making a mockery of the education system

[RetiarySword]

Just to say, I love these posts! Its getting to be as good as the work stoy thread 'the name escapes me'. Well, I will type later, but I have to get ready for a maths lecture now, and that 'x' Here it is might come in handy, as the lecture today is algebra and phyagorus therum!

Keep 'em coming guys!

 

[Vortigar]

I was 11, hadn't a care in the world and got one of those SAT type tests. I didn't feel like doing the tasks on the back of the paper and so just didn't.

Proved my math teacher wrong on a division sum when I was 8 years old and exclaimed "my teacher's an idiot" to my mom when I got back home.

Was told by my history teacher I should go into politics because I'd just spent 10 minutes talking about the topic at hand, making all kinds of valid points, without answering the actual questions.

 

[PxDn Ninja]

Three friends of mine and myself were teamed up for an economics project in high school. Our teacher, while cool, knew we would do whatever we could to make the assignment a joke, and had planned everything out.

The assignment was to design, and plan out, a business in our home town. We had to have a business plan, an ideal location, finance plans, and plans for beating our competition. He quickly added the following:

Nothing Illegal (No drug dealing, selling controlled substances without perscriptions or to minors)
Nothing Impossible (Mech construction or Time transportation)
The business has to be an established firm. Something that has existed before.
There has to be competition in town.

He figured this would prevent us from hitting any major thing. Sadly for him, the instant he stopped talking, we raised our hand to offer our choice (everyone had to mention what they were going to make). He called on us, and we, in all seriousness answered.

"We are going to design and open the hottest Strip Club in Paducah (my hometown)" He was visibly depressed, but not surprised. Best part is we ended up with an A+ on the assignment since we took it seriously enough to do the work, but lets face it, planning out what your requirements from your dancers are in form of body build and wages is always going to get you to do your homework.

 

[Stormcloud23]

hehe i got a good one. Last year, i got my entire english class to write "THIS IS SPARTA" in a random place on our final exams... (i put mine mid-sentence) "And so from reading this book THIS IS SPARTA we can see that humans are blah, blah, blah......"

 

[Andalusa]

Erm, the Geography teacher ran away to Brazil because of our whole class, then the History teacher joined her. And the new Astronomy teacher can't hear properly, seems to think 'Venus' and 'the Moon' sound the same.

 

[DeadpanLunatic]

I have removed my words from this site.

 

[NewClassic_v1legacy]

Someone invented the "No Child Left Behind" Act.

[/thread]

Please tell me what this act entails.

I'm interested.

Long answer [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_Child_Left_Behind_Act] would take a really freakin' long time to explain. In short, it is an act that does two things:
 1. Creates an achievable, measurable goal within the confines of the education system, specifically setting a minimum achievement       requirement for schools. This "measurable goal" is more often than not, test scores.
 2. Forces schools to pass out students home and contact information to the military for recruitment and Selective Service Registration.

The biggest issue with the "measurable goal" is the fact that it tends to make teachers teach for test-taking and common test material instead of, well, the material the classes are supposed to teach. It makes the schools focus less on learning, and more on test-taking. It's pretty universally accepted as a bad idea, at least in my experience. I also tend to agree that it's a bad idea, because I went through my later school years under this Act. I couldn't tell you much about Mark Twain, or Huckleberry Finn, but I can easily tell you that if you aren't nearing completion of a section on a standardized test, then simply fill in bubbles for the last minute of a test. There's a 25% chance that you'll be right, even if you don't read the question. Or that most of the time the answer is either B or C. Or perhaps that going with your gut instinct is 60-something% more likely to yield a right answer than changing your mind later on.

The second point is a lesser one, but still a little silly, considering you have to sign up if you're male and turning 18 anyway. Although it does give the military the chance to harass girls as well as guys. Let's hear it for equality, ladies and gentlemen.

TL;DR
Read the Wiki, it covers everything I did, but better, and more factually. Mine's mostly on opinion. Take of it what you will.

 

[Death Magnetic]

In a geography test I had a picture of a centre of a city with the caption "This is a centre of a city, prove how you know this". I put in the answer box "Because it says so in the caption". I got told off for being a smart ass.


In maths I would purposely pissed my teacher off by yelling the answer at the top of my voice straight away when ever she put a question on the board. I was told off for contributing and for being too good at maths.

I taught my physics teacher the difference between instantaneous speed and average speed after we did a test and he was giving out the wrong answers for questions. I made him sit down with me for 10 minutes while I taught him. He just let the class run wild while I showed him how was wrong but he just wouldn't want to admit it.

I recently walked out of an ICT class after calling my teacher "A fucking fat *****" and then climbed the fences seperating the school with the outside world and then went home. The funny thing is that she had to apoligise to me because she was in the wrong.

Last year my biology teacher went out of the class and I went up to her laptop that was connected to a projector that the whole class could see and I put porn of three old homo-sexual men showering together and being more than friendly to each other. Then I drew dicks on the remaining space of the board that it was being projected on. The site with the homo sexual threesome had a feature on it so the only way to get off it was by turning off the computer.

In the same lesson me and my friends hid phones all around the room then rung them all at the same time. After she found them all she didn't have a clue on how to turn them off so we made a deal she wouldn't confiscate them if we showed her how to turn them off.

I've made my tutor cry by kicking him in the balls.

I've been sent out out of a food tech lesson for eating too much of my ingredients and then calling my teacher "A fat *****" after she sent me out.

Suprisingly I've never been expelled or suspended and I was head boy for two years.

-Ricky

 

[Omnidum]

The students are a mockery to the education itself. Someone in ninth grade actually answered that Einstein invented the light bulb.

 

[InsanityBaronOfAtrocity]

This one isn't really anyone making a mockery of the system but it is related. My science teacher in secondary school (I'm english) was a bit of a crazy *****. One day during my final year there she lost it and clobbered this kiddie with a shoe, most amusing. She didn't get the sack..only a months suspension.


Oh! I have a another! For his french oral exam at GCSE my best mate told the examiner "I only speak french to god!" then he went on to list as many drugs as he could think of. The examiner called him a wanker and failed him. Ah how we still laugh about that.

 

[Iron Mal]

Just one thing, all of these (very funny) anecdotes are assuming that making a mockery of the education system is a hard thing to do...other than that, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.

I have two such tales to tell.

At the end of my final year studying GCSE Music (I'm not sure what the American equivilant would be) myself and about 12 people in my class were horrified to hear that all of our coursework had gone missing, I should also add that this occured about 2-4 days before it had to be sent off for marking. As a result, most of us had to compose and reccord two seperate and unique pieces of music and document the process we went through over the course of one weekend.

There were only three things that the computers in the ICT suite were used for in my old school:
1. Work in classes
2. Playing flash games
3. Looking at pornography (I did not indulge in this option by the way).

Really does raise the question of whether everyone should be entitled to an education, it's great for those who put the time and effort in but it's a colossal waste of time for those who'd rather be somewhere else (or would rather be playing games or jacking off). Not enough people appreciate it.

 

[HydraZulu]

Ooh, a few things (in no particular order):

9th grade math: I would sleep through the whole class, my friends would pile all my work on my desk, i'd wake up about 10 minutes from the end of the class, do all my work, turn it in, get my homework, and leave. I got all A's. My math teacher thought I was cheating, so gave me about 3 times as many tests as everybody else, which I, of course, passed. I didn't mind though, because the rule was, if you get a test that day, you don't get any homework.

9th grade everything: My teachers stopped calling on me because I would always correct them, and they were sick of getting embarrassed on a bi-hourly basis.
10th grade: I left the school I was in at 9th grade, and went to a charter school. The school was complete hell, with little extra bits of hell stapled on just to make us more miserable. The principle was embezzling money from the school, and the teachers weren't getting paid, which made them mean, although some of them were total assholes in the first place. I left that school at the end of that year, and the beginning of the next year, at my new school, I learn that the school lost my entire 10th grade records. I'm in 12th grade now, and am going to have to do an extra year of high school just because of that f*****g school. I almost feel like I could make a fairly reasonable case and sue them for emotional distress. I'm not in the mood, though, and haven't been for the past 2 years. I might get the urge to, and hopefully that happens before the statutory maximum expires.

Maybe more, if I think of some.

 

[Galletea]

I'd argue with my physics teachers over the reality of the theories they'd teach. we only made one cry though.

 

[savandicus]

I used to have competetions with some of my friends during written exam papers, the rules were simple, the person who could get the most ridiculous words/phrases into their exam answer with it still making perfect sense was the winner. Best i managed was hippopotumus in a physics paper and the phrase 'A student taking a general studies exam' into my general studies exam paper

 

[defcon 1]

In Grade 9 my english teacher, Mr Beck (fuck was he ever a sour ass bastard. One of those "I hate kids" types who didn't have the marks to get into university-level teaching and thus hated every single day of his life, stuck at the high-school level with his "I'm better than this" self-righteous pompous attitude)... ANYHOO.

One of Beck's assignments was to decypher the runic letters use on the map for our school-edition copies of the Hobbit, to see how much of the alphabet we could decode. I managed to figure the entire thing out, and when it came time to hand in our book reports, I did my entire assignment in the runic language, with a full alphabet decoding list included with my work.

100% for the book report, 100% for the decoding assignment, and a nice big letter telling me if I ever handed in another paper written in runic, he would strike both marks to a zero and kick me out of the class. Apparently, it took him the entire weekend to decipher the thing and thus only two other students got their marks on that following monday.

That's awesome! Had me laughing very hard.

In 10th grade, I had an extremely boring history class. I was sleeping in it every day. I don't exactly know how I passed it.

 

[TheBadass]

Man, my teachers hated what I did to them, and I loved it. Arrogance and being a smartass just about defined me in the later years, and I was just intelligent enough to make me think my ego was warranted. I'd always remark my test papers and point out why what they said was either subjective and therefore unlikely to help me on an exam, or right one or two paragraph essays and be offended when I didn't get at least a B.

Feh, but I never thought to spellcheck 'em, or do half the stuff mentioned in this thread for that matter. I'm not sure whether to feel happy or dissapointed.

 

[yourkie1921]

Have you ever done it? Anything from making your teacher look stupid to answering a stupid question on a standardized test with an equally stupid answer. While taking the ISAT(Illinois standardized achievement test) I got the question; imagine someones best day ever. So i filled it with fights, robot apocalypses, and sex. This was all in 7th grade mind you. That will teach those ISAT graders not to put vague questions in tests and give people free reign to answer them.

Wow, you're tests must be pretty easy..........Oh wait I know they are since in 6th grade I got an excerpt from you're states 6th grade standardized test the year before and it was way too easy. But that would never get through in the 7th grade NJask (which I took last year).

I really can't make fun of the system since I live in New Jersey, I think the school is good, and I've had someone from another state say New Jersey has good schools.

My grade 9 religion teacher was worse. We once had a debate regarding euthanasia (side note: when taking a religion class in a catholic school, any argument that contradicts the religion is wrong, no matter how well-thought out it is)

Hey, don't make fun of religious schools. It's like insulting the kid who's actually retarded.

 

[SultenSalami]

I pretty much lost all faith in actually learning much from the educational system after, at age 8, having taught a friend of mine labeled "Dyslexic" to read at the required level within 3 months.

This was confirmed around the same time when the teacher still expected me to write a page full of the same word and write a sentence with that word (Woop-de-do) when I read at a 9th grade level, and wrote similarly.

Also, I cannot recount the times I've played Devil's Advocate in Religion/Philosophy/Literature/Language classes. Apparently, you are automatically a knob if you argue in favour of capital punishment, social darwinism, god being queer etc. - Does make for some fun headbending, though.

 

[fluffylandmine]

3rd grade: only person with a highschool reading level

same year- Had a question on a quiz asking for personal opinion, response: None of your buisness woman.