Lessons you learned the hard way

[Jonluw]

Hiya escapists.

What the title says, really.
Tell us your amusing stories of lessons you learned the hard way.
[sub]Bonus points if the story is painful/humiliating.[/sub]

Spoiler: Mine. More will be added as I remember stuff.

If you want to have a good time and just get a little bit buzzed, feel free to drink strange cocktails and stuff like White russians.
If, on the other hand, you're trying to get drunk: stick to pure, preferrably clear, spirits.

I don't think I can ever drink anything that contains Kahlua again.

I've also learned that, while intoxicated, I am very easy to talk into doing pretty much anything.

Lesson: Even though it might seem like a natural choice considering its intended application area, intimate hygiene soap does not make for a good substitue for lube. It burns.

 

[teqrevisited]

Lesson: Don't use free-standing heavy objects with a high center of gravity to shield yourself from strong wind.

The long & short of it is that I ended up being hit square on the head by an 8x6ft wooden floor panel.

 

[Smertnik]

Turned on soldering rods are very hot and shouldn't be palmed.

 

[FernandoV]

I learned selling marijuana isn't as easy money as one believes.

 

[Esotera]

If you get electrocuted once by a dodgily earthed valve amp from the 70's, then it's probably a good idea to stop playing so it doesn't happen again.

Doing something well is almost always preferable to doing something quickly, and saves so much time in the long-term. Still learning this one.

 

[Jinxzy]

Lesson: Wait till the movie comes out on dvd.

Even if it's a good movie, people have lost respect for others around them. So paying the full ticket price does not entitle you to a good movie experience. No matter how many times you yell at someone for kicking your seat, there still going to do it. Even if there old enough to be your mother.

 

[Souldemon8]

Lesson: Learn to dispose of any kind of marijuana residue or paraphernalia properly.

(And what I mean by properly is not stuffing roaches rolling papers in your mattress when you know your step-mom has a habit of surprising you by cleaning your room, including making your bed.

 

[Gavmando]

That high school doesnt mean shit. And the dickheads who make it hell for you will end up on the dole, whilst you will have a good job and money.

 

[Gordon_4_v1legacy]

This is one I shouldn't have to have learned the hard way but the universe doesn't suffer fools.

Getting hit by a car is painful, and embarrassing when it's all your own fault.

 

[Necator15]

No matter how much you enjoying hanging out with people, there exists a definite upper limit for amount time spent together before you want to tear their throat out

Edit: Figuratively, of course.

 

[him over there]

The subtle difference between the figure of an overweight and a pregnant woman... God she was mad at me.