He is mortally wounded by a sniper bullet, and his brain is removed and put in the body of another human. However, Brian realises that this new body has no toes.
Life of Brian
- Thread starter Cheesus333
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He fails miserably at killing himself though and is taken to hospital. Whilst at the hospital he is given prosthetic toes. This is the first good thing that has happened all day, so he goes to celebrate with ice-cream.
on which he chokes to death, and having renounced Buddhism, fails to coem back. His head is run over by a bus.
I will kill this bastard.
I will kill this bastard.
God, feeling a bit sorry for this unlucky man, brings Brian back to life. Brian vows never to eat ice-cream again.
Suddenly, God is distracted by a clown having an argument in a bank with a bare footed lawyer wearing only Speedos. The bus that hit Brian suddenly reverse, once again pulverizing his physical form. Brian awakes in hell, unable to return to the land of the living EVER A-FUCKING-GAIN.
Brian has an extra life that he recieved earlier and appears back in his house at the beginning of the day. Armed with the knowledge of what will happen he decides not to get cereal this time.
Instead, he decides to have lots of bacon. He opens the door, only to find himself still in hell. "Nooo. That coupon for the extra life must have expired. Fry my damn nipples!".
Unfortunatly, a nearby demon, hears this exclamation, and obliges.
Unfortunatly, a nearby demon, hears this exclamation, and obliges.
Your cheating at this game...
Brian's guardian angel, played by Bruce Willis, appears and fights the demon. Everyone watches the fight with awe. This gives Brian enough time to escape from hell. He climbs out of the ground and breathes the clean air.
Brian's guardian angel, played by Bruce Willis, appears and fights the demon. Everyone watches the fight with awe. This gives Brian enough time to escape from hell. He climbs out of the ground and breathes the clean air.
only to find himself in Purgatory, where there are absolutlely no exits, and no one and nothing has the power to let him out. The door to hell seals behind him, and he is definatly 100% trapped in purgatory forever and ever and ever. Even God doesn't bother, realising Brian is just one guy who a lot of bad shit has happened to. God is fed up with Brians shit. Screw Brian. Brian sits on the floor, and plays with a yo yo.
One day, when Brian is browsing the internet, he chances upon this thread. Finding that Jebussaves is the reason he is trapped in purgatory he goes on a quest to kill Jebussaves.
Brian uses the power of imagination to send a fist flying out of a computer monitor, into Jebussaves' face. He knows he has punched him on the nose, and says, "Save this." Jebussaves replies with a hearty, "Hell no."
However, he realises that there is ABSOLUTELY NO ESCAPE from purgatory. He also realises that Jebussaves is not the cause of his misery, but merely reports it to five or six people on a gaming forum. He forgives Jebussaves and wishes him well. So in awe of JS88's greatness is he, that he shuts his eyes, staples his mouth shut, and selloptapes his arms and legs together (because there is suddenly a few select office supplies in purgatory, including the PC in which he found Jebussaves)
Once again using the power of imagination, Brian frees himself and makes a house for himself to live in. He chooses never to eat again. Whenever he tries to eat something bad happens.
Brian gets hungry and eats some cereal. He is promptly transported to the moon, and holds his breath for as long as he can while being slightly annoyed at himself for breaking his vow only one post later.
He awakens, still on the floor, all stapled and sellotaped. It was just a dream. Suddenly, the part of his brain that generates imagination dissoves, and is replaced by an immortal potato. He lays, still on the floor, dribbling. It is not a dream.
So Brian eventually dies, forever. What you were not expecting was the future, where clones are easily made. So Brian is now recreated as a clone, and as an added benefit has a unbreakable force around him that protects him from jebussaves88, and for every time he tries something I bight one of his toes.
Jebussaves88 replaces his feet with wheels. Bite my wheels Toe Bighter... HAHAHAHAHA.
I role down on clone Brian, and mush hs ass up. Having no imagination, inherited by his forefather, he can't imagine how he switches his shield on. He is flattened. Still alive, but incapable of movement.
I role down on clone Brian, and mush hs ass up. Having no imagination, inherited by his forefather, he can't imagine how he switches his shield on. He is flattened. Still alive, but incapable of movement.
With the extreme improvements in medicine Brian is able to walk again and is given a gun to keep Jebussaves away. But Brian becomes extremely paranoid about Jebussaves coming to kill him in some stupid way then being revived/saved by someone else. He undergoes councilling to help him with this.
However, what Brian doesn't realise is that I am is his councillor. Whilst he dozes in the psychiatrist chair, I tie him up and throw him out of the window. He land on...