Like a lightsaber up the...

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zombielifecoach

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So I went through the archives of threads to see if this has gotten some play before, hopefully I'm not treading on somebody else's ground. If so, sorry. The other day I got to thinking, everybody has a favorite Star Wars Flick(unless your a Tribble-hugging Trekkie), but you never hear about what's the WORST film in the series. My money's on Phantom Menace. The introduction of JarJar. The uncomfortable sexual tension between Ani and Princess Amidala(yeah, even in a galaxy FAR, FAR away it's still statutory rape) and of course the Pod-Racing. Even Darth Maul wasn't enough to save this gem, and did my eyes deceive me or was that blood mist I saw when he got split in two?! There is NO blood mist when your cut by a lightsaber!!! Sheesh! So I put it out there. Which one makes you want to put a blaster to your head the most.
 

zombielifecoach

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TheNecroswanson said:
Meh, The blood was annoying but Maul waskind of cool lookin'.

Anyway, I kind of liked Phantom Menace, even if Ani was 8 and Amidala was 16. (as disturbing as it was)

I disliked Revenge of the Sith. 1: The name is the exact opposite of Return of the Jedi, so it's by this point just repetitive. 2: They turned Darth Vader from the worlds greatest badass, to an idiot whiney emo teen. Seriously, Anakin listens to a crazy old guy with mystical promises that go against everything he's taught, then goes on to defend the lord of the Sith, then goes on to kill children all against his best friend and master's former advice? I cried during the end by the way. Manly tears of the destruction of one of the worlds greatest villains. Darth Vader is no longer a sinnister maniacal and relentless genious voiced by the limitlessly talented James Earl Jones. Now, he's a pissed off teenager who listened to an old guy regardless of better judgement.

Luke: There is still good in you father, I know there is.
Vader: It is too late, my son. I have cut myself too many times.
Luke: 0_o;
I think the only thing in "Sith", worse than Anakin's moody griping, was Obi's whining at the end. "You were supposed to be the CHOSEN one!" Yeah, well he's not, so quit yer bitchin'-Ewan!
 

Joe

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Everything but Empire and A New Hope were garbage, at least in comparison and in retrospect. Return of the Jedi was kind of like Metallica's black album; decent enough on its own but a signal of the beginning of the end. You can't really like it because it was the harbinger.

Lucas screwed up the way the most recent three could've gone. Rather than wasting the first movie with Anakin as a kid, it probably should've started where it ended, with Anakin beginning his Jedi training to the protestation of the council. That way there would've been less pod racing and more training montages, ending with him as a young adult. The second movie could've focused more on his corruption, with Palpatine using the secret marriage as a lever, rather than that awkward scene when he chucks Sam Jackson out a window. And the third could've been Palpatine rising to power while he sends Vader around the galaxy to chase down the remaining Jedi.

Seriously, how the FUCK do you make a montage out of the most important part of the 1-3 trilogy?
 

zombielifecoach

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Joe said:
Everything but Empire and A New Hope were garbage, at least in comparison and in retrospect. Return of the Jedi was kind of like Metallica's black album; decent enough on its own but a signal of the beginning of the end. You can't really like it because it was the harbinger.

Lucas screwed up the way the most recent three could've gone. Rather than wasting the first movie with Anakin as a kid, it probably should've started where it ended, with Anakin beginning his Jedi training to the protestation of the council. That way there would've been less pod racing and more training montages, ending with him as a young adult. The second movie could've focused more on his corruption, with Palpatine using the secret marriage as a lever, rather than that awkward scene when he chucks Sam Jackson out a window. And the third could've been Palpatine rising to power while he sends Vader around the galaxy to chase down the remaining Jedi.

Seriously, how the ---- do you make a montage out of the most important part of the 1-3 trilogy?
The people love montages, Joe. They love them. Like a fat kid loves cake.
 

Geoffrey42

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TheNecroswanson said:
I disliked Revenge of the Sith. 1: The name is the exact opposite of Return of the Jedi, so it's by this point just repetitive.
I'm not taking issue with your point, necessarily, but I did want to say that this was intentional. What I read, from I don't remember where, was that Lucas originally wanted to call Return "Revenge of the Jedi", but that was deemed too harsh, so it was changed to "Return". Coming back around, they got to do Revenge of the Sith, with no interference, and as an intentional mirror to Return.
 

Joe

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zombielifecoach said:
The people love montages, Joe. They love them. Like a fat kid loves cake.
Don't get me wrong, I love a good montage. The Rocky movies are some of my all-time favorites. But the montage for Order 66 or whatever would be like if they made a montage of Rocky fighting Drago, rather than when he was running up the mountain.
 

irishdelinquent

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Yeah, Revenge kinda left me unsatisfied. Just the one scene where obi-wan goes to tell Padme that anakin turned.

"I saw a security hologram of anakin (long, dramatic pause) killing younglings! (Insert Dum-Dum-Daaaaaah!)"

really, really weak
 

zombielifecoach

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irishdelinquent said:
Yeah, Revenge kinda left me unsatisfied. Just the one scene where obi-wan goes to tell Padme that anakin turned.

"I saw a security hologram of anakin (long, dramatic pause) killing younglings! (Insert Dum-Dum-Daaaaaah!)"

really, really weak
I've been known to kill a few Yuenglings myself! Wakka! Wakka! Anyone? NO? sorry...
 

JakubK666

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I for once thought that Sith's were the best out of the new trilogy. I script and acting sucked but at least the movie looked good.Tell me that the space fight in the intro wasn't impressing.

As for Anakin: A villain that just wants to be a bastard towards the whole universe doesn't make a good villain so expanding on his backstory was necessary. The sad thing is though, that the young Anakin and his pissed-off-bitchy-emo personality doesn't go well with his older Lord Vader badass persona.You could feel the ruthlessness in Vader's lightsaber form, while all Anakin ever does is swing it around so much that we're unsure if he means any harm or he's just trying to cut his wrists.
 

GrowlersAtSea

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"Revenge of the Jedi" was changed because Jedi aren't supposed to seek revenge, so it would be kind of contradictory. There are some few rare posters floating about because the film's name was changed rather late in production.

http://legolas.mdh.se/~uks/starwars/pix/posters/revenge-of-the-jedi_big.jpg

I'm of the opinion that Attack of the Clones was the worst of the films. The Phantom Menace does have a lot of bad points, but I feel that most of them with the exception of Jar-Jar, are exacerbated in the sequel.

The new trilogy pretty much destroyed many of the things that people loved about the original films.

Seeing Darth Vader as an annoying kid is, well, annoying. But seeing him as an angsty teen is even worse, in my opinion. This is compounded with him being in some of the worst love scenes of any mainstream movie in decades and it's a formula for awful. I don't generally critisize acting, most of it, is at least tolerable, but some of it in the movie (Hayden Christensen in particular) is just quite bad with pretty bad writing to boot. If they didn't have constant special effects and often intrusive CG work, this would have killed the movies.

Most offensive to me though was the mystery, the mystique of the series, and what these films did to it. There is so much that you are left to wonder about and infer from the first series. But, the new trilogy again worked to destroy it. Trying to explain the Force gets most people annoyed, but to me what they did to Yoda was the worst. Ripping Boba Fett to little pieces (figuratively) by again, showing them as annoying children really was a turn off. But worst of all, I loved Yoda, the mysterious old sage, he talks about how it's not battle that makes someone great, and helps set Luke right. He's taken in the new series from that, the wise old teacher, to some hyperactive ninja muppet. It took away why from why he was supposedly great, and turned him into some gimmick. "Go see it for the Yoda fight".

That's why I feel that way, at least, what Phantom Menace started Attack of the Clones brought to it's horrible conclusion. Revenge of the Sith wasn't so bad, but it would have had to introduce Han Solo as an effeminate book worm to do worse than the others. Ewan McGregor really did seem to try though, his acting seemed the best out of the new series, and I did like Christopher Lee, but otherwise, they're just...sub-par movies.
 

Joe

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j-e-f-f-e-r-s said:
And for every person who yells 'but Vader was a whiny emo', I'll yell back 'and Luke was a no-balls pussy who fancied his sister'.
Yeah, but he was never the anti-christ of an entire universe, either. Vader was, until they pulled back the curtain and revealed him to be a genetic anomaly who cried to Uncle Palpatine every time Obi-Wan wouldn't let him borrow the land speeder.
 

Andy Chalk

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Joe said:
Everything but Empire and A New Hope were garbage, at least in comparison and in retrospect.
I like you, Joe, but I swear if you ever call it "A New Hope" in my presence I'll punch you in the balls.

That said, yeah. Star Wars (STAR WARS) was genius, Empire was a solid follow-up, but then... Ewoks. The only decent thing to come out of the Star Wars mythos since 1980 is KOTOR, and only because they set it so far out of Lucas' "mainstream" timeline that it couldn't get caught up in the embarrassment that the franchise has become.
 

Anarchemitis

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I liked the Podracing...
Oh well. Yeah, that one sucked. The only thing worth salvaging was any scene with those blithering Battledroids.
Kill the meatbags, corperal.
Roger Roger.
 
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Personally, I hated the second one the most. Attack of the Clones, not the genius that is Empire. God damn, I still say the worst line in any Star Wars film is "He's holding me back!" Just the way it is said is so over-the-top, me and my friend made fun of how stupid it sounded...and we were 13, younger than what should have been the target audience.