Long distance relationships

[Jack_Uzi]

Hi people of the escapist,

It's been such a long time since I've been here. But I felt some inspiration to share this with whom ever is reading this (of course) and all the people that might be more or less in the same situation as I've been.
I found the person that is now my fiance here on this very forum of ours! This has happened actually quite a while ago. Not to mention how difficult it was to state our feelings towards each other from being corresponding friends to something more beautiful.
It was a very big hassle for us to be in the place we are right now, together but I can say that every moment of it was worth it. Having to deal with friends and colleagues that were very dismissive about long distance relationships and how they 'never work out' to the imigration procedure in my own country. Not to forget that Skype sometimes was being a b!tch. I just wanted to say, to all of you who are in such position, don't give up (unless you really feel it's not worth while, then just do ). Because there are also positive stories to be told, instead of all the gloom and doom. All good things come to those who wait.
Now, before someone suspects me of making a post without any discussion value, please, if you will, share your stories with me/us!

 

[KindOfnElf]

Well, times really have changed here in this place. Good to be back even if it's just once again to talk to you in this destiny place of ours. <3 I sure would love to hear some more success stories, but it seems the community doesn't feel like sharing. But, here is me, replying to your post, just as many moons ago you replied to mine and that ended in me about to marry you. Where is that weird avatar of yours? YOu look shady with a baseball hat

 

[TakeyB0y2]

As someone who doesn't really enjoy sex (though I'm not asexual) or really physical intimacy and frequently wants alone time, long-distance relationships are like a godsend to me. I've found more enjoyment out of long-distance ones as opposed to in-person ones. Even so, it's hard to find someone who has needs and wants that sync up with mine well, and I have yet to find anything that lasts long.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Matchmaking on the Escapist? Unheard of!



Congrats, I truly do wish you the best. Treasure love wherever it is found. :3

 

[Avnger]

My only advice is to never be complacent with the relationship. It's a lot easier than you can imagine especially long distance. Misunderstandings can become more magnified, and problems that pop up can be harder to solve. Communication is the key, and holding anything back can be a killer.

My long distance engagement recently fell apart, so I can only say good luck.

/signed slightly jaded guy

 

[Neurotic Void Melody]

Hey, it's great that you posted this! There are many who may think it is unnecessary, but positive stories are hard to come by here, and I'm glad you have your positive story literally born from this place! (Is...is this irony? I feel it's like a beautiful irony).
Long distance can be difficult depending on the self esteem of either party. Other people around not so internet savvy will usually be distrusting, it is their nature towards unknown pathways to unknown people; they often assume the worst. Not unfounded...but
Trust is necessary, and essential to earn. Long distance cannot last forever though, it is a good initiator but human contact is vital for connecting with each other. Words and pictures can only provide so much, allowing for misinterpretationa and all sorts that are avoidable. In this format, people can choose who and what they want to appear to be, People so often try to portray the best version on themselves that others can be disappointed by their trivial realities of being a human that do not live up to idealised standards.
Just, like I would advise anybody else in this venture; be cautious. So much can change on sudden whims and if you are completely unprepared for disappointment, it will be a troubling effort to recover from.
Surely your other half can read this also if you met here? wouldn't it be better to talk this between each other? (Oops, forget that bit, sorry, I misread) Communication and honesty is integral. Keep open with each other. I wish you peeps of human bundles good luck and good wisdom!

(Ah crap, I went into unwarranted advice mode again, sorry!)

 

[Sleepy Sol]

All of mine (something like 3 or 4?) sucked. But that's at least partially my fault. It's been years, and I can't see myself doing it again. I think it's also rather fucked up my perception of relationships as a whole, but that's my personal issue to tackle. All the best to you and your fiance. They can absolutely turn out beautifully; just hasn't worked for me.

 

[Phasmal]

Wow, congratulations! How long have you been together?

It's always nice when you meet someone in an unusual way. Though it can make the retelling of how you met a rather long and complicated story.
I think long distance relationships only work when they have an end date in mind. Somebody generally has to move.

As I've mentioned a bunch of times before, me and Boyfriend met on WoW and were originally 500 miles apart. I was the one who moved, but it wasn't too much hassle for us as I was only moving from Scotland to England. That was seven years ago, and I'm really glad that I moved.

 

[sanquin]

Tried it a few times when I was a bit younger. Never worked out, always ended up badly. I guess long distance relationships aren't my thing.

 

[Jack_Uzi]

@Phasmal: Thank you!! We've been knowing each other for around six years now. But, unfortunately due to circumstances that we couldn't do anything more but wait on, we're living together for nearly 2 years
Good to hear that it turned out to be good for you too. It's Always a difficult process to leave everything behind to be with one another. But then again, rather together than apart.

*edit* whow, it really has been a while that I've been here. I don't even know how to reply anymore.

 

[KindOfnElf]

Hey, it's great that you posted this! There are many who may think it is unnecessary, but positive stories are hard to come by here, and I'm glad you have your positive story literally born from this place! (Is...is this irony? I feel it's like a beautiful irony).
Long distance can be difficult depending on the self esteem of either party. Other people around not so internet savvy will usually be distrusting, it is their nature towards unknown pathways to unknown people; they often assume the worst. Not unfounded...but
Trust is necessary, and essential to earn. Long distance cannot last forever though, it is a good initiator but human contact is vital for connecting with each other. Words and pictures can only provide so much, allowing for misinterpretationa and all sorts that are avoidable. In this format, people can choose who and what they want to appear to be, People so often try to portray the best version on themselves that others can be disappointed by their trivial realities of being a human that do not live up to idealised standards.
Just, like I would advise anybody else in this venture; be cautious. So much can change on sudden whims and if you are completely unprepared for disappointment, it will be a troubling effort to recover from.
Surely your other half can read this also if you met here? wouldn't it be better to talk this between each other? (Oops, forget that bit, sorry, I misread) Communication and honesty is integral. Keep open with each other. I wish you peeps of human bundles good luck and good wisdom!

(Ah crap, I went into unwarranted advice mode again, sorry!)

Haha, thanks man. I/We agree! Communication is definitely the key, honesty is the Holy Grail and trust, though it's not easy to build, but if you open your heart to someone and they are opening back with the same pace and greatness.. well, you know, you fall in love. Just like we did. The one interesting thing I can say is that, as life would have it, we met through my problems, so we opened our acquaintance with dark side. And when the other one is ready to offer a helping hand, a listening ear, a place to fall and that's a perfect stranger that owes you nothing and wants nothing in return then... it can only go up from there.

Hmmm... now that I think about it, he did got me to marry him O_O Was this your plan all along @Jack_Uzi?

 

[Jack_Uzi]

Hey, it's great that you posted this! There are many who may think it is unnecessary, but positive stories are hard to come by here, and I'm glad you have your positive story literally born from this place! (Is...is this irony? I feel it's like a beautiful irony).
Long distance can be difficult depending on the self esteem of either party. Other people around not so internet savvy will usually be distrusting, it is their nature towards unknown pathways to unknown people; they often assume the worst. Not unfounded...but
Trust is necessary, and essential to earn. Long distance cannot last forever though, it is a good initiator but human contact is vital for connecting with each other. Words and pictures can only provide so much, allowing for misinterpretationa and all sorts that are avoidable. In this format, people can choose who and what they want to appear to be, People so often try to portray the best version on themselves that others can be disappointed by their trivial realities of being a human that do not live up to idealised standards.
Just, like I would advise anybody else in this venture; be cautious. So much can change on sudden whims and if you are completely unprepared for disappointment, it will be a troubling effort to recover from.
Surely your other half can read this also if you met here? wouldn't it be better to talk this between each other? (Oops, forget that bit, sorry, I misread) Communication and honesty is integral. Keep open with each other. I wish you peeps of human bundles good luck and good wisdom!

(Ah crap, I went into unwarranted advice mode again, sorry!)

I totally agree with what you said. Though it's been a difficult journey, it's pretty funny how some things between each other come so much in tune even without seeing one another. I guess it's a different way of approaching the one you are communicating like this since it is indeed greatly dependent on honesty between each other. Thankfully, we both didn't pretend a bit and all of that made it us being really worth while.
I also had knew some people that had a long distance relationship, one of them even got married and decided to go to the US for her. Both didn't end up well. But all in all, we're all 'just' people that deal with things in our own way. If respect, honesty and love are met, I guess the basis at least is solid.

 

[Jack_Uzi]

Hey, it's great that you posted this! There are many who may think it is unnecessary, but positive stories are hard to come by here, and I'm glad you have your positive story literally born from this place! (Is...is this irony? I feel it's like a beautiful irony).
Long distance can be difficult depending on the self esteem of either party. Other people around not so internet savvy will usually be distrusting, it is their nature towards unknown pathways to unknown people; they often assume the worst. Not unfounded...but
Trust is necessary, and essential to earn. Long distance cannot last forever though, it is a good initiator but human contact is vital for connecting with each other. Words and pictures can only provide so much, allowing for misinterpretationa and all sorts that are avoidable. In this format, people can choose who and what they want to appear to be, People so often try to portray the best version on themselves that others can be disappointed by their trivial realities of being a human that do not live up to idealised standards.
Just, like I would advise anybody else in this venture; be cautious. So much can change on sudden whims and if you are completely unprepared for disappointment, it will be a troubling effort to recover from.
Surely your other half can read this also if you met here? wouldn't it be better to talk this between each other? (Oops, forget that bit, sorry, I misread) Communication and honesty is integral. Keep open with each other. I wish you peeps of human bundles good luck and good wisdom!

(Ah crap, I went into unwarranted advice mode again, sorry!)

Haha, thanks man. I/We agree! Communication is definitely the key, honesty is the Holy Grail and trust, though it's not easy to build, but if you open your heart to someone and they are opening back with the same pace and greatness.. well, you know, you fall in love. Just like we did. The one interesting thing I can say is that, as life would have it, we met through my problems, so we opened our acquaintance with dark side. And when the other one is ready to offer a helping hand, a listening ear, a place to fall and that's a perfect stranger that owes you nothing and wants nothing in return then... it can only go up from there.

Hmmm... now that I think about it, he did got me to marry him O_O Was this your plan all along @Jack_Uzi?

# all planned sweeatheart. It's even THAT creepy that you are home and I'm at work and writing the same thing to someone at nearly the same time *starts whistling the tune of the twilight zone*

 

[KindOfnElf]

Hey, it's great that you posted this! There are many who may think it is unnecessary, but positive stories are hard to come by here, and I'm glad you have your positive story literally born from this place! (Is...is this irony? I feel it's like a beautiful irony).
Long distance can be difficult depending on the self esteem of either party. Other people around not so internet savvy will usually be distrusting, it is their nature towards unknown pathways to unknown people; they often assume the worst. Not unfounded...but
Trust is necessary, and essential to earn. Long distance cannot last forever though, it is a good initiator but human contact is vital for connecting with each other. Words and pictures can only provide so much, allowing for misinterpretationa and all sorts that are avoidable. In this format, people can choose who and what they want to appear to be, People so often try to portray the best version on themselves that others can be disappointed by their trivial realities of being a human that do not live up to idealised standards.
Just, like I would advise anybody else in this venture; be cautious. So much can change on sudden whims and if you are completely unprepared for disappointment, it will be a troubling effort to recover from.
Surely your other half can read this also if you met here? wouldn't it be better to talk this between each other? (Oops, forget that bit, sorry, I misread) Communication and honesty is integral. Keep open with each other. I wish you peeps of human bundles good luck and good wisdom!

(Ah crap, I went into unwarranted advice mode again, sorry!)

Haha, thanks man. I/We agree! Communication is definitely the key, honesty is the Holy Grail and trust, though it's not easy to build, but if you open your heart to someone and they are opening back with the same pace and greatness.. well, you know, you fall in love. Just like we did. The one interesting thing I can say is that, as life would have it, we met through my problems, so we opened our acquaintance with dark side. And when the other one is ready to offer a helping hand, a listening ear, a place to fall and that's a perfect stranger that owes you nothing and wants nothing in return then... it can only go up from there.

Hmmm... now that I think about it, he did got me to marry him O_O Was this your plan all along @Jack_Uzi?

# all planned sweeatheart. It's even THAT creepy that you are home and I'm at work and writing the same thing to someone at nearly the same time *starts whistling the tune of the twilight zone*

I know, right? O_O Dayyymnnnnn. GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!! Actually. No. Stay! ^_^

 

[Creator002]

Tried it a few times when I was a bit younger. Never worked out, always ended up badly. I guess long distance relationships aren't my thing.

This is how it is for me.
Didn't end any badly, just kind of stopped talking to each other each time. Prefer face to face anyway.

 

[Silentpony_v1legacy]

I was in one of those. It sucked. Its basically just cam sex every once in awhile, and lots of tedious, endless, mindless phone calls about how your day was, and what were you think of today, and how often you thought of me today and I saw a flower that reminded me of your eyes and OH MY FUCKING GOD SHUT UP!

As far as I can tell its all the worst parts of a relationship with a lot more sad masturbating.

 

[Blitsie]

My only advice is to never be complacent with the relationship. It's a lot easier than you can imagine especially long distance. Misunderstandings can become more magnified, and problems that pop up can be harder to solve. Communication is the key, and holding anything back can be a killer.

My long distance engagement recently fell apart, so I can only say good luck.

/signed slightly jaded guy

This so much, communication is the absolute most important as its practically the only thing you have hahaha. I made the mistake to hold back and never address any uncertainties, yeow did it not work out. Insecurities increase tenfold which is the crappy part (well it was in my case anyway haha)

Ultimately I believe long distance can work though. Like any other relationship it has its unique set of challenges and it mostly comes down to whether both parties feel strongly enough to overcome said challenges. On top of other complexities of course but thats another discussion

But gratz man!!! Its so awesome to hear things worked out for you two and I hope for many amazing years together for you guys!

 

[Fox12]

Oh, that's awesome! Congratulations!

It's cool to see stories like this. It reminds me of that guy who asked for help naming his baby Tali Zorah, and then came back and posted pictures.

 

[Jack_Uzi]

As someone who doesn't really enjoy sex (though I'm not asexual) or really physical intimacy and frequently wants alone time, long-distance relationships are like a godsend to me. I've found more enjoyment out of long-distance ones as opposed to in-person ones. Even so, it's hard to find someone who has needs and wants that sync up with mine well, and I have yet to find anything that lasts long.

Haha! That's indeed a good perk to have when not seeing each other for quite a while. Unfortunately, neither one of us had that, we just missed being with each other during those (nearly ?) 4 long years that sometimes I tended to break down and cry while walking to work. But I hope you'll find someone who will match your needs in the end

 

[Jack_Uzi]

Matchmaking on the Escapist? Unheard of!



Congrats, I truly do wish you the best. Treasure love wherever it is found. :3

Oh, that's awesome! Congratulations!

It's cool to see stories like this. It reminds me of that guy who asked for help naming his baby Tali Zorah, and then came back and posted pictures.

My only advice is to never be complacent with the relationship. It's a lot easier than you can imagine especially long distance. Misunderstandings can become more magnified, and problems that pop up can be harder to solve. Communication is the key, and holding anything back can be a killer.

My long distance engagement recently fell apart, so I can only say good luck.

/signed slightly jaded guy

This so much, communication is the absolute most important as its practically the only thing you have hahaha. I made the mistake to hold back and never address any uncertainties, yeow did it not work out. Insecurities increase tenfold which is the crappy part (well it was in my case anyway haha)

Ultimately I believe long distance can work though. Like any other relationship it has its unique set of challenges and it mostly comes down to whether both parties feel strongly enough to overcome said challenges. On top of other complexities of course but thats another discussion

But gratz man!!! Its so awesome to hear things worked out for you two and I hope for many amazing years together for you guys!

I'm sorry, I don't know how to 'fold up' all these comments anymore. But I just wanted to thank you guys!! All the best of luck and good stuff thingies in life to you too!