Learn from my fail

[Merkavar]

In the past week what have you done that you would like to share with the rest of us so that we can learn from your fail.

As always ill go first, i have 2 that are related.

Dont try to shave your head with a beard trimmer, they seem to be too weak to cut 15cm long hair and will end up taking you an hour to cut it all. Also the cutting are is narrow so you have to go over you head so many times to cover it all.

My 2nd lfmf happened about 5 days earlier when i first decided to shave my head. I got my beard trimmer and tested it. I didnt test it on my beard or my arm or anywhere sensible. I tested it on my head so i had a 7 by 3 shaved section on the middle ofmy head. Then i chickened out. Luckily my hair could cover my shaved spot cause i had to go to uni the next day :0

Now your turn.

 

[Crazy80sguy]

I suppose my biggest fail was when I was fighting with the British Army in Iraq my first real engagement with Insurgents was outside Basra. I was a part of a Princess of Wales Royal Regiment guarding some Royal Engineers working on blowing a weapons cache. We came under fire. My first act was to suddenly pull the trigger on my SA80 and narrowly miss shooting my own foot off. Then I flicked the safety ON and tried to return fire on where I believed the Insurgents where.

Then a Royal Engineer took my rifle, flicked off the safety and pushed my head down into cover. As I had been standing in the open like a lemon. After getting my rifle back I then held down the trigger and nearly emptied my whole clip. Once again shooting at nothing.

After reloading however I calmed down and remembered my training. And no I dont think I shot anyone that day.

 

[Merkavar]

My first act was to suddenly pull the trigger on my SA80 and narrowly miss shooting my own foot off. Then I flicked the safety ON and tried to return fire on where I believed the Insurgents where.

i think your fail is much better than mine.

 

[Crazy80sguy]

My first act was to suddenly pull the trigger on my SA80 and narrowly miss shooting my own foot off. Then I flicked the safety ON and tried to return fire on where I believed the Insurgents where.

i think your fail is much better than mine.

The British army is the best trained in the world, but every army has its Noobs.

 

[manaman]

snip

First time we came under fire was escorting a Rathyon employee not far from Balad. There wasn't supposed to be a soul around. But someone opened fire on us. A bunch of Air Force Satellite communications techs. Two of us jumped behind a wall before realizing we left the guy standing by the humvee freaking out. Everyone else was looking around. It seemed to freeze for half a second and it felt like fight or flight instincts where going 10 rounds in my head. Then Srgt McKelly started to bark for everyone to get to cover, he laid down some fire in the general area where the shot came from and we ducked out to grab the Rathyon guy.

I ended up under fire several times after that and it was never quite as confusing again. Especially when the group I was with knew what they where doing.

 

[Verex]

DON'T do a running dive during a full game of laser tag. Those 200 pts weren't worth the scraped elbows.

 

[Crazy80sguy]

snip

First time we came under fire was escorting a Rathyon employee not far from Balad. There wasn't supposed to be a soul around. But someone opened fire on us. A bunch of Air Force Satellite communications techs. Two of us jumped behind a wall before realizing we left the guy standing by the humvee freaking out. Everyone else was looking around. It seemed to freeze for half a second and it felt like fight or flight instincts where going 10 rounds in my head. Then Srgt McKelly started to bark for everyone to get to cover, he laid down some fire in the general area where the shot came from and we ducked out to grab the Rathyon guy.

I ended up under fire several times after that and it was never quite as confusing again. Especially when the group I was with knew what they where doing.

No matter how much training you get, I think most people freeze or panic for just a moment in their first real combat action.

Still, I have heard of Suicide Bombers who tried to practice before going out on the big day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uwOL4rB-go

 

[Andrew_Mac]

Not quite as bad as the few that have already been mentioned, but never the less, a fail.

I convinced my brother to come home for my 18th birthday... Why god why? He'll just steal all the beer and food and play my PS3 all day, not letting me play it at all!

 

[Haydyn]

Do not drive in the snow.

 

[Outright Villainy]

Dont try to shave your head with a beard trimmer, they seem to be too weak to cut 15cm long hair and will end up taking you an hour to cut it all. Also the cutting are is narrow so you have to go over you head so many times to cover it all.

If your beard is that long, you're supposed to take a scissors to it first.

I have no problem with my beard trimmer.

 

[Merkavar]

If your beard is that long, you're supposed to take a scissors to your beard first.

I have no problem with my beard trimmer.

i was shaving my head not my beard and as soon as i started i thought i should have got scissors but it was too late

 

[Outright Villainy]

If your beard is that long, you're supposed to take a scissors to your beard first.

I have no problem with my beard trimmer.

i was shaving my head not my beard and as soon as i started i thought i should have got scissors but it was too late

Haha, seems I misread that, that's my fail I guess!

Yeah, that sounds like a bad idea...

 

[Crazy80sguy]

I convinced my brother to come home for my 18th birthday...

Good grief man are you insane!?

 

[revolutionaification]

No matter how much you're thinking about that drink of apple juice you want and how badly your turkey needs gravy, FOCUS. You WILL end up chugging the jug of gravy at the dinner table, your family WILL NOT let you live it down.


Also, remember that just because you're lying on your back and want that glass of water, gravity won't stop working. Hope you enjoy drowning on dry land.

 

[MGlBlaze]

I suppose my biggest fail was when I was fighting with the British Army in Iraq my first real engagement with Insurgents was outside Basra. I was a part of a Princess of Wales Royal Regiment guarding some Royal Engineers working on blowing a weapons cache. We came under fire. My first act was to suddenly pull the trigger on my SA80 and narrowly miss shooting my own foot off. Then I flicked the safety ON and tried to return fire on where I believed the Insurgents where.

Then a Royal Engineer took my rifle, flicked off the safety and pushed my head down into cover. As I had been standing in the open like a lemon. After getting my rifle back I then held down the trigger and nearly emptied my whole clip. Once again shooting at nothing.

After reloading however I calmed down and remembered my training. And no I dont think I shot anyone that day.

Oh wow, that's funny as hell.

It's a good thing you didn't get shot while you were standing around, though; that would have made the story much less funny.

My biggest fail was when I was 14 or something, I think. I was at a swimming pool and thought it'd be a GREAT idea to put water-wing things on my legs to see if I could walk on the water.
No, things didn't go to plan.
No, I don't know why I was such a gigantic moron.
Yes, I was fine. Pretty embarassed though.

 

[ThatLankyBastard]

Red Food Coloring stains skin, and is a ***** to get out. My cheek is still raw from all that scrubbing...

...Damned English project...

 

[Crazy80sguy]

I suppose my biggest fail was when I was fighting with the British Army in Iraq my first real engagement with Insurgents was outside Basra. I was a part of a Princess of Wales Royal Regiment guarding some Royal Engineers working on blowing a weapons cache. We came under fire. My first act was to suddenly pull the trigger on my SA80 and narrowly miss shooting my own foot off. Then I flicked the safety ON and tried to return fire on where I believed the Insurgents where.

Then a Royal Engineer took my rifle, flicked off the safety and pushed my head down into cover. As I had been standing in the open like a lemon. After getting my rifle back I then held down the trigger and nearly emptied my whole clip. Once again shooting at nothing.

After reloading however I calmed down and remembered my training. And no I dont think I shot anyone that day.

Oh wow, that's funny as hell.

It's a good thing you didn't get shot while you were standing around, though; that would have made the story much less funny.

My biggest fail was when I was 14 or something, I think. I was at a swimming pool and thought it'd be a GREAT idea to put water-wing things on my legs to see if I could walk on the water.
No, things didn't go to plan.
No, I don't know why I was such a gigantic moron.
Yes, I was fine. Pretty embarassed though.

Damn right it was funny! All my buddies ribbed me about that incident for my entire excursion out there. So did several other people I never met. Ah good times. I laughed as well in case your wandering.

 

[Klarinette]

Let's see, lmfl...

Ah!

Don't try mending/altering an article of clothing while you're still wearing the damn thing. You're essentially guaranteed to stab yourself at some point, and it's hilarious when the needle goes all the way through the fabric and gets lodged into you because the fabric is pushing back on it while you're panicking and tearing at the article to get to the needle. By hilarious, I meant fucking painful. Not a story that makes you look cool later on. "I got this tear in my abdomen from sewing!"

Oh, and if someone tells you the food is hot, don't be a man about it, shrug, and eat it anyway, fighting the tears and urge to chug a gallon of shredded ice. If the burn is bad enough, your stupidity shows later on when your tongue starts peeling.

 

[MiracleOfSound]

Don't take on a drill-wielding boss in Bulletstorm from a corner where you can't get out.