Let's cast the Gears movie!

[darthzew]

Name one scene in those games that couldn't be done using dubbed Gorillas.

Spoiler

When they finally find Dom's wife, and Dom is so focused on finding her that he hallucinates that she's just the way she was when she left, but she's actually a tortured, mentally deranged husk of a human being with no chance of recovery. Marcus has to bring Dom back to reality, and then walk away as Dom puts his pistol to her head to end her suffering.

Oh, let me guess--you never actually played the game, did you?

Why do you people think anyone really cares what you think of this game in a thread like this? Do you really believe yourselves to be SO HILARIOUS! that we NEED to hear your comments?

I was referring to the first one, which I have actually tried.

First one has no plot and, yes, it might as well be a bunch of gorillas shouting military stuff. But the second actually has plot. If they were to do a Gears movie, it'd probably be based on the second one. Or they'd make a new plot entirely.

 

[darthzew]

Just ignore Indigo, he's programmed to insult anything thats not on the PS3...as Gears is on the 360 he has to insult it..

Oh, I know--that's why when he said "And why do you act like thats insulting the game? When people are replaced with gorillas, the end result is usually awesome." all I could think was "except when it's Sony's marketing team."

Why has the Escapist turned into a place where we have to be dicks to anyone who likes something we don't?

It's not as bad as other places. Have you been to Gamespot's "System Wars" thread? It's hell.

 

[PedroSteckecilo]

Does it really matter? I can't think of a more annoying cast of characters than the meat heads in Gears of War.

Wow, that was so helpful! We thought we actually liked the characters until you let us know they are annoying! Thank you so much!
+++++

Now, moving on, how about two guys from The Shield--Lemanski as Baird and Vic as Marcus?

My first statement was unfair, but to make a decent film you'd need to completely rewrite the characters and the dialogue. Take this "brillaint scene" for example...

Carmine: "There must be a shit ton of grubs down there"
Marcus: "More like 10 shit tons"

or

"Lemme jus light up Betty's titties"

or my personal favorite

"They're sinking cities with a giant worm!"

Or the fact that Dom grows a family pretty much JUST so he can kill his wife in a tragic and manly manner later in the game while he cries manly tears so he can go and wreak manly vengeance with his manly chums now that wifey isn't in the way anymore. I just don't think you could possibly make a good movie out of this mess. Its fun to play sure, but you'd need to put in more storyline work than the mind of Cliffy B. can handle I'm sure.

 

[darthzew]

Why has the Escapist turned into a place where we have to be dicks to anyone who likes something we don't?

It's not as bad as other places. Have you been to Gamespot's "System Wars" thread? It's hell.

Oh, I know--it's just that even if you go from Seventh Heaven to, like, Fifth Heaven, even though it's not Hell, it's still a drop-off in the quality of posters.

Agreed. The Escapist is the best forum I've been in a long time and I'd like to keep it that way.

 

[darthzew]

Does it really matter? I can't think of a more annoying cast of characters than the meat heads in Gears of War.

Wow, that was so helpful! We thought we actually liked the characters until you let us know they are annoying! Thank you so much!
+++++

Now, moving on, how about two guys from The Shield--Lemanski as Baird and Vic as Marcus?

My first statement was unfair, but to make a decent film you'd need to completely rewrite the characters and the dialogue. Take this "brillaint scene" for example...

Carmine: "There must be a shit ton of grubs down there"
Marcus: "More like 10 shit tons"

or

"Lemme jus light up Betty's titties"

or my personal favorite

"They're sinking cities with a giant worm!"

Or the fact that Dom grows a family pretty much JUST so he can kill his wife in a tragic and manly manner later in the game while he cries manly tears so he can go and wreak manly vengeance with his manly chums now that wifey isn't in the way anymore. I just don't think you could possibly make a good movie out of this mess. Its fun to play sure, but you'd need to put in more storyline work than the mind of Cliffy B. can handle I'm sure.

Yeah, it'd need a bit reworking but I seriously believe that a Gears movie would be fun. Not intelligent or meaningful, mind you, but just fun. It'd probably be mostly a comedy. I laughed out loud with, "They're sinking cities with a GIANT WORM!"

 

[PedroSteckecilo]

See I LIKED the game, but I pretty much MST3K the dialogue and story the whole time, it's just god aweful.
I honestly can't see it being better than Doom, and that was pretty fucking aweful.

 

[Archemetis]

Bulky McGunchin - every character

I just wanted to put that in, not a fan of Gears, no need to yell at me, that's my only contribution...

 

[legolas23]

I once heard a rumor that Dave Batista (WWE wrestler Batista) would be signed on to play Marcus...I thought it would be interesting to see.

As for Baird, I agree on Owen Wilson...

For Cole, a friend of mine suggested Michael Clarke Duncan (AKA John Coffey from The Green Mile, the Kingpin in Daredevil, Atlas from God of War 2, etc.).

For Dom...Eh, I don't know about an actor for Dom.

 

[Lord Beautiful]

Arnold Shwartzenegger for Carmine
Chuck Norris for Marcus
Chris Tucker for Cole

 

[Blind0bserver]

First one has no plot and, yes, it might as well be a bunch of gorillas shouting military stuff. But the second actually has plot. If they were to do a Gears movie, it'd probably be based on the second one. Or they'd make a new plot entirely.

Okay, I haven't actually had the opportunity to play Gears but even so I'm shooting this idea down. Look at what happened to the Doom movie. The script was completely re-written (probably by people with no understanding of the source material) and it came out terrible. I'd say fans such as yourself would be better off in the long run with a movie that had the rather thin story of the first Gears rather than a story re-written by someone completely ignorant to the story.

 

[Shurikens and Lightning]

Eddie murphy plays every role in the movie. 'nuff said.

 

[Blind0bserver]

For Cole, a friend of mine suggested Michael Clarke Duncan (AKA John Coffey from The Green Mile, the Kingpin in Daredevil, Atlas from God of War 2, etc.).

Was he also in the Dark Knight? The prisoner who threw the detonator out the window, it just reminded me of the character in The Green Mile.

Actually, the guy your thinking of was the big guy that kept stealing stuff from people in Friday.

 

[legolas23]

Well, I seem to have found Hoffman's possible actor: R. Lee Ermy...Best known for hosting the show Mail Call on the History Channel
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._Lee_Ermey