'

EDIT:

You misspelled desiccated.

If you're going to quote that entire fucking wall over a spelling mistake the least you could do is snip it out.

I think it was done intentionally to get us all to scroll through the whole thing wondering why someone would copy that entire long post only to have the reply be one short sentence that didn't even reflect on the post but on one word within. Basically, Olas "shaggy dogged" the original. Made me laugh, anyway.

Also made me laugh like a little child

EDIT EDIT:

also:

Oh the HUMANITY!!

 

[Auron225]

You misspelled desiccated.

If you're going to quote that entire fucking wall over a spelling mistake the least you could do is snip it out.

I think it was done intentionally to get us all to scroll through the whole thing wondering why someone would copy that entire long post only to have the reply be one short sentence that didn't even reflect on the post but on one word within. Basically, Olas "shaggy dogged" the original. Made me laugh, anyway.

I couldnt help but laugh too =P

 

[PsychedelicDiamond]

I wanted to post the worst joke ever... but then i took an arrow to the knee! Ahahaha...ha.

Also, there's this cracked article. You can read it but you will probably want to kill yourself afterwards.

http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-geek-humor-books-by-authors-who-understand-neither/

 

[chinangel]

"a man walks into a bar. Ouch"

badum-tish.

 

[MrShowerHead]

"Knock knock"

"Come in"

Works everytime

Or: A baby seal walks into a club

I'm sorry

 

[DasDestroyer]

So a man walks into a bar. Another one follows him, and then a third one. You'd think at least one of them would have noticed it.

 

[repeating integers]

What did the Penguin use to get to school?

An icicle.

it's so bad, you can't even laugh at how bad it is. Easily the worst joke ever.

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!"

....the fuck?

No, seriously, how did this joke come about? I want to know.

The whole point, I think, was that it was playing on the fact that the audience usually expects a punchline at the end of a joke. It was a subversion of the norm that must have been quite funny when it was first conceived. Nowadays, it's the first "joke" that anybody hears, so it's lost its humour (and its point).