My mum is in a bit of a down mood because my sister (18) is causing a lot of drama lately, I'm trying to (and so far, succeeding) at keeping her smiling but I need some nice clean jokes to make her laugh.
Thanks
Thanks
Light hearted clean jokes?
- Thread starter sanchez taco
- Start date
Recommended Videos
Cheesepower5 said:
I dunno...Why?
OT: I've got a pretty good one, but I'm not sure if it falls under the circumstances you're looking for...Would you consider Blonde Jokes to be Light hearted?
A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. While he's having a drink the giraffe falls over. He gets up to leave and the bartender says, "hey, you can't leave that lyin there." the man says, "it's not a lion its a giraffe."
Ba dum tish
Ba dum tish
What do you call a pig with three "I"s?
A piiig.
A BOY FELL IN MUD!
HE TOOK A BATH! WITH BUBBLES!
Bubbles is the girl next door.
A piiig.
A BOY FELL IN MUD!
HE TOOK A BATH! WITH BUBBLES!
Bubbles is the girl next door.
"Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?"
"The backstroke, Sir."
"Waiter what's the meaning of this bug in my soup?"
"I wouldn't know, Sir. I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller."
and kinda gross:
"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!"
"Impossible, Sir, the chef used them all in the raisin bread."
"The backstroke, Sir."
"Waiter what's the meaning of this bug in my soup?"
"I wouldn't know, Sir. I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller."
and kinda gross:
"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!"
"Impossible, Sir, the chef used them all in the raisin bread."
"A man walked into a bar...ouch."
And if you accept stereotype jokes as 'clean': "So an Irishman walks out of a bar.....Don't look at me like that, it could happen!"
(If you don't get this one, say it out loud): Question: "How do you catch a unique rabbit?" Answer: "Unique up on it". Follow-up Question: "How do you catch a tame rabbit?" Answer: "Tame way. Unique up on it."
And if you accept stereotype jokes as 'clean': "So an Irishman walks out of a bar.....Don't look at me like that, it could happen!"
(If you don't get this one, say it out loud): Question: "How do you catch a unique rabbit?" Answer: "Unique up on it". Follow-up Question: "How do you catch a tame rabbit?" Answer: "Tame way. Unique up on it."
My friend told me an incredible story the other day. See, he fancies himself a bit of an outdoorsman, so he likes to go out and hike. Mountains, canyons, forests, you name it. Well anyway, he told me that he had some trouble on his last outing. He had decided to take advantage of a long weekend and planned of his 'backpacking' trips, where he'd bring some supplies, hike and camp out near the trail for a few days before he headed back. He'd go out Saturday morning and be back home Monday evening. Everything was fine until Sunday, when a bear started sniffing around his campsite for food. He scared it off, but he was understandibly worried. So he packed up early the next day and started hiking back. He heard something, and turned around to see that the bear was behind him. He scared it off again, but it was back an hour later. The bear was following him! He picked up the pace, the bear was still there. He started running, but the bear chased him! He saw the parking lot and yelled for help! But then he tripped and the bear caught up to him! And then the bear started pulling on his leg! Just like I'm pulling on yours.
^^It's all in the delivery. You have to build it, seem agitated by the end, and then calmly drop the punchline. Usually the story is told as if it were a personal experience, but in this case, I think third person works better.
^^It's all in the delivery. You have to build it, seem agitated by the end, and then calmly drop the punchline. Usually the story is told as if it were a personal experience, but in this case, I think third person works better.
- Mar 17, 2012
- 5,950
- 14
- 43
- Country
- United States
If your mom likes Katy Perry:
Katy Perry's Movie Part of Me? Saw it last friday night. While I was there, I saw some California Girls there; compared to them, I looked like E.T. Saw some Fireworks beforehand,so i was tired during the previews, but when the movie started, I was Wide Awake. After it ended, I tried to Kiss a Girl, and liked it but she rejected me; she'll always be the one that got away.
Katy Perry's Movie Part of Me? Saw it last friday night. While I was there, I saw some California Girls there; compared to them, I looked like E.T. Saw some Fireworks beforehand,so i was tired during the previews, but when the movie started, I was Wide Awake. After it ended, I tried to Kiss a Girl, and liked it but she rejected me; she'll always be the one that got away.
