Looking for some advice for a girl situation

[Cowabungaa]

*gasp* I know, how original right? It's like the first topic ever asking for help like this. Ah whatever.

Right, it's not a really complicated situation or anything, but here's the deal. A few weeks back I was checking my local comic book store whether they had an issue of Iron Man I was looking for. While waiting for the shop assistant to finish his call, a girl walked up behind me holding an Avatar The Last Airbender book. Socially able as I am, I asked her whether there were Avatar comics now, and she explained me it was an art book with animation tips she could use.

So we started chatting a bit about anime and manga, how I wasn't big into both and only knew a few that I really liked, and before I knew it she dragged me down to the manga section of the store and started recommending me several anime and manga. And like that we spent an hour or something, talking about anime, manga, her own drawing skills (which were damn impressive) and things like that.

I must admit that, during the whole thing I was a bit flabbergasted. Shellshocked, if you will. It's not like something that awesome randomly happens to me. Especially after she gave me her card with her email on it.

So we parted ways, I could still barely believe my luck, and a few days later I send her an email, telling her her anime recommendations struck home (respectively Trigun and Escaflowne) and asking her what her own fav's where, because she didn't tell those, to strike up a conversation.

Thing is, this was like 3 weeks ago now, and I still haven't got a response from her. It kinda surprises me, seeing as how well our meeting went. And it's not like I confessed some kind of undying love or anything of the sort. I just met her and would just like to know her better. So I thought; maybe she just forgot. Maybe my email was just buried under others. Who knows.

So now we come to the core of my little issue; I'd like to try to contact her again, but I don't really know how. You see, I don't want to come of as desperate or anything. I just want to strike up a conversation, get to know her a bit. But how do I tackle it now that my first email failed to hit home?

 

[Lilani]

Just send her another email. Ask her how things are going, and if she had a chance to try what you recommended yet. And be sure to state you understand if she's busy or forgot or something I don't see why she'd give you her card if she were against the idea of you contacting her. And if she doesn't respond, then it's on her, not on you. Even if she doesn't like you and wants to break off contact, it's only decent to respond and tell you so. Otherwise, how are you supposed to know?

 

[Acier]

Just send her another email. Ask her how things are going, and if she had a chance to try what you recommended yet. And be sure to state you understand if she's busy or forgot or something I don't see why she'd give you her card if she were against the idea of you contacting her. And if she doesn't respond, then it's on her, not on you. Even if she doesn't like you and wants to break off contact, it's only decent to respond and tell you so. Otherwise, how are you supposed to know?

She's got it, sometimes emails get lost in the fray. Especially if you're university student age, you get a metric fuckton of email notifications. Just be sure that when you send an email, that you're actually saying something other than "wassup". Recommend her something new, or you branched out on your own and was wondering what she thought of an anime you watched of your own volition. Something like that.

 

[Ando85]

I agree with a lot of the posts that say just e-mail her again. 3 weeks have passed, you won't appear desperate. Hell, even if you did appear desperate what do you have to lose? If you never try to contact her again you missed a possible opportunity.

 

[Cowabungaa]

Otherwise, how are you supposed to know?

True that. I already wondered if I might have offended her some way during our first meeting, or if I goofed up or something. Given, I might've appeared...sort of "out there", due to me being in a constant state of surprise.

I guess I'll just try again then. Now I'm just not sure how to start. Saying "Heej I wondered whether you got my email" sounds a bit...off, I don't know. And to send one as if I've never send the first one is just weird.

 

[Raven's Nest]

snip

This has happened to me quite a bit recently. I don't mind if someone decides they don't wanna talk to me anymore but the silent treatment is just fucking annoying. Especially when you and your friends can't work out why. There's only so many chances that she got hit by a bus on the way home right?

As for you, send her another mail. You can't lose more than you may have already lost. Sometimes people are just busy or forget, if you're lucky she'll feel like she owes you and you could use that to your advantage (in a non-creepy way)...

 

[Frezz]

It's very likely that the email got lost in the fray, and at this point she may be in the similarly awkward position of wondering if sending a response this late will make her look like an ass. I know I've been there.

Definitely send another email, you've really got nothing to lose. If it turns out she's not interested, then you don't have to think about it anymore. If she is and she just wasn't sure if replying would be weird, then you've just solved the problem!

 

[dmase]

Well you have her name right? So check out fbook, friend her, that's usually the first thing I do when I meet someone new.

 

[Cowabungaa]

Well you have her name right? So check out fbook, friend her, that's usually the first thing I do when I meet someone new.

I found her on facebook yeah, thing is, adding her right now would be...awkward, I think. Maybe once I've established contact.

So yeah, right now I'm figuring out what to send her without making it look all awkward. Harder than I thought it would be.

 

[dmase]

Well you have her name right? So check out fbook, friend her, that's usually the first thing I do when I meet someone new.

I found her on facebook yeah, thing is, adding her right now would be...awkward, I think. Maybe once I've established contact.

So yeah, right now I'm figuring out what to send her without making it look all awkward. Harder than I thought it would be.

Your making yourself feel awkward about it, don't. Think about it like this, whats more awkward friending someone on fbook a couple weeks after you met them or striking up a conversation about manga and anime with someone who has never read or watched it?

I like anime, manga and videogames but I wouldn't go into a conversation about that with someone I just met of the opposite sex. You're probably weirder for thinking about what her reaction will be so much. You just friending her takes a lot of thought out of the situation, you don't have to think about what to say or what not to say, how to play off the "awkwardness" it's just a friend request. I have over a 100 "friends" on fbook, 3/4's I don't talk to regularly it's not that big of a deal.

 

[Cowabungaa]

Well you have her name right? So check out fbook, friend her, that's usually the first thing I do when I meet someone new.

I found her on facebook yeah, thing is, adding her right now would be...awkward, I think. Maybe once I've established contact.

So yeah, right now I'm figuring out what to send her without making it look all awkward. Harder than I thought it would be.

Your making yourself feel awkward about it, don't. Think about it like this, whats more awkward friending someone on fbook a couple weeks after you met them or striking up a conversation about manga and anime with someone who has never read or watched it?

I like anime, manga and videogames but I wouldn't go into a conversation about that with someone I just met of the opposite sex. You're probably weirder for thinking about what her reaction will be so much. You just friending her takes a lot of thought out of the situation, you don't have to think about what to say or what not to say, how to play off the "awkwardness" it's just a friend request. I have over a 100 "friends" on fbook, 3/4's I don't talk to regularly it's not that big of a deal.

Well I'm not much of a Facebook user anyway. For now I'm just trying to figure out what to send her. There should be something better to start with than "Heej I wondered if you got my email" right?

 

[artanis_neravar]

Well you have her name right? So check out fbook, friend her, that's usually the first thing I do when I meet someone new.

I found her on facebook yeah, thing is, adding her right now would be...awkward, I think. Maybe once I've established contact.

So yeah, right now I'm figuring out what to send her without making it look all awkward. Harder than I thought it would be.

Your making yourself feel awkward about it, don't. Think about it like this, whats more awkward friending someone on fbook a couple weeks after you met them or striking up a conversation about manga and anime with someone who has never read or watched it?

I like anime, manga and videogames but I wouldn't go into a conversation about that with someone I just met of the opposite sex. You're probably weirder for thinking about what her reaction will be so much. You just friending her takes a lot of thought out of the situation, you don't have to think about what to say or what not to say, how to play off the "awkwardness" it's just a friend request. I have over a 100 "friends" on fbook, 3/4's I don't talk to regularly it's not that big of a deal.

Well I'm not much of a Facebook user anyway. For now I'm just trying to figure out what to send her. There should be something better to start with than "Heej I wondered if you got my email" right?

Adding someone as a friend on facebook is only awkward if you have a romantic interest in them, and even then it's only awkward for you, chances are the other person either doesn't realize yet that you have that interest in her, she has the same interest in you, or she doesn't and she would have told you.
Generally, in my experience, it is most likely the first one possibly mixed with the second one, so adding her isn't going to seem weird to her at all

 

[phazaar]

You don't have anything to lose either way; it's not like's friends with all of your friends or the most popular girl in school or whatever. She's either gonna be in your life or not

If you really do need a good excuse though, try an invitation. Find something you think she'd be into (anime/manga conventions etc. by the sounds of things) and email her a link; if you want to make it less personal/desperate, CC it to a tonne of fake emails so it looks like you're just inviting all of your friends

 

[dmase]

snipped

Your over thinking things, listen to artanis's view. It's not as awkward as you think.

If she has a legitimate interest in you she'll accept it and it will be cool if she doesn't maybe, small percentage maybe she'll think your weird but then you know that she isn't interested.

When you send a friend request you can include a little message so say something like you went back to the shop and remembered some other suggestions she had for you.

 

[Cowabungaa]

Your over thinking things, listen to artanis's view. It's not as awkward as you think.

Hah, that's very much true. Still, I'm not a real Facebook user, so an invite on that is pretty much pointless anyway.

Leaves the problem with that email, how to start it? Am I too over-thinking that? That "Heej did you get my email?" really isn't such an odd thing to ask?

 

[dmase]

Your over thinking things, listen to artanis's view. It's not as awkward as you think.

Hah, that's very much true. Still, I'm not a real Facebook user, so an invite on that is pretty much pointless anyway.

Leaves the problem with that email, how to start it? Am I too over-thinking that? That "Heej did you get my email?" really isn't such an odd thing to ask?

Decide whether you want to pretend the other email never happened (she didn't get it) or if you ask if she got your email your assuming that she saw it and ignored it or never read it. Sounds contradictory but if she never got your email then there is no harm in sending the same email again. If she did get it and forgot about it or chose to ignore it then did you get my email would be appropriate... but useless. So it's kind of like your sending her an email for the first time, if that makes you feel better.

 

[Cowabungaa]

Decide whether you want to pretend the other email never happened (she didn't get it) or if you ask if she got your email your assuming that she saw it and ignored it or never read it. Sounds contradictory but if she never got your email then there is no harm in sending the same email again. If she did get it and forgot about it or chose to ignore it then did you get my email would be appropriate... but useless. So it's kind of like your sending her an email for the first time, if that makes you feel better.

Now that is infallible logic. All right, I'll just pretend the first email never happened. I'll have to rewrite it a bit, seeing as I've almost finished her anime suggestions, but yeah you're completely right.