Ran out of breath during the credits chanting 'Please be punching Paul' for the stinger. Not because I hate Paul (he's amazing!), but because I could in no sense ever imagine that being the real stinger. I probably would have lost it if that actually happened.
On another note, I've got your teen drama right here: a pretty but absolutely bland and inoffensive white girl with no boobs goes to a scenic high school in a normal small town very near to a city, a seashore, a desert, mountains, the moon, Antarctica, ancient ruins, a tribe of indigenous peoples, a lake, a huge mall, an airport, a trackless forest with a river and at least five sites that each have their own ancient curses on them that happen to have five sites that will remove that curse within a half-hour's drive of each of them.
The girl shows up to school one day and sees...a catalogue of sex toys! For everybody else the ad just shows a vibrator but for her, she sees that it's secretly a poor, tormented, really handsome white boy who just wants to cuddle and will never ever even hint that he wants to have sex.
She's surrounded by dozens upon dozens of male and female models at school, all of various races and backgrounds, some of whom are secretly golems, wolfmen, mummies, mermaids, and at least one is a package of Skittles. The male models all express outward interest in her but spend most of their time making goo-goo eyes at each other, while the female models are all bedroom eyes and pillow fights but can never admit to being giant lesbians on camera.
Note: none of the boys can be as white or bland as the true male lead of the movie, the soul of the vibrator. He must also DEMAND to marry the girl whenever possible, preferably offering her money and jewels that she'd only get somehow at the end of the series. Whether or not he is a virgin should be ambiguous and left up to fanfic writers.
Furthermore, the fan favorite of the non-lead male models must heavily imply that he and the male lead have just had gay sex or are about to have gay sex in every scene they have together.
The vibrator must also protect the female lead from another handsome vibrator-who-is-secretly-a-magic-boy, and while he's also Aryan or western European he's not nearly as inoffensive as the male lead. They fight over her, the bad boy almost rapes her, she almost enjoys it, but the male lead saves her. Lather, rinse, repeat ad infinitum.
I just handed some hack screenwriter so much money just now. So much money. Use it wisely.
