Losing a friend

[Whateveralot]

Dear fellow Escapists,

A little over 3 years ago I had a girlfriend. Long story short, she was overly attached [http://royreid.ca/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/overly_attached_girlfriend_hilarious_meme_640_03.jpg]. Because of that, I have a lot of friends and she nearly forced me to break with my family. I eventually broke up with her. That was two years ago, releasing me for a state I can only recall as nearly depressed.

Through her, I met a new friend which since that time was my best friend. However, something came in between. My overly attached ex-girlfriend. They started seeing each other. Since that happened, I started seeing him less and less. He's basically been ignoring me for the past 4 months; either not responding to my texts (as he's too busy) or failing to see me. Ever.

It's petty sad, but I called him out for that multiple times along the way, but it kept dwindling downwards further and further. Me and most of my other friends got pretty annoyed by that, until last week. I was tired of it and I set up the break.

I don't think we want to be friends any more. It felt a lot like breaking up though; it felt like I was outside of myself, watching my body do this abnormal thing. It's like autopilot is taking over to "do the most needful thing".


What would you have done in my position, or have you ever responded to a situation like this? How did you respond?


Captcha keeps amazing me. It reads minds. "pipe down"

 

[Zykon TheLich_v1legacy]

What would you have done in my position, or have you ever responded to a situation like this? How did you respond?

If they're not going to bother come round and do stuff with you or at least meet up and talk once in a while just don't bother contacting them, no need for a "break" or anything like that.

 

[Esotera]

I wouldn't have bothered with the break at all, just ignored him for the lifespan of this relationship, and buy him a beer with a big fat "I told you so" after it's over.

 

[taylorton147]

i have a theory thats she is simply looking for your downfall, ignore him, see what happens.

 

[Fatboy_41]

Same thing has happen in my group of friends. One mate gets a missus, gets smitten and decides that she is more important than his mates of years. Now, I won't hold that against him at all. When I was with my ex, she was the world to me. The difference being I never forgot my mates. They're the guys that were there when things weren't going well, and will always have a cold beer should you need one.

After multiple attempts to get him to come out with the boys again, or even just join in a gym session, we've pretty much come to the point where if he should even need a hand, we'll be the first ones there. But other than that, there isn't really any friendship left.

Essentially, he made this choice. It's no real skin off our teeth. That's pretty much my advice too.

 

[Whateveralot]

Well, about the break. I would never intend such a thing if it weren't for the better. It might be a bit harsh, though, but he's been ignoring the warnings he's been given. Next to that, his precense anywhere degraded from being good fun to a complainer (stuff like: "no I don't want to go there, it's boring", "no, I'm tired". His girlfriend is even worse. He was the only reason she was still around.

He knows of the friends that I've lost when I was with her. I just hope he gets the message.

If not, his problem. At least it no longer bothers me now.

i have a theory thats she is simply looking for your downfall, ignore him, see what happens.

Honestly? I'm pretty sure she is. I don't fit into her image of perfection. The two of 'em only ever visit her friends, you see.

Latest reports indicate that when she picked up on the argument between him and me, she was reduced to a crying [http://img.rtvslo.si/upload/zabava/cruise_8_show.jpg] mess [http://givesgoodemail.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/cruise.png?w=640].

When I was with my ex, she was the world to me. The difference being I never forgot my mates.

THAT's it. That's how you're supposed to do that. Your girlfriend shouldn't come in the way of your social life. Of course you'll be spending time with her, but she should want you to have your own life.

 

[Zhukov]

You can't just, y'know, let it go?

Friends aren't exclusive. You don't need to 'officially' break up.

It's completely normal for someone to spend less time with their friends after getting a new partner. Even more so in your somewhat awkward situation.