Love?

[New Frontiersman]

So, I was thinking earlier and wondering what it might feel like to fall in love. And having no where else to turn, I thought I'd ask here about it.

So, have any of you ever fallen in love? If so what was it like? If you haven't fallen in love what do you think love is like?

As I was thinking about that it started leading to some other love related things so I thought I might as well see what people think about those as well:
Do you think that falling in love is instantaneous, a sort of "love at first sight" feeling or do you think that love developed over time over the course of a relationship or a lifetime? If the second one is it that you fall in love over the course of a relationship or do you just realize that that was the person you loved the whole time?
Do you think that every person has a "true love" and can only that person, or can we fall in and out of love with different people over the course of our lives?
Can you fall out of love? Or, if you "fell out of it" does that just mean it wasn't really love in the first place?
Can you be in love with more than one person at once? So, for instance could a person in a polyamorous relationship really be in love with multiple people?
And just to be controversial: do you think that an two people of the same gender can fall in love?
Also, if you have any other thoughts about love that you'd like to share I'd love to hear them. I'm just curious what other people think and why, and I'd like to hear about other people's thoughts and experiences.

As for me, I've never fallen in love, I hope to someday though. I've had crushes, but I don't think that's the same thing. I think that love is developed over time in a relationship and doesn't just happen. And I do think people can fall in and out of love and love different people over the course of their lives. I don't know if it's possible for a person to be in love with more than one person at the same time, but I do think that two people of the same gender can fall in love.
But that's just me, what do you guys think?

 

[Eddie the head]

I have nothing much to say but I am beating in the first page the song "What is love" is going to be linked.

A little more on topic I am that forever alone type so. I don't know.

 

[Drakane]

I will get to what feeling in love is in a second, I will address your follow up points first:

Do you think that falling in love is instantaneous, a sort of "love at first sight" feeling or do you think that love developed over time over the course of a relationship or a lifetime? If the second one is it that you fall in love over the course of a relationship or do you just realize that that was the person you loved the whole time?

Instantaneous love is called lust, if you look at someone and go... I want to spend the rest of my life with them, it is a physical attraction nothing more.

Do you think that every person has a "true love" and can only that person, or can we fall in and out of love with different people over the course of our lives?

A comedian said it best... I'd quote them if I could but I don't remember who they were... and people fall within a bell curve. Though we are all unique and different, there are a lot of people in this wide world that are very similar in their unique difference-ness. So though there maybe 1 person that is 100% exactly what you want, there is a large populous that is 90% exactly what you want... and even lower percentages that you can be fully in love with.

Can you fall out of love? Or, if you "fell out of it" does that just mean it wasn't really love in the first place?

Yes you can fall out of love. Love isn't stagnate. During a period in you life, the person you were with was everything you wanted them to be and more: but as situations change, ideals change, wants in life, general personalities, etc. The person YOU love is no longer the person they are. Also, you can find out they are two timing, cheating, thieving fuck bags, and though you loved the person you thought them to be, you don't love who they are. Its a hard transition but it happens.

Can you be in love with more than one person at once? So, for instance could a person in a polyamorous relationship really be in love with multiple people?

Absolutely, everyone has character flaws and no one loves 100% of the person they are with. It is feasible to find 10 people that are similar but different and each unique trait makes you love them in a different way then another.

And just to be controversial: do you think that an two people of the same gender can fall in love?

To me, asking if people of a different sex can love each other is the same as asking if people of a different race, or age can love each other. The answer has to be yes, love is an emotion.

As for have I fallen in love: yes, most recently I was dumped by a girl I love about 3 weeks ago and am still dealing with all that fun. I should note, we'd had a long distance relationship for about 2 years of the almost 5 so my idea is a bit jaded towards that perspective.

Love is: Waking up wanting to know how the other person is doing. Wanting to know everything is ok. Wanting to know how there day went, when you will see them again. Wanting to make the bad things go away and enjoy the good things in each other lives. When around them, smiling that they are next to you when you fall asleep and smiling that they are the first thing you see in the morning. It is knowing that no matter how shit things go in life you have someone to talk to and confide in, who wants to help you as much as you can help them. It is sitting around doing nothing and smiling because you are with them and that is all you really want to be doing. I could go on... but can't currently lol.

Unfortunately there is love of the head and love of the heart. My ex and I still love each other emotionally, but logically it just doesn't work. We want different things in life so in the long run it would have deteriorated and one of us would have never really gotten what we want out of life, that is love of the head. I will stop now before I make it to personal

 

[Sehnsucht Engel]

I think that love can be both, but if it's instantaneous it's much more about physical attraction than the personality.

I don't think there's just one true love, maybe there's a few people like that. Some people stay with their first love for the rest of their lives, while others change often.

I think you can fall out of love, people change or maybe something about them just start to annoy you more.

No, I don't think it's possible to be in love with more than one person.

Of course people of the same gender can fall in love...

I've never really fallen in love myself. I've mostly had short relationships or crushes, but nothing I'd consider that serious. I haven't found anyone messed up enough yet. XD

Captcha: Sandy beach. Sounds nice >_>

 

[Kolby Jack]

I have nothing much to say but I am beating in the first page the song "What is love" is going to be linked.

A little more on topic I am that forever alone type so. I don't know.

ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE!!


Anyway, never been in love myself. I've had crushes before, mostly when I was a pubescent teenager, but I've never pursued a relationship or been in love. As such, I couldn't even begin to tell you what it's like, but I am somewhat curious just like you, TC. Curiosity doesn't mean I have a longing for it though. I'm pretty gosh darn content with my life and at this point in time I'm not seeking to make any dramatic changes to it. If it happens, it happens, but so far I can live without it.

 

[NinjaSniperAssassin]

I have nothing much to say but I am beating in the first page the song "What is love" is going to be linked.

A little more on topic I am that forever alone type so. I don't know.

If you insist:

EDIT: Ninja'd. Damn, and here I thought I was so clever and original.

OT: I fall in love every day. One of the perks of having a full-length mirror on the wall opposite my bed.

But in all seriousness, no. I tend to be pretty picky in every aspect of life and doubly so with women, and every time I finally find one I'm interested in she's already taken. And before anyone brings it up, I find out about their boyfriends through third parties before even getting the chance to ask them out so no, they aren't just rejecting me nicely. I guess that's the problem with being interested solely in committed relationship types; they're all in committed relationships.

 

[eimatshya]

I don't believe in love at first sight. I think love is something that developes over time. The only girl I've ever loved tooke a while for me to warm to. I didn't think much of her at first, but my feelings developed over time.

Your question about falling out of love is interesting to me, as I've wondered that myself. Even though the girl in question and I have been broken up for many years now, I still do love her. I don't want to spend time with her anymore, as we don't get along very well any more, but when I think of her I still remember her with the same depth of feeling that I had when we were together. So I guess it's possible to still love someone without particularly likeing them, oddly enough.

As I only have that one experience with love (I've had plenty of crushes and even some blinding enfatuations, but only that one love), I'm certainly not an authority on the subject, however, so my comments may not be particularly insightful.

 

[EeveeElectro]

Everyone is going to have a different and viewpoint opinion on this.

Love to me is knowing there's always someone who's thinking about me and always has my back. It's missing them with the same intensity than if you go 15 minutes or 15 days without seeing them. It's waking up and after giving your head a wobble, you smile and think "it's another day that I'm happy because I have them."
It's knowing you have stability and that someone will do anything to make you happy.
It's being happy when you see them, it's the stupid smile you get on your face when they walk up to you and the butterflies in your tummy. It's seeing their dark side and showing them yours and both of you accepting it.
It's helping each other through the tough times and realising it won't all be sunshine and rainbows. For my fella it's him realising I can be the moodiest ***** or the sweetest angel and knowing what to say to me.
It's knowing the tiniest details like how they take their tea, how they like their toast, what vegetables they don't eat, what their favourite colour to wear is, where they're ticklish, what pisses them off...

It's knowing my boyfriend is also my best friend and I don't know how to thank him for helping me out of a terrible relationship whilst building my confidence back up.



Do you think that falling in love is instantaneous, a sort of "love at first sight" feeling or do you think that love developed over time over the course of a relationship or a lifetime? If the second one is it that you fall in love over the course of a relationship or do you just realize that that was the person you loved the whole time

I don't believe in love at first sight. Love is something that takes time to develop but you can have powerful emotional surges the first time you meet someone. A combination of lust, excitement, nerves, happiness. The very first time I kissed my boyfriend I felt my knees go weak which had never happened with anyone else I had kissed. Despite having a bus full of people staring at us, I knew I didn't want to kiss anyone but him ever again.

Do you think that every person has a "true love" and can only that person, or can we fall in and out of love with different people over the course of our lives?

Most people look through rose tinted glasses when they're in a relationship. With all my past boyfriends I've thought "Wow! He's absolutely perfect! I want to marry him!" then slowly over time, one of them turned abusive and three of them started to completely neglect me. At the time they might seem perfect but you'll eventually look back and think 'oh god, why?'
It's better to not rush in and start making grand plans until you're completely confident you want to stay together. Live together for a bit before you decide anything. If you can live with someone and not go ballistic when they leave their dirty pants on the bathroom floor, you're doing good. If I'm not mistaken, after 4 months romantic love sets in. After a year and a half or so all the FUCK YEAAAH emotions should die down and if you haven't killed each other, you're in for the long run.

Can you fall out of love? Or, if you "fell out of it" does that just mean it wasn't really love in the first place?

Yes you can, and just because you fell out of it doesn't invalidate the feelings you had before. It's hard to see it from your partners view if they've fallen out of love.
"I still love them, why don't they love me?" and they won't believe it can happen because they don't feel it themselves.
It's not a case of "I think this guy is hotter" it's many different things. I've loved someone but not been in love with them. The relationship goes stale and rocky very quickly when that's the case.

The worst thing is forcing yourself to stop loving someone. Fairly recently I've had to do that because I realised he didn't love me and we were going nowhere. Emotionally, it was probably the second most painful thing I've been through.
It's achievable but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't hard. Waking up and finally thinking "I couldn't give a fuck if he got hit by a bus" was a good feeling. I have violent thoughts sometimes

Can you be in love with more than one person at once? So, for instance could a person in a polyamorous relationship really be in love with multiple people?

Me personally, no. In the past I've lusted after people while loving someone else but I'll always love one person much more than the other.

And just to be controversial: do you think that an two people of the same gender can fall in love?

I won't even entertain that with a proper response. Anyone who thinks not is ignorant.

EDIT: Bit of an essay there, sorry!

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

Of my relationships there was one that I definitely feel like was love. I'm not going to try and explain what it felt like because I don't want to sound incredibly silly (but I think the fact that I would sound silly says enough). I vaguely knew her for a while, so no, not love at first sight. Although I think you're likely to fall in love when you first get to know someone (and have 'the talk'), unless you or they change. I don't see how you could truly love someone without getting to know them well.

The idea of having one true love just sounds silly to me. I guess you could fall in love with two people at the same time, but it would be an odd situation. And yeah, you can fall out of love- as I said, people change, it doesn't mean it wasn't love.

I'm sure people can fall in love with someone of the same sex, but I can't say it's anything I've ever had any kind of experience with or inclination for. There's a physical aspect to love, and guys just don't do it for me.

 

[Quaxar]

Do you think that every person has a "true love" and can only that person, or can we fall in and out of love with different people over the course of our lives?

http://www.bugmartini.com/comics/2010-03-29-Soulmate.gif

Can you fall out of love? Or, if you "fell out of it" does that just mean it wasn't really love in the first place?

I once fell out of the boat in a love tunnel. Does that count?

And just to be controversial: do you think that two people of the same gender can fall in love?

Nah, those pesky gays just pretend that they can so they are able to force their agenda into our marriage!
There you go, some free controversy for you.

 

[ItouKaiji]

Like most everyone else that's posted I don't believe in love at first sight. It takes time to truly love someone, before you can really love someone you need to get past that first impressions stage and to the point where you're comfortable enough to show your true self, the person you really are when you're comfortable, and you need to see theirs. And after you've seen that and you still want to spend all your time with that person, that the thought of that person's smile still makes your heart flutter a bit, that's when you're in love.

And being in love for me is the greatest feeling. There have been some great answers already and I think they capture a lot of it but there's even more. I love my girl, I want to be with her all the time, I want to be there to share all the moments good and bad. But more than that I want to be my best self for her. I want to improve my situation in life so I can better share it with her. I want to work harder, I want to take care of myself better, I want to do everything I can to make our quality of life together better. When I wake up the world feels brighter because I have her in my life, I feel like I have a true partner in life so I don't have to go through it alone. I miss her when we're apart, but I always think of her. Whatever I do, I wonder what she'd say about it, what she'd do if she were there with so even when we're apart, I feel like we're still together in some ways, because she's the same, she's always on some part of my mind and I'm always on some part of her mind. It's nice that feeling that there is someone that never forgets about me.

I do indeed believe it's possible to fall out of love. I mean some part of those feelings are always going to be there, but it's possible to love someone without being in love with them, and that's when the relationship fades. Sometimes people just drift apart, it can be sad, but in the end it's better than trying to force things. Instead just remember when the love was good and try not to leave with bitter feelings or force that in love feeling to come back.

And of course two people of the same sex can fall in love. There's no questioning that.

I don't think you can really be IN LOVE with two people at once. You can love more than one person but you can only be truly in love with one person at a time. The feeling is just too strong and intense of a feeling, you get so wrapped up in it that it would just be impossible to have more than one person you feel all that for. Or that's how I think.

 

[Aedes]

I'll try to keep this short and break the questions so I can answer them one at a time.
Also, all answers comes from personal experience. I know it's redundant to say that but I just wanna make sure no one points at me like I'm telling the ultimate truth of life, the universe and everything within.

So, have any of you ever fallen in love? If so what was it like? If you haven't fallen in love what do you think love is like?

Yes, twice. First time I was at my teens. Second time was abooout a year ago, more or less.
Now, what was it like? Geez... tough question. Not sure how to describe. It's a nice feeling, and kinda weird. Just the presence of the person makes you feel better. I don't know how to describe beyond that but then again, it's late and I'm not thinking all that straight at the moment.

Do you think that falling in love is instantaneous, a sort of "love at first sight" feeling or do you think that love developed over time over the course of a relationship or a lifetime? If the second one is it that you fall in love over the course of a relationship or do you just realize that that was the person you loved the whole time?

You can get horny at first sight. Love takes some more work and time to develop as you learn more about the person. All those little things you find out about them molds their personality. And then, you just find yourself smiling like a dumb clown whenever they're around.

Do you think that every person has a "true love" and can only that person, or can we fall in and out of love with different people over the course of our lives?

Like a soul mate? Not really, no. We might never find the "one and only" as that's more an utopian dream than anything but it's sure more likely to find someone who, although lacking in some areas, you can live with it. And there's a ton of people like that.

Can you fall out of love? Or, if you "fell out of it" does that just mean it wasn't really love in the first place?

People change. So does our view of the loved person. I think that's kinda sad but that is just how life works.

Can you be in love with more than one person at once? So, for instance could a person in a polyamorous relationship really be in love with multiple people?

Maybe. It's a hard concept for me to grasp since I can't imagine myself in such situation.
Nothing is actually stopping you to love all the different quirks from different persons though so who knows.

And just to be controversial: do you think that an two people of the same gender can fall in love?

Not sure how this is controversial but nonetheless, yes. I fail to see why gender would be a barrier for love.

Also, if you have any other thoughts about love that you'd like to share I'd love to hear them. I'm just curious what other people think and why, and I'd like to hear about other people's thoughts and experiences.

Well, what there is to add? It's an amazing feeling when reciprocated but can hurt as much as an invisible sword stabbing through your heart if not. I like to think it's something we're all bound to find someday because once you tasted some of it, it's hard to continue without.
I always remember of a poem when I think about love. The last lines can be roughly translated as such:

"I can tell the love (I had):
That is not immortal, since it is flame
But let it be infinite while it lasts."
--Vinicius de Moraes

PS: I failed to keep this small. Sorry... :<

 

[Extra-Ordinary]

Let me just start by saying that it's different for every person.
Yes, there may be a lot of people saying the same story of how love develops but that doesn't mean everybody has that story.
That being said, here's my personal opinion:

I've felt infatuation once, which I believe is the proper term for love at first sight. Problem with it though is that if you feel it the instant you see a person, it's probably not going to work. If you get to know them and they really turn out to be that special someone, hey, congratulations, but more than likely they're not that person. On the plus side though, if they're not that special someone, the infatuation evaporates pretty quickly.
After that, I was aware of this wondrous feeling and said to myself
"Okay, that is what I want to feel, but it needs to develop into it, not just start off that like that."
The second time I felt what I assume was love (I say "assume" because love and attraction are difficult to identify and tell apart) was this girl in college. Long story short, she was moving away the following quarter (and looking back on it, I probably should have picked up that she wasn't interested) so that didn't work out either.
As to how I define love, I define it as an absolute need to be with a person. You want to make them happy in any way you can and, I don't know, you just want to make them yours. I know this sort of looks like a blind, almost aggressive, zealousness, and maybe it is, but the way I see it, if I'm not 100% dedicated to them then what's the point?

That's what I think, take it or leave it.
Like I said, not everybody has the same story so maybe this is yours, maybe it isn't, but this one is definitely mine.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Whatever love is:

-It's not instantaneous.
-There is no One True Love.
-You fell in, you can fall out.
-I don't know if you can love two people at the same time.
-People of the same sex loving each other? Duh.

 

[Hero of Lime]

For some quick answers:

Love at first sight: I would say no, mostly that would be attraction/lust more than anything. Relationships rarely start off the bat, it takes time(or at least it should) before you can tell someone with certainty "I love you."

True Love: I think so, it's hard to find of course, but whenever I hear of a couple married for 40 plus years, I would call that true love.

Fall out of love: Since every relationship/marriage doesn't work out despite previously being unbreakable, yes it sadly can happen because people change with time.

Have I fallen in love? I would say yes. While I don't have a clear definition of what love is, I've met someone who I know I could spend the rest of my life with. Someone I would want to share all the good and bad life has to offer. Of course things don't always work out(as in I haven't seen her in awhile), but if she is the same person as I remember, I would still love to be with her, even if I've moved on.

 

[Ratties]

I have nothing much to say but I am beating in the first page the song "What is love" is going to be linked.

A little more on topic I am that forever alone type so. I don't know.

If you insist:

EDIT: Ninja'd. Damn, and here I thought I was so clever and original.

OT: I fall in love every day. One of the perks of having a full-length mirror on the wall opposite my bed.

But in all seriousness, no. I tend to be pretty picky in every aspect of life and doubly so with women, and every time I finally find one I'm interested in she's already taken. And before anyone brings it up, I find out about their boyfriends through third parties before even getting the chance to ask them out so no, they aren't just rejecting me nicely. I guess that's the problem with being interested solely in committed relationship types; they're all in committed relationships.

I have nothing much to say but I am beating in the first page the song "What is love" is going to be linked.

A little more on topic I am that forever alone type so. I don't know.

ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE!!


Anyway, never been in love myself. I've had crushes before, mostly when I was a pubescent teenager, but I've never pursued a relationship or been in love. As such, I couldn't even begin to tell you what it's like, but I am somewhat curious just like you, TC. Curiosity doesn't mean I have a longing for it though. I'm pretty gosh darn content with my life and at this point in time I'm not seeking to make any dramatic changes to it. If it happens, it happens, but so far I can live without it.

You can always rely on people to be predictable with bad comedy. I used to be confused as to why comedians even had a job, until you realize that most people are not funny.

 

[ZZoMBiE13]

As people grow they change. So too does their understanding of the term love. When I was a younger man, "love" wasn't a concept I understood. It's easy to confuse it with infatuation. As you grow, marry, divorce, your perception of it is constantly changing.

For the longest time, I just figured I had done the whole "love" thing when I was younger, and fucked it up. So I was resigned to happily live alone raising my daughter.

Of course the minute you think you've got a handle on things, that is when the universe or fate or God or whatever you want to call it will throw you a curveball. At 40 I got back in touch with an old girlfriend from high school of all places and we've been dating for many months. I love her more than I thought I could love another person and in ways I never did with my X-wife or any of the girls before or between. It's love born out of respect and admiration. Out of embracing the things we have in common and the differences between us. We are alike enough to have that spark, but different enough to keep things interesting.

Love, as a concept, isn't a destination. It's the journey and the experience that matter. I know that sounds cliche, and it is, but it's also pretty much the truth. At least from my perspective.

 

[Kolby Jack]

I have nothing much to say but I am beating in the first page the song "What is love" is going to be linked.

A little more on topic I am that forever alone type so. I don't know.

If you insist:

EDIT: Ninja'd. Damn, and here I thought I was so clever and original.

OT: I fall in love every day. One of the perks of having a full-length mirror on the wall opposite my bed.

But in all seriousness, no. I tend to be pretty picky in every aspect of life and doubly so with women, and every time I finally find one I'm interested in she's already taken. And before anyone brings it up, I find out about their boyfriends through third parties before even getting the chance to ask them out so no, they aren't just rejecting me nicely. I guess that's the problem with being interested solely in committed relationship types; they're all in committed relationships.

I have nothing much to say but I am beating in the first page the song "What is love" is going to be linked.

A little more on topic I am that forever alone type so. I don't know.

ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE!!


Anyway, never been in love myself. I've had crushes before, mostly when I was a pubescent teenager, but I've never pursued a relationship or been in love. As such, I couldn't even begin to tell you what it's like, but I am somewhat curious just like you, TC. Curiosity doesn't mean I have a longing for it though. I'm pretty gosh darn content with my life and at this point in time I'm not seeking to make any dramatic changes to it. If it happens, it happens, but so far I can live without it.

You can always rely on people to be predictable with bad comedy. I used to be confused as to why comedians even had a job, until you realize that most people are not funny.

Uh, scuse me, bro, why was my post quoted second? I posted that first. Suck it, Ninja.

Also, there is no such thing as bad comedy. But there is such a thing as dudes who take forum posts on the internet too seriously.

 

[Ratties]

I have nothing much to say but I am beating in the first page the song "What is love" is going to be linked.

A little more on topic I am that forever alone type so. I don't know.

If you insist:

EDIT: Ninja'd. Damn, and here I thought I was so clever and original.

OT: I fall in love every day. One of the perks of having a full-length mirror on the wall opposite my bed.

But in all seriousness, no. I tend to be pretty picky in every aspect of life and doubly so with women, and every time I finally find one I'm interested in she's already taken. And before anyone brings it up, I find out about their boyfriends through third parties before even getting the chance to ask them out so no, they aren't just rejecting me nicely. I guess that's the problem with being interested solely in committed relationship types; they're all in committed relationships.

I have nothing much to say but I am beating in the first page the song "What is love" is going to be linked.

A little more on topic I am that forever alone type so. I don't know.

ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE!!


Anyway, never been in love myself. I've had crushes before, mostly when I was a pubescent teenager, but I've never pursued a relationship or been in love. As such, I couldn't even begin to tell you what it's like, but I am somewhat curious just like you, TC. Curiosity doesn't mean I have a longing for it though. I'm pretty gosh darn content with my life and at this point in time I'm not seeking to make any dramatic changes to it. If it happens, it happens, but so far I can live without it.

You can always rely on people to be predictable with bad comedy. I used to be confused as to why comedians even had a job, until you realize that most people are not funny.

Uh, scuse me, bro, why was my post quoted second? I posted that first. Suck it, Ninja.

Also, there is no such thing as bad comedy. But there is such a thing as dudes who take forum posts on the internet too seriously.

Yes there is such a thing as bad comedy. If there wasn't, then everybody and their brother would have a shot at being a stand up comedian. Yeah I don't take it seriously. I hate predictable humor.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

Do you think that falling in love is instantaneous, a sort of "love at first sight" feeling or do you think that love developed over time over the course of a relationship or a lifetime? If the second one is it that you fall in love over the course of a relationship or do you just realize that that was the person you loved the whole time?

Not even during my hormone addled high school days did I ever experience a "love at first sight" situation. I'm fairly certain that's just a literary device.

For me, love has generally grown out of friendships. Sometimes it happens quickly - my spouse were in love within a week after we started dating. Of course, we'd been friends for four years before that, and best friends for two years, so when the romance was added in, we already knew each other very well. Actually, during that first week we weren't sure if we wanted to be "dating" or "friends with benefits". We discussed both. But love came upon us fairly quickly. We just felt so damn "right" together.

Do you think that every person has a "true love" and can only that person, or can we fall in and out of love with different people over the course of our lives?

No, I don't believe in a "one true love". Love isn't fated - it's something you make. And you can make it with more than one person.

A friend of mine used this "equation" to explain love, and I've always found it to be accurate to my own feelings. It goes like this:

Like + Lust + Trust = Love

As my spouse and I were best friends first, we already had a lot of like and trust going on. When we added in the lust, it all just sort of clicked.

Can you fall out of love? Or, if you "fell out of it" does that just mean it wasn't really love in the first place?

Yes, you can fall out of it. Love relies on a lot of things to be maintained, and if one (or more) of those things breaks, then the love breaks. Hence being broken hearted. It isn't even anyone's fault, sometimes.

I've been in love several times. But love is an emotion - it isn't a "thing" that exists. It's a feeling. And feelings can change. As far as my past loves go, I'm still close friends with two of them. Another I can't stand. And another, I wouldn't mind being friends with, but the idea of reconnecting hurts too much. And another I just fell out of touch with and have no idea where he is or what he's doing now. How I felt about those people changed.

Can you be in love with more than one person at once? So, for instance could a person in a polyamorous relationship really be in love with multiple people?

I answered this above, but yes. And yes. My spouse and I would love to enter into a polyamorous relationship - if we could find someone compatible. So far, the trouble has been a missing variable in the equation above.

We had someone we liked and lusted for, but it turned out we couldn't trust that person.

In another case, we had someone we lusted for and trusted, but... we just didn't like them enough. Hot and a very nice person, but just sort of... irritating to have around after a while. Also kinda dumb.

And finally, there was this other couple, but aside from the fact that they weren't interested in polyamory, there wasn't a lot of prolonged lust on our end. We like them (still friends) and we trust them, but... well, the fourway was fun, but it wasn't anything to write home about. They're kinda boring in bed. So... no lust.

I realize not everyone is onboard with the three leg equation for love, but like I said before, it has always worked for me personally.

And just to be controversial: do you think that an two people of the same gender can fall in love?

I'm not sure why this is even a question. Of course. I wouldn't call this controversial - it's fairly accepted that same-sex couples are in love even with people who dislike it (unless you're talking about the real crazies, but yeesh).

I mentioned five or six people I've been in love with above. It is around a 50/50 split between men and women (I'm female, in case it wasn't obvious/you didn't look at my profile).

Anyway, now that I've finished answering your question....

When I read your OP, I thought you were much younger than you actually are. If felt like you were putting love up on a pedestal as something magical or unique. And, don't get me wrong, love is pretty fucking awesome. But, as awesome as it is, it is still just an emotion. What makes it different than other emotions is its connectivity. We're a social animal - love is something we need to feel. Not necessarily romantic love, but that deep emotional bond with another human is intrinsic to our genetic makeup.

My point is, while love is pretty great, it still operates like any other emotion. You wouldn't go around asking if people believed that it was only possible to like one flavor of ice cream. There is no "one true" flavor that you are destined to like above all others. Sure, maybe you have a favorite - but if you try a new flavor and like it better, then suddenly you have a new favorite. There's nothing destined about it - it's just how you happen to feel at the moment.

Also, for the people who inevitably attempt to dismiss love as "just a chemical in the brain" - all human thought is just chemical and electric reactions in the brain. That doesn't make it any less special, valuable, or unique.