Lol, Skyrim.

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Rocksa

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Jul 26, 2008
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Weird moment I had north of Riften. Came to this crossroad area on this small dirt path and started hearing dragon roaring. I scanned the skies and saw nothing, just kept hearing that roar like one was close and about to pop up at any minute. I waited a bit, expecting it to swoop down, and instead ended up seeing a deer that I thought would look perfect in my next set of leather armor. Got ready to take a shot with my bow when a wolf runs out and attacks it, killing it quickly. It growls, does its whole wolf about to attack me thing, and a trio of bandits comes up from further along the path and kills it first. They then start yelling at me a short distance away, doing their song and dance about robbing me and how I'm easier to rob when dead, etc. etc., when a troll charges out of seemingly nowhere and rips through their group. I just watch the carnage for a moment as the three bandits easily fall to the single troll, who then, I imagine somewhat drunk on bloodlust at this point, turns to me and starts pounding the ground, as if in preparation to charge.

I'm still fairly low level at this point, so much so that a troll will present me with a challenge, so I ready my sword and fire spell and hope for the best.

Before the troll manages to move my way, two cave bears come running up from behind it and take it down in no time flat. I freak out a bit now, the troll would have been okay, but the bears are going to kill me outright. One I could have maybe handled, but with two I have no chance. So I find myself resigning myself to get ready to sit through an innevitable loading screen and having my outdoor progress wiped out.

That's when the dragon finally came by and did that whole firebreathing/straffing run deal. Bears are quickly reduced to ash and now the dragon's finally circling overhead and getting ready to take potshots at me. I find myself a bit joyed here, because dragons I feel I can take pretty easily, and they give out those nifty souls. Then I hear some nonsense coming from behind me about dying for the Brotherhood.

At that point I just paused the game, clapped my hands, and announced that I was, in fact, "out". It had finally gotten far too ridiculous with the enemy thing for me.

Ended up finally coming back and just loading up an old save, mostly because I didn't feel I was properly prepared for the inevitable apocolyptic Lovecraftian beast that would have come along had I kept going.
 

Kopikatsu

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May 27, 2010
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I somehow found myself caught in a five way battle between three Hired Thugs, the Town Guard, a Dragon, two Vampires, and Shadowmere. The Dragon killed the Vampires while Shadowmere and the Guard killed the Thugs (Two guards died in the chaos due to random potshots by the Dragon).

At the end of the day, the surviving citizens of Dawnstar (Read: One Guard and some random woman in a dress with a dagger) were the victors.

Rocksa said:
And that's why 'Summmon Bigger Fish' is supposed to be limited to three uses a day!
 

HalfBakedCheeto

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Aug 20, 2011
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I started the game, went exploring pretty far at a low level (Ran from almost everything) and i saw a giant, this being my first playthrough (I abandoned this file shortly afterwards) i got chased ahwile and thought i could hide inside this random shack i found, turns out the owner had been ravished by a sabretooth, i shortly followed his demise.
 

pfeffa

New member
Mar 1, 2009
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I had Lydia with me when I was fetching Esbern, and one of them must have accidentaly hit the other during combat, because when i turned around to check on them they were fithing each other. The mess ended with Esbern killing her. Proper killing her, which I didn't even know was possible, since she had just fallen down previously when reduced to no health. So watch your companions, 'cause Esbern hits like a truck.

Pretty funny, though.
 

Opal Moonstride

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Nov 23, 2011
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After 141 hours played time, I have come across some of the most ridiculous and hilarious glitches and occurrences. I have to say that the funniest one was with my attempt to get married.

I decided to marry a woman (as a female dark elf) after finding no men that weren't old, drunk or just ugly. I figured I may as well have something pretty to come home to. I chose Illia, but no-go. Not even with the marriage cheat.

So, for gits and shiggles I decided to try out Camilla Valerius (sister of the owner of the riverwood traders). I asked her, set up the marriage, and waited for the wedding day. As I take a few steps toward the front of the temple to begin the ceremony, a man suddenly jumps from the bench at the front with a dagger and starts stabbing my wife-to-be! Everyone then begins to scream and attempt to kill him. He brutally murders a few people before I manage to get to him and kill him with a well placed fireball.

But then, rather than everyone being elated that I saved them, they all tell me to get out! Camilla says "How could you?" and promptly leaves.

What in Oblivion happened!!!? Marriage is clearly not in my cards.
 

SidingWithTheEnemy

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Sep 29, 2011
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I was butchering a group of Thalmor Justicar douchbags outside on the main road, at night.
While having a hefty spell casting contest I barely noticed a headless ghostrider riding along the road into the mists of darkness.
I thought about the film Sleepy Hollow and thought that the Thalmor conjured him or something so I reloaded my lastest Quicksave. But this time he appeared again, only not riding his horse but perfoming some glitchy acrobatic stunt standing on the back of his horse. I would post a screenshot but I still don't know whether that's legal (copyright) and/or Bethesda allows me to do that or not...
 

scorptatious

The Resident Team ICO Fanboy
May 14, 2009
7,405
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There was this one time I was on my way to Riften. I was in the middle of a forest and saw a cave bear in the distance. I decided to shoot an ice spike at it in order to engage it. I was pulling out my mace and shield as it ran towards me when I noticed a second cave bear with it.

At this point in the game, despite killing about 10 dragons, I knew I couldn't handle 2 cave bears at once, so I decided to book it. As I was running, I noticed a dungeon entrance and tried running and jumping off the top in order to lose the bears. And what did I find when I hit the bottom? 2 more cave bears!

So I was now running away from 4 angry cave bears, plus a Spriggan that fired something that made all the bears glow green for some reason. So I just kept running. I ran up a hill, checking behind me every now and then to see if the bears were still chasing me. As I reached the top, I saw a lake with what looked like a small settlement on top of it. This was my only chance at salvation I thought. So after jumping over a log, whilst narrowly dodging a bear swiping at my backside, I sprinted into the water and swam away. I watched from a distance as one of the bears stood up on it's hind legs and roared. Frustrated it couldn't get me. I was safe.

I couldn't just let them get away with that though, so I went back and killed one when it was all by itself.
 

Mariakko

Senior Member
Nov 21, 2011
299
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21
I walked into Dawnstar for the first time and was about to go listen to some people talking so I could get a quest. Said people pull out daggers, swords, etc and run at me. "Oh ho!" I thought, "This must be a quest where the innocent protagonist is dragged into a battle!". I quickly slaughter the guys only to incur a bounty and realize that they weren't about to attack me, but the Blood Dragon that behind me.
 

repeating integers

New member
Mar 17, 2010
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Rocksa said:
Weird moment I had north of Riften. Came to this crossroad area on this small dirt path and started hearing dragon roaring. I scanned the skies and saw nothing, just kept hearing that roar like one was close and about to pop up at any minute. I waited a bit, expecting it to swoop down, and instead ended up seeing a deer that I thought would look perfect in my next set of leather armor. Got ready to take a shot with my bow when a wolf runs out and attacks it, killing it quickly. It growls, does its whole wolf about to attack me thing, and a trio of bandits comes up from further along the path and kills it first. They then start yelling at me a short distance away, doing their song and dance about robbing me and how I'm easier to rob when dead, etc. etc., when a troll charges out of seemingly nowhere and rips through their group. I just watch the carnage for a moment as the three bandits easily fall to the single troll, who then, I imagine somewhat drunk on bloodlust at this point, turns to me and starts pounding the ground, as if in preparation to charge.

I'm still fairly low level at this point, so much so that a troll will present me with a challenge, so I ready my sword and fire spell and hope for the best.

Before the troll manages to move my way, two cave bears come running up from behind it and take it down in no time flat. I freak out a bit now, the troll would have been okay, but the bears are going to kill me outright. One I could have maybe handled, but with two I have no chance. So I find myself resigning myself to get ready to sit through an innevitable loading screen and having my outdoor progress wiped out.

That's when the dragon finally came by and did that whole firebreathing/straffing run deal. Bears are quickly reduced to ash and now the dragon's finally circling overhead and getting ready to take potshots at me. I find myself a bit joyed here, because dragons I feel I can take pretty easily, and they give out those nifty souls. Then I hear some nonsense coming from behind me about dying for the Brotherhood.

At that point I just paused the game, clapped my hands, and announced that I was, in fact, "out". It had finally gotten far too ridiculous with the enemy thing for me.

Ended up finally coming back and just loading up an old save, mostly because I didn't feel I was properly prepared for the inevitable apocolyptic Lovecraftian beast that would have come along had I kept going.
This is pure hilarity, and has finally convinced me to add Skyrim to my Christmas list. Well done!
 

Ickorus

New member
Mar 9, 2009
2,887
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BUG TIME!

Here's Louis Letrush in Whiterun, he may or may not have duplicated himself. Twice.



Oh yeah, and one fell halfway through the floor.

Here's the results of a shield charge:



He believed he could fly.

Not even Tamriel can resist planking:

 

Drenaje1

New member
Aug 6, 2011
171
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Leaving Riverwood, preparing to fast travel to a location to continue the quest, when:

'You cannot fast travel when enemies are nearby.'

Me: "WHAT? WHO DARES TO LIVE IN THE PRESENCE OF THE GREAT AND POWERFUL DRAGONBORN?" *dismount horse, unsheathes greatsword*

"Is it a lowly mudcrab, or a wolf, perhaps?"

*Earth shattering roar*

O_O

*turns around*

TOR SHUUUL*sound of horrible burning and screaming villagers*

And so began seven and a half minutes of me chasing a dragon around Riverwood, cursing at children who kept running in my way, trying to dodge flame breath, and hurriedly racing over to one of those two spots on either end of town where the dragon could land such that I could get at it with a sword.


EDIT: Just now, after killing said dragon, and fast travelling to where I was supposed to be, guess what? Another dragon. *facepalm*


But, utilizing super-advanced crouching in plain sight about 100 meters away from your target, in this case, a dragon, I shot it to death with arrows while it just spun around on the ground, baring it's teeth once or twice in my direction. I even got 2.0x sneak attack critical hits on it, and after killing it and turning around to see why my horse is neighing, I see it running off into the hills with Esbern, killing the Forsworn.
 

traineesword

New member
Jan 24, 2010
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I once came upon too mammoths. This was with my first character and about my fourth hour of gameplay and it was the first time I'd actually seen any live ones. The two mammoths were walking toward each other, and suddenly one of them started glitching all over the place. It slowly jittered it's way on top of the other mammoth and then suddenly flew way over 50 feet into the air and died upon impact with the floor. The remaining mammoth looked around and decided it was all the fault of a nearby fox and tusk-flung the little critter a good 10 feet away.

speaking of jittery-air flying, i also was chasing a rabbit one time. I used my "zoom and slow time" bow power, and it started glitching against a couple of rocks and rose up a few feet into the air. In that split moment (this was in slow motion too, so a split moment in that means it must of been happening really quick) i shot it in mid-air with an arrow and it's soul-less body then flew off, higher and higher into the air and travelling away from me. I never got that raw rabbit leg.
 
Sep 3, 2011
44
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derelict said:
So, a funny moment to share. Playing Skyrim earlier, managed to get the entirety of Whitefall after me, guards would attack me on sight with no chance of yielding - since this was very near the beginning of the game for me I had to run from every town I'd yet discovered as soon as the guards would spot me. Which was about half a mile given I'd chosen heavy armor and had no aptitude in sneaking. So, what might you ask, was my crime? So heinous that gave every guard within 30 miles license to cut me down in the most brutal and direct way possible upon seeing half an inch of me go by?


I killed a chicken. I can imagine what my tombstone would've said: "Here lies Syril, murderist of poultry. Oblivion take you, blasphemer!" or something. Maybe it was just funny at the time, though... (=

Anyone else for funny moments?
Everyone I see on YT or read is amazed at how people are attacking for killing their property then resisting arrest. I would be wondering why they didn't care about their source of money/food if they didn't come after you.
 

Cooperblack

New member
Apr 6, 2009
253
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Was sneaking but not really paying attention because i was so tired so i move a little to far of the small cliff and though i i wold drop down right in the middle of the guards who were talking right below..but that didn't happen, instead i ended up right on top one of the guards helmets just standing there on top of him..while he continued his conversation...i went to bed laughing.
 

Voodoomancer

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Jun 8, 2009
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You know how sometimes when you kill a dragon and come back later the skeleton has moved, possibly clipped into something? First time I came to Morthal, a dragon attacked. Killed dragon. Entered the jarl's longhouse. Went out again and nearly had a heart attack when I saw the dragon skeleton bursting out of a nearby house and flailing about in an eerily lifelike manner.

Another Story: You know how you usually hear a dragon roaring well before it actually attacks? Just after I bought my first horse, a dragon sneak-attacked me. I was just riding down a road, then suddenly my brand new horse is on fire -_-
 

Kurt Leube

New member
Nov 27, 2011
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I talked to some imperials outside a cave, next thing i know my horse is flying past me and over the hill. So after walking from Falkreath to Solitude so that i can join the imperials, I walk through the gate and see this guy on like a stage giving a speech. Next thing i know the whole town turns around and tries to kill me. I ran all the way back to Whiterun.
 

Mr Companion

New member
Jul 27, 2009
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Used Mehrunes Razor to instantkill the final boss in about 3 hits

Frenzied a wizard in a bar, kills a woman, I get a mere 80 gold fine and everybody sits back down to drink with her corpse on the floor.

Become the archmage as an assassin with no magic skills, the boss in Laberynthien is like "did your tutor tell you I can sap your magic power?!" and im like "wait do you really think my power comes fro- I mean oh dear yes you certernately have me beat oh my goodness! Arsenipples and all that..."
 

HeatproofShAdOw

New member
Apr 12, 2011
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I spent around 10 minutes shooting, hacking and firebolting a dragon to half heath. A giant comes along, and kills it in 5 seconds flat. ._.