wow, thats... not a happy place to be in...Darkspectar said:Both.
sorry I cant really help you in the rl problem, since... well, there a bit of a distance... maybe try to open up and meet new people? I know thats what (eventually) helped me a few years ago with that...
as for e-buddies... well, it seems as though you have more then me, but If thats not enough, Im more then able and happy to help fix that!