Machine of Death

[Broken Orange]

We've done it. We have created a machine that can tell you how you can die. All we need is just a small blood sample and then the MoD will print out a small card that will tell you how you will die. It can say anything from DROWNED,CANCER, or CHOKED ON A HANDFUL OF POPCORN. Granted, it won't tell you when, and in all honestly is quite vague in its answer. While a card that says OLD AGE might seem like an ideal card, it could actually mean that you will get run over a elderly person who lost control of their car. NATURAL CAUSES? A Kola falling out of a tree. While the answers might not be detailed, different machines always print out the same answer. They were, at least, consistent.

The name of the game is "Machine of Death" and here are the rules. You stick you hand in the hole in the machine and the machine will take a sample of blood. After a brief testing, a white card with black block letters pops out with what will kill you. The first person comes up with a word or short phrase, for example: Reindeer, Explosion, or Falling. Then the next person will explain how you will die.

Here is an example to get it starting...

Person above me died when he was watching Caddy shack.

Suicide

A man, trying to kill himself by jumping of a building, lands right on top of you.

Torn apart by toddlers

Do you get it? feel free to be as elaborate or simple as you want to. To keep the ninja-ing to a minimum, quote the person whose fate you are deciding.

Inspired by the anthology of short stories, Machine of Death [http://machineofdeath.net/a/about]

I'l start us off.

{Pretzel}​

 

[Fury Is Me.]

I swallow one whole and choke to death.

{Flandre Scarlet}​

(Flandre= Insane vampire girl who can destroy anything at will.)

 

[I Am Donut]

You get killed by whoever the fuck Flandre Scarlet is.

{Piano}

 

[Broken Orange]

Ever since you got the card saying that you will die by a piano, you spend all of your time avoiding piano.But one day at a piano-less bar, You were changing the tracks on a jukebox, playing "Great Balls of Fire", to something else. During the piano solo, there was a surge of electricity due to an explosion at the nearby power plant and the jukebox explodes.

See how vague you can be?

{The Escapist}​

 

[Broken Orange]

Please don't let this die too early.

 

[Fury Is Me.]

I'm on the escapist when suddenly, my room fills with carbon monoxide and I can't detect it because I'm too busy posting on the escapist.

{Yakumo Yukari}​

 

[spartan1077]

You are researching Yakumo Yukari for a school project when finally you look up and think to yourself
Who is this person?
Before an alien comes in and vaporizes you.

{Family Ties}​

 

[Icarion (aka Stockholm)]

You get a mysterious letter from your great-great-great-great-great grandfather and you open it only to discover its covered in the Bubonic plague of which you die

{Floss}​

 

[spartan1077]

While walking on the beach you find a crab. You watch the crab waddle around and laugh at this creature. You and your friends start imitating the crab. Later you come across a whale that has been beached. You feel sad but your friends imitate it so you do too. A minute later you see a seagull with a broken wing. Once again you imitate it. As you and your friends order some hotdogs, one of your friends asks you for some floss. You reach in your pocket and a whale-crab-gull falls on you.

Hot girls​

 

[A Gent of Villainous Intent]

You were lit aflame by a woman with a flame thrower. {DUCK}

 

[spartan1077]

You got ninjaed!

OT:While playing extreme frisbee you see some geese landing beside you. In fear that they are ducks you run into your dorm. An hour later you start up duck hunt to kill those evil menaces and the dog jumps out, biting your head off.

Ninjas​

 

[Broken Orange]

You were driving down the road when you were distracted by a billboard for the hit movie, Ninja Assassin. Looking at the sign, you drive off a bridge, dying instantly.

{Tumblr}​

 

[A Gent of Villainous Intent]

You were killed by a gymnast.

{DRAGON}

 

[Fishtie]

Feeling brave tonight?
How brave?
Brave enough to do battle with hideous monsters?
Hm?
Brave enough to sneak around dank castles in the dark and chance being the next victim...
of a DRAGON STRIKE?

*Aparently yes. You have been incinerated by a dragon.*

{Mech}

 

[Fury Is Me.]

Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann accidentally drilled my galaxy apart while fighiting the Anti-Spiral.

{Aya Shameimaru}​

 

[deonte9109]

You are beaten to death after you beat the Touhou Project champion.

{Cthulu}

 

[TheRealCJ]

While trying to summon Chtulu, I accidentally slip on the chalk on my bathroom tiles and knock my head pretty hard on the bath.

{Australia}

 

[Venom 3135]

You decided not to go to australia, but stay at home. You decide to eat diner when suddenly a kangaroo comes in and boxes you to death.

{Awsomne}​

 

[TheRealCJ]

A while back, the UN developed a Bad-internet-spelling-seeking missile system, you declare it to be "Awesomne".

{Puns}

 

[deonte9109]

After drinking 5 cans of Powerthirst, you are so full of turbo puns that your heart stops.

{Batman}