Let's Play: Knights of the Old Republic II: Update 23: The Dark Side of the Force

[woodaba]

Spoiler

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Bob: "You seem restless."

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Bob: "This ain't no Smuggler's Moon, that's for damn sure."

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Bob: "Like Nar Shaddaa?"

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Bob: "How so?"

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Bob: "Kreia showed me how to 'listen' to Nar Shaddaa once...I felt all life there connected, bound to each other. Like it's all just us, in here, together. We're all we've got."

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Bob: "Maybe you'll be able to feel it one day too. I mean, every other human on this ship is a force sensitive, I'm fairly sure you are too."

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Bob: "Fair enough. I'm not sure I WANT to know any more about that hellhole. What's the deal with that Hannharr guy from back there, anyway?"

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Bob: "Cheery. What happened between you two?"

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Bob: "What do you mean?"

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Bob: "Alright. So, where'd you get that Rocket Launcher?"

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In case you didn't think Mira was any more OP in ranged combat, here, have constant access to super fast, supper accurate, high explosives!

Bob: "So, you said before that you don't kill your targets. Let's forget the fact you have a rocket launcher strapped to your wrists...why don't you kill them?"

Mira: "Why don't I murder people? ...uh...because I'm not a fucking psychopath? Because I'm the ONLY person on this ship who isn't a fucking psycho?"

Atton: "I resent that. I'm a recovering psychopath."

Kreia: "I'm not insane, just cold and manipulative."

Bob: "...just humor me."

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Bob: "Because you know that all life is connected. And you know what it feels like when one life is cut off from the many, the wounds those broken ties create - in family. Malachor...Malachor proved it."

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Bob: "Hey now, I never stop trying to protect others, even at Malachor! What we did there...it was a last resort. We only did what we had to do."

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Bob: "Well, now, that was just uncalled for."

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...and we gain influence for that, apparently. Um. Ok. I guess.

...let's go talk with someone marginally less crazy.

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Bob: "Tell me about Visas' master."

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Bob: "He destroyed her Homeword? I assume that's a figure of speech."

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Bob: "And he used it to kill an entire planet?"

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Bob: "I don't understand how he hasn't conquered the entire galaxy with that kind of power."

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Bob: "That kind of power...it's inconceivable."

Inigio Montoya: "That word. I'm not sure it means..."

Bob: "Shut up. I know what I meant."

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Bob: "That kind of power is impossible."

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Bob: "...her master?"

Kreia: "I misspoke. One of the unfortunate problems with a rushed development cycle, even simple spellchecking is left aside."

Bob: "...uh huh. So, how are they able to drain the force?"

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Bob: "But...all life is touched by the force. Except for droids, obviously, And accountants."

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Bob: "So he feeds on force sensitives?"

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Bob: "Don't worry. I'll punch the Sith Lord. That'll solve the problem. But, why did he spare Visas? He doesn't seem like the type that digs mercy."

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Bob: "...Kreia, what are you? Jedi, or Sith?"

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Bob: "For once in your goddamn life, give me an answer, not more cryptic bullshit."

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Bob: "Um."

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Bob: "Hmm, not sure I asked for a meglomaniacal rant, Dr.Doom."

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Bob: "...Kreia, what happened to you?"

I'm linking this cutscene below, because this scene really has to be seen to truly grasp it.


Every time I see that scene, I can't help but wince. Maybe it's because of how well the direction sells the sheer brutality and pain Sion is inflicting upon Kreia, or maybe it's because of the sheer horror I feel when I ponder the implications of the "indignities" Sion forced upon Kreia. I don't know, but I do know that this is one of the most memorable and horrifying scenes in any Star Wars story. Instantly, we see Kreia reduced from her normal position of machaivellian manipulator to a broken old woman. It's a very human side to Kreia, and successfully imparts a big reveal in the story - that Kreia was indeed a Sith Lord - without hitting the player over the head with it.

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Bob: "I need more than that, Kreia."

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That done, let's head over to the cockpit to prepare for takeoff.

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Bob: "You can say that again. Did you know Mira?"

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Bob: "I think I'd like this journey a hell of a lot more if we ran into more of those."

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And with that, it's off to our next destination: Onderon.

 

[woodaba]

Spoiler

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Bob: "Oh, great. Traffic jams. Y'know, I would have thought being in space would let us get away from this crap. Three dimensional movement, guys! It's a thing!"

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Bob: "...why? Last I checked, we weren't smuggling anything."

Mira: "...I might have brought some Red Sand on with me."

Bob: "...how much?"

Mira: "...a lot."

Bob: "...how much is a lot?"

Mira: "478 Crates."

Bob: "...how the fuck do we even fit that on board?"

Mira: "I brought a Tardis on with me."

Bob: "Oh, well, that's all right then. I can't question that."

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Bob: "With a name like that, you just KNOW he's the friendliest, cuddliest, guy."

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In response to the attack, the Ebon Hawk takes immediate evasive action.

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Bob: "Gah! Why is it that everywhere we go, someone wants to shove lazer bolts up our collective arses? It can't be me, when I'm obviously such a charming, harmless fellow."

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Bob: "I'll man the turret. Just keep her steady. Time to return the favor."

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Hey! Remember that turret minigame from KotOR 1? No? Well, neither did Obsidian, apparently. This is literally the only instance of turret combat in the entire game. To be fair though, it seems more effort was put into this than any of the sections in Kotor 1! I mean, you move around a clearly defined battlegroud and everything! And there's scenery! SCENERY!

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Sadly, it's still about as interesting as most turret sequences are, but, hey. At least they tried.

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Bob: "Aww."

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As we flee the scene of the crime, we see a giant space battle started up just behind us. I guess Bob and crew made it look like so much fun, everyone wanted to join in.

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Bob: "Well, the people on Dantooine didn't immediately try to kill us. They were assholes, but I suppose that's the best you can ask for. How badly is the ship damaged?"

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Bob: "Any idea where we are?"

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Bob: "We can't stay here. We need to get to Onderon."

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Bob: "...what the fuck is a Flipdarter? I swear, you assholes are making these up as you go along."

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Bob: "Let's head to the outpost, then."

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And here we are on the surface of Dxun. We're bringing Mira and Bao-Dur along, for reasons that should become self-evident soon enough.

Bob: "Hey, Mira, listen, I wanted to apologize."

[http://s295.photobucket.com/user/woodaba2/media/Kotor%202%20Lets%20Play%20Part%20Nine/2014-07-22_00360_zps0068d796.jpg.html]

Bob: "Still, I'm sorry you lost your family at Malachor. Well, I assume that's what got you angry."

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Bob: "What do you mean?"

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Bob: "It's like I said! Everything's connected through the force. Doing things like that, little acts of kindness, can lead to great things, y'know."

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Bob: "Let's leave it then."

Moving into the jungle, we come across a few familiar faces.

[http://s295.photobucket.com/user/woodaba2/media/Kotor%202%20Lets%20Play%20Part%20Nine/2014-07-22_00374_zpsee8903a8.jpg.html]

Bob: "Oh, it's YOU weird looking fuckers again. Well, guess what bitches? I got a few new tricks up my sleeve. Feast your eyes on this!"

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...I'm not sure why they thought the image of a tiger sneaking up on some...frog...things was worth a cutscene, but there you go.

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Soon, we got a call from Atton.

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Bob: "Great. Just what I wanted to hear. Thanks, Atton. Over and out."

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After killing another group of Cannocks, Bao-Dur and Mira level up.

[http://s295.photobucket.com/user/woodaba2/media/Kotor%202%20Lets%20Play%20Part%20Nine/2014-07-22_00390_zpsc2044bc7.jpg.html]

Bao-Dur is not apparently so good that he breaks the goodness scale. Take that, Jesus.

In a clearing off the beaten path, we find a crashed Republic ship.

[http://s295.photobucket.com/user/woodaba2/media/Kotor%202%20Lets%20Play%20Part%20Nine/2014-07-22_00391_zps76e6205c.jpg.html]

Near the crash site, we find one of the logs from the ship.

"Revan said we must take Dxun. Our wing of military droid carriers are to fly in low and drop our payload onto the jungle moon. Once the droids hit dirtside, they'll seek out the Mandalorian base and pave the way for our ground troops - and the Jedi. We're expecting heavy resistance, and if the droids can't take out the anti-air turrets, this is going to be one short mission.

But we cannot fail... if we do, the Republic is lost."

Bob: "Dammit Jenkins...what did I tell you about tempting fate before missions. The Force doesn't like that! It will go out of it's way to murder you with such a determination you'd feel like the only black guy in a horror movie."

That thing about the robots gives me an idea though...

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With the computer switched on, we'll be able to use the robots we find on the trail against our enemies.

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Bob: "...or we could just punch them. Seems to be working ok so far. I'm going to keep at it."

Mira: "(sigh)...why the hell am I even here?"

 

[woodaba]

Spoiler

Soon, Atton chimes in again.

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Bob: "You read my mind. Bob out."

As we move further up the pass, we get a vision of the future, telling us about a group of aliens in front of a crashed ship...

[http://s295.photobucket.com/user/woodaba2/media/Kotor%202%20Lets%20Play%20Part%20Nine/2014-07-22_00417_zps29b1fdb8.jpg.html]

...right before it comes into view. Gee, thanks, The Force. You're about as useful as most non-specific vague magical bullshit entities in fiction. That is to say, not at all.

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Bob: "...really? You're still going with the "I'm your bounty" nonsense? Yeah, I can see that you're riiiiiiiight on that. I can see how hard it would be to turn in that bounty, given that you can talk to the person who issued the bounty by talking to his droid ACROSS THE FUCKING ROOM."

Mira: "...feel better?"

Bob: "Yeah. I think I just needed to vent. Fucking Windows 8."

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Bob: "Who the hell are you assholes?"

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Bob: "Yeah, I heard of the Zhugs. They seemed quite interesting - and then I punched them in the soul and left them in a burning starship."

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Bob: "I shouldn't even be saying this at this stage, but...Why are you hunting me?"

Zhug: "The Exchange has-"

Bob: "Yeah. I think I've heard enough. Let's do it."

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Bob: "...clearly this is a foe that warranted the Force warning us about."

Near the crashed ship, we find a skeleton clutching a decaying datapad.

"...hidden Mandalorian anti-air turrets forced us to crash outside the landing zone. We lost half our troops to beasts streaming out of the jungle, and the rest of us are getting hammered by Mandalorian emplacements. We're pinned down, cutt off from command, and the thumping of the big guns hasn't died down for hours. Where are those dammned Jedi?"

Bob: "Look, we had a perfectly good excuse. We were smoking some...hmm."

Bao-Dur: "Actually, I think we were playing Hal...hmm."

Mira: "Need some time to think."

Bob/Bao-Dur: "Yup."

Meanwhile...

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Soldier: "Sir...one detachment? To all of Dxun? Sir...it's a moon. You want one detachment to search...a moon. An entire moon."

Colonel Tobin: "Yes. Are you questioning my orders?"

Soldier: "No, sir, no, it's just...one detachment? To search a moon? Are you expecting that to be done sometime this century, or the next? Because if we want it done in any reasonable timeframe, one detachment searching one fairly large planetoid isn't the way to go. You might want to send an army. Or several. This isn't like searching a city block, or Starbucks. It's like searching a tiny version of the planet."

Tobin: "Do you have a point, soldier?"

Soldier: "(sigh) No sir..."

Tobin: "Good. Now, send one detachment down to Dxun. I'm going to have my sponge bath. Send Lieutenant Ducky to my bath quarters."

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Soldier: "...yes sir...this is so not worth the dental plan."

Meanwhile, back on the surface...

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Bob: "I wonder what barbequed Cannock tastes like."

Mia: "Human foot."

Bob: "How...how did...why...what? What? What?"

Up ahead we see another squad of HK-50 droids.

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Bob: "Yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah, let's fight already!"

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Off the beaten track, we come across a bunker, and in front of it...

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Bob: "Mandalorians don't work alone. What was one doing here?"

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Apparently, Mandalorian bunkers use the same doors as Jedi temples on Dantooin during the Jedi Civil War.

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Bob: "Hah, yeah. I don't think so. BOOOOOOOOOOOOB PAUUUUNCH!"

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Bob: "And that, is that."

Mira: "I have no words. I used to have them, but they're gone now."

[http://s295.photobucket.com/user/woodaba2/media/Kotor%202%20Lets%20Play%20Part%20Nine/2014-07-22_00481_zps79fa4748.jpg.html]

LOOOOOOOOOOT.

After kicking a few tigers in the face...

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Bob: "Take that, PETA!"

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A group of figures decloak, and suddenly...

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Bob: "What is it with you Mandalorians and this godammned moon?"

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Bob: "I'm thinking of starting a Czerka office here. I sense a lot of untapped potential."

[http://s295.photobucket.com/user/woodaba2/media/Kotor%202%20Lets%20Play%20Part%20Nine/2014-07-22_00493_zpsddc0dc0d.jpg.html]

Bob: "Is that a threat, buckethead?"

[http://s295.photobucket.com/user/woodaba2/media/Kotor%202%20Lets%20Play%20Part%20Nine/2014-07-22_00495_zps1d762b14.jpg.html]

Bob: "Fine then, buckethead. Take me to your leader. I love saying that."

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Mira: "...what?"

Bao-dur: "What!?"

Bob: "WHAT!?"

NEXT TIME: ODD JOBS ON SPACE-VIETNAM

Question Time! What would you, personally, like to see from the Star Wars sequels? Setting aside what we have heard from them..good or ill. Personally, while I do like stuff like the Thrawn trilogy, I would much rather see new stories about new characters set in universe rather than just wallowing in Nostalgia by dragging out an aging cast.

 

[AD-Stu]

I had a feeling there was at least one more turret section in the game...

Spoiler

during the siege of the palace, on the return to Onderon

...but I could be imagining that. Or it might have been optional with some hacking. Dunno, it's been years.

Anywho, this is one of my favourite sections of the game. Even if some of it is just odd jobs and busy work, the Mandalorians are awesome

 

[gamptrak]

I had a feeling there was at least one more turret section in the game...

Spoiler

during the siege of the palace, on the return to Onderon

...but I could be imagining that. Or it might have been optional with some hacking. Dunno, it's been years.

Anywho, this is one of my favourite sections of the game. Even if some of it is just odd jobs and busy work, the Mandalorians are awesome

I think you're right about the turret section

Spoiler

Though it is optional. If I recall correctly, its used to aid the group that you sided with to win the battle

And the Mandalorians were always my favourite too. Always felt at home while on Dxun, there's a sense of kinship. The exile joins another group of exiles. Ironically its the only place that treats with you any sort of respect too.

 

[Gone Rampant]

I don't know what to expect from Star Wars 7 through 9, because, well, we know nothing about it. Once we know even a summary of the plot I'll figure out what I would prefer.

Well, I'd like the real Revan, Exile and HK 47 (Not those pansies from the Revan novel) to show up in a time gate and solve everyone's problems, but that's just me.

Actually, I do have one thing- ditch the OG cast and go for a new story. Nothing carried over from Jedi- set it a hundred years after and do a new cast and a new journey.

 

[woodaba]

I had a feeling there was at least one more turret section in the game...

Spoiler

during the siege of the palace, on the return to Onderon

I think you're right about the turret section

Spoiler

Though it is optional. If I recall correctly, its used to aid the group that you sided with to win the battle

You're both correct: there is another turret segment later in the game, and like this one, it's entirely optional. In fact, unlike this one, which is given in a conversation, it's not even immediately obvious: you have to hack into a computer, if memory serves correctly.

I have the footage for the next update all captured and ready to go, but since I'll be very busy for a week or so, don't expect it to be out on any regular basis: it'll be out when I find time to finish it. Fortunately, we'll be back to the schedule I really wanna stick to after the 14th.

 

[SantoUno]

I read this five months later, and no update? Sad day indeed.

 

[philby00]

*epic bump alert*
Hi, I've been following this LP for a while and playing a game of my own with a kung fu jedi exile at the same time. Just got to the last page What happened? Is the original poster still around? I literally just signed up to ask if this is ever going to continue or finish! Cheers