Making burgers out of sacred cows: beloved movies that completely suck

[ZeroMachine]

Scott Pilgrim. Just bored me, quite simply. Walked out after 20 minutes.

Everyone keeps telling me "it gets good after 20 minutes!" but to be honest I haven't enjoy Cera in a role since Arrested Development, so I doubt anything will get me to watch the movie.

I could've sworn that I've already said on this site that anyone who hates Scott Pilgram because they also hate Michael Cera deserves to be stabbed in the groin.

Yeah... ok. I deserve physical pain because I don't like an actor and most of the things he's been in. Also, you assume that's the only reason I don't like the movie.

I also don't like it because the music sucked and it lived completely off of references to video games and flashy graphics. The sad thing is, I can tell I would like it if it was a cartoon in the style of the comic book (and if the music didn't blow), but I can't stand stuff like that in live action.

 

[Verlander]

The Dark Knight. It was so poor.

 

[Alon Shechter]

Scott Pilgrim..
It was just... It was awful.
Everything bored me. From the... erm.... skating girl...
to the... erm... meeting the skating girl...
To... erm... suddenly having sex with the skating girl but then she kicks you out or something...
To a couple of ninjas being shattered into a million pennies, and swords and psycho bitches and an evil lord who dates this girl that is suffering but won't speak up because he'll hurt her.
I like odd things and movies, but this is too much for me.

 

[Sehnsucht Engel]

I never really liked Avatar. It was mostly just special effects and nothing else.

 

[Neverhoodian]

Forrest Gump sucks. The titular character has no personality whatsoever. They just count on his disabilities as a tool to elicit sympathy. Moreover, every major female character is an unlikeable whore, leading me to wonder if the director is misogynist.

In my opinion, the only good part of the entire film was the battle in Vietnam.

 

[rockyoumonkeys]

I fucking hate Fight Club. And yeah, everything by Zack Snyder as well.

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

Scott Pilgrim. Just bored me, quite simply. Walked out after 20 minutes.

Everyone keeps telling me "it gets good after 20 minutes!" but to be honest I haven't enjoy Cera in a role since Arrested Development, so I doubt anything will get me to watch the movie.

EDIT: Also, totally agree about 300. Dumb movie.

Scott Pilgrim..
It was just... It was awful.
Everything bored me. From the... erm.... skating girl...
to the... erm... meeting the skating girl...
To... erm... suddenly having sex with the skating girl but then she kicks you out or something...
To a couple of ninjas being shattered into a million pennies, and swords and psycho bitches and an evil lord who dates this girl that is suffering but won't speak up because he'll hurt her.
I like odd things and movies, but this is too much for me.

I could've sworn that I've already said on this site that anyone who hates Scott Pilgram because they also hate Michael Cera deserves to be stabbed in the groin.

I loved the comics with a burning passion. Still love them, im a bit of a scott pilgrim fan erm... male? But the movie didnt really cut it. It didnt capture it at all. Reading scott pilgrim is kinda deep and explores the trials and hardships of life, using the "evil ex's" metaphor to represent problems with ramonas past and in their relationship, it really makes you think and i really relate to scott pilgrim. I dont really like Micheal Cera. Like at all. The movie dissapointed me. I dont think he captured the comics magic at all. It was an average movie from an EPIC comic. Which is sad. They under sold it.

Honestly read them. Ive never read a comic or anime ever in my entire life but these are so good. The art style is fun and the story makes A LOT more sense. All the random stuff is how Scott rationalises difficult and hurtfull problems with his simple and almost childish mind. Its kinda fun while still acting like a nice projection for real problems.

I was bored through the whole movie. Only my love for the series kept me watching just to see what amazing part they cut (theres like 40% of the actualy story in there) next and what characters they made two dimensional (kim pine is a MAJOR character in the comics, and another major character wasnt even featured). People who say they do not like Scott pilgrim irk me. It was a fantastic idea, from a brilliant comic and then the movie made it drab and boring, with a flare of hipster. Why bismirch the name!

 

[SckizoBoy]

Snipped Rant

I take it from your lack of reference, you've never seen 'The 300 Spartans' (Richard Egan, Ralph Richardson, David Farrar et al., made in 1962)? (The irony being that Frank Miller wrote his graphic novel after watching the 1962 film as a kid, yeah...)

Besides I watched the movie more for one of the extras, and I quote: 'he knew not to ruin a good story with the truth', which is the most LOL part of it.

OT: I'll take from my response to an 'underrated/overrated' movie thread:

Gladiator, characters/politics/costumes/Maximus/mechanical design/militaristics = all wrong

They even admitted that the opening battle scene ripped Zulu chanting for background noise! WTF?!

 

[Ubermetalhed]

Inception is a film which is beloved by many but ultimately isn't that good, 300 is just a completely daft film that produces a few smiles but no-one thinks it is a masterpiece by any means.

Also what's with the sudden Star Trek turn? Thats not an argument to improve 300 thats just positing ideas for a Star Trek film based on 300 and those ideas would probably belong in a different thread.

 

[necromanzer52]

The Godfather

I've watched it like twice, and it could be the greatest movie of all time...if only I knew what the fuck was going on.

Uhhh... what was so complicated about it?

It's difficult to explain. The plot just seems to ramble on without going anywhere.

 

[Woodsey]

If that was serious, I am going to hit you. Hard.

i will admit, i was made to be very put out by the comment myself.

OT: Bit confused by what you want us to say? What films should have followed a certain format that didn't work for other films, or films that should have been good but weren't?

Sacred cows, I mean movies that everyone agrees were amazing but you yourself personally disliked.

For example, my roommate despises Goodfellas for reasons i cannot possibly fathom, but there it is, he hated that movie and every part of it.

A movie that is accepted as great that you hated, and the reasons why, is what I am looking for.

Hmm...

Well, in that case I would say Fight Club, if only for the ending, which I thought was absolutely stupid.

I enjoyed the rest (and the first half a lot more than the second half), but the ending just felt ridiculous.

I mean...

Spoiler

... he's essentially destroyed the country's - if not much of the world's - economy.

 

[Lord Beautiful]

I fucking hate Kill Bill Vol. 1. Vol. 2 would have been equally shitty were it not for Pai Mei, who is goddamn awesome, and as a result of his presense I consider that movie decent. But back to the first. The acting was horrible (except for that of the charismatic David Carradine), the fights were clumsy and silly, and the poorly-handled gore was nowhere near as stylish as I'm guessing Tarantino intended it to be.

Before the flames cometh, at least let me state that I don't have a negative opinion of Tarantino. Hell, Pulp Fiction was goddamn glorious.

 

[necromanzer52]

The Godfather

I've watched it like twice, and it could be the greatest movie of all time...if only I knew what the fuck was going on.

Uhhh... what was so complicated about it?

It's difficult to explain. The plot just seems to ramble on without going anywhere.

Well, see, I remember the plot being perfectly clear and the storytelling quite straightforward: Michael Corleone tries to stay out of the family business, changing times overtake the Family and the aging Don and lead to a mob war in which Michael's brother is killed and attempt is made on his own life (killing the love of his life instead), he's forced to take the reins and winds up pwning everyone, but the normal life he wanted is tragically lost to him forever. I get that it's long and requires an attention span, but it's not like we're talking about some difficult, labyrinthine work of avant garde cinema.

Yeah, I understood all that. But it didn't need to be 3 hours long and there were a load of scenes that didn't seem to have much to do with anything.

 

[Ironic Pirate]

Assumed intelligence on the part of the reader.

hah hah hah that's clever, the way you responded with a modified image featuring a comic great in a well known role and a simple phrase you could have typed out but didn't feel was impactful enough.

From 'memegenerator', eh? A website of high repute among all interdebators, I must assume.

Bravo, sir. That was quite well done and has never been done before ever, and certainly not seven million hilarious times in the past 0.5 seconds across the internet.

I like the cut of your jib, young man. You'll go far on this interweb.

Someone is unnecessarily passive aggressive, aren't they?

Anyway, most of your complaints about the film were intentional. There's a shit load of things wrong with the film, but portraying the Persians the way they did was because it was being narrated by a Spartan. Criticizing those elements is rather tantamount to missing the point of the movie. I guess you could say they didn't pull that aspect off well, but you didn't, it was the portrayal itself you took issue with. It's like complaining about Memento being told out of order, or 24 being told in real time.

 

[VanityGirl]

So... you hated 300?

Tough cookies. I thought it was a sweet but mindless movie. I liked the slowmo scenes, especially when Leonidas essentially backhanded a guy with his shield. Amazing.

Good! Excellent! Wonderful!

Not remotely what this thread is about!

Thus, sadly, irrelevant.

But hey, I'm glad you enjoyed it!


(also when he backhanded the guy with his shield, he should have died. period full stop. he sends ephialtes away for being a horrible ugly monster I MEAN BECAUSE HE CANNOT HOLD UP HIS SHIELD AND WOULD THUS WEAKEN THE PHALANX and then proceeds weaken the phalanx by not holding up his shield or 'protecting his brother,' because he was far too busy using his shield as a fucking cudgel.
Seriously, Frank Miller's Leonidas was a hypocritical, psychotic **** and my one flickering of joy in that movie was when he finally died and I didn't have to think about him anymore.)

Sorry OP, it was hard for me to tell what you wanted us to say over your excessive complaining from your first post. Your last sentence was the only indication that this thread had some discussion value.

Let's be honest, we don't want a movie like 300 for its historical accuracy. We all know real Spartans were pedophiles and total asshats, but that wouldn't make for a great movie.
Did you ever see The Patriot with Mel Gibson? They combined about 4-5 historical characters in to one character in order to make a more interesting movie. Mel Gibson's character was, in itself, hypocritical, but that didn't stop the movie from being that good.


Just because YOU didn't like it, doesn't mean others don't. Despite even the most massive holes in the plot (or lack there of) and characters doesn't mean you won't find someone that shares or does not share your opinion.


Honestly, we all have movies we hate that others seem to love. My big one was Transformers 2. And while I could make a whole thread bitching about it, it won't do any good.
I actually wrote a long review of it on this site, but still, meh.

 

[Casual Shinji]

Did 300 rape your dog, or what? [sub]Or did you just drink a lot of coffee today?[/sub] If you hate a movie with this much vane-popping anger, let's hope you never get mad at an actuall person. Also, everyone hates 300 so I don't know where this notion of it being well-loved comes from.

I liked the movie myself for a simple reason; When I think of Spartans, I imagine tough, brawny fighting machines with red capes and spears...who bellow punctual one-liners. And I got that in spades.

As for actual well-loved movies that I didn't like at all:

- Every Tarantino movie since Pulp Fiction.
- The Shawshank Redemption
- The Green Mile
- Scot Pillgrim vs. The World
- WALL-E and UP (great concept, badly executed).
- Chris Nolan's Batman movies.
- Gladiator