Long Distance Relationships

[LittleJP]

Long story short, I've gotten myself into one.

Thoughts, experiences, stories?

 

[Ham_authority95]

Hey, I'm in one as well.

I met my girlfriend while she was an exchange student in the US, she was from Denmark. After she left, we started talking over skype and I flew to see her a few weeks ago. Now I've gotten back and we've arranged to meet again for Christmas.

I love her, so it's definitely worth it right now, especially when we can Skype. I do miss her terribly, though.

Basically, make sure you make time, any time, to be with each other and talk frequently through Facebook or phone or whatever. I talk to my girlfriend almost everyday, and I'm counting my money for plane tickets, so I've done all I can. Be prepared to make yourself busy to avoid being sad without the other person.

 

[Sniper Team 4]

Well, the only one I ever had was a long distance one. There were strains to be sure, but we made it work. Or at least, I thought we did, but more on that in a second.
We called each other at least twice a week to simply talk. Stayed in touch constantly through e-mail. And we'd plan ahead, sometimes months at a time, for when we would see each other again. The weeks leading up to the trip of me flying to her home or her driving here were bliss. If I was having a rough day, all I had to do was tell myself "In X amount of days, I'll get to see her," and I would have a big grin on my face. One of my favorite times was when, somehow, I got three straight days off from work and school and her mom was out of town. I literally looked at my parents and said, "I'm going to Washington this weekend." I flew up there and spent the weekend with her and siblings.
It can be trying at times, but it also means you make the time you do have together mean a lot more than when you see each other constantly.

Sadly, one of the reason she eventually broke up with me was because of the distance. She wanted someone who could always "be there and hold me." Worst day of my life.

 

[Kryzantine]

Good fucking luck.

The only long distance relationships I have seen IRL run into the inevitable problem that all long-distance relationships face, in that it's rare that two people who are supposed to be there for each other when shit happens, actually can't physically be there. And when someone needs to be held, they won't be held; when someone needs to have sex, they won't have sex.

I remember this one gal from when I was helping out some of the NYU Law students getting used to the city, who was engaged at the time and getting married that summer. Now, it was Valentine's Day by that point, so it was fitting that love became the subject. She came up from Alabama and told me a story of how she had this high school sweetheart, and they were in a relationship for 2 years before heading off to college, and how they were going to keep the relationship long-distance. A year of college passes by, and not only had she already found the love of her life (her current husband), her high school sweetheart had had sex with about 5 different girls in that same timespan. Their colleges were only 50 miles apart from each other.

So yeah, to repeat myself. Good fucking luck.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

Best of luck to you. I've been in multiple with varying levels of success and failure. There are some people I never talk to anymore who hate me. There are some people who I'm still friendly with. As for my last LDR, I ended up moving in with her. Things turned out pretty nicely for me so I wish you the best of luck.

 

[arsenicCatnip]

I think I'm an LDR/online relationship success story.

I met my boyfriend through a mutual friend of ours. She knew him IRL, I'd never met him. We started talking, and realized there was a real connection. After we'd been talking (text, phone, Skype, webcam) for 3 months, I flew out to meet him (and her, since we'd been friends online for about 2 years by that point); the moment we saw each other we knew it was right.

I moved cross-country to be with him late last year, and I'm happy that I did. Being with him is the most wonderful feeling ever, and I'm a lucky girl.

Just keep working at it, and make sure to make time to spend with each other however you can. It makes things much easier.

 

[DustyDrB]

Good fucking luck.

The only long distance relationships I have seen IRL run into the inevitable problem that all long-distance relationships face, in that it's rare that two people who are supposed to be there for each other when shit happens, actually can't physically be there. And when someone needs to be held, they won't be held; when someone needs to have sex, they won't have sex.

I remember this one gal from when I was helping out some of the NYU Law students getting used to the city, who was engaged at the time and getting married that summer. Now, it was Valentine's Day by that point, so it was fitting that love became the subject. She came up from Alabama and told me a story of how she had this high school sweetheart, and they were in a relationship for 2 years before heading off to college, and how they were going to keep the relationship long-distance. A year of college passes by, and not only had she already found the love of her life (her current husband), her high school sweetheart had had sex with about 5 different girls in that same timespan. Their colleges were only 50 miles apart from each other.

So yeah, to repeat myself. Good fucking luck.

Yeah. I agree here.

I used to have a penchant for meetings girls who ended up being on vacation (I live in Charleston, SC. I can ride my bike to the beach). I finally said "Fuck it, let's try this!" once when I met a particularly wonderful gal. That lasted about...a month. And when we broke up, we both said basically the same thing: that we realized about a week in that this shit just doesn't work. Most amicable break-up ever.

 

[SweetLiquidSnake]

I personally think they don't exist but I have seen some work out and some not.

I have a relative who did meet someone and are now married with a kid, so good on them.

But I had a ex-friend who would have "girlfriends" from all over, he had one in another province, another country, even another continent. If he kept it to himself I wouldn't have minded but then when he started talking about flying down there after the first week to meet her (or him for all we know), threatening her ex-boyfriends who live in a different province (the ol' "Don't make me come down there!") trying to "hook me up" with some chick from a different country, or my favourite was sending them money for a plane ticket to see him and then "oops, lost the money, sorry hun ". He was just a total moron about it, hence the "ex" friend since I had enough of him. (Sorry ranting a little here...)

Just be smart about it. Don't end up like that old fool I saw on ABC news, who sent his entire pension ($150,000) to some dude in Nigeria because he thought it was some hot young honey. Funny thing was the Nigerian guy was using pictures of internet model Raven Riley, so I think any young guy would have recognized her but he obviously didn't haha.

 

[Devil's Due]

(removed by the National Security Agency)

 

[King of the Sandbox]

I married mine.

Yup, met her on a D&D forum, too. She was in England, I was here in the States. She came to visit for a week, I went to visit for a month. She came to visit for 3 months, I went to visit for 4 months... during which I proposed. She accepted, we fought our way though the paperwork and immigration, and viola! Happy as clams. ^-^

Suck it, naysayers.

 

[ZiggyE]

Good fucking luck.

This.

I wouldn't even consider recommending someone get into a long distance relationship. They simply don't work in the long term. I'd recommend bailing if it's going to last more than a year and if it's going to last less than a year, then I guess it's worth a try.

 

[AzureRaven]

It's really all based on the individuals. It requires two patient people who fully understand and comprehend what it means to be in a long-distance relationship. That said, I think when done right they can work out really well. I've heard an absolute ton of stories about people meeting their spouse on an MMO, Forum, etc. And from what I hear, the relationships usually go really well. Obviously there are exceptions, and you need to watch out, but I believe they have a lot of potential to work. I'm all for them personally. I wish the best of luck to you.

 

[King of the Sandbox]

Good fucking luck.

This.

I wouldn't even consider recommending someone get into a long distance relationship. They simply don't work in the long term. I'd recommend bailing if it's going to last more than a year and if it's going to last less than a year, then I guess it's worth a try.

My long distance gf-turned-wife and I just celebrated our 5th anniversary and are as in love as ever, if not more.

 

[Chasing-The-Light]

I've had a few experiences with long distance relationships. First, I dated a girl from Canada and she was pretty nice and great and all... but what it came down to, was I had to compromise my dreams in life in order to make our dreams of being together a reality, and I just wasn't willing to do that. So, that relationship ended.

Now I'm sorta in another long-distance relationship, and have been for a year, now. The girl I'm with now lives in Pennsylvania, and I do too during the year -we go to the same college. However, I actually live in Florida, when I'm not there. So... that's been putting a bit of a strain on things.

Sometimes we've wondered if things were going to work out... and we finally had to come to the decision that she needed to come with me back to Florida after next year.

I think with those sorts of things, they're hard to make work, but it's all about the compromise and the pros and cons of the situation and being willing to give a little in order to get a little back. Also, you should be pretty good with communication skills. That's always a big plus... (*Something I /DID NOT/ have...*)

 

[ZiggyE]

Good fucking luck.

This.

I wouldn't even consider recommending someone get into a long distance relationship. They simply don't work in the long term. I'd recommend bailing if it's going to last more than a year and if it's going to last less than a year, then I guess it's worth a try.

My long distance gf-turned-wife and I just celebrated our 5th anniversary and are as in love as ever, if not more.

The exception that proves the rule (man that's a stupid idiom). Situational or contradicting examples doesn't change the fact that you are part of an incredibly small minority.

 

[King of the Sandbox]

Good fucking luck.

This.

I wouldn't even consider recommending someone get into a long distance relationship. They simply don't work in the long term. I'd recommend bailing if it's going to last more than a year and if it's going to last less than a year, then I guess it's worth a try.

My long distance gf-turned-wife and I just celebrated our 5th anniversary and are as in love as ever, if not more.

The exception that proves the rule (man that's a stupid idiom). Situational or contradicting examples doesn't change the fact that you are part of an incredibly small minority.

Well, OF COURSE we're the minority, when you compare the number of couple who met locally and those who met over long distance. I bet if you compared the success rates of matches by locals and then by long distancers, they'd probably be about the same, though.

Regardless, I was responding to your insinuation that they NEVER work.

 

[pearcinator]

As soon as the teleporters are invented (or something that can get us to the other side of the world in a couple of hours) then there would be no such thing as long-distance relationships!

but until that day comes...I dont know of anyone thats been in a long-distance relationship that worked out.

 

[ZiggyE]

Good fucking luck.

This.

I wouldn't even consider recommending someone get into a long distance relationship. They simply don't work in the long term. I'd recommend bailing if it's going to last more than a year and if it's going to last less than a year, then I guess it's worth a try.

My long distance gf-turned-wife and I just celebrated our 5th anniversary and are as in love as ever, if not more.

The exception that proves the rule (man that's a stupid idiom). Situational or contradicting examples doesn't change the fact that you are part of an incredibly small minority.

Well, OF COURSE we're the minority, when you compare the number of couple who met locally and those who met over long distance. I bet if you compared the success rates of matches by locals and then by long distancers, they'd probably be about the same, though.

Regardless, I was responding to your insinuation that they NEVER work.

I'd disagree, though I don't have any statistics to back it up. From personal experiences, I've seen relationships tend to last longer than short distance ones. And for it to continue to work, eventually it must become a short distance relationship.

Obviously the insinuation that they never work was a hyperbole, though, in my opinion, not much of one to be considered an issue. It always works for someone and I believe everyone would have made that assumption when reading my post.