Least Sensible Things In Games

[MrBaskerville]

I think I could just say "Sierra's thought process" and that would take the cake in the "Makes no goddamn sense category." Oh no! a yeti is attacking! The only way to stop it is to... throw a pie at it, of course. Watch out for that POISONous snake! let's hope you have a tambourine to make it go away, or throw a bridle at it, because it's secretly a cursed horse. Obviously.

Although the absolute worst of this is guessing the gnome's name in King's Quest 1. You have 3 tries before he's gone forever, and you get 2 hints: That Rumpelstiltskin is "close, but no cigar" and to "try thinking backwards." so what's the answer? Ifnkovhgroghprm. His parents must have really hated him. Or maybe they had a stroke in the middle of the naming process

The walktrhroughs i just checked writes that it's rumpelstiltskin spelled backwards (like in the fairytale), are you sure you got the right name?

Ah now i get it, apparently there are more versions of the game (or maybe the walktrhough i checked is missing last half of the solution, this is probably the case), one is the obvious solution, the other uses a mirrored alphabet.

 

[A BigCup of Tea]

"Ok kenway, what I need you to do is eavesdrop on these two people. They turn around randomly, there's approximately 10,000 guards on the route, and there's barely any hiding places. Also 3 interruptions means an instant game over. Along with detections that can happen in one nanosecnod. You might make it on your 345th attempt!"

Yeah, I'm still on about that. I still haven't done another story mission because it might be one of those stupid fucking tailing sections. Or eavesdropping sections.

this annoyed me too but i have found a way around this, if you hire the dancers that distract the guards but don't use them you can constantly blend in and not get seen...hell i was stood right next to the people i was eavesdropping on (and i mean practically touching tips) and they couldn't see me

 

[Synthetica]

Okay, Borderlands 2 has you steal explosives so that your allies can drop them off from these helicopter/plane hybrids, so you can cross the bridge. (Blow up a bridge so you can pass over it, say what?) They could, say... bring you to the other side in the bloody things? So that.

 

[Nimzabaat]

Oh yeah I just noticed that today too. Fuckin' what?

OT: I suppose some of the quest designs in Witcher 2 are a bit long winded and needlessly obtuse. Blow this shit up with bombs. No we won't tell you where to craft the bombs, what the ingredients are and even what type of bombs actually blow up the nests. Ended up throwing some sort of fantasy EMP bomb in and that didn't work then I found a bomb that explicitly says that the damage is "explosive." Nope, bigger bombs required.

Don't get me wrong, it's a good game but some of the design choices are baffling. Like the lack of a tutorial. Here's a courtyard full of people, we haven't told you what the draw sword button is or what the block and dodge buttons are and you can't access the key bindings while in game. Good fucking luck scrublord. THERE AIN'T NO I FRAMES ON THE DODGE IN THIS GAME EITHER ************! Oh and by the way, the block is shit. You can cleanly block a sword then mysteriously die of a heart attack like this guy's mates with Kira on the side.

Not even Dark Souls is that bullshit in the base mechanics. *cough*artificialdifficulty*cough*

Agreed. I also hated the stealth parts in Witcher 2. You are stuck to a wall. Now you're moving the thumbstick back, so I guess you want to go forward and bump into that guard? Nope? Well too bad. I do like that once you're out of the first dungeon and Roche asks you why you killed everyone they give you the option "you gave me a key, not an invisibility cloak". If only the stealth parts made more sense later in the game...

 

[Mersadeon]

Morrowind (yeah, gonna beat that sacred cow a bit) - so incredibly obtuse quest descriptions! A tomb to the northwest, you say? Well, maybe it would be easier to find if this part of the country wasn't ALL GREY and full of hills so you can't see it. Thank god for quest markers, sometimes even walkthroughs and wiki descriptions couldn't help me find a place.

AC: Black Flag. Who in the flaming depths of hell decided to make the little pointless animations in the Kenway's Fleet minigame unskipable? Why? Why would you do this? You can't tell me they mask small loading times, the entire minigame could be run on a cell phone. Did they think that they little timewasters are essential to the enjoyment of the game? I am ok with them being there, but why can I not do anything while they play?
That essentially killed the minigame for me, it's just so tedious.

 

[TheMadDoctorsCat]

Retro gaming example: chicken restores your full health bar, apples restore a third of it. In EVERY SINGLE GAME CREATED BEFORE 1995. What the heck is up with that?

Even a Donald Duck game used chicken as a health refill. Isn't that technically cannibalism?

 

[Lilikins]

2 things that always bugged me in games...

1: Your allowed to carry 20 items, giant 2h weapon is lieing on the floor, you cant pick it up... Throw away a leaf,voila, for some reason your character now has enough space to carry this behemoth of a weapon.

2: This one irked me the most. -Collect (fill in random anatomy object that is vital to survive or anything else you can clearly see the enemy has)-. Collect 10 bat wings, 1 in 20 bats drop them..I can clearly see that the bat has 2...why ..cant I get them? Does 1 magically fall off every 20th bat?
Or my alltime favorite, Im still confused and amazed at the same time, at how many creatures in rpg's are walking around without a brain or heart, I donno how it works out but for some reason they seem to manage.


Notable runners up: Weapon impact upon the NPC's in games. As a giant 2h wielding barbarian with muscles that would put Arnold Schwartzenegger to shame and seemingly eating steroids for breakfast...why can that little elf lady who seems as if she were going to get blown over by the next gust of wind (and is 20 levels higher) carry that giant axe when it says that Im the one who needs more streangth?

 

[C14N]

"I'm a guard on duty, I think I will stand perfectly in place/walk the exact same path without any change for the next 6 hours. What's that? 12 of our men have been stabbed in the neck? Better search around for 30 seconds, if I don't find something by then I'll return to my previous stationary position"

"Hey, that guy just killed/beat up dozens of our men, but I bet if I run right at him I can take him down"

 

[Vivi22]

blowing megaton in fallout 3-

Spoiler

after recently seeing the outside world for the first time and mr. whats his name says
"if arm the nuke,travel to ten penny tower, I will give you x caps"
the meme "seems legit" come to mind when look at this offer.
how do I know for sure if ten penny tower even exists at that point in the game. If you get to ten penny tower what stopping them from tying to kill me? If you are already willing to blow up a town full people; then you have no moral problems with potently killing me just avoid paying me. You would need to be stupid evil to do this.

and if you do this later then you know the amount of caps you get for doing this is chump change and keeping megaton alive is more useful then the caps you get.

maybe fallout 3 is game where it is best to turn off logical thinking but I can't physically do that. it may have been a detriment on my experience with the game as a result. Maybe Bethesda should have designed the game better world as well to avoid this problem.

Yeah, to be honest Bethesda has a bunch of instances of awful writing and quest design in pretty much all of their games. They're mostly still enjoyable games, but those instances just pull you right out of it.

 

[sageoftruth]

In Dishonored: You can carry an unlimited number of paintings wider than your entire upper-body, but god forbid you try and carry more than 15 crossbow bolts.

 

[Treeberry]

blowing megaton in fallout 3-

Spoiler

after recently seeing the outside world for the first time and mr. whats his name says
"arm the nuke,travel to ten penny tower, I will give you x caps"
the meme "seems legit" come to mind when look at this offer.
how do I know for sure if ten penny tower even exists at that point in the game. If you get to ten penny tower what stopping them from tying to kill me? If you are already willing to blow up a town full people; then you have no moral problems with potently killing me just to avoid paying me. You would need to be stupid evil to in order to justify blowing up megaton.

and if you do this later then you know the amount of caps you get for doing this is chump change and keeping megaton alive is more useful then the caps you get.

maybe fallout 3 is game where it is best to turn off logical thinking but I can't physically do that. it may have been a detriment on my experience with the game as a result. Then again maybe Bethesda should learn how write and avoid such non-scenically quests.

that is not even the dumbest thing about fallout 3. ending spoilers bellow

Spoiler

the enclave president give you a modified FEV virus to poison the water with in order to kill all mutated people. The player is not genetically pure enough to be considered immune to the modified fev. There is zero reason to ever poison the water for your self unless you are stupid evil.
Bethesda needs to reconsider what there definition of a "moral choice". the least they stop lying to them selves and is rename bad karma to, stupid evil karma in fallout 4 if there definition of "moral choice" has not changed.

Hey, you have the choice to be stupid, naive or wrathful.

Dark Souls: I was experimenting with various enemies and noticed they if they are large but have a small shield - like the serpent warriors in Sen's Fortress - and use it then they can stick block arrows that being shot from above into their head.

Dragon's Dogma: There are a few occasions where you have to travel to a place whilst heeding the cries of 'SNOW HARPY SNOW HARPY SNOW HARPY' in order to see a cutscene full of barely comprehensible dialogue...only to travel back to Gran Soren. SNOW HARPY! Also in the same game are a bunch of characters who start to get interesting, some with the promise of contributing to the plot...only for them to never be a part of another quest, dialogue or part of the plot. It wouldn't be so bad but it's hard to tell what is a sidequest and what is part of the main quest in this game at times so you think the plot is thickening only for it to peter off.

Hotel Dusk Room 215: It's a DS game and there's a 'puzzle' where you have to flip two switches at the same time via the touch screen. The DS only registers one touch command at a time. It was such a bloody stupid thing to have to do.

Mass Effect 3: The DLC message at the end. I could have forgiven certain issues in the game by drawing my own conclusions based on the nature of the Reapers and blah blah blah but that message was the straw that broke the camel's back. There was no need for it to be there, it was immersion-breaking (at the end of the game no less) and was rather rude.

 

[Flammablezeus]

Having to unlock weapons in ranked multiplayer. If it's ranked, shouldn't everybody be on a level playing field? Plus, who wants to spend 50 hours unlocking everything just to be able to play the game the way they want to play it? Who on earth has that kind of patience and dedication? Just to play a few rounds of a game the way they want? Who would even want to play the game after that?!

 

[Reincarnatedwolfgod]

blowing megaton in fallout 3-

Spoiler

after recently seeing the outside world for the first time and mr. whats his name says
"arm the nuke,travel to ten penny tower, I will give you x caps"
the meme "seems legit" come to mind when look at this offer.
how do I know for sure if ten penny tower even exists at that point in the game. If you get to ten penny tower what stopping them from tying to kill me? If you are already willing to blow up a town full people; then you have no moral problems with potently killing me just to avoid paying me. You would need to be stupid evil to in order to justify blowing up megaton.

and if you do this later then you know the amount of caps you get for doing this is chump change and keeping megaton alive is more useful then the caps you get.

maybe fallout 3 is game where it is best to turn off logical thinking but I can't physically do that. it may have been a detriment on my experience with the game as a result. Then again maybe Bethesda should learn how write and avoid such non-scenically quests.

that is not even the dumbest thing about fallout 3. ending spoilers bellow

Spoiler

the enclave president give you a modified FEV virus to poison the water with in order to kill all mutated people. The player is not genetically pure enough to be considered immune to the modified fev. There is zero reason to ever poison the water for your self unless you are stupid evil.
Bethesda needs to reconsider what there definition of a "moral choice". the least they stop lying to them selves and is rename bad karma to, stupid evil karma in fallout 4 if there definition of "moral choice" has not changed.

Hey, you have the choice to be stupid, naive or wrathful.

If the evil options are going to be illogical and stupid then one should not get positive karma for being logical. That just makes the whole karma system broken.
now that think about I should have originally said the karma system in fallout 3 is not sensible along with the writing that contains theses "moral decisions".

 

[The White Hunter]

That guy just murdered a dude witha teacup, lets jump him!

 

[teebeeohh]

2: This one irked me the most. -Collect (fill in random anatomy object that is vital to survive or anything else you can clearly see the enemy has)-. Collect 10 bat wings, 1 in 20 bats drop them..I can clearly see that the bat has 2...why ..cant I get them? Does 1 magically fall off every 20th bat?
Or my alltime favorite, Im still confused and amazed at the same time, at how many creatures in rpg's are walking around without a brain or heart, I donno how it works out but for some reason they seem to manage.

i never get that complaint, if the guy wants intact batwings/legs/internal organs and you fight the thing by stabbing and/or shooting it with fireballs there is gonna be some unsuitable materials in there. this really only bugs when the questtext specifically says they want the ratasses as proof that you killed them. but most of these quests involve you getting ingredients for food/potions/research.

 

[Lilikins]

aye of course I see that, if they would ask for 'pristine' or flawless objects, no prob then, my mind automatically goes to 'I mustve nuked the hell out of that thing.' But if someones asks me to cull the local wildlife and collect 30 bear arses as proof that I ganked them....I dont think they need to be in pristine condition. If that NPC would add 'I want to make a coat out of it.', mmk np. But just telling me to kill them off...and then having it not drop is atleast for me..a bit.. yeahish.

 

[Vicarious Reality]

I dont get the Arena thing in The Witcher 2, it even has you gain levels which instantly vanish if you stop playing
Also, you have to lol at what the scroll button does in the first witcher, it moves the camera maybe a whole hand closer to you

Also, after playing for 127 hours plus that which Steam probably forgot, i finally found another clothes shop in GTA 4, god damn it felt like i found a whole expansion
Also also, what the hel is up with the car spawn mechanics in that game, today i went out from the riverside home and saw the entire street filled with Cavalcades, maybe there was some shitty white car too

 

[Atrophy]

In multiplayer, this guy is really good and is winning. How about we reward him to make the game easier for him.

This. It completely ruins the balance of multiplayer games. Yeah this guy just got 15 kills in a row, lets give him an attack chopper that lets him get another 20 kills for free.

It's just plain idiotic.

Yep. And thanks to the popularity of CoD, it's now apparently the norm in multiplayer FPS: MoH, Homefront, Battlefield, even Halo which used to be more balanced. I just don't get it.