Laws you'd make

[Miles000]

All cloths lines must be at least 2.0 meters above ground at its lowest point.
[sub]That will make my job and life a lot easier.[/sub]

Edit: Entire world will become a secular state.

 

[Hunter15]

all internet trolls must burn their hands off if they start trolling

 

[Eldarion]

I'd make church and state separation mean something. No more Christians forcing their religious views on the entire country.

To be fair Christians are no where near the worst offenders on that subject

Yhea, but they are the ones bothering me most.

 

[DefunctTheory]

1. Sex (With me) can be counted as tax credit.

2. Replace 'Obamacare' with partial health coverage assistance, based on income.

3. Unify driver's licenses, fire arm permits, and other similar documentation under federal control.

 

[Gaiseric]

Use your turn signals or else I can shoot out your tires.

People should have to retake the drives test at least every other year.

Make kids take an extracurricular activity after school.

 

[Ghengis John]

1. UELA's (User End License Agreements) Must be simplified in language and limited to a maximum of 800 words.


2. If a corporation changes a UELA in mid-term and disagreeing with that change forfeits the right to use an already purchased product, then that corporation must provide a full refund for the product in addition to shipping and handling charges, should that product be returned to them, regardless of current market value. In the case of downloadable content, the DRM would be removed/blocked once the refund transaction was completed.

3. When a UELA is changed and the current user has agreed to a previous version of the contract, then an addendum must be attached that explains the differences between the current revision and the preceding one similar to "Patch notes". The UELA itself must still be a self contained document and that revisionary statement cannot reach an excess of 400 words.

Punishments:What punishment? If you don't comply you don't do business. There are no infractions, infractions are not allowed. If we simply rolled out a corporate fine it would be a slap on the wrist to many giants who'd simply consistently break the law and happily pay the fine.

Retractions must be equal to original coverage.
A media law that I thought up after seeing news papers and TV shows slander the hell out of people then print a retraction to a frontpage story on page 28 in a tiny box, or in the last seconds of a news program after the weather when everyone has switched to another station. With this law if a news paper slashes a huge frontpage story filled with lies, they must publish an equal retraction.
Punishment for failure to obey this law: Loss of a the smallest finger remaining on your dominate hand.

I really like this one. I've seen Fox news tell the most spurious lies all the time and then their retraction is one muttered word through some third-hand outlet that they never play up a hundredth as much as the 500 cumulative hours across 400 shows they told the lie.

 

[Radeonx]

all internet trolls must burn their hands off if they start trolling

I'd just like to point out the gigantic amount of irony I found after looking at your probation post.

 

[Nouw]

Anyone who listens to music in public must sing along to it.
Punishment:You have to dance to it as well

 

[StellarViking]

1. Don't try to turn before the pedestrians in the crosswalk have reached the other side of the street. Failure to comply results in having your car's wheels replaced with square ones.

2. For every racial/homophobic/cultural/etc. slur used in an offensive or degrading manner in public (within reason), a five-page essay (Single space, size 12 font) on the history of the civil rights movement must be turned into the police station within 72 hours. Repeat offenders: The essay remains on-file so a copy-and-paste won't work

3. Failure to turn down your car stereo in a residential neighborhood after 9 pm will result in you being locked in a room, restrained and forced to watch the Nyan Cat for 24 hours.

4. Failure to not clean up if you miss the toilet will result in the offender being forced to sit to urinate for one week, in addition to wearing a shirt that reads "I made an uh-oh" for the same week.

 

[Eldarion]

all internet trolls must burn their hands off if they start trolling

I'd just like to point out the gigantic amount of irony I found after looking at your probation post.

You saw that? I reported that post.

Oh the irony IS delicious.

 

[Miles000]

1.UELA's (User End License Agreements) Must be simplified in language and limited to a maximum of 800 words.

2. If a corporation changes a UELA in mid-term and disagreeing with that change forfeits the right to use an already purchased product, then that corporation must provide a full refund for the product in addition to shipping and handling charges, should that product be returned to them, regardless of current market value.

This man is a genius. Put him in charge.

Has anyone actually read the new iTunes UELA.
I'm not joking there is a section about using iTunes for running a nuclear reactor or life support system in there.

 

[Radeonx]

all internet trolls must burn their hands off if they start trolling

I'd just like to point out the gigantic amount of irony I found after looking at your probation post.

You saw that? I reported that post.

Oh the irony IS delicious.

Well I saw him post here and wanted to see if it would be as amazingly ironic as I thought it would be, and it far exceeded my expectations.

 

[Baneat]

I'd rewrite the air rifle laws in the UK to be categorical instead of subjective. I'd write a constitution also, modelled after the US constitution, and implement Senator/Executive/Supreme Court structure. I'd legalise guns, and all drugs. I'd remove all funding to religious institutions, and remove any affirmative action laws or discrimination laws within one's own property.

 

[Paksenarrion]

Legalize marijuana and prostitution, install safeguards and health procedures, and tax them.

Make filibusters entertaining by due process. If you're going to hold up the system, it damn well better be entertaining. This will be decided by 2/3 majority vote. If you do not have enough votes to deem your filibuster entertaining, your vote is temporarily determined as null and void for the particular bill you are filibustering.

Install the extensive infrastructure needed for solar-powered electric cars. There will be government operated/owned electric stations and private/commercial electric stations. This is to prevent inflation of electricity prices.

Provide incentives to install solar panels on roofs.

Encourage costumed vigilantes from behind the scenes.

 

[Devil's Due]

Ban alchohol, drugs, and smoking. Fair? Nope. But I make the laws here, boy! *Gets serious*

Also, anyone who claims to be part of Fox News, helped Fox News, or worked with Fox News, to be immediately monitored and tried in the court of law if severe enough. I can't let you do that, Fox.

 

[Ghengis John]

1.UELA's (User End License Agreements) Must be simplified in language and limited to a maximum of 800 words.

2. If a corporation changes a UELA in mid-term and disagreeing with that change forfeits the right to use an already purchased product, then that corporation must provide a full refund for the product in addition to shipping and handling charges, should that product be returned to them, regardless of current market value.

This man is a genius. Put him in charge.

Has anyone actually read the new iTunes UELA.
I'm not joking there is a section about using iTunes for running a nuclear reactor or life support system in there.

Thankyou, I've actually added one more you might like.

Make filibusters entertaining by due process. If you're going to hold up the system, it damn well better be entertaining. This will be decided by 2/3 majority vote. If you do not have enough votes to deem your filibuster entertaining, your vote is temporarily determined as null and void for the particular bill you are filibustering.

This is a bad idea. If you have a 2/3 majority vote you're probably not going to employ a filibuster in the first place and no filibuster could remain entertaining for the length of time a filibuster is required to run for. Besides, again, chief point: that vote would be cut strictly by party lines and the intent of a filibuster IS to bore your opponents into submission.

 

[Paksenarrion]

1.UELA's (User End License Agreements) Must be simplified in language and limited to a maximum of 800 words.

2. If a corporation changes a UELA in mid-term and disagreeing with that change forfeits the right to use an already purchased product, then that corporation must provide a full refund for the product in addition to shipping and handling charges, should that product be returned to them, regardless of current market value.

This man is a genius. Put him in charge.

Has anyone actually read the new iTunes UELA.
I'm not joking there is a section about using iTunes for running a nuclear reactor or life support system in there.

Thankyou, I've actually added one more you might like.

Make filibusters entertaining by due process. If you're going to hold up the system, it damn well better be entertaining. This will be decided by 2/3 majority vote. If you do not have enough votes to deem your filibuster entertaining, your vote is temporarily determined as null and void for the particular bill you are filibustering.

This is a bad idea. If you have a 2/3 majority vote you're probably not going to employ a filibuster in the first place and no filibuster could remain entertaining for the length of time a filibuster is required to run for. Besides, again, chief point: that vote would be cut strictly by party lines and the intent of a filibuster IS to bore your opponents into submission.

The 2/3 majority vote is to determine if the filibuster was entertaining or not. If it's not entertaining, the congresspersons who participated in the filibuster void their votes regarding the bill they're filibustering. Basically, the people whose time you're wasting better be entertained, or your filibuster would have come to naught.

 

[Miles000]

1.UELA's (User End License Agreements) Must be simplified in language and limited to a maximum of 800 words.

2. If a corporation changes a UELA in mid-term and disagreeing with that change forfeits the right to use an already purchased product, then that corporation must provide a full refund for the product in addition to shipping and handling charges, should that product be returned to them, regardless of current market value.

This man is a genius. Put him in charge.

Has anyone actually read the new iTunes UELA.
I'm not joking there is a section about using iTunes for running a nuclear reactor or life support system in there.

Thankyou, I've actually added one more you might like.

OK.
See now while I agree with those new ones, I'd also like to point out that its starting to look like a EULA itself.

 

[Ghengis John]

The 2/3 majority vote is to determine if the filibuster was entertaining or not. If it's not entertaining, the congresspersons who participated in the filibuster void their votes regarding the bill they're filibustering. Basically, the people whose time you're wasting better be entertained, or your filibuster would have come to naught.

Only it wouldn't work like that and the IDEA IS you waste everyone's time. If you have a 2/3 majority vote you have a passed bill. With all the money on the line and favors to return there is no way a faction with a majority vote is going to sit there and vote to allow a man to spray whipped cream on his head. He could be the world's greatest entertainer and they'd boot him off the stage to move along with their business. Filibusters are an act of desperation when your position is badly outnumbered. The very mechanics of when you employ them simply make your idea a bad one. The opposition, if allowed to vote on whether you can oppose them, would always vote no.

 

[kuyo]

I'd fix the issues with the sex offender registry.
The way it is now, the guy who gets drunk and urinates in public is on the same level as the serial rapist.

What. The. Fuck.

Edit: I'd make the system work on a case-by-case basis, but you'd only be judged by certified, impartial judges, people who will think rationally, and come up with a fair punishment.

The registry is fucked up. The urination thing is only in some states, but their definition of pedophile extends to anyone who has pictures of naked children. That's led to children being put on the registry. There are five-year-olds whose lives are ruined by the registry.
It's also inherently flawed. So, you have people who are willing to commit sexual crimes, and what does the state think is a good way to deal with them? Make them sit at home unemployed because nobody's hiring from the registry. So, they're just sitting around with their thoughts... their horrible depraved thoughts.

I'd regulate the shit out of business. Specifically the ones that needed bailouts. I'd also take all of BP's oil rigs and make them national commodities. In short, I'd probably make things very bad because I didn't think things through enough.