Make your job title sound more epic than it is

[MirenBainesUSMC]

Loss Prevention Adjutant

* Cracks neck and poses in front of a mirror with over-the-top uniform accessories *

 

[Mithcha]

Fixer of all the shit you can't because you're too fucking dumb to work out how to a read a three page book.

...

more angry than epic. Meh.

The Fixer...maybe?

 

[IamLEAM1983]

I am... The Keeper of the Sacred Order, the Balance of the Sigils of Power and the Harmony of All That Is Seen.

I'm a copy editor.

 

[ABLb0y]

I am... The Organizer of knowledge!
(Actually a public library shelf tidier.)

 

[WhiteNachos]

I'm a proofreader. No change is needed. It doesn't get more epic than that.

I just realized that if I didn't know what a proofreader was I would assume that you worked as a research assistant, or that you judged entries in a math competition.

 

[ace_of_something]

I'm a Police Detective for Special Victims. (sexual based crimes)
I'm... Rape... Stopper... Guy?

I could just claim to be a Paladin.

 

[shootthebandit]

Lawyer in-training on a mission of self discovery and mastery of the laws.

How about "trainee spawn of satan"? Yeah lawyers arent the most popular profession

Fixer of all the shit you can't because you're too fucking dumb to work out how to a read a three page book.

...

more angry than epic. Meh.

The Fixer...maybe?

You dont need an epic job title when you can have an epic theme tune

 

[ExDeath730]

Lawyer in-training on a mission of self discovery and mastery of the laws.

How about "trainee spawn of satan"? Yeah lawyers arent the most popular profession

Since my friends liked to say that i was a demon since high school days ( lots of fights and manipulations ahoy against people i didn't like), if we go this way a most apt title would be: "hell spawn bidding his time to take over from Satan".

 

[Jingle Fett]

God, The Creator of Worlds.

I'm a one-man game developer and do all the programming and all the art myself. So that title isn't too inaccurate

 

[geK0]

I am a client relations specialist, treasurer and labor overseer for a fortune 500 corporation.

(I supervise front end at a Walmart, they call us "customer service managers" but we're not actually managers and we're paid the same as cashiers)

 

[lacktheknack]

I construct GPS tracking units that are used by trucking companies to see how fast their drivers are driving.

I install these devices in front of the drivers, hatred spewing from their every orifice.

I am: The Most Hated Man in Canada.

 

[loc978]

I'm formerly an attack helicopter armament tech, so I guess that could have been titled "The engineer of flying death"... nowadays a completely accurate title for me would read "Mercenary security specialist". My official title is actually just that minus the first word.

 

[Godhead]

I am currently training so I can live on top of a mountain with a whole bunch of other guys and look at the stars all night.

Wait a minute...

 

[viscomica]

I work for the local government and I translate legal documents to Spanish.

It's boring and I don't know how to make it sound epic. (I fail)

 

[geK0]

I construct GPS tracking units that are used by trucking companies to see how fast their drivers are driving.

I install these devices in front of the drivers, hatred spewing from their every orifice.

I am: The Most Hated Man in Canada.

That sounds oddly satisfying. Do you cackle evily while installing them?

 

[Vicarious Reality]

I am the joiner

I build doors and pillars of foundation out of magical plywood from brazil