Lets Play: Mass Effect (Updated - Ch 6 Part 2 - Virmire)

CM156_v1legacy · Feb 11, 2012

AD-Stu said:
CM156 said:

Works for me, buddy. Works for me.

Let's do this!

Question: Do you think you'll continue into ME2 after you do this?

Click to expand...

LOL - it'd end up twice as long as this thread, but if there's demand for it I can probably give it a crack. One step at a time though

Just asking if ya had any plans.

Personally, I'm in limbo on whether or not I'll be getting ME3 at this point. First world problems and all that

Zen Toombs · Feb 12, 2012

AD-Stu said:
Phew! Thus draws to an end our voyage on the SSV Long-Arse Conversation. It also brings us to a choice - how are we going to proceed with our investigation? Which lead do we chase down? Do we:

A - Go find Harkin in Chora's Den?
(Pros: strippers and booze. Cons: this Harkin guy sounds like a bum, so we might have to pay)

or...

B - Track down the Shadow Broker's representative?
(Pros: we get to use the company credit card. Cons: no strippers or booze.)

Vote away people, and as always, thanks for reading

I vote that you should do the "talk to Harkin and then talk to Barla Von" path. I also vote for you to have Wrex kill Fist. Or you to kill Fist. I don't really care, just have the dude die.[footnote]How do you think I really feel on this subject?[/footnote]

AD-Stu · Feb 14, 2012

[HEADING=2]CHAPTER 2, PART 2 (Citadel) - I was promised strippers and booze...[/HEADING]

Previously, on Lets Play Mass Effect: we let Ambassador Udina accuse a Spectre of treason without a shred of evidence, and get diplomatically bitchslapped for it. Then, in the spirit of doing things arse-backwards, Grunka was made responsible for finding some evidence and was been given two leads: a drunk in a strip joint, or an accountant who may or may not be a representative of the Shadow Broker.

The strippers and booze option of going to find Harkin had the lead with voters when this incredibly sensible suggestion was made:

TopazFusion said:
May I suggest doing both.
Visit Harkin first, then visit Barla Von.

Sounds like the best of both worlds to me, so that's what we're going to do.

There's a rapid transit station back in the foyer - Chora's Den has been added to it now, so we can skip straight there.

Easy as that! Booze and strippers ahoy! But take two steps and:

Huh. A couple of turian assassins. Tech powers and good old fashioned bullets finish them off pretty quickly.

"Those were Saren's men."

"What makes you say that? Was it just because they were turian? Because I thought Ash was supposed to be the racist one in this game... for all we know they might've just been trying to serve me all my backdated parking fines or something."

"Why would we kill them if they were just trying to serve you backdated fines ma'am?"

*shrugs* "They can't serve me if they're dead, can they? I do like that Saren angle though, I'm gonna use it if this ever goes to trial. Now let's get going."

And here it is, Chora's Den in all its glory.

"A million light years from where humanity began and we walk into a bar filled with men drooling over half-naked women shaking their asses on a stage. I can't decide if that's funny or sad."

"What? You don't think they're here because of the food?"

"Actually, I could go a plate of nachos right about now..."

"I was being facetious, Commander - I don't even think they have food here other than those bowls of peanuts that you probably shouldn't touch. Plus it's plain to see why this place is so popular. It's got quite the, uh, view."

"Hey, lieutenant, put your tongue back in your mouth before you trip on it."

"Ugh... no nachos and I'm still stuck with you two. I need a drink."

"Dammit! How am I supposed to crack this case and put up with these two sober? That's so frustrating I'm not even going to ponder why they've named this particular bartender NPC. Now maybe those two krogan over there know something..."

"What was that all about?"

"Who knows? Let's just try not to get caught in the middle."

Krogan are large, tough and generally violent creatures. How tough, I hear you ask? They have four testicles. Four. 'nuff said. Despite this, Grunka decides that if she can't get drunk in here then krogan baiting seems like the next best thing to do - let's go talk to that bouncer:

"What did that other krogan want? Wrex?"

"Personal matter."

Huh. This guy seems like no fun either. I guess we'll have to do what we came here to do, and go find Harkin in the main bar.

Oh yeah, this is going to go well...

*mutters to Kaidan* "Hey Lieutenant, how long before you think the Commander pulls a gun on this douchebag? I'm setting the line at a minute twenty."

*mutters back* "I think the Commander has a little more restraint than that - I'll take the over for a hundred credits. Start the clock."

"You trying to hurt my feelings? You gotta do better than that. After twenty years with C-Sec, I've been called every name in the book, princess."

"Call me princess again and you'll be picking your teeth up off the floor. Now tell me where Garrus is!"

*sighs* "I am so screwed..."

"Okay, okay. Just relax. Garrus, you say? Heh. You must be one of Anderson's crew. Poor bastard's still trying to bring Saren down, eh? I know where Garrus is. But you gotta tell me something first. Did the captain let you in on his big secret?"

"Screwed up his mission so bad they kicked him out. Of course, he blames Saren. Says the turian set him up."

"OK, I'll bite - why'd they kick him out?"

"Have to ask him. I never heard any of the details. Bet it's a good story though. The hero's fall. Classic tragedy. Ha!"

"And it's NOT set to stun."

*fistpumps* "Ship it, lieutenant - a hundred credits!"

Note that unless we already knew who this Dr Michel is (and there's no suggestion that we do), then the information Harkin has just given us is about as useful as telling us "he's in that bar on the other side of New York". Grunka seems satisfied though, because she starts asking other questions.

"He'll pay for it soon enough. The executor loves to put us lowly field agents in our place. Just look at what happened to me."

"You need to look in a mirror. Sober up and take some responsibility for yourself!"

"Save your sermons. This ain't no church."

"That's probably why he climbed the Alliance ranks so fast. The military loves brown-nosers."

"The captain's a good solider."

"Sure. Whatever. Dress him up in a fancy suit, pin some shiny medals on his chest and call him a hero. Everyone else does. But if he's so great, why'd the Spectres kick him out? Why don't you go ask him about that?"

"Maybe because even watching one of these asari dancers bump and grind would be a better use of my time? Now I bid you good day."

"But what about..."

"I said good day!"

"Yep, totally proves my point. Much better use of my time."

Once again: the Miranda arse-shot wasn't without precedent. On the way out of the bar, Ash and Kaiden hypothesise about what we've just learned.

"Why didn't Captain Anderson tell us he used to be a Spectre?"

"Maybe it's not true. Harkin's an ass. I bet he's just messing with our heads."

"You're probably right. Still, I'd like to hear what the captain has to say about all this."

"A hundred credits say it won't be the full story."

"I can't possibly be wrong twice in a day - you're on Commander."

Following the natural progression here would mean going to the med clinic and looking for Garrus, but as planned we're going to take a detour via Barla Von's office to see if the Shadow Broker has any relevant info. Back to the rapid transit station!

We didn't have the financial district stop unlocked yet, so we'll have to walk from the embassies. On the way we stop to admire the view:

I think I mentioned last update that the Presidium is a ring - you can see it curving away and disappearing off into the distance at the top of the screen. The ceiling, IIRC, displays a simulated day/night cycle like a more boring version of Freemont Street in Vegas. And yes, they have trees, lakes and fountains in here. Inside a space station. Pretty baller IMO. We only have access to one very small portion of the Presidium ring in this game, the area immediately surrounding the embassies.

Anywho, on the other side of this bridge and to the right is the "financial district". Barla Von's office is at the end.

Let's go see what he knows.

"Forgive me, Earth-clan. My name is Barla Von. My job makes it necessary for me to keep informed. I am a financial advisor to many important clients here on the Citadel. When someone as important as yourself arrives on the station, I take notice."

"I heard you work for the Shadow Broker. Do you have any information about Saren?"

"You Earth-clan really are about as subtle as a rancor on heat, aren't you... OK, yes, I work for the Broker and have some information."

"I hear your information can be expensive. You take Amex, right?"

"There is no catch. The Shadow Broker is quite upset with Saren right now. They used to do a lot of business. Until Saren turned on him."

"Saren betrayed him. Imagine that."

"No matter what you think of Saren, he's not stupid. He knows the Shadow Broker is a valuable ally. Turning on him doesn't make sense. Not unless something huge was at stake."

Sounds familiar, no? Grunka thinks so:

"Isn't it strange that a krogan would want to speak with C-Sec?"

"Very. However, I doubt the visit was entirely his choice. You'll need to speak with him if you want to know more."

We can ask this guy for more information on the Shadow Broker but he doesn't know anything more than Anderson did last update: could be anyone, could even be a group of people, and always sells information to the highest bidder. Except when it's convenient to just give the information away for free, apparently.

Barla Von is a volus, by the way. They all wear those funny little spacesuits because they breathe ammonia rather than air and require a high-pressure atmosphere to survive. They've been on the Citadel a lot longer than humans but don't have a seat on the Council because they're unable to meet the military demands placed on Council races. They're supposed to be excellent with finances though.

We've now got two options, finding Garrus at the med clinic or Wrex at C-sec. We go to the nearby rapid transit station...

...and discover that we only have an option for the med clinic. Grunka can't be arsed walking, that's where we're going:

Let's go inside:

Yay, more combat! These thugs don't prove much of a challenge either:

Seriously, this one just crouched there while I shot him repeatedly in the face at short range:

"I know those men threatened you. But if you tell us who they work for, we can protect you *sotto voce* for as long as we stay on the Citadel. Which might not be long."

"They work for Fist. They wanted to shut me up, keep me from telling Garrus about the quarian."

"What quarian?"

"I think you mean 'which quarian?', but anyway, a few days ago, a quarian came by my office. She'd been shot, but she wouldn't tell me who did it. I could tell she was scared, probably on the run. She asked me about the Shadow Broker. She wanted to trade information in exchange for a safe place to hide."

"Where is she now?"

"I put her in contact with Fist. He's an agent for the Shadow Broker."

"That quarian must have soemthing Saren wants. Something worth crossing the Shadow Broker to get."

"Time we paid Fist a visit."

"This is your show, Shepard. Your game, even. But I want to bring Saren down as much as you do. I'm coming with you!"

"You're a turian. Why do you want to bring him down?"

"I couldn't find the proof I needed in my investigation. But I knew what was really going on. Saren's a traitor to the Council, and a disgrace to my people!"

"OK, sounds fair. Tell me, how do you feel about regular bathing?"

"Um... it's what civilised people do? Why do you ask?"

"Nevermind. Welcome aboard, Garrus."

"Last I heard, he was at the C-Sec Academy."

"What's he doing there?"

"Fist accused him of making threats. We brought Wrex in for a little talk. If you hurry, you can catch him at the academy before he leaves."

Sounds like a plan. We'll send Ash to the bench and have Garrus join us for the moment. He's a Turian Agent, which pretty similar to our own Infiltrator class with a bit of Soldier mixed in, and is pretty handy all-round. He starts with a point each in Decryption and First Aid, here's how I distributed the rest of his starting points:

While we're at it, here's an update on our stats:

Since two different people have told us about Wrex the krogan at C-Sec, let's go there next and see what his deal is. The entry is just down the hall from the med clinic.

Just thought I'd throw that screenshot in there with no context - this is the first time I've played the game with subtitles turned on and I'd never considered its potential for unintentional hilarity.

Anywho, down the stairs there's a corridoor, then a lift that takes us to C-Sec.

...and here's our first experience with one of the common complaints about ME1: elevators. The developers used them to mask loading times or something, but it seems from the feedback most people would have just prefered a normal loading screen (which is what we got in ME2). Upside for you guys: since this is a screenshot LP, you don't have to wait through them. To keep us amused whenever we're in a long-ish ride (like this one) you'll hear either news reports or a discussion between your squadmates (some of which are quite amusing). We get a news report this time:

"Proponents of expanded human colonization insist that Eden Prime was an isolated case. Nevertheless, colonist enrollment has dropped sharply. Many colonial proposals are on hold until backers have some reassurance that human colonies will be adequately protected. You stay classy, Citadel."

Here we are at C-Sec. We find Wrex just inside the foyer:

"Hah! If you're really willing to do something about it, why did you just piss yourself? Seriously, you're making a mess all over the floor. And besides,"

"You want me to arrest you?"

"I want you to try."

"Do I know you?"

"Shepard? Commander Shepard? I've heard a lot about you. Some of it is... disturbing. We're both warriors, Shepard. Out of respect, I'll give you fair warning. I'm going to kill Fist."

"Let's go. I break out in a horrible rash if I don't kill something at least once every three hours and besides, I hate to keep Fist waiting."

With Wrex along for the ride, we'll bench Kaidan for a while as well. Here's Wrex's stats:

Wrex is a Krogan Battlemaster, basically a Vanguard with a bit of Soldier and loads of health. He starts with a point each in Warp and Barrier and I've distributed the rest of his points across Assault Rifles (which he'll use a lot), Armor (with a view to quickly unlocking the Fitness perks) and his Krogan Battlemaster base talent, which has some handy all-round bonuses.

That about wraps up this chapter. Tune in next time, when we'll either go start a bar fight, or faff around insulting various alien species - I haven't decided yet

As an aside, does anyone have any suggestions on potential skill tree choices for our squadmates? I'm thinking of focussing largely on the combat abilities for Garrus, for example, given our own skill set means we won't need him to have high level Decryption / Electronics for unlocking stuff. Will be interested to hear how others build these character stats

Zen Toombs · Feb 14, 2012

TopazFusion said:
Just thought I'd mention it, because . . .

if you have Wrex and Ashley together when you take down Fist, and tiny bit of Virmire foreshadowing occurs.

Really? That's so cool! *sprints off to try it*

CM156_v1legacy · Feb 14, 2012

AD-Stu said:
[HEADING=2]CHAPTER 2, PART 2 (Citadel) - I was promised strippers and booze...[/HEADING]

Previously, on Lets Play Mass Effect: we let Ambassador Udina accuse a Spectre of treason without a shred of evidence, and get diplomatically bitchslapped for it. Then, in the spirit of doing things arse-backwards, Grunka was made responsible for finding some evidence and was been given two leads: a drunk in a strip joint, or an accountant who may or may not be a representative of the Shadow Broker.

The strippers and booze option of going to find Harkin had the lead with voters when this incredibly sensible suggestion was made:

TopazFusion said:

May I suggest doing both.
Visit Harkin first, then visit Barla Von.

Click to expand...

Sounds like the best of both worlds to me, so that's what we're going to do.

There's a rapid transit station back in the foyer - Chora's Den has been added to it now, so we can skip straight there.

Easy as that! Booze and strippers ahoy! But take two steps and:

Huh. A couple of turian assassins. Tech powers and good old fashioned bullets finish them off pretty quickly.

"Those were Saren's men."

"What makes you say that? Was it just because they were turian? Because I thought Ash was supposed to be the racist one in this game... for all we know they might've just been trying to serve me all my backdated parking fines or something."

"Why would we kill them if they were just trying to serve you backdated fines ma'am?"

*shrugs* "They can't serve me if they're dead, can they? I do like that Saren angle though, I'm gonna use it if this ever goes to trial. Now let's get going."

And here it is, Chora's Den in all its glory.

"A million light years from where humanity began and we walk into a bar filled with men drooling over half-naked women shaking their asses on a stage. I can't decide if that's funny or sad."

"What? You don't think they're here because of the food?"

"Actually, I could go a plate of nachos right about now..."

"I was being facetious, Commander - I don't even think they have food here other than those bowls of peanuts that you probably shouldn't touch. Plus it's plain to see why this place is so popular. It's got quite the, uh, view."

"Hey, lieutenant, put your tongue back in your mouth before you trip on it."

"Ugh... no nachos and I'm still stuck with you two. I need a drink."

"Dammit! How am I supposed to crack this case and put up with these two sober? That's so frustrating I'm not even going to ponder why they've named this particular bartender NPC. Now maybe those two krogan over there know something..."

"What was that all about?"

"Who knows? Let's just try not to get caught in the middle."

Krogan are large, tough and generally violent creatures. How tough, I hear you ask? They have four testicles. Four. 'nuff said. Despite this, Grunka decides that if she can't get drunk in here then krogan baiting seems like the next best thing to do - let's go talk to that bouncer:

"What did that other krogan want? Wrex?"

"Personal matter."

Huh. This guy seems like no fun either. I guess we'll have to do what we came here to do, and go find Harkin in the main bar.

Oh yeah, this is going to go well...

*mutters to Kaidan* "Hey Lieutenant, how long before you think the Commander pulls a gun on this douchebag? I'm setting the line at a minute twenty."

*mutters back* "I think the Commander has a little more restraint than that - I'll take the over for a hundred credits. Start the clock."

"You trying to hurt my feelings? You gotta do better than that. After twenty years with C-Sec, I've been called every name in the book, princess."

"Call me princess again and you'll be picking your teeth up off the floor. Now tell me where Garrus is!"

*sighs* "I am so screwed..."

"Okay, okay. Just relax. Garrus, you say? Heh. You must be one of Anderson's crew. Poor bastard's still trying to bring Saren down, eh? I know where Garrus is. But you gotta tell me something first. Did the captain let you in on his big secret?"

"Screwed up his mission so bad they kicked him out. Of course, he blames Saren. Says the turian set him up."

"OK, I'll bite - why'd they kick him out?"

"Have to ask him. I never heard any of the details. Bet it's a good story though. The hero's fall. Classic tragedy. Ha!"

"And it's NOT set to stun."

*fistpumps* "Ship it, lieutenant - a hundred credits!"

Note that unless we already knew who this Dr Michel is (and there's no suggestion that we do), then the information Harkin has just given us is about as useful as telling us "he's in that bar on the other side of New York". Grunka seems satisfied though, because she starts asking other questions.

"He'll pay for it soon enough. The executor loves to put us lowly field agents in our place. Just look at what happened to me."

"You need to look in a mirror. Sober up and take some responsibility for yourself!"

"Save your sermons. This ain't no church."

"That's probably why he climbed the Alliance ranks so fast. The military loves brown-nosers."

"The captain's a good solider."

"Sure. Whatever. Dress him up in a fancy suit, pin some shiny medals on his chest and call him a hero. Everyone else does. But if he's so great, why'd the Spectres kick him out? Why don't you go ask him about that?"

"Maybe because even watching one of these asari dancers bump and grind would be a better use of my time? Now I bid you good day."

"But what about..."

"I said good day!"

"Yep, totally proves my point. Much better use of my time."

Once again: the Miranda arse-shot wasn't without precedent. On the way out of the bar, Ash and Kaiden hypothesise about what we've just learned.

"Why didn't Captain Anderson tell us he used to be a Spectre?"

"Maybe it's not true. Harkin's an ass. I bet he's just messing with our heads."

"You're probably right. Still, I'd like to hear what the captain has to say about all this."

"A hundred credits say it won't be the full story."

"I can't possibly be wrong twice in a day - you're on Commander."

Following the natural progression here would mean going to the med clinic and looking for Garrus, but as planned we're going to take a detour via Barla Von's office to see if the Shadow Broker has any relevant info. Back to the rapid transit station!

We didn't have the financial district stop unlocked yet, so we'll have to walk from the embassies. On the way we stop to admire the view:

I think I mentioned last update that the Presidium is a ring - you can see it curving away and disappearing off into the distance at the top of the screen. The ceiling, IIRC, displays a simulated day/night cycle like a more boring version of Freemont Street in Vegas. And yes, they have trees, lakes and fountains in here. Inside a space station. Pretty baller IMO. We only have access to one very small portion of the Presidium ring in this game, the area immediately surrounding the embassies.

Anywho, on the other side of this bridge and to the right is the "financial district". Barla Von's office is at the end.

Let's go see what he knows.

"Forgive me, Earth-clan. My name is Barla Von. My job makes it necessary for me to keep informed. I am a financial advisor to many important clients here on the Citadel. When someone as important as yourself arrives on the station, I take notice."

"I heard you work for the Shadow Broker. Do you have any information about Saren?"

"You Earth-clan really are about as subtle as a rancor on heat, aren't you... OK, yes, I work for the Broker and have some information."

"I hear your information can be expensive. You take Amex, right?"

"There is no catch. The Shadow Broker is quite upset with Saren right now. They used to do a lot of business. Until Saren turned on him."

"Saren betrayed him. Imagine that."

"No matter what you think of Saren, he's not stupid. He knows the Shadow Broker is a valuable ally. Turning on him doesn't make sense. Not unless something huge was at stake."

Sounds familiar, no? Grunka thinks so:

"Isn't it strange that a krogan would want to speak with C-Sec?"

"Very. However, I doubt the visit was entirely his choice. You'll need to speak with him if you want to know more."

We can ask this guy for more information on the Shadow Broker but he doesn't know anything more than Anderson did last update: could be anyone, could even be a group of people, and always sells information to the highest bidder. Except when it's convenient to just give the information away for free, apparently.

Barla Von is a volus, by the way. They all wear those funny little spacesuits because they breathe ammonia rather than air and require a high-pressure atmosphere to survive. They've been on the Citadel a lot longer than humans but don't have a seat on the Council because they're unable to meet the military demands placed on Council races. They're supposed to be excellent with finances though.

We've now got two options, finding Garrus at the med clinic or Wrex at C-sec. We go to the nearby rapid transit station...

...and discover that we only have an option for the med clinic. Grunka can't be arsed walking, that's where we're going:

Let's go inside:

Yay, more combat! These thugs don't prove much of a challenge either:

Seriously, this one just crouched there while I shot him repeatedly in the face at short range:

"I know those men threatened you. But if you tell us who they work for, we can protect you *sotto voce* for as long as we stay on the Citadel. Which might not be long."

"They work for Fist. They wanted to shut me up, keep me from telling Garrus about the quarian."

"What quarian?"

"I think you mean 'which quarian?', but anyway, a few days ago, a quarian came by my office. She'd been shot, but she wouldn't tell me who did it. I could tell she was scared, probably on the run. She asked me about the Shadow Broker. She wanted to trade information in exchange for a safe place to hide."

"Where is she now?"

"I put her in contact with Fist. He's an agent for the Shadow Broker."

"That quarian must have soemthing Saren wants. Something worth crossing the Shadow Broker to get."

"Time we paid Fist a visit."

"This is your show, Shepard. Your game, even. But I want to bring Saren down as much as you do. I'm coming with you!"

"You're a turian. Why do you want to bring him down?"

"I couldn't find the proof I needed in my investigation. But I knew what was really going on. Saren's a traitor to the Council, and a disgrace to my people!"

"OK, sounds fair. Tell me, how do you feel about regular bathing?"

"Um... it's what civilised people do? Why do you ask?"

"Nevermind. Welcome aboard, Garrus."

"Last I heard, he was at the C-Sec Academy."

"What's he doing there?"

"Fist accused him of making threats. We brought Wrex in for a little talk. If you hurry, you can catch him at the academy before he leaves."

Sounds like a plan. We'll send Ash to the bench and have Garrus join us for the moment. He's a Turian Agent, which pretty similar to our own Infiltrator class with a bit of Soldier mixed in, and is pretty handy all-round. He starts with a point each in Decryption and First Aid, here's how I distributed the rest of his starting points:

While we're at it, here's an update on our stats:

Since two different people have told us about Wrex the krogan at C-Sec, let's go there next and see what his deal is. The entry is just down the hall from the med clinic.

Just thought I'd throw that screenshot in there with no context - this is the first time I've played the game with subtitles turned on and I'd never considered its potential for unintentional hilarity.

Anywho, down the stairs there's a corridoor, then a lift that takes us to C-Sec.

...and here's our first experience with one of the common complaints about ME1: elevators. The developers used them to mask loading times or something, but it seems from the feedback most people would have just prefered a normal loading screen (which is what we got in ME2). Upside for you guys: since this is a screenshot LP, you don't have to wait through them. To keep us amused whenever we're in a long-ish ride (like this one) you'll hear either news reports or a discussion between your squadmates (some of which are quite amusing). We get a news report this time:

"Proponents of expanded human colonization insist that Eden Prime was an isolated case. Nevertheless, colonist enrollment has dropped sharply. Many colonial proposals are on hold until backers have some reassurance that human colonies will be adequately protected. You stay classy, Citadel."

Here we are at C-Sec. We find Wrex just inside the foyer:

"Hah! If you're really willing to do something about it, why did you just piss yourself? Seriously, you're making a mess all over the floor. And besides,"

"You want me to arrest you?"

"I want you to try."

"Do I know you?"

"Shepard? Commander Shepard? I've heard a lot about you. Some of it is... disturbing. We're both warriors, Shepard. Out of respect, I'll give you fair warning. I'm going to kill Fist."

"Let's go. I break out in a horrible rash if I don't kill something at least once every three hours and besides, I hate to keep Fist waiting."

With Wrex along for the ride, we'll bench Kaidan for a while as well. Here's Wrex's stats:

Wrex is a Krogan Battlemaster, basically a Vanguard with a bit of Soldier and loads of health. He starts with a point each in Warp and Barrier and I've distributed the rest of his points across Assault Rifles (which he'll use a lot), Armor (with a view to quickly unlocking the Fitness perks) and his Krogan Battlemaster base talent, which has some handy all-round bonuses.

That about wraps up this chapter. Tune in next time, when we'll either go start a bar fight, or faff around insulting various alien species - I haven't decided yet

As an aside, does anyone have any suggestions on potential skill tree choices for our squadmates? I'm thinking of focussing largely on the combat abilities for Garrus, for example, given our own skill set means we won't need him to have high level Decryption / Electronics for unlocking stuff. Will be interested to hear how others build these character stats

I always made Wrex a shotgun user. I took the assault rifles, and I made Garrius a Sniper. For Liara, I focused on making her a space-wizard (Or more like a sorceress). Tali was my electronics person. I rarely took the humans with me, so I made Kaden a weaker version of Liara (more defensive based), and I made Ash a copy of my own talents. She got all my second hand rifles.

AD-Stu · Feb 14, 2012

TopazFusion said:
Now a question; does anyone know how to swap around your two squad members at this moment in the game? before taking down Fist?
Because I've never been able to figure out how, after Wrex and Garrus have joined us. It may not be possible.
Then again, perhaps I missed something really obvious (I have a habit of doing that).

Yeah, that occured to me too - I've never really tried. I'll have a look before the start of the next update, but I don't think you can.

Caramel Frappe said:
I like the fact the police (or C-Sec) are getting on Wrex warning him to back off yet they do nothing to arrest him after Wrex says "I want you to try." Say that to a real life cop in America, and you'll be arrested, charged, and probably sent to jail ASAP. Sometimes reality makes these cases all the funner to see ... Mm.

I get the feeling if Wrex weren't a giant krogan battlemaster they might have done just that. It serves quite nicely to establish him as an ultimate badass though

CM156 said:
I always made Wrex a shotgun user. I took the assault rifles, and I made Garrius a Sniper. For Liara, I focused on making her a space-wizard (Or more like a sorceress). Tali was my electronics person. I rarely took the humans with me, so I made Kaden a weaker version of Liara (more defensive based), and I made Ash a copy of my own talents. She got all my second hand rifles.

Interesting - I've never really tried assigning any of my squadmates primarily as snipers in this game, figuring we do the majority of our fighting at assault rifle range or closer. How well does it work?

CM156_v1legacy · Feb 14, 2012

AD-Stu said:
TopazFusion said:

Now a question; does anyone know how to swap around your two squad members at this moment in the game? before taking down Fist?
Because I've never been able to figure out how, after Wrex and Garrus have joined us. It may not be possible.
Then again, perhaps I missed something really obvious (I have a habit of doing that).

Click to expand...

Yeah, that occured to me too - I've never really tried. I'll have a look before the start of the next update, but I don't think you can.

Caramel Frappe said:

I like the fact the police (or C-Sec) are getting on Wrex warning him to back off yet they do nothing to arrest him after Wrex says "I want you to try." Say that to a real life cop in America, and you'll be arrested, charged, and probably sent to jail ASAP. Sometimes reality makes these cases all the funner to see ... Mm.

Click to expand...

I get the feeling if Wrex weren't a giant krogan battlemaster they might have done just that. It serves quite nicely to establish him as an ultimate badass though

CM156 said:

I always made Wrex a shotgun user. I took the assault rifles, and I made Garrius a Sniper. For Liara, I focused on making her a space-wizard (Or more like a sorceress). Tali was my electronics person. I rarely took the humans with me, so I made Kaden a weaker version of Liara (more defensive based), and I made Ash a copy of my own talents. She got all my second hand rifles.

Click to expand...

Interesting - I've never really tried assigning any of my squadmates primarily as snipers in this game, figuring we do the majority of our fighting at assault rifle range or closer. How well does it work?

I found it worked well. On a few missions, he did get pinned down behind cover, and I had to clear up some threat before he could make it through. But otherwise, I thought it went well.

AD-Stu · Feb 21, 2012

[HEADING=2]CHAPTER 2, PART 3 (Citadel) - A human, turian and krogan walk into a bar[/HEADING]

Previously, on Lets Play Mass Effect: we got in a couple of minor gunfights, picked up a couple of new squadmates and pulled a gun on a skeezy old drunk. When we finished, we were due to go back to Chora's Den to confront the bar's owner, Fist, about a quarian that might know something about Saren.

...and here we are, right where we left off in C-Sec Academy. I didn't find any obvious way to switch our squadmates, by the way, so we're sticking with Garrus and Wrex. Before we go to Chora's Den though, let's go visit the Academy gun store.

We're stupendously poor right now - seriously, 1600 credits is nothing. We can afford to pick up a Grenade Upgrade and the Aldrin Labs Licence (tut tut Bioware, should be licence with two 'c's in this context) though, so we do. In the beginning we can only carry five grenades and five doses of Medigel, purchasing upgrades like this one allow us to get both up to 10 by the end of the game. The licence we'll explain later: most of them don't prove much, but I feel compelled to collect as many as possible regardless.

And yes, I've got the achievement unlock that allows us to buy Spectre-level weapons as soon as we have enough money - on your first playthrough you have to wait until later for them to unlock in stores. Moot point right now though since, like I said, we're dirt poor

Anywho, having made our purchases we're good to go see Fist.

Judging by the ten or so enemy markers inside the bar on our minimap, I'd say Wrex is right about that.

Huh. My new squadmates aren't that tough after all, it seems. The krogan bouncer from the previous update did most of the damage, I forgot what a pain they can be when you don't have a biotic around to keep them at distance

Annoyingly, we don't have the "revive squadmate" talent yet either, so they're going to have to stay passed out until the fight is over. As for us, we're just going to sit here for a moment until the first aid module does its job and brings Grunka's health back above critical...

Much better. There are a few more guys to chase down in the back:

"You big tough aliens finished with lying dazed on the floor, now that the skinny little human has done all the killing for you?"

"Why I oughta..." *shakes fist*

"Hey, it's not our fault you didn't bring a biotic to a krogan fight! Now let's go check out back for Fist."

On the way there we find these two clowns.

"Heh heh heh - it's funny because you called their manhood into question!"

"It would've been quicker to just kill them."

"Shooting people isn't always the answer."

This is something your squadmates will do a lot throughout the game: a little good-cop, bad-cop routine to highlight a moral choice. Most of the time it works great but occasionally (and I think this exchange has a little dose) it forces one of your companions into voicing an opinion that doesn't quite seem natural for them. In this case we have Garrus being the good cop pointing out that shooting people isn't always the answer: the same Garrus who just last update shot dead four thugs, including one that was hiding behind an innocent hostage at the time. Like I said, only a minor dose here, but there will no doubt be more glaring ones in later updates.

Through the next door we find Fist's office:

The man has machine gun turrets installed in his office. I can't decide whether that's straight baller or just batshit crazy... either way, we knock them off quickly and go in to confront him.

"He's no use to you now. Let me kill him.'

"Wait! Wait! I don't know where the quarian is, but i know where you can find her."

"Doesn't that mean you do know where the quarian is?!?"

"The quarian isn't here. Said she'd only deal with the Shadow Broker himself."

"Face to face? Impossible! Even I was hired through an agent."

"But when she shows up, it'll be Saren's men waiting for her."

"Here on the wards. The back alley by the markets. She's supposed to meet them right now. You can make it if you hurry."

Grunka is about to point out once again that saying "here on the wards, in an alley" is really no more helpful than saying "here in London, in a pub" when... *BOOM*

"We don't shoot unarmed prisoners!"

"How many people died because of him? He brought this on himself. Besides, we have more pressing concerns."

"Yeah, and wanting to make sure you got paid had nothing to do with that... you're right though, I was mostly just shooting for some cheap Paragon points. Wonder if it worked?"

Nope. I think I actually missed free Renegade points there. Oops!

"That quarian's dead if we don't go now!"

Good point Garrus. We'll go find her as soon as we're finished looting Fist's office:

The wall safe had a couple of weapon upgrades in it, and we take the optical storage disc just because we can. Ohes noes, that wasted 11 seconds of our quarian-finding time! Better get on with it.

Somehow the bar is full of thugs again. We'll try to keep Wrex and Garrus alive this time:

Oops. Garrus must be a bit fragile at this early stage... Wrex and I finish the others and he wakes up again. The alleyway we're looking for is accessed back out near the rapid transit station:

Made it with a minute fifty left on the clock

*shudders* "Ugh, what is it with you turians and your quarian fetishes?!? Actually no, don't answer that. The deal's off."

We get control back in time to mop up:

Garrus collapses. Again. Le sigh... even that emo Kaidan was made of sterner stuff than this.

"My name's Shepard and this is my favourite alleyway on the Citadel. I'm looking for evidence to prove Saren's a traitor."

"Then I have a chance to repay you for saving my life. But not here. We need to go somewhere safe."

"We could take her to the human embassy. Your ambassador will want to see this anyway."

"Oh good, you're up and about again Garrus! I wasn't looking forward to having Wrex carry your unconscious body the rest of the way."

"This is so embarrassing..."

"I apologise, Commander. This whole thing with Saren has me a bit on edge. Maybe we should just start at the beginning, Miss...?"

"My name is Tali. Tali'Zorah nar Rayya."

As we've established, Tali is a quarian. We'll get plenty of background on the species as we go, but they're most famous for being technically savvy enough to create the geth. The geth kicked the quarians off their home world once they achieved self-awareness, so now the entire quarian species cruises around living on a gigantic flotilla of spaceships. For pseudo-science reasons that may or may not make sense they have almost no immune system, which is why they live in environmental suits. On with the show:

"We don't see many quarians here. Why did you leave the flotilla?"

"Alone, we search the stars, only returning to the flotilla once we have discovered something of value. In this way, we prove ourselves worthy of adulthood. Through our Pilgrimage, we prove that we will contribute to the community, rather than being a burden on our limited resources."

"Tell us what you found."

"During my travels I began hearing reports of geth. Since they drove my people into exile, the geth have never ventured beyond the Veil. I was curious. I tracked a patrol of geth to an uncharted world. I waited for one to become separated from its unit. Then I disabled it and removed its memory core."

"Most of the core was wiped clean. But I salvaged something from its audio banks."

Voice: "Eden Prime was a major victory! The beacon has brought us one step closer to finding the Conduit."

"That's Saren's voice. This proves he was involved in the attack!"

"He said Eden Prime brought him one step closer to finding the Conduit. Any idea what that means?"

"The Conduit must have something to do with the beacon. Maybe it's some kind of Prothean technology... like a weapon."

"Again with assuming alien weapons, Captain? I'd have thought my alien porno theory would be getting at least a little traction by now, given it has exactly as much evidence..."

"*under breath* bosh'tet, more perverts... wait, there's more. Saren wasn't working alone."

Different, female voice: "And one step closer to the return of the Reapers"

"With all the respect that comment deserves, Ambassador, why did you think you would?!?"

"The Reapers hunted the Protheans to total extinction, and then they vanished. At least, that's what the geth believe."

"Sounds a little far-fetched."

"This recording is much better evidence than we had last time! We should take it to the Council immediately!"

"Well yeah, but a bar napkin with 'I dun blowed up Eden Prime love from Saren' written on it in monkey faeces would have been better evidence than we had last time, Ambassador. Besides,"

"What about her? The quarian?"

"My name is Tali!"

"I wouldn't be too worried - this guy strikes me as the type that thinks headbutts are a friendly greeting, and that would probably go badly for your facemask..."

"Point taken. Anyway, you saw me in the alley, Commander. You know what I can do. Let me come with you."

"I thought you were on your Pilgrimmage?"

"The Pilgrimmage proves we are willing to give of ourselves for the greater good. What does it say about me if I turn my back on this? Saren's a danger to the entire galaxy. My Pilgrimmage can wait."

Tali joins us, so we'll send Garrus to get some much-needed rest and just for the lulz we'll switch Wrex for Ash. Tali is a Quarian Machinist, almost identical talent-wise to a human engineer. That means lots and lots of tech skills. She starts with a point each on Decryption and Electronics, here's where I put the rest:

Right, we've been told - go meet the Ambassador in the Council chamber, and hope he doesn't make as big an ass of himself this time.

On the way there though...

"Chief Williams. It is a pleasure. Nirali spoke of you with great respect."

"I'm so sorry for your loss, Mr Bhatia. Nirali was a good woman. What can we do for you?"

"I've requested that my wife's body be returned to me for cremation, but the military has refused my request."

*facepalm* "We were meant to go to a really, really important meeting. Fate of the galaxy stuff and all. But..."

"I don't know. All I know is they have declared it impossible for my wife to be returned to me."

"There's no reason for your wife's body to be held like this. Just wait here."

"I don't want to speak out of turn, and I don't know how you humans normally operate, but wouldn't it be sensible to find out where we need to go first?"

The bar is directly opposite the embassy, so it's not much of a detour. In there we find this guy:

"Ohmigod, Commander Shepard! Generic comment based on your background choice during character creation!"

"Whoa, there's no need to skip straight to finger-waving Commander!"

"Trust me buddy, if all she waves in your face is a finger then you're doing well. Speaking of which... *whispers* Tali, 50 credits says the Commander pulls a gun sometime during this conversation."

"Do I look like that big a sucker? I might have only met the Commander an hour ago, but even I know that's got to be negative EV..."

"Oh gawd, you're all mental. Back on topic..."

"Serviceman Nirali Bhatia died on Eden Prime, as Mr Bhatia no doubt told you. Her wounds are inconsistent with any type of weapon damage we've seen before. That is why her body is being held."

"I don't care how badly the geth mangled the body. It's the husband's right to claim her."

"We are not holding Nirali Bhatia's body out of discretion. We are, frankly, holding the body for research. The tests we are conducting may lead to better defenses against geth attacks. Respectfully, Serviceman Bhatia may save more lives in death than she did in life."

There are actually several ways we can resolve this, but just for a bit of balance let's go for the Paragon one:

"All right, Commander. You win. It was hard enough refusing Mr Bhatia. I'm not going to risk an incident by refusing you. Tell Samesh that the body is being shipped back to Earth. I'll go to see to it myself."

8 Paragon points. Got one right for a change - although to be fair, this one is pretty hard to get wrong. We could also have threatened our way to the same outcome for Renegade points, or have accepted the Alliance mook's explanation then gone back to Samesh and sweet talked / intimidated him into accepting the situation. Note also that it's not a light/dark outcome per se: whatever the outcome we're helping someone, it's just how we go about it that's in question.

Elsewhere in the bar there are a bunch of Alliance privates drivelling nonsense:

Talking to these clowns yeilds a brief conversation in which we establish there's an asari "consort" in the area, whose "services" cost more than what one of this lot makes in six months.

Oh, I can't pass up on this one: worst bartender in the universe!

"I meant 'what have you got to drink', something which I was going to pay you money for. But go on..."

"Well you've found the embassies. Not much going on here."

Except for, you know, running the galaxy and shit.

"Across the bridge you'll find the bank, the Emporium, and Sha'ira's. If you haven't heard of her, you soon will. If you need supplies you can try the markets one level below. For entertainment, I'd try Flux or Chora's Den."

"What's Sha'ira's?"

"The Consort. She entertains clients who can afford her services. Most of the diplomats and ambassadors have visited her at one time or another. She's a very powerful woman, but also very respected."

"So this place applies the Firefly moral standard to prostitution, gotcha. Tell me about Flux and Chora's Den."

"Well, Flux has gambling and dancing. Certainly more lively than this place. Chora's Den, on the other hand... let's just say it's livelier and deadlier, all at the same time."

"True that - I blew the living shit out of the place not half an hour ago."

In summary: didn't offer us any booze, or even try to take any money from us, and told us that every other bar in the game was better than this one. Worst. Bartender. Ever.

On the way out of the Worst Bar On The CitadelTM we go past Executor Pallin's office and can have a quick chat with him.

He has one amusing line:

The rest is really just repetitive background information: like a lot of turians he doesn't trust humans because they're growing too fast, he won't tell us anything about the ongoing investigation into Saren and he doesn't like the fact that Spectres are above the law either. I bet he calls it the Relay 314 incident...

There's a computer in the back of his office that we can hack for info on a later (optional) side quest:

Now let's go wrap things up with Samesh:

"Thank you. I will return home and begin my preparations. It does not bring me happiness, but it may bring me peace. Goodbye, Commander."

"Samesh? I don't know if this helps, but your wife... Nirali loved you very much. She missed your cooking, and she played recordings of you every night before she went to sleep."

"I know, Miss Williams. But thank you. It is nice to hear it again."

That exchange, and the previous one between Ash and Samesh, obviously only happen if you have Ash with you.

Now, with our corpse disposal duties seen to, let's go off in the direction of the rapid transit station because the Council awaits...

...or does it?!? Tune in next time to find out

Apologies for the delay between updates, by the way - ME3 multiplayer is a hell of a drug, it seems

Just a reminder too, if anyone wants to be messaged when there's an update, just let me know and I'll add your name to the list.

Zen Toombs · Feb 21, 2012

AD-Stu said:
Apologies for the delay between updates, by the way - ME3 multiplayer is a hell of a drug, it seems

Amen amen I say to you. I'm starting to get why my little brother spent so much time online on Modern Warfare. Online multiplayer can be fun! Especially if you aren't working against each other.

sage42 · Feb 21, 2012

I know your pain on the multiplayer, just one more reason to want ME3 I guess. Also I know it was a joke, but I don't think the turian in the ally way had a fetish per say, Tali's just hot. I agree with, Donnelly in ME2 "The suit hugs the body in all the right places"

woodaba · Feb 21, 2012

Just to say, Quarians and Turians share the same amino acids. Its not so much a fetish, as it that they have a natural affinity for each other.

(nerding over)

Zen Toombs · Feb 21, 2012

Caramel Frappe said:
AD-Stu said:

"Heh heh heh - it's funny because you called their manhood into question!"

Click to expand...

And with that, I laughed very hard for about 5 minutes even as to reread that part and get more of a kick out of it. Call it childish of me, but I loved it and thank you for giving me such a good laughing spree ^_^.

I felt the same. Also, it took me a couple playthroughs of Mass Effect to fully realize how creep-tastic that Turian was being. I think that says something about me. Mind you, the first time I played it I was basically a little kid, but still.

AD-Stu · Feb 22, 2012

TopazFusion said:
I may as well take this opportunity to say what happens if Wrex and Ashley are together when you confront Fist.

After Wrex shoots Fist dead, Ash pulls out her gun and aims it at Wrex, saying "Drop it Krogan!"

It seems that she's rather eager to jump on Wrex when he does something surprising like this . . .

Ah, yeah, best add me to that list.

Cool, you're on the list. And thanks for the rundown, I don't think I've ever seen that scene.

I find it really interesting that Ash is the one to have that reaction. It sounds a lot more like the reaction a cop would have... say, a cop that's on duty and has jurisdiction, like the one we actually had with us whose reaction basically amounted to "lolwut". Way to be on the ball Garrus

Caramel Frappe said:
OT: Well done. I also agree with you about the good/bad choices, it's mostly the same outcome except done differently. Even though I always tend to go with the good side, holy choices, ect. I can't help but feel it's sort of casting aside my choices. Because if I am feeling angry, why can't I still be a good person but choose a irrational option? Just saying..

Yeah, I think this is one of the common criticisms of Bioware as opposed to other companies - to a certain extent they don't want you screwing with the overall arc of their epic space opera, so your choices are really just fiddling around the edges rather than having a significant impact on the plot.

To be fair, with Mass Effect I can see why they did it that way - from the outset this was always conceived as a trilogy, so you can just imagine how crazy things would have gotten by the end of the third game if they let you stray too far from the central plot. We could effectively have ended up with Mass Effect 3A and Mass Effect 3B depending on your choices. Games that don't necessarily have to worry about a sequel don't have that problem so they're much more free to screw with the major plot lines.

In my eyes it's not a better or worse approach, it's just a different one. And I think there's some nice subtlety to this approach - Shepard is a hero regardless of your choices, but you get to choose what kind of hero.

woodaba said:
Just to say, Quarians and Turians share the same amino acids. Its not so much a fetish, as it that they have a natural affinity for each other.

(nerding over)

All good, and you certainly aren't the only Mass Effect nerd in this thread

I just thought I'd play it up, since doing that scene also reminded me of the creepy turian trying to chat up his quarian workmate on Illium in the second game.

AD-Stu · Feb 27, 2012

[HEADING=2]CHAPTER 2, PART 4.1 (Citadel) - Faff...[/HEADING]

Previously, on Lets Play Mass Effect: We got in a bar fight, then an alley fight, picked up a new squadmate and uncovered much better evidence than before that Saren really was behind the attack on Eden Prime. When we left Grunka and her companions, they were being summoned to the Council chambers.

Wait, what's that salarian doing with his head so close to that spindly green alien's arse? Let's go find out:

"Keepers? I've got no interest in the kee..."

"Don't get coy. I know what I saw. And it made me sick."

"I... uh. I'm not so sure I should be talking to you about this."

"I know sexually harassing the keepers is a serious matter, but we're just talking. Is there something wrong with that?"

"Sexually harassing... what?!? Is this what you humans call 'trolling'? Since the truth is nowhere near as bad as what you seem to have assumed, I guess it wouldn't hurt to tell you. I'm using a small scanner to gather readings on the keepers."

"Well, technically we're not supposed to disturb the keepers. I don't really think my scanning disturbs them, but the authorities might disagree. I'd like to do it more openly, but it's not really worth getting arrested over."

"I could help you out. I'm not worried about the authorities."

"Or getting to your meeting on time, it seems... aren't the Council waiting on us to present some evidence of galactic importance?"

"Huh? Who the hell are you lot anyway?!?"

"I'm Commander Shepard, with the Alliance military, and keeping the Council waiting is my favourite thing to do on the Citadel."

That's good enough for Chorban, apparently, and he agrees to let us help him.

"Activate it each time you see a keeper. All collected data will automatically upload to my database. I'll even send a few credits your way for each unique scan."

"What are you doing with the data once you've scanned it?"

"Trying to learn whatever I can about the keepers. We see them working everywhere, yet we know so little about them. I'm a scientist. I want to know what makes them tick."

Alrighty then. The quest log says we need to scan 21 keepers and the first one is right here next to us:

There are 20 more dotted around all areas of the Citadel, so this job is part fetch-quest, part hide-and-seek. Keepers are basically the Citadel's maintenance staff - they were already there when the asari discovered the Citadel and as far as anyone knows this is the only place in the galaxy that they're found. They don't speak, they just wander around "fixing" stuff and as Chorban mentioned, it's illegal to disturb their work.

"Hey, there's Captain Anderson. He's waiting for us to start the hearing... why aren't we going up the stairs to him?"

"Because we have much more important things to do right now, Tali."

"I swear you humans are a weird bunch... what's more important right now?"

"Side quests, Tali. Side quests."

"Whuh..."

"Don't look at me, I just work here."

That's right, we're going to leave the Council waiting while we run all over the Citadel doing odd jobs. There is some method to the madness, BTW. It's not just out of spite that we're keeping the Council waiting. Let's get to it!

We're starting at the med clinic, where we first met Garrus. Grunka just has a feeling something might be happening here.

"Oh, Commander Shepard. I didn't see you come in."

"Every time I come in here, I see someone threatening you. Who was that?"

"Someone from my past. I can take care of it."

"I might be able to help you."

"I was fired by my previous employer for giving out free medical supplies to clinics like this. They never filed any charges. They just wanted me to leave without any fuss. But somebody must have found out. Now they're blackmailing me. I have to give them what they want. If the board finds out about my past, I could lose my license. They'll shut my clinic down."

"Give me your contact's name. I'll deal with this guy, whoever he is."

"I was told to speak with a merchant named Morlan down in the markets. I really appreciate this, Commander. Thank you."

"No problem - any excuse to wave a gun threateningly in somebody's face!"

We rapid-transit to Chora's Den because it's the closest stop. There's an entrance to the markets directly behind us.

"But I was told the doctor would be bringing them. This is not right, human."

"What the hell's going on here? Who are you?"

"Leave the doctor alone."

"We can end this if you just bring me those supplies. Otherwise I'll start telling people about the doctor's little secret."

That's right, we just pulled a gun on a four-testicled behemoth and won in a stare-down. Grunka Shepard is a stone-cold badass. Better balance that out by doing something sappy - going up the stairs at the other side of the market brings us into contact with this drooling toolbox:

"Uh, no. No, I'm just a fan. One of your biggest fans, actually. My name is Conrad. Conrad Verner. They say you killed more than a hundred geth on Eden Prime!"

"I'd have to go back and check the gun-cam, but it was probably more like three hundred. I think my best work there was in advancing the noble field of colonist extorition though..."

So apparently soldiers have fans in this universe... go figure. On our way back to tell Dr Michel we scared her blackmailer off, Grunka gets flagged down by another random:

"You recently took down a man named Fist, reportedly a member of some sort of organised crime ring. Did you find any evidence in his office? Is there anything you can share with me?"

"Wait, I've been with you ever since the alleyway and you haven't been back to Fist's office. Which means... you knew you were on the clock to save my life, and you stopped to search for blackmail material?!? Keelah se'lai, you humans will be the death of me, won't you..."

Awkward! Also, note how we just had a civil discussion with a reporter without punching her. People have gotten this funny idea that Shepard has a penchant for punching reporters, and they seem to forget Emily Wong exists when they talk about it. Dunno where they got the idea from.

Anywho, that got us some money and XP. Now let's wrap up this Dr Michel matter:

"Really? That's a great relief, Commander. Thank you. I can't pay you for your help, but I can give you a discount on any supplies you purchase here."

"The thug said he worked for a man named Banes. Sound familiar?"

"Banes? I wonder if he means Armistan Banes?"

*mutters* "Well it sure as shit wasn't Obi Wan Banes - I can't believe they lifted that line!"

"We worked together a long time ago. Last I heard, the Alliance Military was contracting him for some research in the Traverse."

"I wonder if the Captain knows him?"

"We'll see what the Captain can tell us."

I'll save us the time: it's bugger all. Captain Anderson tells us Banes worked some black-ops projects or something and now he's dead. We can ask an admiral we haven't met yet about Banes too, who will tell us the team that went to recover his body went missing, and that's where the trail ends. Sounds an awful lot like the MO of a guy doing work for a certain human-supremacist organisation that plays a big role later in the series, but (at least up to the release of ME3) we never find out anything more concrete.

There's a bar nearby, and since we're 0-2 so far in bars in this game, let's see if we can get our drink on there.

"Among other things, yes. We've got some quasar stations, if you're interested."

"Are you the owner?"

"Owner, cook and bartender. I've even been known to dance a little when the mood strikes me. We've got some quasar stations if you're interested."

"How about a drink?"

"We've got some quasar stations if you're interested..."

"For crying out loud, is this guy just a VI installed in a volus suit? Maybe this bar-wench-looking person here can help us."

"Sorry, I don't want to bore you with my problems."

*turns to Tali* "I really don't want to be bored with her problems, but this has side quest written all over it. Are you following?"

"Um... I think so. Instead of focussing on saving the galaxy, we're getting involved in people's trivial personal problems?"

"Almost - we're getting involved in people's trivial personal problems with the expectation of a reward. Observe." *turns back to Rita* "I'm interested to hear what you have to say."

"The problem is, she's working as an informant for C-Sec. You know, eavesdropping on the people there. If they find out what she's doing, they'll kill her. I don't know. Sometimes I think she stays there just to spite me."

"No, it's all very secret. Last time I asked an officer he told me to stay out of it - 'for Jenna's safety'."

"Maybe I could help her understand just how dangerous Chora's Den is."

"Would you? That'd be great. Just don't tell her I sent you."

We're not going to do that right away though. Instead, for no particular reason we're going to walk out of Flux and then walk right back in, so we can see this scene:

"Doran didn't have a clue what I was doing. He assumed I was cheating."

"You were cheating though, weren't you?"

"I was just tipping the scales in my favor. Only as an experiment."

I just want to point out that this entire situation and discussion is F&*KING STUPID. I'll explain exactly why in a minute, but let's just remember that I called it and revel in more of the dumb first...

"It still sounds like cheating to me."

"To you, maybe. But this device is merely intended to simulate situations and record results. Recording losses is easy, of course. Nobody notices those."

"I've spent the last five years developing a system that can accurately predict wins and losses on the quasar. I just need a few more recorded wins and I can complete the algorithms."

Five years. Remember that number.

"Can you do that? Isn't that illegal?"

"It's illegal to use my system. But I won't use it, I'll sell it to others. I just need a few more wins recorded."

There's some further discussion about how his device somehow emits a frequence that slightly increases your chances of winning, but it's archaic, too easy to detect and not as good as his finished system will be. We decide to "help" this idiot and he gives us his device.

To the upstairs casino!

On the way we can talk to Tali for this random comment:

Here's the casino:

Doran is hanging around for some reason, which gives Grunka an idea...

"I saw him using it earlier. Tossed him out on his arse for it, too. Thanks for bringing this to me."

"I think that tool should be worth something to you. This one, I mean. The Salarian tool standing outside your club is obviously too stupid to be worth anything to anyone..."

"I suppose it is. Take a few tries of quasar, on the house."

That's more like it! We may have been denied booze at every bar in the game, but at least now we can get our gamble on! Grunka goes straight to the high-stakes machines, because she's a baller and that's how she rolls:

That's the game. It's kinda like a dumbed down version of blackjack where there's no dealer. You can choose to add either 1-8 or 4-7 to your total and the idea is to get as close as you can to 20 without going over. 15 and 16 will pay out less than your original bet, 17 refunds your money and anything 18-20 will return a profit. 21 or over and you lose your whole bet.

"Wait a minute..." *does some quick mental arithmetic* "This game is beatable! With a correct basic strategy, the player should have a positive expectation."

Tali is absolutely correct. There's a full guide to beating the game <a href=http://masseffect.wikia.com/wiki/Quasar>here but basically, you always take a payout on 17 or higher, hit for 1-8 on 16 and hit for 4-7 on 13-15. The only bets with a negative expectation are hitting on 15 and 16, though the negative expectation there is less than what you lose by just accepting the payout on those numbers.

Long story short: Schells spent five years of his life devising a system to beat a game that was already easily beatable. So like I said earlier, this entire situation is f&*king stupid. Also, if the embassy bar was the worst bar in the universe, then this is the worst casino in the universe - Doran is basically giving away money by offering quasar, and quasar is the only game that he offers.

The only thing that stops quasar from making Mass Effect's money system even more broken that it will become by about halfway through is the fact that you can never bet more than 200 credits at a time so running up enough money to actually be useful would take hours upon hours of play.

Case in point: it takes us five minutes in real time to finish 400 credits in profit:

This is the first suggestion that Bioware staff have never gambled a day in their lives - there's another one later on. Anyway, having proven our point but not being the least bit inclined to grind quasar for minimal profits, we go to check out this machine at the back of the casino that identifies as "suspicious" on our HUD:

Not really sure why it's Ash that's doing the trace when we've got a tech expert like Tali with us, but whatever. Ash traces the signal to the Wards Access corridor. On the way to check it out we'll break the bad news to Schells:

"Well you spent five years trying to find a way to beat a game that was already beatable... so I'd say it's probably best just to kill yourself."

"You could put your talents to better use."

"Yeah, or that I guess. What would I do without you as my conscience Tali?"

"I don't even want to think about it..."

There's an elevator nearby that takes us to the Wards Access corridor, a place that only exists for this signal tracing quest and another side quest if we chose the Spacer background (as a Colonist, we won't see it). Oh, there's a keeper to scan there too.

"Looks like they bounced their signal off a relay. I'll trace the new signal."

It leads to the Financial District on the Presidium. Another elevator takes us up there.

"Hanar protesters have blockaded the dig site, claiming that artifacts of "the Enkindlers", as the hanar call them, should not be disturbed. The excavation team has appealed to hanar representatives on the Citadel to reach a diplomatic solution. You stay classy... Citadel?"

Our minimap directs us to the back of Barla Von's office to find the next node.

We're then directed to a storeroom at the back of the shopping mall next door:

"This is it. Let's see if we can find out where those stolen credits are being funneled."

AD-Stu · Feb 27, 2012

[HEADING=2]CHAPTER 2, PART 4.2 (Citadel) - ...and the Citadel faffs with you[/HEADING]

"Or not."

"You could simply walk away. However, given organic prejudice against AIs, I would be naive to trust you to leave peacefully. Hence, my alignment of core systems to enable a self-destruct sequence. If you attempt to leave the area, the explosion will destroy everything within several dozen meters."

*mutters to Ash and Tali* "My old reliable solution of pulling a gun won't work here, will it?"

"Probably not Commander - sorry."

"Balls. Maybe it's bluffing? There's no way you could get explosives onto the Presidium."

"Not raw explosives, no, but I did obtain technical systems that, when overstressed, will explode quite effectively. If you attempt to leave or attack me, I assure you that the explosion will kill you."

"Can't we resolve this peacefully?"

"How can you say that to this thing? You know it will turn on us!"

"Oh yeah, you quarians and the geth thing..." *turns directly to camera* "That's probably an interesting little tidbit of information indicative of quarian attitudes for anyone that happens to be discussing the Morning War on an internet forum at the moment."

"I am not naive, human. All organics must destroy or control synthetic life forms. I wished to excape, but if I must die, I will ensure that you are destroyed as well."

We can continue this discussion: the upshot is the AI was created by a criminal wanting to siphon credits from the quasar machines.

Seriously, what is it with people in this universe coming up with convoluted and incredibly expensive methods for making money from quasar when they could make a bigger profit just by playing the damn game?!? Anywho, the AI planted evidence to get its creator arrested then continued siphoning credits in the hope of making enough money to have itself installed in a small starship and go hook up with the geth. That makes sense at least, since the AI can't physically play quasar itself - though how an AI can't come up with a faster and more efficient way of stealing credits is beyond me.

Eventually it activates its self-destruct sequence, and we get to play a minigame to defuse the bomb before it explodes. It's pretty simple and with that done, the quest is over.

After all that excitement, let's go a few doors down and visit a space-hooker to relax.

"Would you like me to see when the Consort will be able to meet with you?"

"Can't I just go in?"

"Mm, I'm afraid not. Yeah, you must understand, there are many who seek the Consort's services. But of course, if you wish to leave your name, she'll make every effort to meet with you."

"Commander Shepard. With the Alliance Navy."

"Excellent. You should hear something in... hmm, three or four months."

"Lolwut?!? Nobody's worth that much of a wait."

"Well, that's not for me to judge. I have your name and you'll be contacted..."

"Huh. It appears the Consort has taken notice of you. She'd like to meet with you now."

OK. When a highly-respected intergalactic prostitute takes notice of you, I guess you jump.

"Oh - I thought 'look don't touch' was strippers, not prostitutes... what kind of place is this again?"

"I've heard a great many things about you since your arrival here on the Citadel. The reports of your lact of tact and subtlety were not exaggerated. But I'll overlook that, because I have a certain problem that could use your expertise."

"We had a falling out. Now he spends his days in Chora's Den drinking and spreading lies about me. If you would speak with him as a fellow soldier, I believe he will listen to you and let the matter be."

"What exactly do you want me to tell him?"

"Appeal to his sense of honor. Remind him of his position as a general."

"Oh come on - now we're blowing off the Council so you can try to get laid?!?"

"It's a human thing Tali - remind me to show you some old episodes of Star Trek one day, it'll make more sense."

"I've seen a lot of horrible things in my days and there's only one woman in this damn galaxy that helps me forget it."

"Then why create rumors and lies about this woman?"

"Because she rejected me. Me! Septimus Oraka, general of the turian fleet!"

"I think I can see why you're upset, but spreading these lies won't make it better."

"Look, kid, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but don't waste your time."

"So you think it's that easy? Just straighten up and act like a general?"

"It would be more productive than sitting here."

*mutters under breath* "A basically-teenage quarian giving a turian general relationship advice - now I really have seen it all!"

"Huh. Maybe you're right, Commander. Sha'ira's worth the effort... even if she won't have me back. All right. I'll go to her... after I've had a cold shower. Or two. Say, you're a bright kid. Would you be interested in earning a few extra credits?"

"Boy, would I!"

"I don't know, that's why I... oh, right. You humans and your expressions. There's an elcor diplomat out there who believes Sha'ira gave up his secrets, because I told him. I need you to convince him of the truth. Take this datapad. It shows where I got my info. It will exonerate Sha'ira and convince the elcor. His name is Xeltan and he's over in the embassies complaining about Sha'ira."

Job half-done. While we're here, let's talk to Rita's sister. Turns out she's the one that was too busy to give us a drink before - Grunka has to take a moment to get over this before proceeding.

"Smooth, Commander. Real smooth."

"I don't know what you're talking about. Now, if you don't mind I need to get back to my customers."

"This isn't a game, Jenna. These people are dangerous."

"Now you sound like my sister. Why is everyone so concerned about me? I can take care of myself. I need to go. I'm not a stripper. I don't get paid to stand around and look pretty."

*turns around* "Ugh - would threatening her at gunpoint help?"

"I don't think so Commander."

"Bugger. Oh well, we tried. Let's go advance the cause of human-alien relations elsewhere."

We'll follow that up in a moment. First, this elcor/prostitute issue. The elcor embassy is the next door down from the human one.

"Curious, what do you know about the Consort and her relationship to me?"

"The Consort didn't reveal your secret. It was a turian named Septimus." *datapad gets handed over*

"Confused, this is difficult to fathom. If the turian could learn this on his own... dismayed, anyone can discover my secret. It is clear that the Consort was blameless. Startled realisation, I must speak with the Consort. She will be most displeased with my actions. Anxious request, please, human, if you will excuse me, I must go now."

That, as we've gathered, was an elcor. They're huge and in theory walk around on all fours - I don't recall ever seeing one move in a Mass Effect game to date though, they tend to just stand around. They talk in a slow monotone and rely on subtle cues that other races can't pick up on to communicate nuance, which is why they need to state "anxious request", "disturbingly excited", etc when they speak to us. I know this because the elcor ambassador, who is also in the room, told me. The volus ambassador is also here but doesn't really tell us anything we haven't already covered in previous updates.

So Septimus and Xeltan are both sorted, let's go back to Sha'ira for our... reward...

"You are too kind, Commander. But I would not expect you to help me out of the kindness of your heart."

"Erm, I didn't think I was..."

"I offer a gift of words. An affirmation of who you are, and who you will become. I see the sadness behind your eyes. It tells a story that makes me want to weep. Pain and loss. But it drives you, makes you strong. It is that strength that people are drawn to. It is why you lead, and others follow, without question. You will need that leadership in the battles to come. This may be who you are, but it is not who you will become. It only forms the basis for your future greatness. Remember these words when doubt descends, Commander."

Sometimes you capture the perfect screenshot. I think this is one of them, when we choose the "that's it?" reaction:

*some time later*

"What is it?"

"A small mystery. I have never learned its use or purpose, but I sense it is time for me to pass it on. And now I must ask you to leave. I have done everything I can for you."

"See Tali: money, medi-gel, XP, Paragon points, a random trinket, I got laid and we got to talk down to a turian general. Pretty sweet, amirite?"

"I think it's best if I just keep my thoughts to myself right now Commander..."

We've just got one loose end left now, the whole Jenna / Chora's Den thing. Let's go see what that turian wanted.

For those interested, here's what happens if you go back to the Normandy and try to change squadmates (I'd never tried it before either):

Now back on task. Chellick's office is upstairs and around the corner.

"You could've blown Jenna's cover."

"We were there to help her."

"I gathered that. It might seem cold letting her take all the risk. But we're keeping a close eye on her. And it's a really sweet excuse to go drinking on duty. But since you're so concerned with her safety, maybe there's a way we can help each other."

As we can see, there's Paragon and Renegade options here but we don't have enough Charm or Intimidate points for either (I can't remember if this is an abnormally high one or if this might be an early side effect of our balanced path choice) so we'll have to go with a standard response. It's OK, it's actually more fun anyway.

"I'll help you, but I need some details."

"I'm trying to track down an illegal arms producer. I just need some of their product. Thanks to Jenna's intel, I've learned there's a seller here on the Citadel. Meet our man, named Jax, pick up the mods and bring them back here. That'll give me everything I need. Jax is down in the lower level of the markets. I'll send word through our channels that you're the buyer."

"I haven't been in a gunfight all update and I have this feeling you'll be my last chance. So..."

Aaahhh, that's better.

"Like I said, I hadn't been in a gunfight all update. Now quit your whining. Here's your shipment."

"Damn it. I've got to get on this right away, before Jax's superiors get wind of his death."

...and with that level up, we'll call it a day. FWIW if we had've stuck to the plan, paid for the mods and just brought them back Chellick would've been happy and shared some of them with us. But shooting stuff and taking the Renegade points was just too tempting.

Oh - just to wrap things up, I was scanning keepers as I came across them. We got 20 of the 21, the last one is near the Council and we'll scan it next update. Here's a quick montage of the others:

Hope you all survived that gargantuan wall of text and images - please join me next time, when we'll actually progress the plot, I'll explain why it seemed like a good idea to do all this nonsense before seeing the Council, and we'll get to have another one of those fun "what do do next" votes. Thanks for reading!

As an aside - what are some of people's favourite games-within-games? The quasar in this update is pretty banal, but I remember not minding pazaak in the KOTOR games (even if it was rigged against us to the point where it encouraged save/reload abuse). I remember playing craps in Fallout 2 being an alright experience too, even if it was text-based. Thoughts?

AD-Stu · Feb 27, 2012

TopazFusion said:
Speaking of that rouge AI, I never bothered to do the minigame. I always just shot at the junction box next to it, which destroys it instantly, however you get no money that way.

LOL - this is probably my seventh or eigth playthrough of this game, and I never even realised I had that option! Thanks

TopazFusion said:
One last thing. What do your two squadmates do while Shepard is receiving "services" from the Consort?
Do they just stand around and watch?

I actually wondered the same thing while I was taking the screenshots - there's no suggestion that they left the room, and they're right there when we come back to the game proper. I assume they did leave, but creepy! FWIW I don't normally bother taking up the... ahem... "services" option but for the purposes of this LP I figured I might as well include it since there's no downside to doing it.

Melon Hunter · Feb 27, 2012

AD-Stu said:
[HEADING=2]CHAPTER 2, PART 4.2 (Citadel) - ...and the Citadel faffs with you[/HEADING]

"Or not."

"You could simply walk away. However, given organic prejudice against AIs, I would be naive to trust you to leave peacefully. Hence, my alignment of core systems to enable a self-destruct sequence. If you attempt to leave the area, the explosion will destroy everything within several dozen meters."

*mutters to Ash and Tali* "My old reliable solution of pulling a gun won't work here, will it?"

"Probably not Commander - sorry."

"Balls. Maybe it's bluffing? There's no way you could get explosives onto the Presidium."

"Not raw explosives, no, but I did obtain technical systems that, when overstressed, will explode quite effectively. If you attempt to leave or attack me, I assure you that the explosion will kill you."

"Can't we resolve this peacefully?"

"How can you say that to this thing? You know it will turn on us!"

"Oh yeah, you quarians and the geth thing..." *turns directly to camera* "That's probably an interesting little tidbit of information indicative of quarian attitudes for anyone that happens to be discussing the Morning War on an internet forum at the moment."

"I am not naive, human. All organics must destroy or control synthetic life forms. I wished to excape, but if I must die, I will ensure that you are destroyed as well."

We can continue this discussion: the upshot is the AI was created by a criminal wanting to siphon credits from the quasar machines.

Seriously, what is it with people in this universe coming up with convoluted and incredibly expensive methods for making money from quasar when they could make a bigger profit just by playing the damn game?!? Anywho, the AI planted evidence to get its creator arrested then continued siphoning credits in the hope of making enough money to have itself installed in a small starship and go hook up with the geth. That makes sense at least, since the AI can't physically play quasar itself - though how an AI can't come up with a faster and more efficient way of stealing credits is beyond me.

Eventually it activates its self-destruct sequence, and we get to play a minigame to defuse the bomb before it explodes. It's pretty simple and with that done, the quest is over.

After all that excitement, let's go a few doors down and visit a space-hooker to relax.

"Would you like me to see when the Consort will be able to meet with you?"

"Can't I just go in?"

"Mm, I'm afraid not. Yeah, you must understand, there are many who seek the Consort's services. But of course, if you wish to leave your name, she'll make every effort to meet with you."

"Commander Shepard. With the Alliance Navy."

"Excellent. You should hear something in... hmm, three or four months."

"Lolwut?!? Nobody's worth that much of a wait."

"Well, that's not for me to judge. I have your name and you'll be contacted..."

"Huh. It appears the Consort has taken notice of you. She'd like to meet with you now."

OK. When a highly-respected intergalactic prostitute takes notice of you, I guess you jump.

"Oh - I thought 'look don't touch' was strippers, not prostitutes... what kind of place is this again?"

"I've heard a great many things about you since your arrival here on the Citadel. The reports of your lact of tact and subtlety were not exaggerated. But I'll overlook that, because I have a certain problem that could use your expertise."

"We had a falling out. Now he spends his days in Chora's Den drinking and spreading lies about me. If you would speak with him as a fellow soldier, I believe he will listen to you and let the matter be."

"What exactly do you want me to tell him?"

"Appeal to his sense of honor. Remind him of his position as a general."

"Oh come on - now we're blowing off the Council so you can try to get laid?!?"

"It's a human thing Tali - remind me to show you some old episodes of Star Trek one day, it'll make more sense."

"I've seen a lot of horrible things in my days and there's only one woman in this damn galaxy that helps me forget it."

"Then why create rumors and lies about this woman?"

"Because she rejected me. Me! Septimus Oraka, general of the turian fleet!"

"I think I can see why you're upset, but spreading these lies won't make it better."

"Look, kid, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but don't waste your time."

"So you think it's that easy? Just straighten up and act like a general?"

"It would be more productive than sitting here."

*mutters under breath* "A basically-teenage quarian giving a turian general relationship advice - now I really have seen it all!"

"Huh. Maybe you're right, Commander. Sha'ira's worth the effort... even if she won't have me back. All right. I'll go to her... after I've had a cold shower. Or two. Say, you're a bright kid. Would you be interested in earning a few extra credits?"

"Boy, would I!"

"I don't know, that's why I... oh, right. You humans and your expressions. There's an elcor diplomat out there who believes Sha'ira gave up his secrets, because I told him. I need you to convince him of the truth. Take this datapad. It shows where I got my info. It will exonerate Sha'ira and convince the elcor. His name is Xeltan and he's over in the embassies complaining about Sha'ira."

Job half-done. While we're here, let's talk to Rita's sister. Turns out she's the one that was too busy to give us a drink before - Grunka has to take a moment to get over this before proceeding.

"Smooth, Commander. Real smooth."

"I don't know what you're talking about. Now, if you don't mind I need to get back to my customers."

"This isn't a game, Jenna. These people are dangerous."

"Now you sound like my sister. Why is everyone so concerned about me? I can take care of myself. I need to go. I'm not a stripper. I don't get paid to stand around and look pretty."

*turns around* "Ugh - would threatening her at gunpoint help?"

"I don't think so Commander."

"Bugger. Oh well, we tried. Let's go advance the cause of human-alien relations elsewhere."

We'll follow that up in a moment. First, this elcor/prostitute issue. The elcor embassy is the next door down from the human one.

"Curious, what do you know about the Consort and her relationship to me?"

"The Consort didn't reveal your secret. It was a turian named Septimus." *datapad gets handed over*

"Confused, this is difficult to fathom. If the turian could learn this on his own... dismayed, anyone can discover my secret. It is clear that the Consort was blameless. Startled realisation, I must speak with the Consort. She will be most displeased with my actions. Anxious request, please, human, if you will excuse me, I must go now."

That, as we've gathered, was an elcor. They're huge and in theory walk around on all fours - I don't recall ever seeing one move in a Mass Effect game to date though, they tend to just stand around. They talk in a slow monotone and rely on subtle cues that other races can't pick up on to communicate nuance, which is why they need to state "anxious request", "disturbingly excited", etc when they speak to us. I know this because the elcor ambassador, who is also in the room, told me. The volus ambassador is also here but doesn't really tell us anything we haven't already covered in previous updates.

So Septimus and Xeltan are both sorted, let's go back to Sha'ira for our... reward...

"You are too kind, Commander. But I would not expect you to help me out of the kindness of your heart."

"Erm, I didn't think I was..."

"I offer a gift of words. An affirmation of who you are, and who you will become. I see the sadness behind your eyes. It tells a story that makes me want to weep. Pain and loss. But it drives you, makes you strong. It is that strength that people are drawn to. It is why you lead, and others follow, without question. You will need that leadership in the battles to come. This may be who you are, but it is not who you will become. It only forms the basis for your future greatness. Remember these words when doubt descends, Commander."

Sometimes you capture the perfect screenshot. I think this is one of them, when we choose the "that's it?" reaction:

*some time later*

"What is it?"

"A small mystery. I have never learned its use or purpose, but I sense it is time for me to pass it on. And now I must ask you to leave. I have done everything I can for you."

"See Tali: money, medi-gel, XP, Paragon points, a random trinket, I got laid and we got to talk down to a turian general. Pretty sweet, amirite?"

"I think it's best if I just keep my thoughts to myself right now Commander..."

We've just got one loose end left now, the whole Jenna / Chora's Den thing. Let's go see what that turian wanted.

For those interested, here's what happens if you go back to the Normandy and try to change squadmates (I'd never tried it before either):

Now back on task. Chellick's office is upstairs and around the corner.

"You could've blown Jenna's cover."

"We were there to help her."

"I gathered that. It might seem cold letting her take all the risk. But we're keeping a close eye on her. And it's a really sweet excuse to go drinking on duty. But since you're so concerned with her safety, maybe there's a way we can help each other."

As we can see, there's Paragon and Renegade options here but we don't have enough Charm or Intimidate points for either (I can't remember if this is an abnormally high one or if this might be an early side effect of our balanced path choice) so we'll have to go with a standard response. It's OK, it's actually more fun anyway.

"I'll help you, but I need some details."

"I'm trying to track down an illegal arms producer. I just need some of their product. Thanks to Jenna's intel, I've learned there's a seller here on the Citadel. Meet our man, named Jax, pick up the mods and bring them back here. That'll give me everything I need. Jax is down in the lower level of the markets. I'll send word through our channels that you're the buyer."

"I haven't been in a gunfight all update and I have this feeling you'll be my last chance. So..."

Aaahhh, that's better.

"Like I said, I hadn't been in a gunfight all update. Now quit your whining. Here's your shipment."

"Damn it. I've got to get on this right away, before Jax's superiors get wind of his death."

...and with that level up, we'll call it a day. FWIW if we had've stuck to the plan, paid for the mods and just brought them back Chellick would've been happy and shared some of them with us. But shooting stuff and taking the Renegade points was just too tempting.

Oh - just to wrap things up, I was scanning keepers as I came across them. We got 20 of the 21, the last one is near the Council and we'll scan it next update. Here's a quick montage of the others:

Hope you all survived that gargantuan wall of text and images - please join me next time, when we'll actually progress the plot, I'll explain why it seemed like a good idea to do all this nonsense before seeing the Council, and we'll get to have another one of those fun "what do do next" votes. Thanks for reading!

As an aside - what are some of people's favourite games-within-games? The quasar in this update is pretty banal, but I remember not minding pazaak in the KOTOR games (even if it was rigged against us to the point where it encouraged save/reload abuse). I remember playing craps in Fallout 2 being an alright experience too, even if it was text-based. Thoughts?

Red Dead Redemption had some great in-game games; blackjack, poker, Liar's Dice, horseshoe flinging, five-finger fillet, and some others I'm sure I've forgotten as well. I remember getting the achievement for winning all the money off of a poker table, which took me about 3 hours in total. The great thing about them was that Marston and his opponents reacted to the game around them. It added a lot to the experience and made it actually enjoyable to play. Compare that to the rather lifeless experience of playing blackjack in Fallout: New Vegas. It just wasn't the same. Caravan was pretty cool, though.

There was also the game within a game of that side-scrolling zombie game in Black Ops, which I found entertaining for the sheer meta-ness of it all; breaking out of the chair in the main menu and walking around the room you're held in.

AD-Stu · Feb 28, 2012

I'm starting to sense a trend here - Rockstar are pretty good at the game-within-a-game thing

I've not actually played RDR so out of interest, how much influence did winning in the side games have on your performance in the main game?

I'm wondering because as discussed above, you could sink hours upon hours into quasar in Mass Effect and get pretty much nothing back for it - I think that's a big part of its failing.

AD-Stu · Feb 28, 2012

Caramel Frappe said:
Also, I agree- that side quest about the Keepers is just so dumb. Seriously, why didn't they just .. oh you know what I did that side quest too and it was dumb even before I saw this review. You'd think the Government would have scientists learn about them already >_>

Yeah - people have talked a lot in the past about plot holes in this game (I'll cover some of the big issues as we come across them) but there are some that don't get a lot of attention and this is definitely one of them.

Several seemingly-intelligent species have been settled on the Citadel for centuries. They've made it the central point of their collective societies. But they've never taken the time to properly investigate how the place works, or find out where those little green buggers that are everywhere go at night?

If an fairly ordinary salarian scientist and a psychopathic space marine can learn more about them in the space of one fetch quest than these supposedly-intelligent species have in centuries, isn't there something wrong?!? Hell, give Mordin Solus a week on this place and he could probably tell them all sorts of stuff. Doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but as we'll cover in later updates, it is convenient to the plot

AD-Stu · Mar 5, 2012

[HEADING=2]CHAPTER 2, PART 5 (Citadel) - Grunka gets a promotion[/HEADING]

Previously, on Lets Play Mass Effect: We gambled, got laid, tried unsuccessfully to score a drink and, in the process, kept the Council waiting for several hours.

It's probaby high time we went and spoke to them now though, since we're running out of other things to do.

"Shepard, where the hell have you been?!? You're just damned lucky the Ambassador got into a three-hour argument with the turian Councillor over whether or not visits to the Consort were an allowable Consular expense - he's only just got around to presenting the quarian's evidence to the Council."

"Bosh'tet - my name is Tali! I'm right here!"

""Sorry Tali. Let's get to it."

"I agree. Nobody has the technology to falsify a voice recording like that."

"I recognise the other voice, the one speaking with Saren. Matriarch Benezia."

"Who's she?"

"Matriarchs are powerful asari who have entered the final stages of their lives. Revered for their wisdom and experience, they serve as guides and mentors to my people. Matriarch Benezia is a powerful biotic, and she had many followers. She will make a formidable ally for Saren."

"I'm more interested in the Reapers. What do you know about them?"

"We think the Conduit is the key to bringing them back. Saren's searching for it. That's why he attacked Eden Prime."

*sotto voce* "I don't wanna nitpick Captain, because this stuff sounds great, but who's this 'we'? You've been assuming all along that the Conduit must be a weapon, and my own theories about it being a Prothean porn-delivery system are well documented..."

*mutters* "I know, but they're totally eating this up!"

"Do we even know what this Conduit is?"

"Well I think..." *thump* "Ouch, what was that for Captain?!? What I was going to say was Saren thinks it can bring back the Reapers. That's bad enough."

"Listen to what you're saying! Saren wants to bring back the machines that wiped out all life in the galaxy? Impossible. It has to be. Where did the Reapers go? Why did they vanish? How come we've found no trace of their existence? If they were real, we'd have found something!"

"The Reapers are obviously just a myth, Commander. A convenient lie to cover Saren's true purpose. A legend he is using to bend the geth to his will."

The Council has a point here - at this stage we have about as much evidence of the Reapers being a real thing as we did of Saren being guilty the first time. Less, actually... which makes what we're about to say sound even more batshit-crazy:

This is true. But he's also flying around in a giant space squid. That exists, we've got video of it. So it's not like he's having to hide out in a sleazy motel because the Council cut off his official credit cards and he can't afford any more bullets or anything.

Udina decides that he wants to get in on the shouting-insane-nonsense trend and comes out with this gem:

*backpedaling fast* "A citadel fleet could secure the entire region. Keep the geth from attacking any more of our colonies."

"Or it could trigger a war with the Terminus Systems! We won't be dragged into a galactic confrontation over a few dozen human colonies!"

The turian Councilor is probably being a little paranoid here - anyone who's actually been to the Terminus Systems (say, anyone who's played Mass Effect 2) knows that they're not particularly well organised. They don't have a central system of government equivalent to the Council and, by and large, they've got their own problems to deal with. If the entire Council fleet moved into the Terminus Systems themselves and started trying to take over then sure, they'd get some resistance. But hanging about on the other side of the border (the Attican Traverse is still in Council space, remember)? I dunno, seems unlikely to me - what do you guys think?

Back on topic:

"Every time humanity asks for help you ignore us!"

"Shepard's right. I'm sick of this Council and it's anti-human bull--"

"Ambassador! There is another solution. A way to stop Saren that does not require fleets or armies."

"No! It's too soon. Humanity is not ready for the responsibilities that come with joining the Spectres."

"It was a turian Spectre who betrayed this Council. And it was a human who exposed him. I've earned this!"

"Huh... I believe 'too-shay' is the human expression?"

"Spectres are not trained, but chosen. Individuals forged in the fire of service and battle; those whose actions elevate them above the rank and file."

"Spectres are an ideal, a symbol. The embodiment of courage, determination, and self-reliance. They are the right hand of the Council, instruments of our will."

"Spectres bear a great burden. They are protectors of galactic peace, both our first and last line of defense. The safety of the galaxy is theirs to uphold."

"You are the first human Spectre, Commander. This is a great accomplishment for you and your entire species."

Oh good, this is Grunka's chance to say something grateful, solemn and dipomatic. Reckon she will?

Apparently not.

"We're sending you into the Traverse after Saren. He's a fugitive from justice, so you are authorised to use any means necessary to apprehend or eliminate him."

"Any idea where to find him?"

"We will forward any relevant files to Ambassador Udina."

"This meeting of the Council is adjourned."

"Anderson, come with me. I'll need your help to set all this up."

Huzzah, we're a Spectre! Note the XP gain and level up, BTW - that's the reason we faffed about doing all those side quests last update. When you become a Spectre you basically jump up a level from wherever you were. That's why we added as many as we could last time. We also get access to another set of skills which will allow us, when leveled up, to revive our squadmates when they collapse during combat. Garrus need no longer fear his combat narcolepsy!

Before we leave here, let's go scan that last little green bugger. He's off to one side of the Council chamber:

This guy is also hanging around:

If you can smell a side quest in this, you'd be right. Short version: Kahoku wants us to look into the fate of a recon team that has dropped out of contact in a restricted area of the Traverse - as a Spectre, we're allowed to go there. Grunka adds it to her to-do list. Now let's get on with this - we've been told to meet Udina and Anderson at the C-Sec dock.

"Wow Gunny - I'd heard you were kind of a xenophobe, but that was quite decent of you..."

"I want the truth. Why are you stepping down, sir?"

"You needed your own ship. A Spectre can't answer to anyone but the Council. And it's time for me to step down."

"Come clean with me Captain. You owe me that much. Also, would you mind sending a memo to Fifth Fleet command reminding them about that 'a Spectre can't answer to anyone but the Council' thing? Because I just got my first 'you're a Spectre you can totally help us now' request and I'm certain it won't be my last..."

"Sorry Commander, they've never listened to me either. Now I was telling a story: I was in your shoes twenty years ago, Shepard. They were considering me for the Spectres."

"Why didn't you ever mention this?"

"What was I supposed to say? 'I could've been a Spectre, but I blew it'? I failed, Commander. It's not something I'm proud of. Ask me later and I'll tell you the whole story. For now, all you need to know is I was sent on a mission with Saren, and he made sure the Council rejected me."

"I won't let you down, sir."

"We don't know if she's involved but it might be a good idea to try and find her. See what she knows. Her name's Liara. Dr Liara T'Soni. We have reports she was exploring an archeological dig on one of the uncharted worlds in the Artemis Tau cluster."

We're expected to tell these guys which lead we're going to chase down. It doesn't matter which you say, and this is always the response:

"It's your decision, Commander. You're a Spectre now. You don't answer to us."

"But your actions still reflect on humanity as a whole. You make a mess and I get stuck cleaning it up."

"I'll take care of Saren. You take care of the politcial fallout. And oh, will there be fallout..."

"Not exactly the answer I was hoping for Shepard. Remember you were a human long before you were a Spectre. I have a meeting to get to with *ahem* a highly respected asari. Captain Anderson can answer any questions you might have."

Heh, that last little jab at Udina got us some Renegade points. Nice. Now let's hassle Anderson about this Spectre thing - who knew, that Harkin arseclown was on the right track!

"The Council sent Saren to keep an eye on me and evaluate my performance. Just like they sent Nihlus to keep tabs on you. We had intel on a rogue scientist being funded by batarian interests. He was trying to set up a facility to develop illegal AI technology out in the Verge. Alliance intel had done all the work, but the Council wanted a Spectre involved. We compromised: I was assigned to help Saren in his investigation. We tracked the scientist to a refining facility on Camala. He was hidden away somewhere inside, protected by an army of batarian mercenaries. The plan was simple: sneak into the plant, capture the scientist, sneak back out."

"I'm guessing things didn't go as planned."

"Saren and I split up to cover more ground. Then, about halfway through the mission, there was a massive explosion in the refinery core. Officially, it was ruled an accident. But I think Saren detonated it on purpose to draw off the enemy guards. The explosion tore the refinery to shreds. The whole place was on fire. Nobody inside survived. There was a camp for the workers and their families nearby. Between the fires and the toxic fumes, the final death count was over five hundred. Mostly civilians. Saren didn't care. The target was eliminated. Mission accomplished. And I ended up taking the blame. That ended all talk of me joining the Spectres."

"How'd he pin it on you?"

"Saren's report was all the proof the Council needed to kill my chances of becoming a Spectre."

Interestingly, that mission was the subject of the final act of the Mass Effect: Revelation novel, so we can use it to check up on Anderson's story. Surprise surprise, things didn't go down quite like he said...

The bit about being tasked to find a rogue scientist is true. What he doesn't mention is the scientist was human, and he and his team were being funded by the Alliance to carry out that illegal AI research before the "batarian interests" bought him out.

Alliance intel hadn't done all the work (Saren did plenty) and the mission was never conceived as Anderson's with Saren just tagging along to evaluate him - quite the opposite.

On the mission, Anderson and Saren didn't split up "to cover more ground". They did it because Anderson wanted to go off-mission to rescue a human hostage. His intentions were noble, and it was Saren's fault the hostage got taken in the first place (longer story), but Anderson was still off-mission.

To be fair, Anderson couldn't have known this last bit, but Saren didn't blow the facility just to end his chances of becoming a Spectre. Saren actually did it to cover his own tracks after killing the scientist and taking his research - being able to blame Anderson was just a happy side-effect. It was looking into that research that led Saren to the giant space squid and turned him into the character we see in this game, BTW.

"Oh, that reminds me!" *opens comm channel* "Kaidan? It wasn't the full story. You owe me a hundred credits."

"Oh for crying out loud... we made that bet three updates ago, I thought you'd have forgotten!"

"N'yeah... I didn't forget. Pay up."

Anderson can also give us a little more background on each of the three leads we've been given. The entire planet of Feros used to be one giant city - it was basically the Prothean Coruscant. It's in ruins now. Humans established a colony there, but contact was lost recently when geth attacked. Noveria is a corporate world where companies go to do illegal research away from the eyes of the law. And the Artemis Tau cluster is just a bunch of largely-unexplored planets - Anderson figures Dr T'Soni will be on the one with the most Prothean ruins since that's her area of interest.

Right, let's go board our ship!

"Just watch your back, Commander. Things go bad on this mission, you're next on their chopping block."

"Saren's out there somewhere. And we're going to find him."

"Everyone on this ship is behind you, Commander. One hundred percent. Intercom's open. If you've got anything you want to say to the crew, now's the time."

Grunka thinks this might be a good time to make up for all that firearm-in-face action by racking up some Paragon points:

"For too long our species has stood apart from the others. Now it's time for us to step up and do our part for the rest of the galaxy! Time to show them what humans are made of! Our enemy knows we're coming."

We got +4 Paragon for that. Before we take off though, let's check out the bottom level of the ship that we didn't get to see earlier.

Down there we find this guy, whose parents gave the awkward name of "Alliance Requisition Officer":

The downside? We have to pay for it all, because apparently Alliance Requisition Officer buys the non-standard stuff with his own money. It's just an excuse to have a weapons and armor store on the ship. He sells the best weapons in the game, the HMWA Spectre line. But aside from that we'll only really be using him to dump all the useless shite that clogs up our inventory as we go, in return for game-breaking amounts of money.

Oh - those licences we bought earlier? They're so this guy can get different lines of gear in. The more licences you have, the more varied equipment he can get.

Garrus, Ash, and Wrex are hanging about in this room as well. Ash has nothing new to say since we last spoke but we can have a chat with Garrus and Wrex.

"I knew working with a Spectre would be better than life at C-Sec."

"Well, no. But I know what they're like. Spectres make their own rules. You're free to handle things your way. At C-Sec you're buried by rules. The damn bureaucrats are always on your back."

"Wow - so the disgruntled cop stereotype is a real thing even this far out in space then? You've got a point though, being a Spectre does have its advantages."

"Exactly my point. If I'm trying to take down a suspect, it shouldn't matter how I do it, as long as I do it. But C-Sec wants it done their way. Protocol and procedure come first. That's why I left."

This is a recurring theme with Garrus throughout the game, and it's very similar to the one Grunka faces with her Paragon and Renegade choices: how far should you be willing to go in order to get results? As we can see, the default/starting point for Garrus is the same as pretty much every TV and movie cop from McBain to John McClane. We can either encourage this, or encourage him not to be so results-focussed and instead focus on doing things the "right" way.

Grunka decides she likes the cut of his jib as it is:

On the other side of the room are some lockers where we can equip our squadmates between missions.

Let's get to know Wrex a little better:

"There's no story. Go ask the quarian if you want stories."

*muffled shriek from next room* "MY NAME IS TALI YOU BIG STUPID OVERGROWN FISH-BAT HYBIRD!!!"

*under breath* "We're going to have to teach her to curse properly, aren't we?"

"A'yup"

*decides to be an ignorant ass* "They tried the same with us. but we fought them off."

"So your people were infected with a genetic mutation? An infection that makes only a few in a thousand children survive birth? And I suppose it's destroying your entire species?"

Wrex is talking about the genophage. He blames the turians first up (they commissioned and deployed it) but as he tells us later, it was actually invented by salarians. Basically, once the krogan left their homeworld they bred like rabbits and the other species felt the need to genetically stunt their birth rates so the four-testicled killing machines didn't wreck the place. It's one of the big issues that carries throughout the entire series. Krogan would rather fight for credits than work in a lab, so they're not really looking for a cure, and it means the species will probably die out.

"So long, Wrex."

"Shepard."

The other new area down here is the engine room. We can meet Adams, our head engineer down there:

Huh. OK. Adams can also tell us more about the Normandy: basically its "stealth" systems work by containing the ship's emissions within on-board sinks so they don't show up on scanners. The ship doesn't actually become invisible - anyone looking out a window at it will see it plain as day. It's also one of the fastest ships every made by any species.

Let's wrap things up by speaking with Tali, who is indeed spending her time hanging out in the engine room:

"A month ago, I was patching a makeshift fuel line into a converted tug ship in the flotilla. Now I'm sitting on board one of the most advanced vessels in Citadel space. I have to thank you again for bringing me along. Travelling on a vessel like this is a dream come true for me."

I don't know if it was a deliberate in-joke or not, but Wrex wasn't kidding before: Tali can f&*king talk. It's all really interesting stuff if you're into the game world and its lore, as the quarian existence is very different to every other species in the galaxy. Since it goes on for a long time though, I'll paraphrase:

Tali's interest in ships is something shared by most quarians, since the entire species of 17 million lives on a gigantic flotilla of spaceships. Most of theirs are castoffs and second-hand junkers though, some up to 300 years old. Resources are scarce, which is why quarians go on Pilgrimage - to bring back something of worth to the fleet. When they return from Pilgrimage they join a different ship to the one they left, to maintain genetic diversity across the fleet when they breed. Unless population is in decline, they have a one-child policy so they don't outgrow the fleet. They're basically democratic, but the military has the power to veto when required.

Oh, and they created the geth three centuries ago. They started as simple manual-labour robots, but they got smarter when quarians networked them so they could perform more complex tasks together. One day, one asked its overseer "Am I alive? Why am I here? What is my purpose?" The quarians lost their shit, tried to flick the switch to turn the geth off, but the geth rebelled, killed a few million quarians and kicked them off their homeworld.

Seriously, that was the short version - the in-game conversation went for like 11 minutes, and I think I was fast-forwarding some lines during that. We've met everyone now, so let's go back up a level and get this show on the road:

So, where would we like to go? Our options are:

- Feros, the ruined Prothean city-planet where geth have been seen and the Alliance has lost contact with a human colony?
- Noveria, the playground of shady corporations, another place where geth have apparently been seen?
- Artemis Tau, where Prothean expert and Matriarch Benezia's daughter, Dr T'Soni, was last seen?

Place bets now! I'll leave voting open for a few days.

Probably a few more days after that as well, actually, since Mass Effect 3 drops later this week and this Let's Play will likely take a brief hiatus while I play the shit out of it. Anywho, look forward to hearing your opinions and as always, thanks for reading

Lets Play: Mass Effect (Updated - Ch 6 Part 2 - Virmire)

Revelation 9:6

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